THE FRIDAY IRREGULAR: Volume 1 Number 15 : 26 March 1999 -------------------------------------------------------- Edited by and copyright (c)1999 Simon Lamont To subscribe or unsubscribe, or to discuss how to contribute articles or ideas, mail TFIr@gizmo1.demon.co.uk Back issues and Irregular goodies can be found at http://www.gizmo1.demon.co.uk/li EDITORIAL We're hoping to bring out another printed Irregular in the next few weeks; contributions or ideas to the usual address, please. No deadline has been set yet but we're tentatively looking at sometime in May. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ SOMETHING TO WATCH Schedules based on listings magazines for the Granada area. (R)=repeat SATURDAY 27 MARCH 12:30 ITV DINOSAURS (R). Earl's sister visits. 13:20 BBC2 SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950) Gloria Swanson classic 15:05 BBC2 THE SEVEN YEAR ITCH (1955) Marilyn Monroe comedy 16:45 BBC2 SPACE 1999. Catacombs of the Moon (R) 20:05 Ch.5 MYSTERIES OF THE UNEXPLAINED. 21:05 ITV THE TERMINATOR (1984). Schwarzenegger sci-fi 21:55 BBC2 THE MAKING OF "THE SHINING". Kubrick documentary 22:35 BBC2 DR STRANGELOVE (1963) Showing as a tribute to Kubrick SUNDAY 28 MARCH 19:00 Ch.5 STRANGER THAN FICTION. Fortean documentary 21:00 BBC1 UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL (1996) Pfeiffer/Redford romantic drama 22:00 Ch.4 THE NET (1995). Sandra Bullock computer thriller MONDAY 29 MARCH 00:35 Ch.5 NHL ICE HOCKEY 00:50 Ch.4 BABYLON 5. By Any Means Necessary (R) 01:50 Ch.4 DARK SKIES. Strangers in the Night (R) 18:15 BBC2 THE SIMPSONS. The Last Temptation of Homer (R) 21:00 Ch.5 NO MERCY (1986). Basinger/Gere crime thriller 22:00 Ch.4 BODY SNATCHERS (1993). Sci-fi horror TUESDAY 30 MARCH 22:00 CH.4 FATHER TED (R) WEDNESDAY 31 MARCH 18:00 BBC2 STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION. The Inner Light (R) 22:30 Ch.4 MICHAEL MOORE: THE AWFUL TRUTH. Media activism. THURSDAY 1 APRIL 00:30 Ch.5 NHL ICE HOCKEY. Los Angeles v Detroit 18:20 BBC2 THE SIMPSONS. Springfield (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalised Gambling). (R) 18:45 BBC2 STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE. Move Along Home (R) 21:00 BBC2 RED DWARF VIII. Pete. 21:00 Ch.5 THEM! (1996). Sci-fi drama 21:30 BBC2 HORIZON. Science documentary about Pompeii 23:30 Ch.4 ALLY McBeal. (R) FRIDAY 2 APRIL (Good Friday) 13:50 BBC1 BACK TO THE FUTURE (1985) 21:00 Ch.4 FRIENDS. Rachel loses Ross' monkey (R) 22:00 Ch.4 FRASIER. Woody visits. 22:15 BBC2 REALITY BITES (1994). Generation X comedy drama. 22:30 Ch.4 SO GRAHAM NORTON. Comedy chat 22:45 BBC1 PARKINSON MEETS WOODY ALLEN 23:10 Ch.4 KING OF THE HILL. SATURDAY 3 APRIL 00:30 BBC2 BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1935). Classic horror 03:10 Ch.4 THE HOWLING (1980). Werewolf horror. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ SOMETHING TO BUY OR RENT (OR NOT) Out on retail is the rollercoasting Lost in Space, which in our opinion is not nearly as bad as the reviews at the time said. Hampered only by having too many characters to make full use of in the time allowed (a legacy of the TV series) with the Robinson women given very little to contribute to the story, the much-vaunted 740+ effects are crisp and effective, the plot works well with only a couple of slow spots, the cast cope adequately with a script that doesn't get overly demanding - Gary Oldman in particular is notable for creating an ultimately sympathetic Dr Smith. We gave Lost in Space 8/10. We'd have given it 9 if there'd been a giant carrot monster... http://us.imdb.com/Title?Lost+in+Space+(1998) One to avoid like the plague is Godzilla, the Devlin/Emmerlich version of Japan's favourite monster, also out on retail. There are movies that are so bad they're good. This is just *bad*. It's about 90 minutes too long at over two hours, there's an obviously-Jurassic-Park-inspired segment with baby Godzillas running round Madison Square Gardens, and a romantic subplot between Matthew *still*-looks-like-the-kid-in-Wargames Broderick's nuclear-research scientist and his wannabe-TV-reporter college sweetheart that's as leaden as most of the acting. Even the effects aren't anything to write home about - we've all seen big CGI'd lizards on screen already, and with a lot more character. The one bright spot in the whole mess is Jean Reno as a laconic French special agent trying to cover up the links between Godzilla and the nuclear testing that bore him. Oh, and there's an oh-so-predictable sequel set-up at the end, which thankfully looks like it won't be forthcoming... Quite remarkably 220+ people voted this mess 10/10 at the internet movie database. We sided with about 850 others and gave it a generous 1/10 - for Jean Reno, the rather humorous way the military seem incapable of hitting a stonking big reptile with missiles and because, however awful it might be, it still isn't Judge Dredd: The Movie. http://www.us.imdb.com/Title?Godzilla+(1998) For anyone who doesn't yet know (is there anyone?) the second Star Wars trailer is out, and available for download from www.starwars.com, although we'd reccommend using one of the mirrors listed at www.countingdown.com - it's more dialogue-based than the first trailer, reveals more plot details, and looks rather spiffing. Also available from www.countingdown.com is Park Wars: The Little Menace, a South-Parked version of the first trailer that had the Editor in stitches from the offset. http://www.countingdown.com http://www.starwars.com If you're in the UK, run Windows 95/98 and want some freebie A Bug's Life goodies, call Cable & Wireless and ask for their Bug's Life internet CD-ROM. It's got the trailer, bloopers, a screensaver, wallpapers, the theme song and a game. What's more, although it comes with C&W Internet software it doesn't try to install it on your PC unless you tell it to. Cable & Wireless: 0800 0923 020 Finally, for those Irregularites who want to know about such things, Jurassic Prawn has a new working title and should be ready for recording within a few weeks. It's still officially an audio-drama, but we're not ruling out the possibility of animation/live action. The current title is now Jurassic Prawn Wars: The Phantom's Revenge. The official website will be online soon... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ QUIZZICAL QUOTATIONS This issue's quotational theme: clothes! * This snakeskin jacket symbolizes my individuality and belief in personal freedom. * Now please get out of my Van Halen T-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up. * Wanna know the secret to surviving air travel? After you get where you're going, take off your shoes and your socks, and you walk around on the rug barefoot and make fists with your toes. * I'm not wearing any pants. Film at eleven. * I ran out of gas! I got a flat tire! I didn't have change for cab fare! I lost my tux at the cleaners! I locked my keys in the car! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD! Last week's sporting quotations were: * I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure. -- Chariots of Fire * During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody. -- Happy Gilmore * Well, it's kinda like table tennis, only with slightly smaller balls. -- Four Weddings and a Funeral * And this here's the TV. Two hours a day, either educational or football, so you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things. -- Raising Arizona * Charlie don't surf! -- Apocalypse Now ------------------------------------------------------------------------ WEIRD WORLD NEWS. Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true... * From the Darwin Drivers file... Romanian soccer player Mario Bugeanu and his girfriend Mirela Iancu died after making love in his car, which was parked in his garage with the engine running. Police colonel Dumitri Secrieru said "They appeared to be unaware of the dangers of carbon monoxide." * Still not much good news for the Sydney Olympics - a recent survey found that more residents of the city plan to get out of town while the games are on than buy tickets for the sporting events. * Lincoln Park High School, Detroit, settled a lawsuit on Monday, brought about by the American Civil Liberties Union on behalf of 17- year-old honors student Crystal Siefferly, a practising witch, who wanted to wear her religious insignia to class. * It's illegal to fish while sitting on a camel in Idaho. * Staff at Brandon Mansion, the "haunted house" attraction in the World of Fun theme park, Greenpark, Connecticut are refusing to work after dark, following repeated sightings of genuine ghosts and hearing noises, even when all the "spook-generating" equipment is turned off. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ IRREGULAR WEBSITES OF THE WEEK There's webcams all over the place these days; this one's pointing at Loch Ness in Scotland in the hope of capturing an image of Nessie, the mythical Loch Ness Monster. All we've ever seen is a lot of mist and rain... http://www.lochness.co.uk/livecam/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ +------------------------------------------------------------+ | The Invisible Family (a non-cartoon) | +--------------------+-------------------+-------------------+ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | +--------------------+-------------------+-------------------+ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE AMAZING NOT-QUITE-RANDOM LOTTERY PREDICTOR! (Available online at www.gizmo1.demon.co.uk/li) Madame Jennifer, our in-house psychic predicts the following numbers will be lucky: 1, 2, 6, 18, 32, 36 ############################################################ end of line