The Friday Irregular

Volume 3, Number 13
26 May 2000

Edited by and copyright ©2000 Simon Lamont

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LAMONT FILM/TV ARCHIVE

The LFA is on target to hit 2000 films within the next 12 months. As always the full film/tv list (all 385k of it, now) can be found at http://www.gizmo1.demon.co.uk/scblbiog/filmtv.htm.

Latest stats (23 May 2000):

Number of Films:   1902
Number of TV shows:   6490
Total items:   8392
     
Number of film tapes:   807
Number of TV tapes:   Unknown
Films by decade    
1910s:   0
1920s:   3
1930s:   40
1940s:   71
1950s:   162
1960s:   235
1970s:   328
1980s:   514
1990s:   549
2000s:   0

 

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

 
Saturday 27 May   -   Christopher Lee and Vincent Price born, 1922 and 1911, respectively
Sunday 28 May   -   Eric Morecambe, comedian, died, 1984
Monday 29 May   -   Start of the Dunkirk evacuation, 1940
Tuesday 30 May   -   First running of the Indianapolis 500 motor race, 1911
Wednesday 31 May   -   First recorded bicycle race, 2km long, in Paris, 1868
Thursday 1 June   -   Marilyn Monroe born Norma Jean Baker, 1926
Friday 2 June   -   Palestine Liberation Organisation formed, Jerusalem, 1964

 

SOMETHING TO WATCH

Listings from any or all of Digiguide (the free downloadable listings service for Win'9x), Radio Times and Heat.

ITV listings for Granada region. Other regions may vary. (R) indicates a repeat.

Film ratings range from * (Crap but fun, and still way better than Judge Dredd) to ***** (Unmissable)

Friday 26 May
 
00:55   Ch.4   Prey. Revelations (R). A strange artefact holds information on the past the future.    
18:00   BBC2   The Simpsons. The PTA Disbands. Skinner and Mrs Krabappel take their students to the Fort Springfield Civil War site.    
18:20   BBC2   The Simpsons. Round Springfield. Bart sues the Krusty-O Cereal Corporation after swallowing a free giveaway, while Lisa sets out to get Bleeding Gums Murphy's album airtime after he dies.    
18:45   BBC2   Sliders. In Dino Veritas (R). The Sliders land in a dinosaur preservation park.    
21:00   Ch.4   Friends. The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS (R). Chandler's boasting upsets Monica, Ross has to make a decision about Emily, and Joey challenges Phoebe to perform a completely selfless act.    
21:30   Ch.4   Smack the Pony. Last in the series of the comedy sketch show.    
22:00   Ch.4   Frasier. The Three Faces of Frasier. Frasier becomes obsessed with a caricature of himself.    
22:25   BBC1   Scent of a Woman (1992). Drama about a college student and a blind retired colonel on a weekend in New York. With Al Pacino, Chris O'Donnell and Gabrielle Anwar.   ***
23:30   Ch.4   Frasier. Come Lie With Me (R). Niles discovers Daphne trying to sneak her boyfriend out of the apartment.    
23:30   ITV   Dharma and Greg. Dharma and the Horse She Rode In On. Greg finds himself working with a former lover.    
 
Saturday 27 May
 
00:40   Ch.5   Poltergeist: The Legacy. Revelations (R) Rachel has to face her past while investigating a coven of witches at her former school.    
11:50   BBC2   Hercules (1957) Classic sword-and-sandal adventure starring Steve Reeves and Sylca Koscina.   ***
14:10   ITV   UFO Chronicles (R). Investigation into the alleged government UFO cover-up.    
19:00   Ch.4   Return to Loch Ness (R) An American scientist makes a high-tech search of the Loch 20 years after his last attempt to solve the mystery of Nessie.    
19:20   ITV   Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995). Sequel to Ace Venture: Pet Detective has all the manic mugging of Jim Carrey but little of the charm of the original.   **
21:05   Ch.4   Guns of the Magnificent Seven (1969) Second sequel to the classic western has reasonable acting but Yul Brynner's absence is very noticeable.   **
21:25   BBC2   Chinatown (1974) Chandleresque thriller with a complex plot involving adultery, murder, scandal and the obligatory femme fatale, with an Oscar-winning screenplay, spot-on direction by Roman Polanski and great performances by a cast that includes Jack Nicholson, John Hillerman and Faye Dunaway. Followed by an interview with Roman Polanski.   ****
23:20   ITV   Every Which Way But Loose (1978) Laid-back comedy about an L.A. bare-knuckle fighting truck driver and his friends - including Clyde the orang-utan. Starring Clint Eastwood, Ruth Gordon, Geoffrey Lewis, Sondra Locke and Beverly D'Angelo.   ****
 
Sunday 28 May
 
16:00   ITV  

Carry on Up the Jungle (1970). Often strained comedy just about saved by Terry Scott and Jackie Piper as Jungle Boy and June

  *
18:40   BBC1   Don't Panic! The "Dad's Army" Story. Behind the scenes story of one of the most famous British sitcoms.    
19:30   BBC1   Dad's Army. Never Too Old (R). Innumerable repeats make it seem like it went on for ever, but the series ended with this episode in which Jones decides to marry.    
21:00   Ch.5   Batman (1989). Tim Burton brought back the darkness of Bob Kane's superhero with stunning effect. Starring Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Jack Palance and Kim Basinger.   ****
22:00   Ch.4   Roxanne (1987) Steve Martin's updating of Cyrano de Bergerac has warmth, drama and more nose-jokes than any other film... Also starring Daryl Hannah, Shelley Duvall and Rick Rossovich.   ***
23:50   BBC1   Top Secret! (1984) Never quite as funny as Abrahams/Zucker/Zucker's better-known Airplane or Hot Shots! Top Secret is still full of verbal and sight gags, unfortunately let down by sporadic pacing and Val Kilmer's wooden performance.   **
 
Monday 29 May
 
01:40   Ch.4   Babylon 5. Walkabout (R). Franklin goes in search of himself, Lyta tests the Shadows' weakness and the replacement Kosh arrives    
15:15   ITV   On her Majesty's Secret Service (1969) Taking over the role of James Bond from Sean Connery was always going to be tough, and George Lazenby lacked both the experience and charisma to do so; he certainly isn't helped by the downbeat ending. Despite its shortcomings this is by no means as bad a film as has often been made out - the locations are suitably stunning, gadgets and set pieces are whizz-bang, Telly Savalas makes a reasonable Blofeld, and a post-Avengers Diana Rigg brings a genuine touch of class as the only woman James Bond really loved. *FILM PICK OF THE WEEK*   ***
18:05   Ch.4   Friends. The One with the Candy Hearts (R) Ross goes on his first date in nine years - and bumps into Carol and Susan, while Monica and Rachel burn mementos of past boyfriends.    
18:20   BBC1   Kindergarten Cop (1990) Arnold Schwarzenegger makes the most of the comic potential as a tough cop working undercover as a pre-school teacher. Also starring Penelope Ann Miller, Pamela Reed and Linda Hunt.   ***
19:05   Ch.4   Loch Ness (1996). Cute drama about an American scientist who is sent against his will to solve the mystery of Loch Ness. A rather predictable resolution deflates what is otherwise a charming film. With Ted Danson, Ian Holm and Joely Richardson.   ***
22:10   BBC2   Quiz Show (1994) Robert Redford's based-on-true-story tale of the TV quiz show scandal that rocked America in the 1950s. Standout performances by Ralph Fiennes and John Turturro as the contestants at the heart of the investigation.   ****
 
Tuesday 30 May
 
00:15   BBC1   Victim of Beauty (1991). Mediocre based-on-true-story TV movie about an abducted beauty queen, listed here solely because it was Jeri "Seven of Nine" Ryan's first lead role.   *
03:15   Ch.4   The Spirit of St.Louis (1957). James Stewart stars as Charles Lindbergh, from his days flying a Curtiss Jenny in barnstorm displays to his solo flight from New York to Paris in the titular plane.   ***
18:45   BBC2   Battlestar Galactica. Lost Planet of the Gods (Part 2) (R) Blue squadron returns to Galactica as the fleet continues through the magnetic void.    
23:10   Ch.4   Spin City. The Nutty Deputy Mayor. Mike gets a new view of life.    
23:40   Ch.4   Michael Moore's The Awful Truth. Political activism with humour.    
 
Wednesday 31 May
 
00:50   Ch.5   NHL Ice Hockey Live. Continuing the Stanley Cup.    
03:05   Ch.4   The Man Who Haunted Himself (1970). Surprisingly effective performance by Roger Moore in a strange psychological horror tale of a car crash survivor being haunted by a sinister double.   **
18:00   BBC2   Star Trek. The Cage (R) Pilot episode of the original series, starring Jeffrey Hunter, Leonard Nimoy and Susan Oliver.    
19:05   BBC2   3rd Rock From The Sun. Dick Solomon of the Indiana Solomons. Dick is invited to a family reunion.    
21:30   BBC1   Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Even better than the original in our opinion. Indicated running time suggests this could be the Director's Cut, although none of the listings we've seen have it as such, so don't take out word for it ;)   ****
 
Thursday 1 June
 
00:50   BBC1   The Day of the Triffids (1963) Classic sci-fi based on John Wyndham's man-eating plants tale. Starring Howard Keel, Mervyn Johns and Janette Scott. Referenced in the opening song of The Rocky Horror Picture Show...   ***
18:00   BBC2   Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Tears of the Prophets. Sisko leads an invasion into Dominion space.    
18:00   Ch.4   Friends. The One with the Stoned Guy. Monica tries to impress a potential boss.    
21:00   Ch.4   Mysteries of Lost Empires. Medieval Siege. Attempts to reconstruct Edward I's trebuchet, a giant catapult capable of smashing castle walls. **NEW SERIES** *TV PICK OF THE WEEK*    
22:50   Ch.4   Ally McBeal. Those Lips, That Hand (R) Ally defends a man accused of murdering his wife and amputating her hand.    
23:55   Ch.5   NHL Ice Hockey Live. More Stanley Cup action.    
 
Friday 2 June
 
01:15   Ch.4   Prey. Infiltration. (R) A reporter who knows too much is stalked by a dominant.    
18:00   BBC2   The Simpsons. The Springfield Connection. Homer tries to profit from a con-artist.    
18:20   BBC2   The Simpsons. Lemon of Troy. Bart sets out to find who stole the town's lemon tree.    
18:45   BBC2   Sliders. Post-Traumatic Slide Syndrome. (R) The Sliders think they've found home.    
21:00   Ch.4   Friends. The One with the Kips (R). Ross tells Rachel about Emily's terms for coming to New York, while Chandler and Monica try to have a romantic weekend.    
21:30   Ch.4   South Park. Rainforest Schmainforest. The children go to Costa Rica as part of the Getting Gay with Kids choir tour. Guest voice: Jennifer Aniston. **NEW SERIES**    
22:00   Ch.4   Frasier. Dark Side of the Moon. Daphe realised that her feelings for Niles are the cause of her problems.    
22:30   Ch.4   Frasier. First Date (R). Daphne draws the wrong conclusion when she overhears Niles and Frasier.    
23:30   ITV   Dharma and Greg. See Dharma Run. Dharma takes on City Hall over parking meters.    
 

QUIZZICAL QUOTATIONS

Back to the quotations. As always, answers next week or from the usual address.

Last issue's spacecraft were: The Enterprise (Star Trek), The Jupiter 2 (Lost in Space), The Lewis & Clark (Event Horizon - to the anonymous complainer who mailed in - duh, like we could use the big ship's name...<G>), The Valley Forge (Silent Running), The Millenium Falcon (Star Wars), The Nostromo (Alien), The Discovery (20001: A Space Odyssey), The Cygnus (The Black Hole), The Roger Young (Starship Troopers) and Cruiser C57D (Forbidden Planet). We'll be running another similar quiz soon.

 

Weird World News

 

A judge in Munih, Germany threw out a case this week brought by three theologians who tried to sue the Protestant and Roman Catholic churches for bringing Jesus' name into disrepute through their roles in wars. Calling themselves "brothers in spirit" of Christ they sued under a law which lets people defend the reputations of dead relatives. The judge ruled against them on the grounds of Germany's constitutional right to religious freedom - after pointing out that since Christians believe Jesus rose from the dead his "brothers" had to legal right to bring a case on his behalf under the dead relations law.

An unidentifed Mexico City man boarded a bus carrying 20 or so passengers last Saturday, brandished an ice pick and demanded cash and valuables, only to have the passengers grab the pick from his hand and attack him with it, killing him.

At the Swedish national sauna championships last week Ari Petroff won the men's title by staying in a 100 degree Celsius (212 degree Fahrenheit) sauna for five minutes and 10 seconds, while Hikka Loimi took the women's title with a time of four minutes 28 seconds. They go on to represent Sweden at the world sauna championships held in Finland in August.

A seven-car convoy carrying bishops to an annual Catholic church meeting in central Italy fell foul of a police speed trap on Wednesday last week when they were clocked doing 86mph in a 56mph zone. State radio RAI reported that one of the bishops tried to explain their need for haste as being the fear of missing the opening speech by a cardinal, but the policeman responded "I'm sorry, your excellency, but with all due respect, not even the Madonna can spare you from these fines."

Sausalito, CA, resident Michael Reppy set out on a transpacific sailing trip to promote saving whales and attempt to set a new record for a solo sail from San Francisco to Yokahama, Japan. One day out he reported that two whales "blew by" his 60-foot racing yacht "Thursday's Child" almost ripping the rudder off. Eight days later, during which time the yacht had become increasingly difficult to steer, he checked again and discovered that the bottom of the rudder actually had fallen off. He noted the irony of of a voyage to save whales being scuppered by whales in his log, posted at the journey's website, www.tchild.org.

IRREGULAR WEBSITE OF THE WEEK

[Apologies for the accidental omission of this section last week, so we're bringing you two sites this week.]

Operating system tend to provoke entreme reactions among some people (usually those who use other OS's), so - without further comment - we present this week's sites:

THE AMAZING NOT-QUITE-RANDOM LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Madame Jennifer, our in-house psychic predicts the following numbers will be lucky:

4, 6, 12, 21, 40, 46


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