The Friday Irregular

Volume 8, Number 13 (TFIr ^#195)

5^th September 2003

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Film/TV/CD Archive: http://gizmo1.demon.co.uk/scblbiog/filmtv.txt & http://gizmo1.demon.co.uk/scblbiog/cd-list.txt - 634 CDs, 2833 films (349 on DVD) and 10252 TV shows (670 on DVD), totalling 13085 items, at 26 August 2003.

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 5 September - Louis XIV of France (r.1643-1715) born, 1638. First Continental Congress met in Philadelphia, 1774. Cricketer and Almanac founder John Wisden born, 1826. William McKinley, 25th US President (1897-1901) assassinated, 1901. Freddie Mercury born, 1946. Voyager II launched, 1977. Happy birthday to: actress Rose McGowan (30), musician Dweezil Zappa (34), satirist Chris Morris (38), yachtswoman Tracy Edwards (41), actress Raquel Welch (63), scriptwriter Dick Clement (66). Today is: National Be-Late-For-Something Day in the USA.

Saturday 6 September - The Great Fire of London ended, 1666. James II (r.1685-88) died, 1701. The first American lighthouse completed, in Boston, 1716. John Dalton, developer of the atomic theory of matter, born, 1766. "Star Trek" debuted on NBC, 1966. TV producer/presenter Desmond Wilcox died, 2000. Happy birthday to: musician Nina Persson (29), tennis player Greg Rusedski (30), musician Dolores O'Riordan (32), actress Rosie Perez (39), musician Roger Waters (60), Satirist/puppeteer Roger Law (62). Today is: Independence Day in Swaziland. Defence of Pakistan Day in Pakistan. National Heroes' Day in São Tomé and Príncipe.

Sunday 7 September - Elizabeth I (r.1558-1603) born, 1533. Catherine Parr, sixth wife of Henry VIII, died, 1548. The French defeated the Russians at Borodino, 1812. Artist Grandma Moses born, 1860. End of the Boxer Rising in China, 1901. Pre-Raphaelite artist William Holman Hunt died, 1910. Happy birthday to: actress Shannon Elizabeth (30), TV presenter Lisa Rogers (32), actress Angie Everhart (34), actors Corbin Bernsen & Doug Bradley (both 49), musician Chrissie Hynde (52). Today is: Independence Day in Brazil. Victory Day in Mozambique. National Grandparents Day in the USA.

Monday 8 September - Richard I (r.1189-99) born, 1157. Composer Antonin Dvořák born, 1841. First US Air Mail service began, 1920. Peter Sellers born, 1925. First V-2 rocket landed in Britain, 1944. President Ford issued a pardon for former President Richard Nixon over Watergate, 1974. Happy birthday to: actor Jonathan Taylor Thomas (22), musician Pink (24), actor David Arquette (32), actress Heather Thomas (46), TV presenter Judith Hann (61), comedian Sid Caesar (81). Today is: International Literacy Day. National Day in Andorra. National Day in Malta. National Day in North Korea.

Tuesday 9 September - William Bligh, Captain of HMS Bounty, born, 1754. The American Continental Congress authorised the name "United States", 1776. Leo Tolstoy born, 1828. NBC founded, 1926. Conestoga I, the first private rocket, launched, 1982. Tse-tung Mao died, 1976. Happy birthday to: actress Michelle Williams (23), musician Macy Gray (33), model Rachel Hunter (34), actor Hugh Grant (43), musician Dave Stewart (51), actor Chaim Topol (68). Today is: Kiku no Sekku (Chrysanthemum Day) in Japan. Independence Day in Tajikistan. Admission Day (31st state, 1850) in California.

Wednesday 10 September - John Smith elected president of the Jamestown Colony council, 1608. Elias Howe granted the patent for his sewing machine, 1846. Norwegian traitor Vidkun Quisling sentenced to death, 1945. Swanson launched the first 'TV dinner', 1953. "Gunsmoke" debuted on CBS, 1955. Actress Pier Angeli died, 1971. Happy birthday to: actor Ryan Phillippe (29), director Guy Ritchie (35), actor Colin Firth (43), actress Judy Geeson (55), musicologist Christopher Hogwood (62), golfer Arnold Palmer (74). Today is: St George's Cave Day in Belize. Liberation Day in Bulgaria. Teachers' Day in China.

Thursday 11 September - Short story writer O Henry (William Sidney Porter) born, 1862. Novelist D.H. Lawrence born, 1885. Jan Smuts, Prime Minister of South Africa 1919-24 & 1939-48, died, 1950. Nikita Khrushchev, Soviet premier 1958-64, died, 1971. Salvador Allende, president of Chile 1970-73, died, 1973. Hijacked planes crashed into the World Trade Center towers, the Pentagon and a field in Pennsylvania, 2001. Happy birthday to: musicians Harry Connick Jr (36), Moby & Edie Brickell (both 38), actress Roxanne Dawson (39), soccer manager Franz Beckenbauer (58), director Brian de Palma (63). Today is: National Liberation Day in Chile. Ethiopian New Year in Ethiopia. Founder's Death Anniversary in Pakistan. Barangay Day in The Philippines.

THE WISDOM OF...

This week, Rod Serling:
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

FILM QUIZ

A mixed bag this week. Answers next week or from the regular address.

- You don't want to hurt anyone do you?
- But I do and I'm sorry.

It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing.

He was killed in the ring in Houston. By Tex Colorado. You know, the Arizona Assassin.

Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K.

Donut Nazi.

Last issue's lines were:

- Kitty, do you even know who Graham Greene is?
- I think we have all seen "Bonanza".
-- Donnie Darko

I never sleep, I don't know why. I had a roommate and I drove her nuts, I mean really nuts, they had to take her away in an ambulance and everything. But she's okay now, but she had to transfer to an easier school, but I don't know if that had anything to do with being my fault.
-- Real Genius

Let's put it this way: I fought for the South. We lost.
-- Near Dark

- You're going to neuralize me, brought me to a public place so I wouldn't make a scene?
- You ARE making a scene.
-- Men in Black II

You don't have time to think up there. If you think, you're dead.
-- Top Gun

WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

DUMB CRIMS... There are a three contenders for Dumb Crim of the week this issue; in third place is the unnamed German thief who tried to make a snatch-and-grab raid on a convenience store in Cologne but got his little finger trapped in a wooden rack and had to wait until fire-fighters arrived to free him, and - of course - the police were also on hand. Just slipping into second place is a former waiter at the New Coffee diner located inside the Sao Luiz hospital in Sao Paolo, Brazil, who decided to put on a mask and rob his own workplace at gunpoint. The manager recognised his voice and pulled off the mask to confirm his suspicion. In the ensuing struggle the gun was fired into the air and the man escaped, but was caught by hospital security staff who knew him. Our top Dumb Crim, however, is a 40-year-old man from Janesville, Wisconsin, who stole an electronic device slightly larger than a brick from outside a home. The woman who had left it there called the police who had already located and arrested the man, as the device was a base tracking system for her electronic tag used to track the location of certain released prisoners through the Global Positioning System; if they move more than 100 feet from the base (or, as in this case, the base is moved more than 100 feet from them), an alarm is automatically raised at the police station.

TECHNO-WORSHIP... When mobile phones with SMS text messaging first appeared one of the first applications (apart from just chat) was a church offering a daily prayer sent straight to worshippers' phones. Now the Indian BPL Mobile cellular operator has launched a similar scheme for one of Mumbai's biggest Hindu festivals, during which thousands of people queue outside the temple of elephant-headed god Ganesh to have prayers said for them. For 51 rupees (about 70p) plus the normal SMS charge, devotees can send the word PUJA (prayer) to a BPL number, and they will have prayers said for them, receiving a receipt, suitable offerings and a picture of Ganesh after the prayers have been said. According to BPL over 5,000 people have used the service since the start of the ten-day Ganesh festival last Saturday. Meanwhile a London vicar who broadcast a service over the Internet with webcams has received emails from as far afield as Australia and Japan.

WE THOUGHT HE'D BE CALLED ERNIE... Welsh Formula 3 racing driver Richard Rozhon set a new speed record last week, but not in the sort of vehicle he's used to - it was in a souped-up electric milk float. The float, a newly-designed Electron E150 reached 73 mph, and although it was empty, Rozhon believes a full load of milk bottles would have made little impact. A conventional milk float running on the same day reached just 50 mph. In other motoring news, Toyota have debuted a hybrid petrol-electric car, the Prius, that is capable of parallel parking by itself using electric power steering and sensors.

IF IT'S TUESDAY AND YOU ROLLED A FIVE, IT COULD BE BELGIUM... Tourists fed up with traditional sight-seeing itineraries now have a number of different options developed by Latourex, the not-so-scientific French Laboratory of Experimental Tourism, including monopolytourism, in which the itinerary is set with a local edition of the game Monopoly and dice, alphabetical sightseeing, starting in the first listed street in the city's A-Z street guide and finishing at the last - a 12 mile walk in London.

ANIMAL ROUND-UP... Ornithologists drive flock of rare Northern bald Ibis to wintering grounds because they were unable to find their own way there. 5-foot crocodile climbs out of Prague ground floor flat window while owner sleeps. Dutch customs officers find up to 2,000 baboon noses (presumed intended for traditional Asian medicines) in a suitcase. Suffolk chicken laying eggs three times normal size. New Zealand research ship found over 100 new species of aquatic life around Lord Howe Island and Norfolk Island in June, including giant sea spiders, gelatinous sea cucumbers and heavily armoured shrimps.

STORIES WHICH ALSO CAUGHT OUR EYE THIS WEEK: German drives off after leaving 100,000 euros on his car's roof sending the notes blowing across the road. Disgraced former New York Times reporter Jayson Blair blames his eccentricity and love of junk food for his problems. Woman thinks she'll give her fiancé a surprise by jumping out of the wardrobe at him; he panics and shoots her. Swede wins over 700,000Kr (about UKP60,000) unfair dismissal compensation for being sacked as a result of complaining about a colleague's wind. 15-year-old Italian boy hitchhikes 1,250 miles to see the Swedish girl he fell for on holiday only to get the cold shoulder. Schwarzenegger hit by egg on CA gubernatorial campaign trail. Two South Koreans arrested for tunnelling into US military base to steal beer and wine. Good news for smokers - apparently a couple of glasses of red wine taken while smoking may help counteract the harmful effects of nicotine. Canadian attempt at world group hug record fails after just 69 people show up (around 4,640 short). British world altitude balloon record attempt called off after tear in balloon during filling.

ENTERTAINMENT BRIEFS

Film: Christian Bale & Hugh Dancy in running for next Batman movie. B.Aff/J.Lo wedding reportedly set for September 14. Horror sequel Jeepers Creepers 2 tops US holiday weekend box office, held at #2 in UK by Pirates of the Caribbean. Pierce Brosnan evicts cybersquatter from www.piercebrosnan.com. Harrison Ford confirms role in fourth Indiana Jones flick [Indiana Jones and the Nursing Home of Doom? - Ed]. Train used as the Hogwarts Express vandalised. Willem Defoe & Cate Blanchett likely to join Bill Murray & Anjelica Huston in Wes Anderson's comedy adventure The Life Aquatic. AMPAS issues new guidelines for Oscar campaigning. Producer Dino De Laurentiis gets lifetime achievement Golden Lion at Venice Film Festival. Ten-year-lost Satyajit Ray screenplay found. EU countries planning closer co-operation to boost European film industry. Tomb Raider 2 banned in China.

TV: USA cable network fires model & sometime tennis player Anna Kournikova from her sports reporter job after five days, following a series of "embarrassing gaffes" at the US Open in Flushing Meadows. Guinness Book of Records refuses to endorse illusionist David Blaine's planned televised 44-day fast, suspended from a London bridge in a clear plastic box, as too dangerous for imitators, also point out that recorded fasts of over 380 days have been made. 80-year-old woman goes clubbing in Oberhausen, Germany. Physicist Stephen Hawking's student life story to be made into TV drama. West End musical based on Victoria Wood's Acorn Antiques soap spoof planned. Neil Armstrong's moon walk tops requests from ITN's footage archive, followed by Kennedy assassination & 9/11 attacks. Jack Osbourne lands own TV show on UK Channel 4. Holby City actress Laura Sadler's death ruled accidental. Over 12m watch long-term character Curly Watts' departure from Coronation Street.

Music & Radio: Royal Albert Hall tribute to George Harrison to get cinema & DVD release in November, as are a Coldplay live DVD/CD and the next Kylie Minogue single. Cost of Universal Music Group CDs to be cut by 30% in US. The Streets' Original Pirate Material shortlisted for the Shortlist Music Prize. Ozzy Osbourne breaks foot, cancels UK dates. Rolling Stones rearranging a number of tour dates across Europe. The Cult's Ian Astbury recruited by surviving Doors as Jim Morrison replacement. Colombian singer-songwriter Juanes scoops five Latin Grammy awards. Keith Richards claims Eric Clapton was once desperate to join the Rolling Stones. Springsteen world tour to conclude at New York's Shea Stadium in October. Elton John's Are You Ready For Love tops UK singles chart, The Darkness' Permission to Land tops albums. James Last's The Classical Collection gives him his first #1 classical chart album after 50 years.

Books: The Sun claims titles for Harry Potter 6 & 7 will be Harry Potter and the Mudblood Revolution & Harry Potter and the Quest of the Centaur after those names were registered as trademarks by a company based at the same offices as Warner Brothers' UK lawyers; fans dismiss claim as a smokescreen because the titles are not "cool" enough. 300-year-old diary - Roger Morrice's Entring Book - to shed light on English life from 1677 to 1691, due for publication in 2005. New Frederick Forsyth thriller "Avenger" - first for seven years - out now. Jessica Lynch - now granted honourable military discharge - signs US$1m book deal. Poet Louise Gluck appointed US poet Laureate.

Obits: artist Patrick Procktor (67), jazz trombonist Wayne Andre (71), actor Charles Bronson (81), former BBC cricket commentator Peter West (83), actor Rand Brooks (84), poet Lawrence Fixel (86), British wrestling commentator Kent Walton (86), abstract artist Sir Terry Frost (87).

TECH BRIEFS

MPAA seeking injunction against British distributor of DVD copying software. Hackers take down SCO website. Italian spammers now liable for up to three years in jail. Following arrest of US student, Romanian police investigating second MSBlast worm variant suspect. UK online banking customers more than double over last two years. Unreal Tournament 2004 launching with interplayer voice communication & spectator viewing proxy. Microsoft warns of another critical flaw, this time affecting Office. Virginia Tech building supercomputer cluster of over 1,000 Power Mac G5s. China, Korea & Japan planning open source server OS based on Linux. ABC launch regularly-scheduled web-only broadcast of political talk show. IBM debuts Linux TV ads in US, also reclaim top spot in server market from Hewlett-Packard. Xbox wireless net adapter approved by FCC.

WEBSITE OF THE WEEK

Readers of the Daily Irregular might be familiar with Wikipedia, the online encyclopaedia that we often link to in the Today in History section. It's got over 150,000 articles so far in the English version, is multilingual and free.
http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page

THE AMAZING NOT-QUITE-RANDOM LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Madame Jennifer, our in-house psychic predicts the following numbers will be lucky:
6, 9, 12, 28, 30 & 32.
You can consult Madame Jennifer online at the Daily Irregular:
http://www.gizmo1.demon.co.uk/li/

AND FINALLY...

A traffic cop pulled over a woman for speeding. He took out his summons book and pen, and asked her name.

"Of course, officer," she said in a stiffly foreign accent, "It is Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbekistan. I am here to visit my daughter."

The cop paused, his pen poised over the ticket. Then he slowly put them away, and said "OK, ma'am, I'll just give you a warning now, but don't let me catch you again."

...end of line

Friday 5 September	-	Louis XIV of France (r.1643-1715) born, 1638. First Continental Congress met in Philadelphia, 1774. Cricketer and Almanac founder John Wisden born, 1826. William McKinley, 25th US President (1897-1901) assassinated, 1901. Freddie Mercury born, 1946. Voyager II launched, 1977. Happy birthday to: actress Rose McGowan (30), musician Dweezil Zappa (34), satirist Chris Morris (38), yachtswoman Tracy Edwards (41), actress Raquel Welch (63), scriptwriter Dick Clement (66). Today is: National Be-Late-For-Something Day in the USA.

Saturday 6 September	-	The Great Fire of London ended, 1666. James II (r.1685-88) died, 1701. The first American lighthouse completed, in Boston, 1716. John Dalton, developer of the atomic theory of matter, born, 1766. "Star Trek" debuted on NBC, 1966. TV producer/presenter Desmond Wilcox died, 2000. Happy birthday to: musician Nina Persson (29), tennis player Greg Rusedski (30), musician Dolores O'Riordan (32), actress Rosie Perez (39), musician Roger Waters (60), Satirist/puppeteer Roger Law (62). Today is: Independence Day in Swaziland. Defence of Pakistan Day in Pakistan. National Heroes' Day in São Tomé and Príncipe.

Sunday 7 September	-	Elizabeth I (r.1558-1603) born, 1533. Catherine Parr, sixth wife of Henry VIII, died, 1548. The French defeated the Russians at Borodino, 1812. Artist Grandma Moses born, 1860. End of the Boxer Rising in China, 1901. Pre-Raphaelite artist William Holman Hunt died, 1910. Happy birthday to: actress Shannon Elizabeth (30), TV presenter Lisa Rogers (32), actress Angie Everhart (34), actors Corbin Bernsen & Doug Bradley (both 49), musician Chrissie Hynde (52). Today is: Independence Day in Brazil. Victory Day in Mozambique. National Grandparents Day in the USA.

Monday 8 September	-	Richard I (r.1189-99) born, 1157. Composer Antonin Dvořák born, 1841. First US Air Mail service began, 1920. Peter Sellers born, 1925. First V-2 rocket landed in Britain, 1944. President Ford issued a pardon for former President Richard Nixon over Watergate, 1974. Happy birthday to: actor Jonathan Taylor Thomas (22), musician Pink (24), actor David Arquette (32), actress Heather Thomas (46), TV presenter Judith Hann (61), comedian Sid Caesar (81). Today is: International Literacy Day. National Day in Andorra. National Day in Malta. National Day in North Korea.

Tuesday 9 September	-	William Bligh, Captain of HMS Bounty, born, 1754. The American Continental Congress authorised the name "United States", 1776. Leo Tolstoy born, 1828. NBC founded, 1926. Conestoga I, the first private rocket, launched, 1982. Tse-tung Mao died, 1976. Happy birthday to: actress Michelle Williams (23), musician Macy Gray (33), model Rachel Hunter (34), actor Hugh Grant (43), musician Dave Stewart (51), actor Chaim Topol (68). Today is: Kiku no Sekku (Chrysanthemum Day) in Japan. Independence Day in Tajikistan. Admission Day (31st state, 1850) in California.

Wednesday 10 September	-	John Smith elected president of the Jamestown Colony council, 1608. Elias Howe granted the patent for his sewing machine, 1846. Norwegian traitor Vidkun Quisling sentenced to death, 1945. Swanson launched the first 'TV dinner', 1953. "Gunsmoke" debuted on CBS, 1955. Actress Pier Angeli died, 1971. Happy birthday to: actor Ryan Phillippe (29), director Guy Ritchie (35), actor Colin Firth (43), actress Judy Geeson (55), musicologist Christopher Hogwood (62), golfer Arnold Palmer (74). Today is: St George's Cave Day in Belize. Liberation Day in Bulgaria. Teachers' Day in China.

Thursday 11 September	-	Short story writer O Henry (William Sidney Porter) born, 1862. Novelist D.H. Lawrence born, 1885. Jan Smuts, Prime Minister of South Africa 1919-24 & 1939-48, died, 1950. Nikita Khrushchev, Soviet premier 1958-64, died, 1971. Salvador Allende, president of Chile 1970-73, died, 1973. Hijacked planes crashed into the World Trade Center towers, the Pentagon and a field in Pennsylvania, 2001. Happy birthday to: musicians Harry Connick Jr (36), Moby & Edie Brickell (both 38), actress Roxanne Dawson (39), soccer manager Franz Beckenbauer (58), director Brian de Palma (63). Today is: National Liberation Day in Chile. Ethiopian New Year in Ethiopia. Founder's Death Anniversary in Pakistan. Barangay Day in The Philippines.