The Friday Irregular

27 August 2010

Edited by and copyright ©2010 Simon Lamont
tfir@simonlamont.co.uk

The latest edition is always available at http://www.gizmo1.demon.co.uk/li/tfir/index.htm
The archives are at http://www.gizmo1.demon.co.uk/tfir/archive/index.htm

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 27 August   -   The Battle of Plataea, 479BC. Artist Titian died, 1577. Philosopher Georg Hegel born, 1770. Krakatoa entered the final stage of eruption, 1883. Writer C.S. Forester born, 1899. The Mariner 2 probe was launched on its way to Venus, 1962. Photo-journalist Margaret Bourke-White died, 1971. F1 racing driver Mark Webber born, 1976. Lord Louis Mountbatten assassinated by the IRA, 1979.
 
Saturday 28 August   -   Saint Augustine of Hippo died, 430. Start of the Siege of Acre, 1189. Henry Hudson discovered Delaware Bay, 1609. Writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe born, 1749. Actor David Soul born, 1943. Actor Robert Shaw died, 1978. The American Centers for Disease Control announced the high incidence among gay men of the symptoms that would later be recognised as those of AIDS, 1981. Singer LeAnn Rimes born, 1982. Actress Ruth Gordon died, 1985.
 
Sunday 29 August   -   Card games expert Edmund Hoyle died, 1769. Artist Jean Ingres born, 1780. The United Kingdom legislated for the abolition of slavery across its empire, 1833. Inventor Charles F. Kettering born, 1876. Founding of the Goodyear tyre company, 1898. Oxford don William Spooner, famous for getting his words muddled, died, 1930. Actress Rebecca De Mornay born, 1959. Hurricane Katrina devastated the U.S. Gulf Coast from Louisiana to the Florida Panhandle, 2005. Comedy producer Geoffrey Perkins died, 2008.
 
Monday 30 August   -   Scientist Anton van Leeuwenhoek died, 1723. HMS Pandora sank, 1791. Writer Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley born, 1797. Founding of Melbourne, Australia, 1835. Actor Raymond Massey born, 1896. British forces liberated Hong Kong from the Japanese, 1945. Spy Guy Burgess died, 1963. Actress Cameron Diaz born, 1972. Musician Sterling Morrison died, 1995.
 
Tuesday 31 August   -   Henry V of England died, 1422. Start of the Lewis and Clark expedition, 1803. Educator Maria Montessori born, 1870. Mary Ann Nichols, first known victim of Jack the Ripper, murdered, 1888. Thomas Edison patented the Kinetoscope, 1897. Lyricist Alan Lerner born, 1918. Journalist Martin Bell born, 1938. Boxer Rocky Marciano died, 1969. Edvard Munch's The Scream, stolen in 2004, was recovered by Norwegian police, 2006.
 
Wednesday 1 September   -   Philosopher Henry More died, 1687. Discovery of the main belt asteroid Juno, 1804. Writer Edgar Rice Burroughs born, 1875. Georges Méliès' A Trip to the Moon premiered, 1902. Actor Richard Farnsworth born, 1920. Poet Siegfried Sassoon died, 1967. The SR-71 Blackbird set the (still current) record time of 1 hour, 54 minutes and 56.4 seconds for flying from New York to London, 1974. Tennis player Gaël Monfils born, 1986. Physicist Luis Alvarez died, 1988.
 
Thursday 2 September   -   Start of the Great Fire of London, 1666. Poet William Somervile born, 1675. Civil engineer Thomas Telford died, 1834. Union forces entered the evacuated Atlanta, Georgia, 1864. Novelist Joseph Roth born, 1894. Artist Henri Rousseau died, 1910. Establishment of the Principality of Sealand, 1967. Cricketer Chris Tremlett born, 1981. Entertainer Roy Castle died, 1994.

THE WISDOM OF...

This week, George Bernard Shaw:
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. (Cleopatra)

FILM QUIZ

A mixed bag of quotations. Answers next week or from the regular address. Last issue's quotations were:

WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

LE CROC. Reports of a large crocodile in the English Channel off the French town of Boulogne-sur-Mer prompted bathing to be suspended and coastguards in Dover and France put on alert, but the 'crocodile' was actually a piece of wood, which officials said, did look somewhat like a crocodile from a distance. A spokesman for the Boulogne-sur-Mer town hall suggested that the reports were "a joke."

FLUSHED! A toilet described as having once belonged to reclusive writer J.D. Salinger has been placed for sale on eBay for US$1m (about £640,000). The toilet, "uncleaned and in its original condition," comes with provenance attesting that it was removed from Salinger's former home and had been installed for him, adding "Who knows how many of [his] stories were thought up and written while Salinger sat on this throne!"

MOUSEWAY! Rhondda Cynon Taf County Borough Concil in Wales has come in for both praise and criticism for building three bridges across the new Church Village bypass - for dormice. The £90m road split the rodents' natural habitat in half, so the bridges, which cost £190,000 will allow them to cross safely.

GOOD THING HE DIDN'T TRY THE FOOD... A ski mask-wearing man who held up a Wendy's burger restaurant in Atlanta, Georgia, by walking up to the drive-through window with a shotgun and demanding they hand over the cash drawer phoned them twice to complain that there should have been more money in the till. "Next time there better be more than $586," he told them, in the first call. At last report he is still at large.

THEY NEED COUNSELLING... A report has listed some of the bizarre phone calls received by British local council staff, including the man who wanted to known if he could roll up a zebra crossing, the East Dorset council who received a call from a resident on holiday in Germany asking why his bus was late, and one in Korea who wanted a Christmas turkey ordered from a local butcher, the man who wanted to know the plot of C18th play She Stoops to Conquer, the person wanting to know if they could register the death of someone who wasn't dead, and the Surrey council staff who had to explain to an irate caller that the number they had provided for a local library was not wrong, but "0900-1800" was the opening hours, not part of the number. It's not just residents who cause these problems though. Police had to be called to Northumberland council premises after a German man turned up and demanded that they give him political asylum. The police had to explain that all Europeans are free to enter Britain.

ENTERTAINMENT BRIEFS

Research suggests library usage in England in decline. Iron Maiden's 15th studio album, The Final Frontier tops UK album chart. Roll Deep top singles chart. BBC, HarperCollins in court over book that claims to reveal the identity of Top Gear's tame racing driver, The Stig. ITV blames human error for World Cup gaffe that saw HD viewers miss Steven Gerrard's goal in England v USA match. Ansel Adams trust suing over sale of claimed 'lost' photographs. Format owners block return of Name That Tune on Channel Five. Somebody won Big Brother, only about 4m people watched (the BB1 finale was watched by over 10m). Reports suggest Channel Five might pick up the show next year. The X Factor talent show found to be auto-tuning contestants for broadcast. Francis Ford Coppola to receive lifetime achievement Oscar. Kevin Spacey, Sam Mendes to reunite for first time since American Beauty for stageproduction of Richard III. MI5 files reveal agency suspected Wolf Mankowitz, screenwriter of Casino Royale [1967] and contributor to Dr No of being Russian spy. Former Happy Mondays dancer Bez given jail sentence for assaulting ex-girlfriend, after refusing community service. Anna Paquin, Kristen Bell join cast of Scream 4. Libertines reunite for one-off show, considering full-time reunion. Angelina Jolie planning to write/direct Bosnian War film. Obits: film director Satoshi Kon (46), record-breaking movie fan Gwilym Hughes, thought to have seen close to 30,000 films since 1953 (65), songwriter George David Weiss (89).

WEBSITE OF THE WEEK

It's famously like Star Wars' The Force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together. Duct tape also holds people to walls and ceilings, as this site shows. It's the Duck [sic]Tape Guys Wall Taping Gallery.
http://octanecreative.com/ducttape/walltapings/

THE AMAZING NOT-QUITE-RANDOM LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Madame Jennifer, our in-house psychic predicts the following numbers will be lucky:
4, 13, 19, 26, 31, 40

AND FINALLY...

   A blonde and a brunette are sitting next to each other on a plane when the conversation turns to the age-old question of whether blondes are dumber than brunettes. "I'm a university astrophysics lecturer," the brunette says, "What do you do?"

   "I give $5 haircuts in a shop downtown."

The brunette smiles to herself, and suggests an experiment. For every question she asks that the blonde cannot answer, the blonde has to give her $5, but for every question the blonde asks that she cannot answer, she'll hand over $30. The blonde agrees, so the brunette asks the first question.

   "What is the mean distance between the Earth and the Sun?" The blonde immediately hands over $5, then thinks for a moment.

   Finally the blonde asks, "What goes up a hill with four legs but comes down with five?"

   The brunette spends the rest of the flight thinking hard, and getting more and more annoyed by this question. Unable to come up with the answer, just before the plane lands she hands over $30 and says, "OK I give up, what goes up a hill with four legs and comes down with five?"

   The blonde hands over another $5 bill.


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