The Friday Irregular

17 June 2011

Edited by and copyright ©2011 Simon Lamont
tfir@simonlamont.co.uk

The latest edition is always available at http://www.gizmo1.demon.co.uk/li/tfir/index.htm
The archives are at http://www.gizmo1.demon.co.uk/tfir/archive/index.htm

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 17 June - King Edward I of England born, 1239. Shogun Ahikaga Yoshiteru died, 1565. Sir Francis Drake claimed Nova Albion (present-day California) for England, 1579. John Kay, inventor of the flying shuttle, born, 1704. The Statue of Liberty arrived in New York Harbor, 1885. Artist M.C. Escher born, 1898. Artist Edward Burne-Jones died, 1898. The last surviving Dusky Seaside Sparrow died, 1987. Dancer/actress Cyd Charisse died, 2008. World Day to Combat Desertification and Drought.

Saturday 18 June - Five monks in Canterbury witness what is thought to have been the formation of the Giordano Bruno crater on the moon, 1178. Poet Gabriello Chiabrera born, 1552. Satirist Tom Brown died, 1704. The Duke of Wellington defeated Napoleon Bonaparte at the Battle of Waterloo, 1815. Publisher E.W. Scripps born, 1854. Author Maxim Gorky died, 1936. Actress Isabella Rossellini born, 1952. Physician Walter C. Alvarez died, 1978. Astronaut Sally Ride became the first American woman in space, aboard STS-7, 1983. International Sushi Day.

Sunday 19 June - The first English colony on Roanoke Island was abandoned, 1586. Mathematician Blaise Pascal born, 1623. Engraver Matthäus Merian died, 1650. The Confederate States of America ceased to exist as the last of them was formally readmitted to the United States, 1870. Wallis Simpson, Duchess of Windsor, born, 1896. Comedy writer Barry Took born, 1928. Author J.M. Barrie died, 1937. Actress Laura Sadler died, 2003. Ceremonial laying of the first stone at the Svalbard Global Seed Vault, 2006. Juneteenth (African American). Father's Day.

Monday 20 June - The University of Oxford received its charter, 1214. Sculptor Jacques Saly born, 1717. Composer Carl Friedrich Abel died, 1787. Queen Victoria succeeded to the British throne, 1837. Errol Flynn born, 1909. Gangster Bugsy Siegel died, 1947. The "red telephone" between the US and the Soviet Union was established, 1963. Actress Nicole Kidman born, 1967. Inventor and Nobel laureate Jack Kilby died, 2005. World Refugee Day.

Tuesday 21 June - Hannibal defeated the Romans at the Battle of Lake Trasimene, 217 BCE. Political writer Niccolò Machiavelli died, 1527. Mathematician James Short born, 1710. Founding of Halifax, Nova Scotia, 1749. Astronomer Jean Chacornac born, 1823. Physicist Anders Jonas Ångström died, 1874. Pakistani politician Benazir Bhutto born, 1953. Musician John Lee Hooker died, 2001. SpaceShipOne became the first privately funded vehicle to achieve spaceflight, 2004. The solstice (Summer in the Northern hemisphere, Winter in the Southern) and longest day.

Wednesday 22 June - Judge James Whitelocke died, 1632. The Holy Office in Rome forced Galileo to recant his Sun-centric view of the universe, 1633. Explorer George Vancouver born, 1757. Start of the June Days Uprising in Paris, 1848. Writer H. Rider Haggard born, 1856. Mathematician Felix Klein died, 1925. Actress Emmanuelle Seigner born, 1966. Virgin Atlantic Airways' first flight departed from London Gatwick Airport for Newark, New Jersey, 1984. Entertainer Fred Astaire died, 1987.

Thursday 23 June - Ptolemy Caesarion, son of Julius Caesar and Cleopatra born, 47 BCE. Roman emperor Vespasian died, 79. Start of the Battle of Bannockburn, 1314. Poet Mark Akenside died, 1770. Composer Carl Reinecke born, 1824. Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for the typewriter, 1868. The Antarctic Treaty came into force, 1961. Archaeologist Helen Geake born, 1967. TV producer Aaron Spelling died, 2006. United Nations Public Service Day.

THE WISDOM OF...

This week, Mary Wilson Little:
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.

FILM QUIZ

A mixed bag of quotations. Answers next issue or from the regular address.

You used to be much more..."muchier." You've lost your muchness.

Sidney, I love you and you're a very talented man but you don't know anything about loading dishes.

My eyes are ceramic. Caught a bazooka round at Little Big Horn. Or was it Okinawa? The one without the Indians.

My last girlfriend was a feminist, vegan punk who broke up with me because she thought I was too angry.

Jimmy was the kind of guy that rooted for bad guys in the movies.

Last issue's quotations were:

A weed by any other name is still a weed.
-- Gnomeo and Juliet [2011]

I took a Viagra, got stuck in me throat, I've had a stiff neck for hours.
-- Austin Powers in Goldmember [2002]

You look like a hog on ice.
-- True Grit [1969]

Gee, I'm really sorry your mom blew up, Ricky, guess she won't be able to eat any spicy foods for awhile.
-- Better Off Dead [1985]

- Where did you go before? What did you see? What? Tell me what you saw.
- I saw you... I saw you in an orange grove.
-- Identity [2003]

WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

BRAINSSSS... It was revealed this week that a "concerned citizen" had put in a Freedom of Information (FoI) request to Leicester City Council asking if the council was prepared for an attack by zombies. Head of Information Governance Lynn Wyeth commented that "We've had a few wacky ones before but this one did make us laugh," adding that she was unaware of any reference to a zombie attack in the council's emergency plan. The council have also received FoI requests for records of ghosts and haunted buildings within the city. Ed Thurlow, who runs the zombie fan website Terror4Fun felt that a zombie invasion of Leicester was highly unlikely, and that perhaps "Concerned Citizen" had seen films like 28 Days Later a few too many times.

STANDING TALL... On his 18th birthday this week Guinness World Records presented Philippino Junrey Balawing with a certificate confirming him as the world's shortest man. Balawing is 23.6" (59.93cm) tall, and has difficulty walking, but his new-found celebrity should help his impoverished family. According to his father, doctors do not know why he stopped growing - he has three siblings, all of whom are normal height.

TWIN PEAKS! Austrian federal realtors Bundesimmobilingesellschaft have put two 6,500ft (2,600m) mountain peaks in the Carnic Alps up for sale. There's a catch though - potential buyers willing to splash out the minimum €121k (£107k, US$170k) are being told that they cannot fence off any part of the mountains or deny climbers' right of way. Locals aren't too happy either - one of the peaks holds a World War I memorial. At time of reporting, 20 people had placed bids, anyone else has until July 8.

FLUSHED! When news broke of possible forged money in circulation on the Scottish Isle of Lewis, one businessman was so angry he took the wad of £20 (US$32) notes his bank had returned to him as fakes, tore them up and flushed them down the toilet. Unfortunately it later emerged that it was a false alarm and the notes were all genuine. Not surprisingly, he didn't want to be named, but was actively seeking compensation.

BLAME GETAFIX... German scientists have made a detail analysis of all the books featuring cartoon hero Asterix the Gaul to study the various injuries received. While many of those who were knocked out were left with their tongues sticking out or amnesia, nobody actually seemed to die. Writing without a trace of irony in the official journal of the European Association of Neurological Societies, the researchers express surprise at this as "outcome of traumatic brain injury in the ancient world is believed to have been worse than today and also since no diagnostic or therapeutic procedures were performed." Asterix the Gaul, a cartoon book and comic strip series aimed at children, was first published in 1959. Perhaps someone needs to tell the Germans...

ENTERTAINMENT BRIEFS

Lady Gaga heads list of best-paid celebs under 30. Online radio service Pandora floats on NYSE, valued around US$3bn (£1.8bn). E Street Band saxophonist Clarence Clemons hospitalised after major stroke. Tamsin Greig to play former Greenham Common protester at Royal Court. NYC benefit concert featuring Black Eyed Peas, Debbie Harry et al. forced to be cancelled by thunderstorms. Spider-Man Broadway musical finally opens to at-best average reviews, faces unpaid royalties claim by original director. Michael Morpurgo wins third Red House children's book award, for Shadow. War Horse (based on Morpurgo novel) wins five Tony Awards; South Park creators' musical The Book of Mormon wins nine. Super 8 tops US box office ahead of X-Men: First Class and The Hangover Part II. Portrait of a Carmelite Monk, previously attributed to Rubens but reattributed to Van Dyck, to be auctioned in London next month, guide price £600k-800k (US$970k-1.3m). Kevin O'Hare appointed director of Royal Ballet. TV satire The Comic Strip Presents... to be revived for one-off depicting Tony Blair as a fugitive. Wim Heldens wins 2011 BP Portrait Award after painting the same sitter 17 times across 20 years. Shrek musical opens in London despite fire in nearby theatre. Bond franchise producter Barbara Broccoli accepts damages for libel over charity funding from Daily Mail group. Arts Fund names British Museum as Museum of the Year. Stanley Spencer's Sunflower and Dog Worship auctions for £4.7m (US7.6m), over three times estimate. Entertainer Bruce Forsyth knighted after years of campaigning by fans; Colin Firth made CBE, Bryan Ferry MBE, Jenni Murray and Janet Suzman dames, Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor OBEs (fellow Goodie Bill Oddie was awarded OBE in 2003), and Bernard Cribbins OBE. BBC puts Television Centre up for sale. Auction of drawings by Paul McCarney pulled over ownership dispute. The Dambusters remake to rename Guy Gibson's dog as 'Digger'. UK House of Commons to debate use of wild animals in circuses with possibility of ban vote. BBC confirms that renewal of Sherlock will mean less Doctor Who next year as co-creator/writer Steven Moffat is Who's showrunner. Sony Pictures launch legal fight for raw footage from Michael Jackson's This Is It. BBC Trust forces BBC News to apologise over "more likely than not" faked Panorama child labour footage. 85-year-old Hugh Hefner's 25-year-old fiancée Crystal Harris calls off wedding. Goldie Hawn in talks for return to TV. Diandra Douglas loses claim to half of ex-husband Michael's earnings from Wall Street 2. Russell Crowe in talks for Jor-El role in Superman film. Obits: film producer Laura Ziskin (61), singer Carl Gardner (83), cinematographer Gunnar Fischer (100).

WEBSITE OF THE WEEK

Where can you find a petrified banana, the world's longest feather boa, poisonous frogs, toilets and barbed wire? Well, not actually in one place, so far as we know, but they all have museums dedicated to them, and this week's site lists some of the weirdest and wackyest museums of the world, including the Smoking Museum in Belgium, where you can't actually smoke, the museum dedicated to things removed from people's stomachs and (so far as we know) the only museum dedicated to phalluses...
http://hubpages.com/hub/Weird-wacky-museum-of-the-world

THE AMAZING NOT-QUITE-RANDOM LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:
18, 29, 39, 41, 43, 48

AND FINALLY...

It was Little Jennifer's bath night and her mother was washing her hair. "Why, Little Jennifer, your hair's got long. I think we ought to take you to the hairdresser again this week," her mother commented.

Came the reply, "Well perhaps if you stopped watering it..."

...end of line

Friday 17 June	-	King Edward I of England born, 1239. Shogun Ahikaga Yoshiteru died, 1565. Sir Francis Drake claimed Nova Albion (present-day California) for England, 1579. John Kay, inventor of the flying shuttle, born, 1704. The Statue of Liberty arrived in New York Harbor, 1885. Artist M.C. Escher born, 1898. Artist Edward Burne-Jones died, 1898. The last surviving Dusky Seaside Sparrow died, 1987. Dancer/actress Cyd Charisse died, 2008. World Day to Combat Desertification and Drought.

Saturday 18 June	-	Five monks in Canterbury witness what is thought to have been the formation of the Giordano Bruno crater on the moon, 1178. Poet Gabriello Chiabrera born, 1552. Satirist Tom Brown died, 1704. The Duke of Wellington defeated Napoleon Bonaparte at the Battle of Waterloo, 1815. Publisher E.W. Scripps born, 1854. Author Maxim Gorky died, 1936. Actress Isabella Rossellini born, 1952. Physician Walter C. Alvarez died, 1978. Astronaut Sally Ride became the first American woman in space, aboard STS-7, 1983. International Sushi Day.

Sunday 19 June	-	The first English colony on Roanoke Island was abandoned, 1586. Mathematician Blaise Pascal born, 1623. Engraver Matthäus Merian died, 1650. The Confederate States of America ceased to exist as the last of them was formally readmitted to the United States, 1870. Wallis Simpson, Duchess of Windsor, born, 1896. Comedy writer Barry Took born, 1928. Author J.M. Barrie died, 1937. Actress Laura Sadler died, 2003. Ceremonial laying of the first stone at the Svalbard Global Seed Vault, 2006. Juneteenth (African American). Father's Day.

Monday 20 June	-	The University of Oxford received its charter, 1214. Sculptor Jacques Saly born, 1717. Composer Carl Friedrich Abel died, 1787. Queen Victoria succeeded to the British throne, 1837. Errol Flynn born, 1909. Gangster Bugsy Siegel died, 1947. The "red telephone" between the US and the Soviet Union was established, 1963. Actress Nicole Kidman born, 1967. Inventor and Nobel laureate Jack Kilby died, 2005. World Refugee Day.

Tuesday 21 June	-	Hannibal defeated the Romans at the Battle of Lake Trasimene, 217 BCE. Political writer Niccolò Machiavelli died, 1527. Mathematician James Short born, 1710. Founding of Halifax, Nova Scotia, 1749. Astronomer Jean Chacornac born, 1823. Physicist Anders Jonas Ångström died, 1874. Pakistani politician Benazir Bhutto born, 1953. Musician John Lee Hooker died, 2001. SpaceShipOne became the first privately funded vehicle to achieve spaceflight, 2004. The solstice (Summer in the Northern hemisphere, Winter in the Southern) and longest day.

Wednesday 22 June	-	Judge James Whitelocke died, 1632. The Holy Office in Rome forced Galileo to recant his Sun-centric view of the universe, 1633. Explorer George Vancouver born, 1757. Start of the June Days Uprising in Paris, 1848. Writer H. Rider Haggard born, 1856. Mathematician Felix Klein died, 1925. Actress Emmanuelle Seigner born, 1966. Virgin Atlantic Airways' first flight departed from London Gatwick Airport for Newark, New Jersey, 1984. Entertainer Fred Astaire died, 1987.

Thursday 23 June	-	Ptolemy Caesarion, son of Julius Caesar and Cleopatra born, 47 BCE. Roman emperor Vespasian died, 79. Start of the Battle of Bannockburn, 1314. Poet Mark Akenside died, 1770. Composer Carl Reinecke born, 1824. Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for the typewriter, 1868. The Antarctic Treaty came into force, 1961. Archaeologist Helen Geake born, 1967. TV producer Aaron Spelling died, 2006. United Nations Public Service Day.