ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 9 September		-		The 9-month-old Mary Stuart was crowned "Queen of Scots" in Stirling, 1543. Artist Pieter Breugel the Elder died, 1569. Royal Navy admiral, and mutinied-against captain of HMS Bounty, William Bligh, born, 1754. The Continental Congress gave its union of sovereign states the official name of the "United States", 1776 Novelist Leo Tolstoy born, 1828. Antarctic marine explorer James Weddell died, 1834. Singer Michael Bublé born, 1975. The Unix billenium occured at 01:46:40 UTC, 2001. Nuclear physicist Edward Teller died, 2003. Kiku no Sekku (Chrysanthemum Day) in Japan. Statehood Day in California.
Saturday 10 September		-		John the Fearless, Duke of Burgundy, assassinated, 1419. The Battle of Pinkie Cleugh, the last full-scale pitched battle between England and Scotland, 1547. Composer Henry Purcell born, 1659. Author Mary Wollstonecraft died, 1797. Elias Howe was granted a patent for the sewing machine, 1846. Actress Bessie Love born, 1898. Tenor Peter Anders died, 1954. Photographer Melanie Pullen born, 1975. Charles Ingram cheated his way to £1,000,000 on the British Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, 2001. World Suicide Prevention Day.
Sunday 11 September		-		Henry Hudson discovered Manhattan Island, 1609. Poet James Thomson born, 1700. A British-American peace conference on Staten Island, aimed at ending the American Revolutionary War, failed, 1776. Lens maker Carl Zeiss born, 1816. Nutritionist Sylvester Graham died, 1851. Murderer Dr H.H. Crippen born, 1862. Animator Max Fleischer died, 1972. Actress/artist Ariana Richards born, 1979. The September 11 attacks on New York City and the Pentagon, and the failed attack on Washington D.C. (presumed target), 2001. Swedish MP Anna Lindh assassinated, 2003. Patriot Day in the United States.
Monday 12 September		-		The Battle of Marathon, 490 BCE. Poet Jacob Cats died, 1660. Machine gun pioneer Richard Gatling born, 1818. Poets Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning eloped, 1846. Writer H.L. Mencken born, 1880. Physicist Jules Violle died, 1923. The Flatwoods monster UFO incident in West Virginia, 1952. Actress Emmy Rossum born, 1986. Actor Jeremy Brett died, 1995.
Tuesday 13 September		-		Construction started on Hadrian's Wall, 122. Antiquarian John Leland born, 1502. Writer Michel de Montaigne died, 1592. New York City became the temporary capital of the United States, 1788. Composer Arnold Schoenberg born, 1874. Cartoonist W. Heath Robinson died, 1944. Cricketer Shane Warne born, 1969. Rapper Tupac Shakur died, 1996. As a result of a glitch with new content the Corrupted Blood Incident virtual plague struck Azeroth in World of Warcraft, 2005. Programmers' Day in Russia, and for programmers worldwide.
Wednesday 14 September		-		Author Dante Alighieri died, 1321. Alchemist Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa born, 1486. Composer George Frideric Handel completed the Messiah oratorio, 1741. Naturalist Alexander von Humboldt born, 1769. Poet Francis Scott Key wrote Defence of Fort McHenry, which would later be put to an English drinking song to make The Star-Spangled Banner, 1814. Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington, died, 1852. Groundbreaking ceremony for the United Nations headquarters in New York City, 1948. Singer Amy Winehouse born, 1983. Chef Keith Floyd died, 2009.
Thursday 15 September		-		Robert the Strong, Margrave of Neustria, died, 866. Novelist James Fenimore Cooper born, 1789. Napoleon's French army reached the Kremlin in Moscow, 1812. Charles Darwin arrived at the Galápagos Islands aboard HMS Beagle, 1835. Jumbo, P.T. Barnum's circus elephant, died, 1885. Writer Agatha Christie born, 1890. Jazz musician Steve Brown died, 1965. Model/writer Sophie Dahl born, 1977. In the largest bankruptcy filing in US history, Lehman Brothers filed for Chapter 11, 2008. Battle of Britain Day in the United Kingdom. International Day of Democracy. Start of National Hispanic Heritage Month in the United States.

THE WISDOM OF...

This week, then-mayor of New York City, Rudolph Giuliani, at a press conference, 12 September 2001:

Show your confidence. Show you're not afraid. Go to restaurants. Go shopping.

FILM QUIZ

A bag of quotations with a New York theme. Answers next issue or from the regular address.

• Chapter One. He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion. Eh uh, no, make that he, he romanticized it all out of proportion. Better. To him, no matter what the season was, this was still a town that existed in black and white and pulsated to the great tunes of George Gershwin. Uh, no, let me start this over.
• - There was an accident. About an hour ago, a small jet went down inside New York City. The President was on board.
  - The president of what?
• [..] We've crashed into Central Park and we've taken shelter underneath this bridge. The military has begun bombing the creature and we're caught in the middle. Okay, ready?
• Oh my God. I'm back. I'm home. All the time, it was... We finally really did it. You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!
• - You see those two towers? World Trade Center. I was an architect working on them. First they just wanted to build one but I said, "Fellas, we're here. What the hell, throw the other one up". Turned out pretty well, didn't it?
  - Fantasy.

Last issue's quotations were:

• Your eyes can be so cruel, just as I can be so cruel.
  -- Labyrinth [1986]
• So, we're not getting married but I have to get rid of my pants?
  -- He's Just Not That Into You [2009]
• That boy Elvis sure talks a lot of poon.
  -- Walk the Line [2005]
• There's a monster outside my room, can I have a glass of water?
  -- Signs [2002]
• My brother was more successful at re-inventing himself than I was. Jacey's parties at the University of Pennsylvannia were the hippest ones around. And even though he had a major in architecture, he seriously minored in beautiful coeds.
  -- Inventing the Abbotts [1997]

WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

HIGH! Three office workers in Victoria, Canada, were taken to the E.R. feeling dizzy and disorientated after a colleague brought in some chocolate brownies she had found in her freezer. It turned out that they were laced with cannabis and had been baked by her son, who told police that he had put them there and forgotten about them. The police decided not to charge the woman as there was no criminal intent, but her son was expected to face a community work order. The three colleagues were all released from hospital after a few hours.

DRUNK! Per Johansson, from Gothenburg, Sweden, became concerned after hearing strange noises in his neighbour's garden but got a shock when he investigated - there was a drunken elk stuck in their apple tree, roaring. She had apparently been feasting on fermenting fallen apples and looking for more when she got stuck in a fork in the tree trunk a couple of feet off the ground. Emergency services helped Johansson saw through branches to free the elk, who spent the night recovering in the garden before staggering back into the woods, presumably with a hangover.

MILKING IT! Yvonne the runaway cow (TFIrs passim) has come in from the cold. After escaping from her farm before being sent for slaughter, Yvonne went on the run, evading hunters, anti-hunting groups, police and attempts to lure her back with her calf and a bull, but finally turned up at another farm after apparently hiding out in the woods with a herd of deer while becoming a hot media topic in Germany. Her identity confirmed by her ear tag she was reunited with her calf Weintraub at the animal welfare sanctuary which had bought both of them during her time on the run, and they will now live out their natural lives there. The Gut Aiderbichl sanctuary is hoping that they will bring in more (human) visitors.

...AND MAKE IT SNAPPY! When their village became the target of a crocodile that was witnessed killing a water buffalo and suspected of killing a fisherman in July, locals and experts decided to catch it. After a three-week hunt they succeeded - and got a shock. Mayor Edwin Cox Elorde told reporters "We were nervous but it's our duty to deal with a threat to the villagers. When I finally stood before it, I couldn't believe my eyes." The crocodile was 21-feet (6.4m) long and weighed 2,370lbs (just over 1 metric ton). It took a hundred people to drag it to a clearing where it could be hoisted by crane into a truck and taken to a fenced cage around which the village hopes to build an ecotourism park. The crocodile had destroyed the first four traps set for it, only eventually being snared by a steel cable trap.

...AND THE NEXT CATEGORY IS... The UK Prime Minister's residence is to hold a quiz night fundraiser for Larry, the resident cat. A rescue cat, Larry was brought in after mice were seen in the building and a rat was caught on camera during a TV news report. The quiz will be held in the State Rooms, and may feature a feline-themed round. Number 10 have also revealed that Larry has a girlfriend called Maisie, who lives nearby at the St James' Park keeper's cottage - but Larry having had the snip before arriving at Number 10 there won't be any kittens. A BBC reporter speculated that Maisie could be why Larry spends most nights out - and most days asleep.

ENTERTAINMENT BRIEFS

Former Dior designer John Galliano found guilty of anti-Semitic rants in a Paris restaurant; given suspended fine of €6000 (£4,250, US$8,400). David Walliams' bid to swim 140 miles down the Thames for charity falling behind schedule after the water made him ill. Work starts on new Coronation Street set in Salford MediaCity ahead of move next year. Adele forced to cancel more gigs by severe cold and chest infection. Germany finally lifts ban on 1994 comuter game Doom. Danish cult drama The Killing star Sofie Gråbøl to guest on Absolutely Fabulous 20th anniversary specials. Four rediscovered L.S. Lowry paintings auction for £318,000 (US$508,000). Broadway to mark 9/11 anniversary with mass public performance of New York, New York, as they did on 28 September 2001. Somebody won Celebrity Big Brother, regular non-entities to enter house today. BBC scheduling final series of spy drama Spooks opposite ITV period drama hit Downton Abbey. London Comedy Theatre to be renamed after Harold Pinter. Meryl Streep, Yo-Yo Ma, Neil Diamond, Sonny Rollins to be honoured for cultural contributions at Kennedy Center gala in December. Royal Academy of Arts to hold exhition of David Hockney's landscapes next year. Actor/director George Clooney to attend UK premiere of The Ides of March at BFI London Film Festival. Freesat UK customer base grows past 2m, reports "steady increase" in people moving away from subscription-based satellite broadcaster Sky. Taylor Swift gets five noms at Country Music Awards. PJ Harvey wins second Mercury Prize. Simon Cowell's UK TV game show Red or Black? tightening contestant checks after convicted assaulter wins £1m (US$1.6m). Man Booker Prize shortlist announced ahead of 18 October award. Print book sales down over the summer; print non-fiction up on last year. World Shakespeare Festival to be highlight of 2012 London Cultural Olympiad. Red Hot Chili Peppers top UK album chart. Jonathan Ross ITV chat show debuts to 4.3m (slightly less than final BBC show) audience and lukewarm critical reception. Steven Soderburgh taking a break from film-making, denies retirement rumours. Lil Wayne's tenth album breaks iTunes first-week sales record. Jessie J reveals ankle bone transplant was cause of gig cancellations. Eddie Murphy to host 2012 Oscars. Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong thrown off plane for sagging trousers. London Philharmonic to perform computer game music concert including Angry Birds, WoW and CoD Modern War 2.
Obits: tenor Salvatore Licitra (43), author and Project Gutenberg founder Michael S. Hart (64), jazz drummer Eddie Marshall (73), writer Hugh Fox (79), artist John Hoover (91), film/TV director Charles S. Dubin (92).

WEBSITE OF THE WEEK

You might have noticed a New York theme to this issue, in commemoration of 9/11, 10 years ago this week, but of course there's so much more to New York than that one, tragic, event. This week's site is a travel guide to the city that never sleeps. I ♥ New York (and that logo, in itself has quite a story).

http://www.ilovenewyork.se/default_en.asp
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_love_new_york (The background to the original logo)

THE AMAZING NOT-QUITE-RANDOM LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:

11, 13, 27, 34, 38, 46

AND FINALLY...

   A woman was in the supermarket when she saw another lady pushing a shopping cart with a small girl in the child seat. As they passed the sweets aisle the child said in a loud voice, "Mummy, can I have some chocolate?"

   The mother replied with a firm "No!"

   A little later the woman saw them in the freezer section. "Mummy! Can I have some ice cream?"

   The mother replied with a firm "No!" at which her daughter started crying loudly. Her mother calmly said "Now, Amanda, we're halfway round the store, don't get upset. We'll be out soon," and pushed the trolley onwards.

   The last time the woman saw them, they were in front of her at the checkout, and the girl was reaching for some gum. Her mother stopped her, and said "That's not good for you." Again, the girl started kicking up a fuss. "Calm down, Amanda, we'll be back at the car and home before you know it," her mother said.

   By now the woman was impressed. Tapping the mother on the shoulder she said, "Excuse me, but I've seen you around the store today and I have to say the way you've dealt with Little Amanda here has been exemplary; a lot of parents could learn from you."

   The mother looked at her. "My daughter's name is Jennifer. *I* am Amanda..."