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13 January 2012
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^ WORD OF THE WEEK
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Friday 13 January - Artist Jan van Goyen born, 1596. Poet Edmund Spenser died, 1599. The Bank of Genoa failed after Spain declared national bankruptcy, 1607. Inventor John H.D. Anderson died, 1796. Charicaturist Paul Gavarni born, 1804. Dr William Brydon, the only survivor of an army of 4,500 and 12,000 camp followers, reached a garrison in Jalalabad during the First Anglo-Afghan War, 1842. Actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus born, 1961. Johnny Cash performed a concert at Folsom Prison, 1968. Serial killer Harold Shipman hanged himself in jail, 2004. Saturday 14 January - Roman politician Marcus Antonius born, 83 BCE. The Council of Troyes gave formal approval to the Order of the Templar, 1129. Explorer Odoric died, 1331. Artist Jean-Baptiste van Loo born, 1684. The United States Congress ratified the Treaty of Paris with Great Britain, 1784. Greyfriars Bobby, claimedly loyal dog, died, 1872. Musician Dave Grohl born, 1969. Mathematician Kurt Gödel died, 1978. President Ben Ali fled Tunisia following the Jasmine Revolution, 2011. Sunday 15 January - Coronation of Queen Elizabeth I of England, 1559. Playwright Molière born, 1622. The British Museum opened, 1759. Composer Giovanni Battista Sammartini died, 1775. Frederick Arthur Stanley, Governor General of Canada and ice hockey cup donator, born, 1841. Elizabeth Short, the "Black Dahlia", murdered, 1947. Scottish rugby union footballer Sean Lamont born, 1981. The open wiki encyclopaedia Wikipedia went online, 2001. James Hillier, inventor of the electron microscope, died, 2007. Monday 16 January - The German city of Rungholt was destroyed by a North Sea storm tide, 1362. Bayinnaung, King of Burma, born, 1516. Astronomer Johannes Schöner died, 1547. Publication of the first edition of El ingenioso hidalgo Don Quijote de la Mancha (Don Quixote, Book One), 1605. Artist Lucas Achtschellinck born, 1626. The Scottish Parlament ratified the Act of Union, leading to the creation of Great Britain, 1707. Historian Edward Gibbon died, 1794. Zoologist Dian Fossey born, 1932. Barrister and writer John Mortimer died, 2009. Tuesday 17 January - Giovanni de Verrazzano set sail from Madeira to find a westward route to the Pacific, 1524. Naturalist John Ray died, 1705. Statesman and inventor Benjamin Franklin born, 1706. The Battle of Calderón Bridge in the Mexican War of Independence, 1811. Author Anne Brontë born, 1820. Polymath Sir Francis Galton died, 1911. Actress Zooey Deschanel born, 1980. Astronomer Clyde Tombaugh died, 1997. The Doomsday Clock was set to 23:55 in the wake of North Korean nuclear testing (it has since been set back a minute and - this week - returned to 23:55), 2007. Wednesday 18 January - Byzantine Emperor Leo I the Thracian died, 474. Conquistador Francisco Pizarro founded Lima, the capital of Peru, 1535. Lexicographer Peter Mark Roget born, 1779. The first ships of the First Fleet carrying convicts from England arrived at Botany Bay, Australia, 1788. Thomas Watson, assistant to Alexander Graham Bell and recipient of the first telephone call, born, 1854. Author Edward George Bulwer-Lytton died, 1873. Actress Jane Horrocks born, 1964. Writer Kathleen Norris died, 1966. Airbus unveiled the A380, the world's largest commercial jet aircraft, 2005. Thursday 19 January - Dagobert I, King of the Franks, died, 639. King Henry V of England completed his reconquest of Normandy with the surrender of Rouen, 1419. Playwright William Congreve died, 1729. Inventor James Watt born, 1736. Premiere performance of Verdi's opera Il Trovatore, 1853. Filmmaker Stanley Hawes born, 1905. Violinist Michael Rabin died, 1972. Formula One racing driver Jensen Button born, 1980. ©Brain, the first MS-DOS virus released into the wild, started infecting personal computers 1986.
This week, Laurie Colwin, in Home Cooking:A world without tomatoes is like a string quartet without violins.
A mixed bag of quotations. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were:
- The contents of your survival kit is... one pair of nylons, five condoms, one .45 caliber pistol with two magazines, $200 in gold coins, 2 packs of chewing gum, one miniature bible and combination Russian phrase book... OOOOOWEEE, a feller could have a pretty good time in Vegas with all that!
- Sorry to scare you, ma'm, thought you was a cowjacker.
- This isn't part of my program! I'm a doctor, not a doorstop.
- Central Intelligence Agency... Now, there's a contradiction in terms.
- I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne. Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the birds in the sky...
- I don't know much about boats, but I'd say that one's upside down.
-- Cowboys & Aliens [2011]- I wouldn't recommend the Tokay, gentlemen, it's corked.
-- The Golden Compass [2007]- The first boy I ever kissed ended up in a coma for three weeks. I can still feel him inside my head. It's the same with you.
-- X-Men [2000]- - This is STILL the United States of America, god damn it! Los Angeles, California! Land of the free, home of the...
- Rams and the Dodgers!
-- Mother, Jugs & Speed [1976]- You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'.
-- Inglorious Basterds [2009]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
SLIP SLIDING AWAY... The latest extreme sport is, apparently, volcano boarding. No, sadly, it doesn't involve trying to cover over active craters with lengths of 2x4, it's sliding down the rocky slope of - at the moment - the Cerro Negro volcano in Nicaragua on homemade toboggans. With the 41° slope the current speed record is 54mph. Cerro Negro, a 2,400 foot-high conical volcano last erupted in 1999, and there's an early warning system in place to get boarders off the slopes before any lava, ash or pyroclastic flows give them an extra speed boost...
TO BOLDLY SWEAR WHERE NO MAN HAS SWORN BEFORE. It's emerged that NASA was so concerned about its astronauts (whose almost-every word was broadcast) swearing that it turned to hypnotism to temper the language of one man in particular. Officially, NASA are reticent about naming the astronaut, but it's known that he was "reprogrammed" to hum whenever his mind wandered and he was likely to swear, and of the known transmissions, only one featured a lot of humming - those of Pete Conrad, the third man to step foot on the moon, recordings of whom are punctuated with "dum de dum dum dum" and "dum do do, do do"s.
CHUPACABRA? A Tucson, Arizona, meteorologist believes he may have captured the mythical chupacabra on film. The creature, whose name translates as "goat sucker" is believed to prey on goats and other livestock with unconfirmed sightings stretching from Puerto Rico to the southwestern USA. Cryptozoologists, however, believe that the chupacabras are more likely to be coyotes suffering from a hair-loss-causing skin disease, and that is exactly what the latest photographs appear to show.
WHAT'S IN A NAME? When Madison, Wisconsin, police arrested a 30-year-old man on charges of carrying a concealed weapon, possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalis and violation of parole, after complaints of "excessive drinking and drugs use" from his neighbours, they were somewhat surprised and quite possibly amused when he gave them his name. Zopittybob-Bop-Bop legally changed his name from Jeffrey Wilschke, and - according to his apparent Facebook profile - enjoys eating, walking, standing, thinking and, er, "diamond." He's also single, ladies...
HOLD THIS... London police are searching for a would-be bank robber who tried to raid a branch of the Halifax bank in Cheapside, London, pointing a gun at a cashier and demanding £700,000 ($1.07m) in cash, but then, rather than handing the cashier his bag for the money, gave her his gun. When he realised his mistake he attempted to grab the gun back, but the security shutters came down and the robber - wearing sunglasses and a flat cap, fled, stealing a bank worker's bicycle to make his getaway. "This man is not the sharpest tool in the box," a police spokesman commented, as CCTV of the man entering the building was released. The Halifax have posted a £25,000 ($38,300) reward for information.
UK Royal Mail issues set of Roald Dahl commemorative stamps featuring Quentin Blake's illustrations. London's Charles Dickens museum marks 200th anniversary of his birth by closing for a revamp; will also be shut during Cultural Olympiad. Black Sabbath's Tony lommi [sic] undergoing treatment for lymphoma. UK High Court rules against Justice Secretary over BBC right to broadcast interview with terrorism supect detained without trial for seven years. Netflix launches in UK; declines to set targets in face of competition from already-established Sky and Lovefilm. The Blue Lagoon, Stephen King's Carrie latest films to get remakes; rumours of an original idea sighted in Hollywood dismissed as hoax. With The Artist tipped to sweep Oscars, campaign underway to get nomination for canine actor Uggie (who already has a Palm Dog); Academy defiant. The 60th anniversary of the late Douglas Adams' birth in March to be marked with one-off show at Hammersmith Apollo including Clive Anderson, Michael Palin, Stephen Fry and Professor Brian Cox; proceeds to go to Save the Rhino, which Adams supported. Ed Sheeran leads Brit Awards nominations ahead of Jessie J. High Commission of India formally complains over BBC Top Gear India special. Velvet Underground suing Andy Warhol Foundation over licensing of Warhol-designed banana image from their debut album cover. Catherine Deneuve to receive Chaplin Award. BBC to adapt Philippa Gregory's War of the Roses novels, Julia Donaldson's Room on the Broom; also announce Denis Lawson to replace James Bolam in New Tricks and Sean Bean to play transsexual in next series of Jimmy McGovern's Accused. Six page letter written by Beethoven discovered in Germany. Chris O'Dowd, Thor stars Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston among nominees for Bafta Rising Star award. New Hatchet Job of the Year award to reward "angriest, funniest, most trenchant" book review. William Shatner heading to Broadway with two-hour monologue show. UK govt report expected to call for films to be more "mainstream" to receive lottery funding; critics say this would have ruled out The King's Speech and other on-paper unlikely hit films. Placido Domingo, Simon Rattle share Israeli Wolf Prize. David Tennant, June Whitfield among nominees for debut BBC Audio Drama Awards. Kim Novak criticises use of Bernard Hermann's Love Theme from Hitchcock's Vertigo in The Artist; presumably didn't see any of the other films it's been used in. Picasso's Woman's Head stolen from Athens National Gallery. New York City Opera warns that closure may be unavoidable if pay talks keep stalling. War Horse gets royal premiere in UK, divides critics. Nelson Mandela biopic miniseries in pre-production at UK companies. Mockumentary The Devil Inside tops US box office ahead of Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol. Adele's 21 returns to top of UK album chart, now held position for 19 non-contiguous weeks. US National Society of Film Critics named Lars Von Trier's Melancholia best film of 2011; star Kirsten Dunst best actress. HMV, already facing restructuring, reports Christmas sales in remaining shops down 8.1% on like-for-like with last year. Katy Perry takes five People's Choice Awards, but is no-show for ceremony, instead thanking fans via Twitter. Obits: Strictly Come Dancing (Dancing With the Stars) creator Richard Hopkins (47), pianist Alexis Weissenberg(82), TV host Bob Holness (83), actress Denise Darcel (87).
Every so often we hear about a press release from NASA announcing the launch of a probe or the discovery of something. This week's site is the NASA Science site, where you can find out just what they're doing and what they've found out about the Earth, the Sun, the planets and space, though probably not how to hypnotise astronauts...http://www.nasascience.nasa.gov/
^ THE AMAZING NOT-QUITE-RANDOM LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:4, 6, 15, 39, 45, 49
Little Jennifer's teacher was trying to explain to her class the concept that blood circulates around the body. "OK, children, suppose I stood on my head, well the blood would rush into it and my face would go red."
The class gave the impression of understanding this. "So, why is it that when I'm standing up normally the blood doesn't rush to my feet and turn them red?" she asked.
While the rest of the class were thinking about this, one hand shot up, much to the teacher's immediate anxiety. "Yes, Little Jennifer?"
"Your feet aren't empty, Miss?"