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3 February 2012
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^ WORD OF THE WEEK
barmpot |
Friday 3 February - Printer/publisher Johannes Gutenberg died, 1468. Tulip mania led to the financial collapse of the United Provinces (today's Netherlands), 1637. Composer Pietro Antonio Fiocco born, 1654. Spain recognised the independence of the United States following the American Revolutionary War, 1783. Pioneering physician Elizabeth Blackwell born, 1821. Outlaw Belle Starr died, 1889. Actor Warwick Davis born, 1970. Actor Al Lewis died, 2006. The last remaining blocks of IPv4 internet addresses were distributed to regional authorities, 2011. Setsubun in Japan. Saturday 4 February - Roman emperor Septimius Severus died, 211. Poet Nicolaus Rey born, 1505. George Washington was elected as the first President of the United States, 1789. Writer Almeida Garrett born, 1799. Discovery of the Codex Sinaiticus in Egypt, 1859. Musical instrument maker Adolphe Sax died, 1894. Filmmaker George A. Romero born, 1940. Singer Karen Carpenter died, 1983. Social networking site Facebook was founded, 2004. World Cancer Day. Sunday 5 February - An earthquake struck Pompeii, Italy, 62. Robert Peel, Prime Minister of the UK and creator of the modern Police force, born, 1788. Founding of the Hermitage Museum in Saint Petersburg, Russia, 1852. Historian Thomas Carlyle died, 1881. Astrologer Russell Grant born, 1951. Actress Jennifer Jason Lee born, 1962. Actor Dean Jagger died, 1991. 23 Chinese cockle-pickers died after being trapped by rising tides in Morecambe Bay, England, 2004. Author Brian Jacques died, 2011. Monday 6 February - Mathematician Mario Bettinus born, 1582. Landscape gardener Capability Brown died, 1783. British naval forces defeated the French at the Battle of San Domingo, 1806. Actor Sir Henry Irving born, 1838. The United States Senate ratified the Treaty of Paris, 1899. Artist Gustav Klimt died, 1918. Comedian Leslie Crowther born, 1933. New England was hit by the Blizzard of 1978, 1978. Singer Falco died, 1998. Waitangi Day in New Zealand. Tuesday 7 February - Statesman Sir Thomas More born, 1478. The bonfire of the vanities in Florence, Italy, 1497. Composer Gregorio Allegri died, 1652. Writer Charles Dickens born, 1812. Novelist Ann Radcliffe died, 1823. The start of Émile Zola's trial for libel over the publication of J'Accuse, 1898. Actress Tina Majorino born, 1985. The signing of the Maastricht Treaty, 1992. Magician Doug Henning died, 2000. Wednesday 8 February - The Mongols burned the Russian city of Vladimir, 1238. Mary, Queen of Scots executed for involvement in the Babington Plot, 1587. Poet Samuel Butler born, 1612. The Devil's Footprints appeared in south Devon, England, 1855. Entomologist Agostino Bassi died, 1856. Actress Dame Edith Evans born, 1888. The last crew of the Skylab space station returned to Earth, 1974. Professional surfer and shark attack survivor Bethany Hamilton born, 1990. Model Anna Nicole Smith died, 2007. Thursday 9 February - Artist Gerhard Douw died, 1675. Philosopher and revolutionary Thomas Paine born, 1737. The Habsburg Empire joined with the Russians in the Russo-Turkish War, 1788. Novelist Fyodor Dostoyevsky died, 1881. Actor Ronald Colman born, 1891. Establishment of the Davis Cup tennis competition, 1900. The Beatles made their first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, 1964. Model Amber Valletta born, 1974. Frisbee inventor Walter Frederick Morrison died, 2010.
This week, Linton Weeks:In the nonstop tsunami of global information, librarians provide us with floaties and teach us how to swim.
A mixed bag of quotations. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were:
- Sorry, girls, no monsters. Beautiful people can pass, but monsters... no. Do you understand? Look, your faces... ugh!... offend my mirror.
- In the name of the father, the son and the holy goat. Er... ghost.
- Excuse me? Am I being flirted with by a psychotic rat?
- We've been over, and over, and over this, first you say you can't commit, and then... would you come down from there?
- - Squirt? I'm a king.
- Not in this world.
- You can stop trying to read my mind, sugar. You're never going to get anything from me while I'm like this.
-- X-Men: First Class [2011]- Every shadow no matter how deep is threatened by morning light.
-- The Fountain [2006]- Sorry, I've just got one question: Whose map is Britain using when it completely ignores the United Nations and decides to invade Iraq? [..] Or do you think it's more diplomatic to bend to the will of a superpower and politely take part in Vietnam the Sequel?
-- The Constant Gardener [2005]- [Last words] What a beautiful place... to be with friends.
-- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 [2010]- Remember boy, when it comes to women, you're never too old for humiliation.
-- My Week With Marilyn [2011]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
AVERTING A CATASTROPHE... Air Canada Flight 603 was scheduled to leave Halifax, Nova Scotia, at 5:40am on a late-January day but ended up being delayed for almost five hours after a cockpit 'invasion'. One of the passengers had a cat in a travel cage, and put the cage down to load their bags into the overhead storage, at which point the cage door accidentally opened, the cat got out and made straight for the cockpit, where it - named Ripples - hid, somehow getting into the control system. A maintenance crew were called out "to disassemble parts of the flight deck to reach the cat", and eventually retrieved it and return Ripples to its owner. The avionics cockpit system was then carefully put back together and tested, before the plane took off at about 10am for an otherwise uneventful flight to Toronto.
GOING TO THE POLES... Italian politics is... interesting. First (at least in the last year) there was ex-PM Silvio Berlusconi's 'bunga-bunga' goings-on, now two of the candidates to be mayor of the town of Taranto, porn actresses Amandha Fox and Luana Borgia have arranged for a pole-dancing night to, er, discuss election issues with their voters. It's not known if any of the other candidates will be taking part.
GREAT CHIEFTAIN O' THE PUDDIN'-RACE, Y'ER KNICKED! Somebody - probably a student - placed a 4-foot (1.2m)-long papier-maché haggis, wearing a pink kilt and painted with an "honest sonsie face" on a luggage rack in a train at Kirkcaldy in Fife, Scotland last week, from where it travelled 114 miles across Scotland to Inverness; during the journey passengers had discovered it and raised the alarm. Station staff failed to see the funny side and called British Transport Police who took the haggis (complete with label reading 'this haggis needs friends') into custody.
BOLDY GOING. 17-year-old Candian students Mathew Ho and Asad Muhammad have achieved what almost nobody outside of government space agencies have achieved. They have put a man into space. Admittedly he was only about an inch (2.5cm) or so tall, and made of plastic, but it's quite an accomplishment nonetheless. They ordered a weather balloon online, and made a Styrofoam spacecraft fitted with four cameras and a GPS-equipped cellphone, plus a nylon parachute sewn together on Mr Muhammad's mother's sewing machine. Then they consulted weather data to estimate a landing zone, filled the balloon with helium from a party supply store and launched the astro-lego-naut from a soccer pitch in Newmarket, Ontario. When it reached four miles in altitude the phone went out of range, and both it and the GPS signal were lost, so the duo went home - reportedly to make dumplings, but Ho's iPad sounded an alarm that it had picked up the signal again and they tracked the Lego man to a field 75 miles away. Footage from the camera clearly shows the figurine - holding a Canadian flag, of course - with both the curvature of the Earth and the blackness of space behind it; it's estimated that it reached around 15 miles' altitude.
ARRESTED, YOU WILL BE. Would-be Jedi David Canterbury ran amok in an Oregon Toys R Us store last December, wielding dual toy Star Wars lightsabers. Then when he realised that police had arrived he attacked them with the lightsabers, even successfully deflecting a stun gun dart, until he was finally overpowered and arrested. He was later given a 45-day jail sentence for assault and resisting arrest, and submitted for a mental health evaluation. [Assuming they were the same as the lightsaber I got late last year they're seriously cool, even down to the power-up/power-down and whooshing noises... -Ed :D ]
Shakira receives "Chevalier De L'Ordre des Arts et des Lettres" cultural medal from France. UK cinema takings passed £1bn ($1.5bn) for the first time last year, partly due to inflated prices for 3D films. Visions of Ecstacy, the only film to be banned in the UK for blasphemy, finally gets uncut 18 certificate after 23 years. Fox confirms Julian Assange to guest star on The Simpsons. Shirley MacLaine to join Downton Abbey in third season. Scrubs writers penning US pilot based on Only Fools and Horses. London's West End theatres report eighth consecutive annual increase in ticket sales; presumably this year's takings will be down with many shows set to close during the Olympics. Danny DeVito to make West End debut alongside Rachel Griffiths in Neil Simon's The Sunshine Boys. Sky's Anytime+ catchup service to include BBC iPlayer later this year. The Grey tops US Box office ahead of Underworld: Awakening and One For the Money. The Help takes best cast, best actress and best supporting actress at SAG awards; The Artist only took best actor. Happy Mondays' original line-up to reunite in May. David Tennant picks up best actor BBC audio drama award for Kafka: The Musical. Beasts of the Southern Wild wins grand jury drama prize at Sundance. Legendary radio show Desert Island Discs turns 70. Kate Winslet to receive honorary Cesar award. Trainer Omar von Muller announces that Uggie the Dog (The Artist) is to retire, possibly after the Oscars ceremony. Michael Morpurgo's book War Horse sold more copies in a fortnight in the UK than it did worldwide in the 25 years since first publication, thanks to the Spielberg film. Terry Jones confirms surviving Monty Python stars to reunite to voice a group of aliens in a CGI film. Jack White to release solo album in April. Adele to give first public performance since last November's throat surgery, at Grammy awards. Steve Jones, Nicole Scherzinger leaving US X Factor. Madonna's message to fans complaining about high cost of tour tickets: "Start saving [..] I'm worth it." Obits: actor Colin Tarrant (59), TV host Don Cornelius (75), actor Ian Abercrombie (77), author Don Starkell (79), composer Clare Fischer (83), tv director John Rich (86), opera singer Camilla Williams (92).
There's not much we can say to add to this... it's 25 Abandoned Yugoslavia Monuments That Look Like They're From the Future.http://www.cracktwo.com/2011/04/25-abandoned-soviet-monuments-that-look.html
^ THE AMAZING NOT-QUITE-RANDOM LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:4, 6, 15, 39, 45, 49
Little Jennifer's grandfather had flown in that lunchtime for a visit, and the family were enjoying afternoon tea and cake. Little Jennifer looked thoughtful, then she carefully put down her slice of cake, looked at her grandfather and asked him "Grandaddy, do you know how to croak?"
Her grandfather smiled. "Why, yes, I do, Little Jennifer. When I was your age my family lived near a pond with a lot of frogs in it. Why?"
"Because before he went to get you from the airport, Daddy told Mummy that when you croak, he'll get a lot of money..."