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Issue #339 - 22 June 2012
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^ WORD OF THE WEEK
Fernticle |
Friday 22 June - Astronomer and mathematician Ghiyath al-Kashi died, 1429. Galileo was forced to recant his solar-centric theory of the Universe, 1633. Explorer James Vancouver born, 1757. The poisonous cloud released by an eruption of the Laki volcano in Iceland reached Le Havre in France, 1783. Writer H. Rider Haggard born, 1856. Mathematician Felix Klein died, 1925. US TV presenter Carson Daly born, 1973. Checkpoint Charlie in Berlin was dismantled, 1990. Comedian George Carlin died, 2008. Saturday 23 June - Roman Emperor Vespasian died, 79. In a mutiny aboard his fourth voyage Henry Hudson, his son and seven crew members were set adrift in an open boat in what is now Hudson Bay, 1611. Orientalist Etienne Fourmont born, 1683. Physicist Wilhelm Eduard Weber died, 1891. Founding of the International Olympic Committee in Paris, 1894. Mathematician and computer pioneer Alan Turing born, 1912. The Antarctic Treaty came into effect, 1961. Singer K.T. Tunstall born, 1975. Actor Peter Falk died, 2011. Sunday 24 June - The 25 mile (40km)-long aqueduct the Aqua Traiana between Lake Bracciano and Rome was inaugurated, 109. The Scots under Robert the Bruce defeated the English at the Battle of Bannockburn, 1314. Lucrezia Borgia died, 1519. Robert Dudley, 1st Earl of Leicester and favourite of Queen Elizabeth I of England, born, 1533. Philologist Pieter Burmann the Younger died, 1778. Poet Arseny Tarkovsky born, 1907. Kenneth Arnold made the first widely-reported UFO sighting near Mount Rainier, WA, 1947. Comedian Tony Hancock died, 1968. Cricketer Stuart Broad born, 1986. Monday 25 June - Playwright John Marston died, 1593. Elena Cornaro Piscopia became the first woman to be awarded a doctorate of philosophy, by the University of Padua, 1678. Architect Antoni Gaudí born, 1852. The Battle of the Little Bighorn and the death of Lt Colonel George Armstrong Custer, 1876. Louis Mountbatten, 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma, born, 1900. First publication of The Diary of a Young Girl (aka The Diary of Anne Frank), 1947. Actress Linda Cardellini born, 1975. Photographer Philippe Halsman died, 1979. Tuesday 26 June - Conquistador Francisco Pizarro assassinated, 1541. Baku surrendered to the Russian forces besieging it, 1723. Co-inventor of the hot air balloon Joseph-Michel Montgolfier died, 1810. Painter and poet Branwell Brontë born, 1817. London's Science Museum came into being as an independent institution, 1909. Writer Laurie Lee born, 1914. The Universal Product Code ('barcode') was scanned at a point of sale for the first time, 1974. Baseball player Derek Jeter born, 1974. Journalist Veronica Guerin murdered, 1996. Wednesday 27 June - King Louis XII of France born, 1462. Artist Giorgio Vasari died, 1574. Start of the Siege of Quebec by British troops under General James Wolfe, 1759. Mathematician Sophie Germain died, 1831. Deaf and blind activist Helen Keller born, 1880. The Battleship Potemkin uprising, 1905. The Palestine Liberation Organisation hijacked Air France Flight 139, redirecting it to Entebbe, Uganda, 1976. Actress India de Beaufort born, 1987. Bounty hunter Domino Harvey died, 2005. Thursday 28 June - Coronation of Edward IV as King of England, 1461. Cartographer Abraham Ortelius died, 1598. Philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau born, 1712. James Madison, 4th President of the United States, died, 1836. Adolphe Sax was granted a patent for the saxophone in Paris, 1846. Composer Richard Rodgers born, 1902. TV scriptwriter Rod Serling died, 1975. Actress Felicia Day born, 1979. The Coalition Provisional Authority handed sovereign power to the interim government of Iraq, 2004.
This week, Robert M. Pirsig, in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance:You are never dedicated to something that you have complete confidence in. No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it's going to rise tomorrow. When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kind of dogmas or goals, it's always beacuse these dogmas or goals are in doubt.
A mixed bag of quotations. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were:
- I believe the most rational mind can play tricks in the dark.
- We will never be apart. We may be at each other's throats or we may be separated by 5,000 miles, but we'll never be apart.
- Mr. Musgrave, please don't interrupt me when I'm asking rhetorical questions.
- Here's a rather long record. I hope I'm here at the end of it.
- You know, for a crazy homeless person... he's pretty cut.
- Check it out, Fart-Shoes!
-- The Muppets [2011]- I don't want your water breaking. We just had the upholstery cleaned.
-- Junebug [2005]- I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me.
-- Matilda [1996]- Tell your dog not to worry, sooner or later we all lose our balls.
-- Marley & Me [2008]- You barbaric piece of pulp fiction!
-- Inkheart [2008]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
FOOD EMERGENCY! When Rother McLennon from Connecticutt phoned an order for 14 sandwiches then went to collect them he didn't like the way they had been assembled, and the owner refused to take them back, so McLennon dialled 911 and told the dispatcher that he wasn't just complaining about the sandwiches but about how future sandwiches might not be made to his specifications. "They are playing games with me, so I was just wondering if you could come by," he said. Some time after the Police Department publicised his misuse of the emergency number McLennan had apologised to deli owner Tila Azinheira and said he would be coming back for more sandwiches in future.
ONE POT OF HONEY, TWO POTS OF HONEY... Doctor Jennifer Vonk, a psychology professor who has been heading a research team looking into bears' intelligence has revealed that black bears have demonstrated an ability to count, with bears using touch screens to choose between two different sets of dots and rewarded with food for selecting the one with more dots for one bear or, for two other bears, fewer dots - dot size, pattern, background and mobility was varied. Bears have the largest relative brain size of any carnivores, but research into their intelligence had been limited before this study.
JUST BUY A BELT! A cautionary tale for men in Ohio who wear sagging trousers - pull them up if you are in a law court. Judge Mark Mihok has had three men arrested in the last month for courtroom dress code violations with the latest offender being sent to jail for three days as a result of approaching the bench on behalf of a friend facing a traffic violation, then walking back to his seat giving the judge a glimpse of his underwear above his sagging trousers. "They're all adults who come into this court, so they should know how to dress themselves at this point," Mihok said.
CONES ON THE ROAD! The M25 orbital road around London is notorious for traffic problems, but one enterprising ice cream seller stuck in a traffic jam near Chertsey, Surrey, on a sweltering afternoon recently took advantage of the situation and opened his ice cream van for business. Fraser Simms, 40, another driver stuck nearby told reporters "I was stunned when I saw what he was doing. All the traffic had come to a halt and it was roasting hot. Good on him - he got a good 20 minutes of trade."
SHAFTED... a Michigan man is recovering after shooting himself in a very sensitive area. The 45-year-old heating contractor was getting ready for work at a job in Birmingham, MI, when he adjusted the position of the .40 calibre Glock pistol he kept in his trousers, accidentally discharging it and shooting himself in the penis. Deputy Police Chief Mark Clemence told reporters that the bullet went through the organ and out of his trousers on the other side. "The situation could have been a lot worse. [..] your femoral artery runs down there. He could have shot it off. [..] It's a big bullet; you're not talking a small bullet." A coworker who witnessed the accident drove the man to hospital. Although the man had a permit to carry the gun the city prosecutor will decide whether to charge him with reckless discharge of a firearm.
IN BRIEF. Pollutants causing carnivorous plants to eat fewer insects. South Dakota man sentenced to life in prison for murdering former high school classmate over prank pulling of a jock strap over the killer's head 50 years ago. Italian holidaymakers cut off by Devon tide dial number on Boots (a pharmacy chain) till receipt to get help; pharmacists notes where they are and calls 999; coastguard helicopter lifts them off rocks. Man goes berserk in nail salon after being told they were closing for the day and couldn't give him a pedicure. Student thrown out of library by police, banned, for studying too much and interrupting staff. Miles-wide mushroom cloud forms over Beijing. Argentine widow moves into husband's tomb. New hollow earth expedition trying to raise funds to find entrance inside Arctic Circle. Woman blames satnav for driving her car into golf course bunker; charged with drunk-driving amongst other things. Mammoth graveyard discovered at prospective open-cast coal mine in Serbia. Russian police chief steals plane for drunken joyride. Voyager 1 probe believed to be at very edge of Solar System and nearing interstellar space. Pensioner builds model of Odeon cinema in his bedroom; would like to donate it to museum but it's too big to get out of the room. Woman knocked out in Tesco when another customer's champagne bottle drops to floor and cork blows out. Student makes record attempt by bouncing on space hopper for 4 miles in less than 24 hours. Band called 4am prompt licensing authority/police callout after pub advertises "live music from 4am". Craters shaped like Mickey Mouse's head & ears found on Mercury. Scientists predict that at some point in the far future time will just stop. Playing music to pigs makes them fatter, apparently. German 'forest boy' [TFIrs passim] revealed to be Dutch hoax after police issue photo. US teen survives relatively unhurt after being accidentally shot in the head with a diving spear [cf. Phineas Gage].
Stage collapse ahead of Toronto Radiohead gig kills drum technician. Dutch entrepreneur claiming to be planning to set up Big Brother on Mars thought to be a hoax. Sebastian Barry wins Walter Scott Prize For Historical Fiction for On Canaan's Side. UK Adverting Watchdog bans Nike Twitter campaign. No change in top 3 UK box office films: Prometheus at #1, Men in Black 3 #2, Snow White and the Huntsman #3; highest new entry Rock of Ages at #4. Fast Girls, British-made feel-good sports drama about a female relay team in training - forbidden by the International Olympic Committee from using either the word "Olympics" or the year "2012" - debuts at #8. Peinture (Etoile Bleue) sets new auction record for paintings by Joan Miro, selling for £23.5m ($36.7m). After Marcus Mumford break hand, guest guitarist and drummer to perform with Mumford and Sons at European gigs. BBC Director General admits to mistakes in coverage of Diamond Jubilee, mostly concerning the river pageant. Two days before the London 2012 Festival (despite the name it's a national arts festival) starts, only half the tickets have been sold, and a fifth of the 10m free tickets taken up. Disney animates original sketches for Mickey Mouse predecessor Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. Sherlock, lead Benedict Cumberbatch pick up US Critics' Choice TV Awards. West End musical version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to open next year. Danny Baker writing new teatime TV Muppets show for BBC/Henson. Eurozone countries hit by economic problems show significant falls in cinema takings. Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted and Prometheus hold US #1/#2 spots, Rock of Ages at #3. Cherl Cole's Call My Name enter UK singles chart at #1, fasting-selling single of 2012. Jack Osbourne diagnosed with MS. Queen's Birthday Honours list includes knighthoods for Kenneth Branagh & Richard Stilgoe, OBEs for Jenny Agutter, Kwame Kwei-Armah, Jean Marsh, Armando Iannucci, Gary Barlow & choir master Gareth Malone, CBEs for Mary Berry, Susan Hill, Judith Kerr & Kate Winslet, MBEs for Beeban Kidron & Amanda Redman. David Dimbleby to sail around Britain for BBC series on the cultural influence of the sea. Israeli authors taking battle against discount book sellers to Knesset. Dallas reboot is US ratings winner, if not with critics. Bob Seger, Ne-Yo, Bette Midler inducted into US Songwriters Hall of Fame. Johnny Depp, Vanessa Paradis announce separation. The Voice UK Live tour cancelled after poor ticket sales. Nicole Scherzinger confirmed as judge for next UK X Factor. HBO apologises, re-edits Game of Thrones season 1 finale after fake head on spike resembling George W. Bush was included. Obits: actress Yvette Wilson (48), actor & Flying Pickets singer Brian Hibbard (65), actress Susan Tyrell (67), actress Caroline John (72), actor Richard Lynch (76), jazz guitarist Rune Gustafsson (78), actor Victor Spinetti (82), actor Anthony Bate (84), writer Gitta Sereny (91).
We like maps, both real and fictional, but not as obsessively as this guy. Jerry has been working on creating the same map for about 50 years. It's about a third the size of a baseball court and growing.- http://www.wimp.com/samemap/ (Video)
- http://jerrysmap.blogspot.com/ (Jerry's blog)
^ THE AMAZING NOT-QUITE-RANDOM LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:3, 8, 16, 23, 34, 40
It was art time at school, and the class were busy colouring in their pictures with crayons. Little Jennifer put her hand up. "Miss? I ain't got no crayons!"
"Now then, Little Jennifer," the teacher replied, "I haven't got any crayons. You haven't got any crayons. We haven't got any crayons. They haven't got any crayons. Do you see what I'm saying?"
Little Jennifer looked confused. "But, Miss, you might not have any, but Little Simon's got crayons, Little Mary's got crayons, even Little David's got crayons, but I ain't got no crayons!"
^ ...end of line