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Issue #356 - 23 November 2012
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^ WORD OF THE WEEK
folivore |
Friday 23 November - Thespis of Icaria was recorded as portraying a character on stage, becoming the first known actor, 534 BCE. Botanist Prospero Alpini born, 1553. Composer Thomas Tallis died, 1585. The first jukebox went into use in San Francisco's Palais Royale Saloon, 1889. Murderer Doctor H.H. Crippen executed, 1910. Actor Michael Gough born, 1916. The first smartphone, the IBM Simon, was announced at COMDEX in Las Vegas, 1992. Singer Miley Cyrus born, 1992. Publisher Rayner Unwin, who as a child had recommended that his father publish The Hobbit, died, 2000. Black Friday and Buy Nothing Day in the USA. Saturday 24 November - Joan of Arc beseiged La Charité; the siege would be abandoned after a month, 1429. Chronologer Sethus Calvisius died, 1615. Novelist Laurence Sterne born, 1713. Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species was published, 1859. Ragtime composer Scott Joplin born, 1868. Inventor Sir Hiram Stevens Maxim died, 1916. Actress Shirley Henderson born, 1965. A hijacker going by the name of D.B. Cooper parachuted out of the plane over Washington state during a thunderstorm with $200,000 ransom money; he has never been found, 1971. Singer Freddie Mercury died, 1991. Sunday 25 November - King Malcolm II of Scotland died, 1034. Violin maker Giuseppe Giovanni Battista Guarneri born, 1666. Astronomer Ismaël Bullialdus died, 1694. The Great Storm of 1703, the strongest windstorm ever recorded in southern Great Britain, reached its peak with gusts up to 120mph, 1703. Industrialist and philanthropist Andrew Carnegie born, 1835. A group of Confederate agents calling themselves the Confederate Army of Manhattan failed to burn down New York City, 1864. Baseball player Joe DiMaggio born, 1914. Agatha Christie's play The Moustrap opened in London; it is still running today, 1952. Singer-songwriter Nick Drake died, 1974. International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. Monday 26 November - Historian John Spottiswoode died, 1639. Poet William Cowper born, 1731. Captain James Cook became the first European to set foot on Maui, 1778. Physicist Karl Rudolf König born, 1832. Abolitionist Sojourner Truth died, 1883. The National Hockey League was formed, 1917. Writer Frederik Pohl born, 1919. Comedian Michael Bentine died, 1996. The British Airways Concorde made its final flight, to Filton, Bristol, where the prototype had been built, 2003. Cyber Monday in the USA. Tuesday 27 November - Astronomer Anders Celsius born, 1701. The first Eddystone Lighthouse was destroyed in the Great Storm of 1703, 1703. Mathematician Ada Lovelace died, 1852. Artist Frank Dicksee born, 1853. The Battle of Mine Run in the American Civil War, 1863. Automobile manufacturer Clement Studebaker died, 1901. Actress Robin Givens born, 1964. The first extrasolar planetary atmosphere was detected on Osiris by the Hubble Space Telescope, 2001. Film director Irvin Kirshner died, 2010. Wednesday 28 November - William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway paid a bond for their marriage licence in Stratford-upon-Avon, 1582. Sculptor Gian Lorenzo Bernini died, 1680. Poet William Blake born, 1757. The London Times was printed on automatic steam-powered presses for the first time, 1814. Writer Washington Irving died, 1859. Writer Nancy Mitford born, 1904. NASA launched the Mariner 4 probe to Mars, 1964. American media personality Anna Nicole Smith born, 1967. Actor Leslie Nielsen died, 2010. Thursday 29 November - The capital city of Korea was moved from Kaesŏng to Hanyang, today called Seoul, 1394. Naturalist John Ray born, 1627. Composer Claudio Monteverdi died, 1643. The crew of the British slave ship Zong murdered 133 Africans by throwing them overboard, to claim insurance, 1781. Author Louisa May Alcott born, 1832. Composer Giacomo Puccini died, 1924. U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson established the Warren Commission to investigate the assassination of President Kennedy, 1963. Comedian Simon Amstell born, 1979. Actress Wendie Jo Sperber died, 2005.
This week, singer Paloma Faith:And that is the thing I think, what's important about jazz and about real music is that, you know, a mistake is beautiful because as people we all make mistakes. It makes you feel human.
A mixed bag of quotations. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were:
- You're about as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike.
- Sean, I think there are some hooligans in the park again.
- Superheroes? In New York? Give me a break!
- Clatter, crash, clack, racket, bang, thump rattle, clang, crack, thud, whack, bam! It's music, now dance!
- It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses, and apologized to no one.
- Wind the frog!
-- Toy Story [1995]- Well, as far as I'm concerned, the Internet is just another way of being rejected by women.
-- You've Got Mail [1998]- We met at Starbucks. Not at the same Starbucks but we saw each other at different Starbucks across the street from each other.
-- Best in Show [2000]- It's been proven by history: all mankind makes mistakes.
-- Moonrise Kingdom [2012]- - Now Yolanda, we're not gonna do anything stupid, are we?
- You don't hurt him.
- Nobody's gonna hurt anybody. We're gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what's Fonzie like? Come on Yolanda what's Fonzie like?
- Cool?
- What?
- He's cool.
- Correctamundo. And that's what we're gonna be. We're gonna be cool. Now Ringo, I'm gonna count to three, and when I count three, you let go of your gun, and sit your ass down. But when you do it, you do it cool. Ready? One... two... three.
-- Pulp Fiction [1994]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
STREWTH! A drunken Australian has survived (though not entirely intact) climbing into a crocodile enclosure to ride a 5m (16ft) crocodile. Michael Newman climbed the enclosure fence after being thrown out of a pub in Broome, Australia, for being too drunk. He then tried to sit on a 1,800lb (800kg) crocodile called Fatso. Not surprisingly, Fatso wasn't amused and clamped his jaws around Newman's leg, but then released him, Newman staggered back to pub with bits of bark hanging off him and chunks missing from his leg, and the emergency services were called. Crocodile park owner Malcolm Douglas commented that "If it had been warmer and Fatso was more alert, we would have been dealing with a fatality," adding that crocodiles "...are not reknowned for letting you go."
SANTA! A man was arrested (for public drunkenness and disorder) in Kingston, Ontario, this week for wandering drunk through the crowd at the city's Santa Clause parade with his hair formed into a horn, telling children that Santa Claus was made up. It's not the first time there has been public debate about Santa - last year a TV news anchor in Chicago had to apologise on-air after commenting that Santa was fictional during a televised discussion about shopping, and for about 50 years NORAD, the agency in charge of defending North American airspace, has publicly tracked Santa's sleigh as he delivers his presents. Meanwhile in a Reading, England, Christmas lights switch-on ceremony Santa was supposed to abseil down into a shopping centre but his beard got stuck in the equipment leaving him dangling by it 15ft (4.6m) above the ground for 30 minutes. He could have been down a lot quicker if he had taken the beard off, but according to marketing manager Stephanie Maynard "...he was such a professional and he didn't want to let the children down."
AND THEY WONDER WHY THEY LOST? A private four-hour briefing to Republican state senators in Georgia last month introduced by former tea party activist Field Searcy (even the tea party kicked him out for his conspiracy theories about 9/11 and Obama's birth certificate) has been leaked. The senators were told that President Obama is using a Cold War mind control technique called 'Delphi' to persuade Americans to back his plan to make the USA a communist dictatorship run by the United Nations. At the heart of the alleged conspiracy is Agenda 21, a non-binding United Nations agreement to promote sustainable development. Chip Rogers, who arranged the briefing claimed to a newpaper that it had been requested by constituents. He later withdrew his name from the Senate majority leader race.
UNDEBUNKED! After a Denver, Colorado, man - who refused to be identified - sent his local TV station KDVR footage he claimed was of a UFO that appeared twice a week between noon and 1pm the FOX-affiliated station sent out a cameraman to debunk the story. What he returned with was footage that instead seemed to confirm it. They consulted aviation expert Steve Cowell, who told them "that is not an airplane, that is not a helicopter, those are not birds, I can't identify it." The original spotter told the channel that "you can see them coming in real fast and then they do a little whoop-dee-doop," adding that they moved so fast he had to slow the film down to get a decent look at them. The Federal Aviation Authority could find no records of anything moving like that in the area, nor could NORAD who have a base in the area.
SQUAWK! When police in Sagamihara, Japan, rescued a lost parakeet last weekend they didn't hold out much hope of finding his owner - he had no identification tags and was not microchipped. On Tuesday night, however, the bird squawked, starting with the name of the city and the district where he lived. Officers listened carefully and the parakeet eventually said a street name and house number. They took him to the address and Piko-chan, as they discovered he was called, was reunited with his 64-year-old owner. She told them that Piko-chan was not her first parakeet; that one had flown away one day and never came back, so she taught Piko-chan to repeat her address.
IN BRIEF: People are more likely to spend dirty banknotes than clean ones. Researchers find that Lonesome George might not have been the last Galápagos tortoise. Parrots mimic the calls of other parrots to "start a conversation." Simulacrum of alien face found in photograph of the Northern Lights. Black Widow spider, hundreds of offspring, discovered in Norfolk, England, factory after hitching ride in crate from Texas. Mutant super-rats invade Henley-on-Thames. Rare plant Pittosporum obcordatum discovered in Canterbury, New Zealand - the last specimen was discovered 170 years ago. Tolkien fan builds himself a life-size (actually, bigger) Bag End hobbit-hole out of 2,600 balloons. Susan Boyle goes viral on Twitter after misguided record company tweet to plug new album using hashtag #susanalbumparty is misread as "Su's Anal Bum Party". Pope Benedict XVI adds voice to chorus of people saying the world won't end on December 21. 1997 'Bloop' sound now identified as probable icequake generated by large iceberg fracturing and splitting. Yeti sighting reported in Tunbridge Wells, England. Elderly Scottish couple find royal python wrapped around their toilet seat. Sandy Island, in the South Pacific, on marine charts, maps, Google Earth, etc found to not exist by scientists who went to check the water depth around it. Milan cathedral auctions its 135 gargoyles to raise funds for restoration (winners will have their names engraved on the gargoyles which will all stay in situ.
Swedish House Mafia DJ Steve Angello drawn into argument over just what celebrity DJs do during a gig; do they just press 'play'? Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash resigns from Sesame Street after second child sex abuse allegation. UK government renews TV broadcast licenses for Channel 3 and Channel 5, with conditions; better coverage of Scottish issues for ITV viewers in the Borders and more original children's TV on Channel 5. Ben Stiller honoured at 26th Annual American Cinematheque awards for contribution to film. Jesse & Joy, Juanes, big winners at Latin Grammys. Agatha Christie's The Mousetrap celebrates 60th continuous year on stage. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 tops US box office ahead of Skyfall and Lincoln. Stage version of novel The Kite Runner to open in Nottingham next year. Stephen Fry returns to West End stage as Malvolio in all-male production of Twelfth Night 17 years after walking out Cell Mates mid-run. Martin Clunes dropped from Churchill car insurance TV ads after court bans him from driving. Peter Jackson, producers, deny claims of animal mistreatment on set of The Hobbit films. Terry Pratchett: Choosing to Die, Black Mirror win documentary, TV movie/mini-series International Emmys. Hilary Mantel, Stephen May, Joff Winterhart, James Meek shortlisted for Costa Book Awards. Tom Wolfe, Paul Mason, Nancy Huston, Craig Raine among nominees for Literary Review's Bad Sex in Fiction Award. Billy Wilkerson, son of Hollywood Reporter founder Willie Wilkerson apologises for trade paper's role in 1940s Hollywood communist witch-hunts. Jude Law, Michael Gambon to receive awards at British Independent Film Awards. Kate Winslet, Gary Barlow, receive CBE, OBE from the Queen. James Brown, AC/DC, Billy Joel, Paul McCartney & Wings among artists to have tracks inducted into Grammy Hall of Fame. Sir Paul McCartney, Robbie Williams, Mel C, Gerry Marsden, Rebecca Ferguson among line-up for Hillsborough charity Christmas single version of The Hollies' He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother. Twelve previously unreleased Jimi Hendrix tracks to be released on new album People, Hell and Angels next year. Chevy Chase leaves sitcom Community mid-season. The Simpsons to finally make Judd Apatow script submitted 22 years ago during first season. DJ and Reggae expert David Rodigan quits Kiss FM over marginalisation of the genre. AC/DC finally release catalogue to iTunes. Peter Molyneux turns to Kickstarter to raise funds for updated version of Populous called Project Godus. Amy Winehouse's Camden home up for auction at £1.8m ($2.9m) after failing to sell for £2.7m ($4.3m). The Angel's Share, Gregor Fisher, BBC investigations unit honoured at Scottish Baftas. Kiera Chaplin appointed first Amy Winehouse Foundation ambassador. Paolo Nutini receives honorary doctorate from University of West Scotland. Christopher Guest, Spinal Tap stars reuniting for mockumentary TV comedy show Family Tree. Florence Welch to take year off after current tour to write musical. Memorial to C.S. Lewis to be placed in Westminster Abbey's Poets' Corner next year.
Chess grandmaster Elena Donaldson-Akhmiloskaya (55), TV director John Hefin (71), classical musician Sir Philip Ledger (74), author Boris Strugatskiy (79), TV chef Art Ginsburg (81), artist William Turnbull (90).
So you've most likely seen the great big evil spaceships and stations in the likes of Star Wars. Did you notice how clean they were? Space Janitors is a comedy web series about the people whose job it is to keep those floors shining. "Some day? I'm gonna be someone somebody's gonna want to shoot at." :D- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxuT_r9rCeA
^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:13, 14, 17, 22, 29, 42You can now get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.
It was parents' day at Little Jennifer's school and her parents, along with her classmates' parents, were sitting at the back of the class while the teacher read Chicken Little to the children. "And then Chicken Little ran to the farmer and said 'The sky is falling! The sky is falling!' And what do you think the farmer said?"
The class were silent and thoughtful until one hand was raised. "Yes, Little Jennifer?"
"I don't know what the farmer said, Miss, but if it was my Daddy he'd have said 'f*** me, a talking chicken!'"
^ ...end of line