Issue ^#866 - 1^st May 2026

Edited by and copyright ©2026 Simon Lamont
( Facebook  /  Bluesky )

tfir@simonlamont.co.uk

The latest edition is always available at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/index.htm
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Unless otherwise indicated dollar values are in U.S. dollars. Currency conversions are at current rates at time of writing and may be rounded.
The Friday Irregular uses Common Era year notation.

^{^} ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 1st May     - Day 121/365		-		The Norman invasion of Ireland began with mercenaries landing at Bannow Bay, 1169. Isabella of Portugal, Holy Roman Empress and queen consort of Spain and Germany, died, 1539. Military leader and Prime Minister of Great Britain [1828-1830, 1834], Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington, born, 1769. Queen Victoria opened The Great Exhibition in London, 1851. Actress and dancer Una Stubbs born, 1937. Racing driver Ayrton Senna died in a crash during the San Marino Grand Prix, 1994. International Sunflower Guerrilla Gardening Day. Labour Day and related observances.
Saturday 2nd May     - Day 122/365		-		Polymath Leonardo da Vinci died, 1519. Mary, Queen of Scots, escaped from Lochleven Castle, 1568. Composer Alessandro Scarlatti born, 1660. Artist Mary Moser died, 1819. The Soviet Union announced the fall of Berlin, 1945. Singer-songwriter Lily Allen born, 1985. World Tuna Day (UN).
Sunday 3rd May     - Day 123/365		-		Historian and philosopher Niccolò Machiavelli born, 1469. Gentlewoman Elizabeth Bacon died, 1621. A total solar eclipse, predicted to within 4 minutes by Edmond Halley, was seen across northern Europe and northern Asia, 1715. Author and playwright Dodie Smith born, 1896. The first "spam" email was sent by a Digital Equipment Corporation marketing representative to every ARPANET address on the US west coast, 1978. Author Peter O'Donnell died, 2010. World Press Freedom Day (UNESCO). International Sun Day.
Monday 4th May     - Day 124/365		-		Lorenzo de' Medici, Duke of Urbino, died, 1519. Bartolomeo Cristofori, inventor of the piano, born, 1655. Emperor Napoleon began his exile on Elba, 1814. Geneticist Nettie Stevens died, 1912. Skier Kathy Kreiner born, 1957. The Don't Make a Wave Committee environmental organisation, founded the year before, changed its name to the Greenpeace Foundation, 1972. Anti-Bullying Day (UN). International Firefighters' Day. Star Wars Day.
Tuesday 5th May     - Day 125/365		-		Kublai Khan became ruler of the Mongol Empire, 1260. Rupert of Germany, Count Palatine of the Rhine, born, 1352. King Charles I of England dissolved the Short Parliament, 1640. Mathematician Peter Gustav Lejeune Dirichlet died, 1859. Journalist and author Nellie Bly born, 1864. Nurse Violet Jessop, survivor of the sinking of both RMS Titanic and HMHS Britannic, and the collision of RMS Olympic with HMS Hawke, died, 1971. International Day of the Midwife.
Wednesday 6th May     - Day 126/365		-		Spanish and German troops sacked Rome, an event considered to mark the end of the Renaissance, 1527. Composer Jean-Baptiste Stuck born, 1680. Astronomer Christine Kirch died, 1782. The Eiffel Tower was officially opened to the public, during the Universal Exposition in Paris, 1889. Writer L. Frank Baum died, 1919. Actress Anne Parillaud born, 1960. International No Diet Day. Revenge of the Sixth.
Thursday 7th May     - Day 127/365		-		Inaugural celebrations began at the Palace of Versailles, 1664. Poet Robert Browning born, 1812. Serial killer H.H. Holmes was executed, 1896. Geoffrey Dummer published the concept of the integrated circuit, 1952. Singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Martina Topley-Bird born, 1975. Magazine editor Isabella Blow died, 2007.

^{^} THE WISDOM OF...

This week, Leonardo da Vinci, in his notebooks:

An instant has no time, for time is formed by the movement of the instant and instants are the boundaries of time.

^{^} FILM QUIZ

A selection of quotations from films starring Alec Guinness. Answers next issue or from the regular address.

• The personal life is dead in Russia. History has killed it.
• Moths and all sorts of ugly creatures hover about a lighted candle. Can the candle help it?
• In my experience, there's no such thing as luck.
• I always feel rather embarrassed when people I dislike are good to me.
• I tell you, I don't like old ladies. I don't like having them around. I can't stand them.

Last issue's quotations from Kathleen Turner films were:

• Suzanne Somers, this is my bad side!
      -- Serial Mom [1994]
• I'm an adult. I want to have fun. I want to go to Liverpool and discover the Beatles.
      -- Peggy Sue Got Married [1986]
• There were 11 thunderstorms while you were gone, 11, you were right, he doesn't like them and just so you know I am a dog person but that is not a dog, that is evil with a dog face that humps my leg and is peeing on your carpet.
      -- Marley & Me [2008]
• You aren't too smart, are you? I like that in a man.
      -- Body Heat [1981]
• - You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.
  - You don't know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do.
  - I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.
      -- Who Framed Roger Rabbit [1988]

^{^} WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

• A split-colour lobster has been caught off Cape Cod. One side of its body is orange, the other black, with its claws a mixture of the two colours. Not only is the colouring notable - a 1-in-50 million chance - but it weighed over 3lbs (1.36kg), highly unusual for non-standard-coloured lobsters as they do not have the camouflage to evade predators. ● Forty years after the Chernobyl disaster left almost 2,000 square miles (5,180km²) of land, mostly in what is now Ukraine, some in Belarus, unoccupied by humans, the population of grey wolves in the area has increased sevenfold and testing has shown that the wolves have developed a genetic resistance to cancer. ● A rare orchid, Chamaegastrodia vaginata, has been rediscovered in India 175 years after the only other specimen was recorded in China. The plant is so rare that botanists had to consult records and specimens held at the Royal Botanic Gardens in Kew to identify it. ● Ten-year-old Evie Hill was spending a day with her mother by the River Ogmore in Bridgend when she found an unusual animal under a bridge. It was a 9"- (23cm)-long Mexican axolotl, the first to be found in the wild in the UK; it was probably an abandoned pet. Axolotls are endangered in the wild, but after reporting its discovery and consulting experts the Hills have been given permission to keep Evie's find and are setting up a suitably large tank to keep it healthy at home. ● A Micronesian kingfisher has hatched at San Antonio Zoo in Texas. The species is extinct in the wild and there are fewer than 150 in zoos. ● Three rabbits discovered on a North Sea drilling rig, 93 miles (150km) off the Lincolnshire coast have been returned to shore to be cared for by a rescue centre until they can be released back into the wild. It is thought that they had found their way into an offshore container in Dundee which was then taken to Aberdeen to be shipped to the rig. The rig's crew caught and cared for them in the radio room until they could be taken back ashore. ● Britain's first heathland bridge, spanning the A3 near Cobham, will open in May. The £3.7m ($4.9m) 223'- (68m)-long bridge, covered in vegetation including heather, will allow wildlife to cross the road in safety. ● A new study of fossilised jaws has suggested that giant octopuses, up to 62' (19m) in length (body+arms), swam the oceans 100 million years ago. ● An amateur fossil hunter searching the beach at Lyme Regis in Dorset picked up what they thought was a piece of wood with nails driven through it only to learn that it was a fossilised fragment from the world's oldest marine crocodile, one of only 11 discovered.


• NASA's Curiosity rover has discovered as many as 21 different carbon-bearing molecules in a single sample taken from the surface of Mars. The discovery adds weight to theories that the once water-abundant planet could have harboured life billions of years ago. ● Given the vast distances involved, interstellar travel has long been the sole purview of science fiction; Alpha Centauri, the nearest star to the Solar System is over four light years - tens of trillions of miles - away. However, a team from Texas A&M University has proposed a method using lasers to propel and steer objects from a distance. They claim that if scaled up the technique could see a spacecraft reach Alpha Centauri in as little as 20 years.


• An Australian ranger preparing for a controlled burn of land in the remote Biniirr National Park at the end of last year discovered previously unknown Aboriginal engravings of animal footprints on mountain ledges. While Aboriginal elders gave permission for the discovery to be announced they have not yet decided whether it would be culturally appropriate to photograph them. ● Archaeologists from Cairo University and the Technical University of Munich have identified two air-filled voids within the pyramid of Menkaure, the smallest of the three great pyramids on the Giza plateau. The spaces could indicate a secret entrance to the pyramid, built around 2510 BCE and not properly studied since 1910. ● Archaeologists studying the Wogan cavern beneath Pembroke Castle in Wales have discovered evidence of human activity dating back 45,000 years. ● French researcher François Desset has deciphered the 4,000-year-old Linear Elamite script, unique to ancient artefacts discovered in Iran. The significance of the deciphering of the system of 77 symbols including diamonds, curves and geometric patterns, has been compared to Jean-François Champollion's work deciphering Egyptian hieroglyphics 200 years ago. ● As part of their state visit to the United States King Charles and Queen Camilla are due to visit New York, where the Queen will present the New York Public Library with a very special soft toy. The original 1920s stuffed toys once owned by A.A. Milne's son and which inspired the Winnie the Pooh stories, are held by the Library and on display, with one exception. Pooh, Eeyore, Piglet, Kanga and Tigger are there but the young kangaroo, Roo, was lost in the 1930s. The Queen will give the Library a specially-made Roo, produced by British soft toy manufacturer Merrythought, who made the others, to complete the set.


• After authorities in South Korea announced that a wolf had escaped from a zoo in Daejeon earlier this month a search was organised. A few hours later a man posted a photograph online that he said showed the wolf at an identifiable road intersection, prompting the search effort to relocate and public warnings to avoid the area to be issued. The 40-year-old unnamed man has since been arrested, accused of sharing an AI-generated image that disrupted the search. The wolf was safely recaptured elsewhere nine days later.


• New research has suggested that Africa's Turkana Rift, across parts of Kenya and Ethiopia, could split the continent apart, creating a new ocean, sooner than thought. No need to panic though; the African rift system, of which it is a part, has been tearing apart for about 45 million years, and the Turkana Rift will finally split in a few million years' time. ● Spring rain and melting ice has led some houses on the shore of Michigan's Black Lake to be hit by ice blocks large enough to break through walls, as well as flooding from lake and river water. ● More than a thousand previously uncharted coral reefs off the coast of northern Australia have been discovered by scientists studying satellite imaging. ● The Methana volcano in Greece, thought to have been dormant for more than 100,000 years, has been found to have a significant and active magma chamber below it. While there is no immediate threat the discovery suggests that long-dormant volcanoes are not necessarily dead. ● There is growing evidence that the Atlantic Meridional Ovrturning Circulation (AMOC) ocean current is weakening faster than previously thought. The AMOC carries warm water from the southern Atlantic to the eastern US and western Europe, and returns deeper and colder water south. New research suggests that its strength could halve by as much as 50% by 2100. The effect would be to keep cold water in the north Atlantic and warm water in the tropics. It would result in increased sea levels on the east coast of the US and cooler temperatures in Europe and the Arctic, while the Antarctic would warm further. The overall effect on global temperatures would be a small but significant increase.

IN BRIEF: In Britain there is no offical list of banned names that cannot be given to children, but judges can block names considered harmful. Other countries have both lists and judicial reviews. Swedish autorities once banned parents from calling their child 'Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116' ('Albin' for short...), another couple from calling their offspring 'Metallica' after the rock band and a third from naming their offspring 'IKEA'. A couple in France were prevented from calling their daughter 'Nutella' after the chocolate and hazelnut spread. A judge in Ohio stopped a man from changing his name to 'Santa Claus'. Denmark, which has a list of permitted names, stopped one family from naming their child 'Monkey' and another from naming them 'Anus'. ● Farmer Alan French is refusing to move despite the land around his farm being bought for the construction of over 2,000 houses. He moved to the farm 17 years ago, having had to relocate twice before due to compulsory purchase orders for developments on his previous homes. ● When he was 17 Tony Incenzo completed his mission to visit all 92 grounds of clubs in the English Football League, becoming the youngest person to do so, and gave himself a new challenge. Now 62, Tony has visited every club ground in the non-league system - more than 2,000 of them, and logged each visit, with match line-ups, results and other notes, signatures and stamps, in a scrapbook. He completed his task at Fulwood Amateurs, where they played Thorton Cleveleys on Easter Monday. He has no plans to rest - he is now considering attending matches in every European country and possibly visiting a few stadiums across the Atlantic for the World Cup. ● A team of a hundred chefs have created a record 1,445'- (440.6m)-long tiramisu at Chelsea Town Hall. Among other ingredients they needed 50,000 sponge fingers and more than 3,000 eggs. ● A statue of Monty Python member Terry Jones has been unveiled in Colwyn Bay, Wales, where he was born. The statue depicts him as the naked organist - technically near-naked as he is wearing a tie... - from the cult TV show. Fellow Pythons Terry Gillian and Michael Palin attended the unveiling. It is expected that people will sit on the bench beside the organist for photographs and rub his bottom for luck. Gilliam, who was the first to do so, joked that "We can all fondle his bum, even in death. Children are going to do it and it will be the shiny bit." [Another statue which has had a similar effect is that of folk character Mary Malone in Dublin, whose breasts, rubbed for luck by visitors, are now significantly golder than the rest of the statue, leading town officials to try to stop the practice... -Ed]. ● A woman in an electric wheelchair had to be rescued from New Brighton beach on Merseyside last Friday after her wheels got stuck in the sand as the tide was coming in. An RNLI hovercraft from nearby Hoylake rescued her using a sling while her wheelchair was recovered separately by Fire and Rescue, and Coastguard, personnel.

^{^} OBITUARIES

Musician and songwriter Tony Wilson (Hot Chocolate, "You Sexy Thing", "Brother Louie", 78), comic book writer Gerry Conway (Marvel, DC, The Night Gwen Stacy Died, 73), singer Nedra Talley Ross (last-surviving original member of The Ronettes, 80), sound mixer Steve Maslow (Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Empire Strikes Back, Speed, 81), toy designer Roger Sweet (Mattel, creator of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, 91), classical pianist Ruth Slenczynska (last-surviving pupil of Rachmaninoff, 101).

^{^} DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:

5, 13, 26, 31, 37, 42

[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.

^{^} AND FINALLY...

    "Alright, children," the teacher said, "this afternoon I want you to write a report on a sports match. It can be any sport and a real or made-up match."
    The class got to work, but after less than a minute one hand went up. "Yes, Little Jennifer?"
    "Finished, Miss!"
    "You can't have, you only just started."
    Little Jennifer looked at the teacher and smiled as only she could. "Miss, the match was cancelled due to rain!"

---

^{^} ...end of line