The Friday Irregular

Issue #609 - 9th April 2021

Edited by and copyright ©2021 Simon Lamont
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  adj. having shapely or beautiful buttocks.


Friday 9th April   -   Byzantine emperor Zeno died, 491. An expedition led by Sir Walter Raleigh to establish the Roanoke Colony sailed from England, 1585. Engineer Isambard Kingdom Brunel born, 1806. The Suez Canal was reopened to shipping following the Suez Crisis, 1957. Writer Helene Hanff died, 1997. Actress Elle Fanning born, 1998.
Saturday 10th April   -   Halley's Comet passed Earth at a distance of 3.2m miles (5.1m km), its closest approach, 837. King James V of Scotland born, 1512. William Brewster, leader of the Plymouth Colony, died, 1644. Mount Tambora in Indonesia began erupting; it would continue for three months and affect the Earth's climate for two years, 1815. Singer-songwriter Sophie Ellis-Bextor born, 1979. Writer Sue Townsend died, 2014.
Sunday 11th April   -   King John I of Portugal born, 1357. English rebel leader Thomas Wyatt the Younger executed, 1554. The coronation of William III and Mary II as joint monarchs of Great Britain, 1689. Singer-songwriter Cerys Matthews born, 1969. Apollo 13 was launched, 1970. Actress Edna Doré died, 2014. World Parkinson's Day. International Louie Louie Day.
Monday 12th April   -   Crusaders of the Fourth Crusade breached the walls of Constantinople, 1204. Humanist philosopher and writer Muretus born, 1526. Astronomer Charles Messier died, 1817. Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin became the first human to travel to outer space, 1961. Actress Claire Danes born, 1979. Figure skater and coach Cecilia Colledge died, 2008. International Day of Human Spaceflight.
Tuesday 13th April   -   Krum, Khan of Bulgaria, died, 814. Handel's Messiah premiered in Dublin, 1742. Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of the United States, born, 1743. The CIA's MKUltra mind-control program was launched, 1953. Investigative journalist Amy Goodman born, 1957. Writer Muriel Spark died, 2006.
Wednesday 14th April   -   Something unusual was seen in the skies over Nuremberg, 1561. Mathematician and astronomer Christiaan Huygens born, 1629. Philanthropist Lady Catherine Jones died, 1740. John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath was published, 1939. Actress Gina McKee born, 1964. Singer Don Ho died, 2007.
Thursday 15th April   -   Polymath Leonardo da Vinci born, 1452. Samuel Johnson's A Dictionary of the English Language was published, 1755. Artist Rosalba Carriera died, 1757. Singer-songwriter, actress and former glamour model Samantha Fox born, 1966. Philosopher and Nobel Prize laureate Jean-Paul Sartre died, 1980. A human crush caused by stadium design flaws and grossly negligent failures of the police and ambulance services led to the deaths of 96 Liverpool supporters during a soccer match at Hillsborough Stadium, 1989. World Art Day.


This week, Leonardo da Vinci:
Why does the eye see a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination when awake?


A selection of quotations from films released in the same year. Answers next issue or from the regular address. Last issue's quotations were from films released in 1978:


Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

IN BRIEF: An Iranian baby has been been born with three penises. Roughly 1 in 5-6 million boys are born with two; this is the first documented case of triphallia. Only one penis was anatomically complete with a urethra, so the other two were surgically removed with no adverse effects. ● A pair of former childhood pen pals, one from Belfast, Northern Ireland, the other from Klamath Falls, Oregon, who lost touch with each other in 1950, have been reunited after Jim Johnston, now 82, told his family in Belfast about his one-time American friend and they urged him to try to get back in contact. ● Greenpeace have revealed that the more than 1,500 disused landfill sites across Wales are "ticking time bombs" after analysing data from Natural Resources Wales, with many of the sites improperly lined and containing hazardous material including asbestos, PCBs, pesticide and even mustard gas.

CORONAVIRUS ROUND-UP: An attempt to stop skateboarders gathering at a public skate park in Venice Beach, California, by burying it under 37 tons of sand backfired after dirt bikers started gathering there instead. ● The Metropolitan Police shut down a Good Friday service at a Polish Catholic church in Balham for breaching national lockdown restrictions including mask-wearing and social distancing. ● Lancashire Police broke up a gathering of about 70 people at Rivington Castle on Friday; some were drinking and suspected of using cannabis and nitrous oxide (laughing gas). A number of small fires on the srrounding moorland caused by barbecues also had to be put out. ● South Korea's hopes for using the Tokyo 20202021 Olympics to restart talks with North Korea have been dashed as North Korea has officially pulled out to protect its athletes from COVID-19. ● Kelly Sills, from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, was thrown out of Disneyland reportedly for refusing a COVID-19 temperature test as part of the park's standard screening process. After being told to leave he shouted that "I spent $15,000 [£10,877] to come here." As he was being escorted out of the park someone was overheard on an Orange County Sheriff's Department officer's bodycam footage commenting that "All he had to do was get temperature checked. That's it."

UPDATES: One of the latest people to be arrested over the Capitol riot in January is Michael Lee Hardin, who was a serving police officer in Salt Lake City PD until he retired after about 20 years in 2017; in 2012 he was named "Officer of the Year". ● The shipping traffic jam at the Suez Canal caused the Ever Given's stranding across the waterway was cleared a few days after the ship was successfully refloated. ● There are concerns for the welfare of the walrus - dubbed 'Wally' - visiting the Welsh coast after reports of jet skiers, paddle boarders and surfers getting "too close" to him; conservation groups monitoring the stray mammal have asked people to "enjoy him from a distance".


April (Harpursville, NY, Animal Adventure Park giraffe who gave birth to a calf called Tariji on a livestreamed video feed in 2017, 20), actor Paul Ritter (Friday Night Dinner, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Chernobyl, 54), puppeteer Phil Eason (Labyrinth, Muppet Treasure Island, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy [film], 60), politician Dame Cheryl Gillan (MP for Chesham and Amersham [1992-death], Secretary of State for Wales [2010-2012], Acting Chairman of the 1922 Committee [24th May - 3rd September 2019], 68), comic book writer Joye Hummel (the first woman to write Wonder Woman stories, 97).


Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:
11, 21, 37, 40, 57, 58
[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at


    Little Jennifer's class had been told to draw a picture showing weather for their homework. As she collected them up the teacher commented on them. "Little Mary, that's a beautiful sunny day", "Little Clive, that's a very big lightning bolt", "Little Simon, I like your picture of the rain". The she got to Little Jennifer. "Little Jennifer," she said, "this paper is blank. Why didn't you do your homework?"
    Little Jennifer looked at her and smiled as only she could, "I did, Miss, that's a snowstorm!"

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