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Issue #361 - 18 January 2013
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^ WORD OF THE WEEK
Funambulation |
Friday 18 January - The founding of Lima, the capital of Peru, by conquistador Francisco Pizarro, 1535. Philosopher Montesquieu born, 1689. The first ships of the First Fleet carrying convicts from England arrived in Botany Bay, Australia, 1788. Author Edward George Bulwer-Lytton died, 1873. Author A.A. Milne born, 1882. Writer Rudyard Kipling died, 1936. Soviet forces broke the three year Nazi Siege of Leningrad, 1944. Actor Kevin Costner born, 1955. Artist and TV presenter Tony Hart died, 2009. Saturday 19 January - Dagobert I, King of the Franks, died, 639. Architect Joseph Bonomi the Elder born, 1739. John Wilkes was expelled from the British House of Commons for seditious libel, 1764. Writer Edgar Allan Poe born, 1809. Georgia became the fifth state to secede from the United States, ahead of the American Civil War, 1861. Scientist Henri Victor Regnault died, 1878. Actress Tippi Hedren born, 1930. The last German-made Volkswagen Beetle rolled off the production line, 1978. Ham the Chimp, the first hominid in outer space, died, 1983. Sunday 20 January - The first English Parliament held its inaugural meeting in the Palace of Westminster, 1265. Physicist André-Marie Ampère born, 1775. Actor David Garrick died, 1779. Hong Kong Island was occupied by the British, 1841. Author and Nobel laureate Johannes Vilhelm Jensen born, 1873. Art critic John Ruskin died, 1900. Singer Will Young born, 1979. Terry Waite was kidnapped in Lebanon, 1987. Actress Audrey Hepburn died, 1993. Monday 21 January - King Charles V of France born, 1338. Composer Ignazio Donati died, 1638. Abel Tasman was the first European to reach Tonga, 1643. King Louis XVI of France executed, 1793. Confederate army general Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson born, 1824. 18.3" (465mm) of rain fell on Brisbane, the record for Australian state capital cities, 1887. Concorde entered commercial service with London-Bahrain and Paris-Rio routes, 1976. Singer Emma Bunton born, 1976. Elvis Presley's manager Colonel Tom Parker died, 1997. National Hug Day in the US. Tuesday 22 January - The first contingent of Swiss Guards arrived at the Vatican, 1506. Philosopher Sir Francis Bacon born, 1561. James Hamilton, Duke of Châtellerault, Regent of Scotland, died, 1575. In the Anglo-Zulu War, the battles of Isandlwana and Rorke's Drift, 1879. Queen Victoria of the United Kingdom, died, 1901. Soccer player Dixie Dean born, 1907. The Boeing 747 "jumbo jet" entered commercial service with Pan Am's flight from John F. Kennedy International to London Heathrow, 1970. Photographer Larry Birkhead born, 1973. Robert Tappan Morris, Jr was convicted of releasing the Morris Worm on the Internet, 1990. Actor Telly Savalas died, 1994. Wednesday 23 January - The Shaanxi earthquake, the deadliest in history, may have killed 830,000 people, 1556. Writer Stendahl born, 1783. Brewer Arthur Guinness died, 1803. Elizabeth Blackwell received her M.D. in New York, becoming the first female doctor to qualify in the U.S., 1849. Film director Sergei Eisenstein born, 1898. Artist Edvard Munch died, 1944. British writer and TV presenter Dawn Porter born, 1979. The final communication was received from the Pioneer 10 space probe, 2003. Photographer Helmut Newton died, 2004. Thursday 24 January - Caligula, Emperor of Rome, assassinated, 41. King Charles II of England dissolved the Cavalier Parliament, 1679. Castrato Farinelli born, 1705. English admiral George Rooke died, 1709. Writer Edith Wharton born, 1862. Robert Baden-Powell organised the first Boy Scout troop, in England, 1908. Artist Amedeo Modigliani died, 1920. Actress Nastassja Kinski born, 1961. The first Apple Macintosh computer went on sale, 1984.
This week, Audrey Hepburn [viz. Sunday, above]:Nothing is impossible. The word itself says "I'm possible."
A mixed bag of quotations. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were:
- I'm forever in pursuit and I don't even know what I am chasing.
- In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so.
- An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
- We gotta get off this rock, Chuck.
- That many dreams within dreams is too unstable!
- - Do you want anything from the shop?
- Cornetto.
-- Shaun of the Dead [2004]- Six years in the army I don't get a scratch. Ten minutes as a grave robber I get shot in the ass.
-- Burke and Hare [2010]- Caesar is home.
-- Rise of the Planet of the Apes [2011]- How am I ever gonna figure out what this is all about? It's all these zeros. That's what scares me the most. What would count down to nothing?
-- City of Ember [2008]- The defense department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid.
-- Top Gun [1986]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
TURN LEFT... Belgian Sabine Moreau, 67, set out from her home in Solre-sur-Sambre to pick up a friend from a train station in Brussels, 38 miles away. Following the instructions given by her car's sat-nav she ended up driving 900 miles, crossing five international borders (there are no internal land border controls in most of the European Union now), refuelling her car several times, pulling over to the roadside to sleep and seeing road signs in several languages, ending up in Zagreb, Croatia, two days later where she realised that she may not have been in Belgium any more. Meanwhile her son had reported her missing to police, who had searched her home and were about to launch a full-scale manhunt when she phoned home to explain where she was. Returning home 60 hours after setting off she explained her adventure with "I was a bit absent-minded as I had a few things to think about, I suppose," while a police spokesman commented that she had done nothing illegal and "these GPS systems cause problems from time to time but nothing like this."
DOGGONE! Over in Pensacola, Florida, a dog has been held responsible for its owner being run over by his own car. James Campbell and Iris Fortner, both 68, were backing the car into their driveway and had stopped for Campbell, in the passenger's seat, to get out and open the gate. Fortner, driving, opened her door to get a better view of where Campbell was and the drive when their boxer bulldog jumped into the car accidentally stepping on the accelerator which slammed the van into Campbell before Fortner, who sustained minor injuries, could react. Campbell was pronounced dead at the scene. While police hadn't yet closed their investigation at the time of reporting, no charges had been filed.
SIX DOWN, THREE ACROSS... There is a history of crossword puzzles containing, either coincidentally or deliberately, significant answers - such as the D-Day code words OMAHA, OVERLORD, NEPTUNE and MULBERRY all appearing in the Daily Telegraph's crossword shortly before the 1944 military operation, but the Reverend John Graham, 91, known professionally as The Guardian crossword setter Araucaria made a more personal set of clues, writing that "Araucaria has 18 down of the 19, which is being treated with 13-15"; the answers being 'cancer', 'oesophagus' and 'palliative care'. Graham has been setting crosswords for over 50 years, and told The Guardian's reporter that the clue "seemed the natural thing to do, somehow" as "a one-off because I don't really know what else there will be to say," and planned to go on creating crosswords for as long as he is able.
GOLD! An aumateur gold prospector in Australia has unearthed a nugget wieghing 5.5kg (177oz) from 60cm underground near the town of Ballarat, Victoria, using a metal detector. The area is known to still be producing gold, but Cordell Kent, owner of the Ballarat Mining Exchange Gold Shop, told reporters that "I [..] cannot remember the last time a nugget over 100oz (2.8kg) has been found locally." The nugget's value has been estimated at A$300,000 (£197,000; $315,000). The unnamed prospector had been searching for gold in the area for 20 years, had made small discoveries before the nugget, and was, according to Kent, a "person that really deserved it."
WHO'S GOING TO TELL VADER? The White House has ruled out building a Star Wars Death Star battle-station capable of destroying a planet. Under current guidelines, the President has to respond to polls put on the White House website after they attract a certain number of signatures, and a recent one called for the building of a Death Star to spur job creation and strengthen defence. Over 34,000 people signed it, prompting an official response. The somewhat tongue-in-cheek statement from the President's office said that the Obama administration "does not support blowing up planets" adding that the cost - about $850 quadrillion (that's 850 followed by 15 zeroes) would be prohibitive. Other recent petitions of note include one to have British journalist Piers Morgan, who took over from Larry King on CNN's nightly talk show slot (since when ratings have plummeted), deported for his views on gun controls, and another to have Piers Morgan remain in the US because "nobody in Britain wants him back."
IN BRIEF: "Prune fingers" caused, for example, by long baths, are an evolutionary response to make it easier to pick things up with wet hands. One in ten people have dropped their mobile phone down the toilet at some time. The US government is considering minting a nominal $1 trillion coin to avoid an impending financial crisis if Republicans and Democrats fail to agree on an alternative. US state of Wyoming declares the Jackalope (a large horned rabbit) its official state mythical creature. Latest US conspiracy theory - the Sandy Hook massacre was a hoax intended to get support for gun controls. Cat stuck up tree in Plymouth, England, for over four days, refuses firefighters' and RSPCA attempts to get her down. Claim that a group of thylacines, long thought extinct, has been captured on video in Tasmania; others say it's just big quolls. House cat taken on vacation to Daytona Speedway runs away spooked by fireworks, 62 days later turns up at home 190 miles away in Palm Beach, emaciated and weak, but OK after veterinary treatment.
US The X Factor changing judges again - Britney Spears, L.A. Reid out. Universal Pictures announce June 13, 2014 release date for Jurassic Park 4, co-produced by Spielberg, whose Robopocalypse sci-fier is indefinitely postponed. 38.5% of UK music sales last year were pop, followed by rock (20.7%) and easy listening (7.6%). Frank Ocean nominated for outstanding artist GLAAD award. N-Dubz' Dappy convicted of affray and assault. HMV and Blockbuster UK go into administration. Homeland, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Aaron Sorkin's The Newsroom nominated for DGA TV directors' award. Emeli Sandé, Mumford and Sons, Alt-J, Rita Ora, Paloma Faith among 2013 Brit Award nominees. J. Paul Getty Museum to return terracotta head of Hades sculpture to Sicily. Warner Bros wins commercial control of Superman from creator Jerome Siegel's heirs. Danish/Swedish coproduced drama series The Bridge (Broen / Bron) to be remade as Franco-British collaboration with body found in Channel Tunnel instead of on Denmark-Sweden bridge. Julie Hesmondhalgh quitting Coronation Street after 15 years. Amour, The Master pick up Los Angeles Film Critics Association Awards. David Bowie's Where Are We Now? enters UK singles chart at #6; #1 Taylor Swift I Knew You Were Touble, #2 James Arthur Impossible, #3 Rihanna (featuring Mikky Ekko) Stay. UK album chart: #1 Emeli Sandé Our Version of Events, #2 Calvin Harris 18 Months, #3 Jake Bugg Jake Bugg. Reboot of Yes, Prime Minister on Gold slammed by critics. Zero Dark Thirty tops US box office ahead of A Haunted House and Gangster Squad. Adrian Lester named best actor in Critics' Circle Theatre Awards. Tony Harrison's controversial poem V to be broadcast on BBC Radio 4. Sharon Olds first female American poet to win T.S. Eliot Prize. Final episodes of S3 of Downton Abbey to appear on US iTunes ahead of broadcast. Daniel Day-Lewis nominated for Evening Standard Film Award best actor for Lincoln alongside Toby Jones (Berbarian Sound Studio) and Eddie Redmayne (Les Miserables). Director John Tiernan loses appeal over jail sentence in wiretapping case. Dan Brown announces "new" Robert Langdon book Inferno for May release. Bernard Cribbins heading back to children's TV for Old Jack's Boat on CBeebies. Elbow's Guy Garvey writing for King Kong musical. Napster documentary to premiere at South by Southwest festival in Texas, March. Writers' Guild of America to honour Sir Tom Stoppard with Laurel Award for Screen. Granada, Spain, to name town square after The Clash's Joe Strummer. Dominic Cooper to play Ian Fleming for Sky Atlantic mini-series. Graham Norton to host seven-hour chat show for Comic Relief. Les Miserables tops UK box office, ahead of Life of Pi and Gangster Squad. David Threlfall, Russell Tovey to star in BBC police drama What Remains. Sir Elton John, David Furnish become fathers for second time. Dark Blood, River Phoenix' final film, to premiere in US in March, 20 years after his death. Al Pacino, Brian de Palma teaming up again for Happy Valley about disgraced American football coach Joe Paterno. Artists including Stereophonics to re-record The Beatles' Please Please Me album in 12-hour session at Abbey Road to mark 50th anniversary. Rodriguez to play Glastonbury festival. Apple being sued by parents' group over in-app purchases in iOS games. US National Rifle Association reacts to Sandy Hook shootings by launching iOS shooting range game. The Big Chill festival, cancelled because of Olympics clash last year, not returning for 2013. Campaign for George Harrison statue in Oxfordshire halted after Olivia Harrison tells organiser a community project in his name would be preferable. Glasgow to host 2015 Turner Prize. Children's cancer charity and Hillsborough charity say they haven't been paid money owed by collapsed HMV music chain. US coroner's report says Natalie Wood may have had unexplained bruising and scratches on her body before she drowned, explaining change in death certificate cause of death from "drowning" to "drowning and other undetermined factors".
Golden Globes: Best Film: Argo; Best Director: Ben Affleck (Argo); Best Actor (Film, drama): Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln); Best Actress (Film, drama): Jessica Chastain (Zero Dark Thirty); Best Song: Adele (Skyfall theme); Best Drama (TV): Homeland; Best Supporting Actress (TV): Dame Maggie Smith (Downton Abbey); Best Actor (TV): Damian Lewis (Homeland); Best Screenplay: Quentin Tarantino (Django Unchained); Best Supporting Actor (Film, drama): Christoph Waltz (Django Unchained); Best Foreign Film: Amour; Best Musical or Comedy Film: Les Miserables; Best Actor (Film, musical or comedy): Hugh Jackman (Les Miserables); Best Actress (Film, musical or comedy): Jennifer Lawrence (Silver Linings Playbook); Lifetime Achievement: Jodie Foster.
Internet activist Aaron Swartz (26), actress Sophiya Haque (41), actor Bille Brown (61), actress Mariangela Melato (71), Montreux Jazz Festival founder Claude Nobs (76), film director Nagisa Oshima (80), Jacki Clérico, owner of the Moulin Rouge since 1962 (83), author Evan S. Connell (88), actor Conrad Bains (89), author and BBC Radio broadcaster Robert Kee (93), Tuskegee Airman Quentin Smith (94).
Ever had the need for a chart of something like the tallest buildings in the world, different types of car, the Solar System, HTML colour codes (I know I've needed this), film archetypes, the arguments for and against the existence of God, types of DSM-5 personality disorders, verb conjugations or more? They're all available on this week's site.- http://usefulcharts.com/
^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:3, 4, 7, 14, 25, 47You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.
A traffic officer had found an ideal location to hide his car and use his radar gun to catch speeding drivers, but was surprised when every car that went past was at or well below the speed limit. He got out of his car and looked back up the road, and there was Little Simon holding a big piece of cardboard on which was written 'SPEED TRAP HERE!'. He then looked down the road, and there was Little Jennifer with a bucket heavy with coins and another sign reading 'TIPS'.
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