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Issue #371 - 25 March 2016
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^ WORD OF THE WEEK
Zemblanity |
Friday 25 March - Robert the Bruce became King of Scotland, 1306. Astronomer and mathematician Christopher Clavius born, 1538. Daimyo Ikomo Chikamasa died, 1603. The Slave Trade Act was enacted, abolishing the slave trade in the British Empire, 1807. Surgeon and pioneering hypnotherapist James Braid died, 1860. Composer Béla Bartók born, 1881. Copies of Allen Ginsberg's poem Howl were seized by the United States Customs on obscenity grounds, 1957. Bandleader Billy Cotton died, 1969. NASCAR racing driver Danica Patrick born, 1982. Lady Day, the historic start of the new year in England, Wales, Ireland and the Thirteen Colonies prior to the adoption of the Gregorian Calender in 1752. International Day of Remembrance of the Victims of Slavery and the Transatlantic Slave Trade. Tolkien Reading Day. Saturday 26 March - Malcolm III of Scotland born, 1031. William Caxton printed his translation of Aesop's Fables, 1484. Architect John Vanbrugh died, 1726. The first Henley Royal Regatta took place, 1839. Poet A.E. Housman born, 1859. Astronomer Auguste Charlois died, 1910. American forces ended the Battle of Iwo Jima, securing the island, 1945. Composer Alan Silvestri born, 1950. Playwright Noël Coward died, 1973. Purple Day in Canada. Sunday 27 March - Writer Rachel Akerman was born, 1522. Nicholas Guy's wife gave birth to the first English child born in Canada, at Cuper's Cove, Newfoundland, 1613. Artist Abraham Mignon died, 1679. Botanist Jane Colden born, 1724. Architect George Gilbert Scott died, 1878. Typhoid Mary, the first identified healthy carrier of disease, was put into quarantine where she would remain for the rest of her life, 1915. Musician Tony Banks born, 1950. Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin died, 1968. The decommissioned HMS Scylla was deliberately sunk off Cornwall to become Europe's first artificial reef, 2004. World Theatre Day Monday 28 March - Vikings under Ragnar Lodbrok sacked Paris, 845. Artist Raphael born, 1483. Ivan the Terrible died, 1584. France and Britain declared war on Russia, joining the Crimean War, 1854. Writer Maxim Gorky born, 1868. Composer Modest Mussorgsky died, 1881. Reactor 2 at the Three Mile Island nuclear power station in Pennsylvania suffered a partial meltdown, 1979. Singer Lady Gaga born, 1986. Actor Richard Griffiths died, 2013. Tuesday 29 March - Edward of York won the Battle of Towton in the Wars of the Roses, 1461. Scholar John Lightfoot born, 1602. Philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg died, 1772. The British North America Act received Royal Assent from Queen Victoria, establishing the Dominion of Canada on July 1, 1867. Antiques expert Arthur Negus born, 1903. Parapsychologist Harry Price died, 1948. Mariner 10 became the first probe to conduct a flyby of Mercury, 1974. Tennis player Jennifer Capriati born, 1976. Jeanne Deckers, The Singing Nun, died, 1985. Wednesday 30 March - Edward I sacked Berwick-upon-Tweed, 1296. Artist Francisco Goya born, 1746. Anatomist William Hunter died, 1783. The Crimean War ended with the signing of the Treaty of Paris, 1856. Charles Lightoller, 2nd officer on the RMS Titanic, born, 1874. Murderer Chester Gillette executed, 1908. Batman debuted in Detective Comics #27, 1939. Rapper MC Hammer born, 1962. Queen Elizabeth, The Queen Mother of the United Kingdom died, 2002. Thursday 31 March - Philippa of Lancaster, Queen of Portugal, born, 1360. The Alhambra Decree was issued by Queen Isabella of Castille, ordering all 150,000 of her Jewish and Muslim subjects to convert to Christianity or be expelled, 1492. Philosopher René Descarte born, 1596. Poet John Donne died, 1631. The Eiffel Tower in Paris opened, 1889. Author John Fowles born, 1926. American football coach Knute Rockne died, 1931. An estimated 200,000 protestors took to London's streets in opposition to the new Poll Tax, 1990. Comedian Barry Took died, 2002. Freedom Day in Malta. International Transgender Day of Visibility. César Chávez Day in the USA.
This week, Malala Yousafzai:One child, one teacher, one pen and one book can change the world. Education is the only solution. Education first. [Address to the United Nations Youth Assembly]
Some Spring trivia this week. In the UK, at least, there is statistically more chance of a white Easter than a white Christmas, but only if Easter falls in March - according to the Met Office December has an average of 3.9 days of snow or sleet while March has 4.2 (April has just 2.3). Hayfever is usually more associated with the summer, but yew, alder, hazel, willow, poplar and elm trees start releasing pollen in late February or early March; coincidentally, your sense of smell can be heightened in the spring because of the higher levels of moisture in the air. There may be the old adage of spring being a time when love in in the air, but a Facebook study reported that spring is one of the two times when couples are most likely to break up (the other is two weeks before Christmas). Spring is also the most popular time for weddings and for buying houses. The Great Sphinx at Giza in Egypt points directly at the rising sun on the day of the spring equinox. Not wanting to forget our readers in the southern hemisphere - happy mists and mellow fruitfulness! :)
A mixed bag of quotations. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were:
- One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.
- He's no God! He has a butt-hole!
- That bass player's a babe. She makes me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.
- - You men have given so much to your country, and no one has the right to ask any more of you... but I'm asking.
- What do you need, son?
- I need to borrow your boat.- I need to find out if I'm as gifted at peace as I am at war. They've awarded me the rank of Admiral and left me to my own devices, which suits me fine. I'll travel the universe and carry with me a precious cargo. Because I have a promise to keep.
- I'm gonna get you, and your little hand too!
-- Addams Family Values [1993]- Buckle your seatbelt, Dorothy, because Kansas is going bye-bye.
-- The Matrix [1999]- Always remember, folks. You heard it first from Charlie.
-- 2012 [2009]- - Any other demands?
- My sister gets to keep her cat.
-- The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 [2014]- People don't always tell you what they are thinking. They just see to it that you don't advance in life.
-- Hannibal [2001]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
SURPRISEY McSURPRISE-FACE! Britain's National Environmental Research Council (NERC) is having a new £200m ($312m) polar research ship built and decided to hold an online poll to find a name for it. Previous British research ships have been named Endurance, Discovery, Shackleton and so on, but the runaway winner of the poll so far is... Boaty McBoatface. Former BBC presenter James Hand who came up with name 'apologised profusely' to the NERC but stood by the name as being 'really funny'. At the time of writing, Royal Research Ship (RRS) Boaty McBoatface has 75,208 votes, over ten times as many as RRS Henry Worsley (7176) and RRS David Attenborough (5606) is in third place. Henry Worsley was an explorer who died earlier this year a few days short of completing the first solo and unaided crossing of the Antarctic; David Attenborough is one of the best-known natural history television presenters in Britain. Other humorous suggestions include RRS It's Bloody Cold Here (5336 votes), RRS Boatimus Prime (3297), RRS I Like Big Boats & I Cannot Lie (2378), RRS Pingu (2294) and RRS Ice Ice Baby (1791). The final decision will be made by the head of the NERC, as the poll is not binding.
MORE McFACE! The phenomenon has spread to other areas, with sightings of a food shop in Cheshire selling cheese branded as 'Cheesy McCheeseface', a train apparently called 'Trainy McTrainface', 'Firey McFireface' - a fire engine, a BlueStar bus called 'Bussy McBusface', and The Irregular's local BBC News briefly rebranding as 'BBC Northy McNorth West Tonight Face'.
KNICKER NICKER! There's a cat burglar on the loose in Hamilton, New Zealand. She's a six-year old tonkinese cat called Brigit and has an affinity for stealing men's underwear and socks from clothes lines. Since the new year her owner, Sarah Nathan, has found eleven pairs of boxers and more than fifty pairs of socks stashed around the house, and has had to put up notices informing her neighbours that if they are missing pants or socks she probably has them. At a previous address Brigid was less fussy - she would steal men's or women's underwear and even brought home a hockey shin pad once. Nathan is planning on moving to the countryside, well away from temptation for Brigid, but told reporters that if Brigid starts to look bored she may have to start hiding clothes around the property for the cat to find.
SHAKESPEARIAN SKULLDUGGERY! We reported in TFIr #368 that Shakespeare's grave was to be scanned with ground-penetrating rader, and the results have proved interesting. A news report in an 1879 issue of Argosy magazine claiming that the bard's skull had been stolen by trophy hunters was long-dismissed as fiction, but the recent scans appear to show that the skull is indeed missing. There has also been controversy over the size of the grave, because the stone covering it is too small for an adult grave, but the scan showed that the skeleton underneath extended beyond the end of the stone. There was also no trace of metal, as would be found in a coffin (nails or handles) suggesting that the body was simply wrapped in a shroud before being buried. The location of the skull remains a mystery - at St Leonard's church in Beoley a mysterious skull of unknown origin but believed to be Shakespeare's was found to be that of a 70-year-old woman.
OH, MUMMY! When high-resolution digital scans were taken of the walls in Tutankhamun's tomb Egyptologist Nicholas Reeves believed they showed two hidden doorways that had been painted over. Now a radar scan of the areas has revealed that there are indeed two previously unknown chambers containing what appears to be organic and metallic objects. The nature of Tutankhamun's tomb has long been a mystery as the layout is more akin to a female's tomb and some of the burial objects found in the tomb appear to have belonged to a different ruler. While none of the Egyptologists carrying out the research will state who they think might be buried further into the tomb, many hope that it will be the fabled Nefertiti, consort of Akhenaten, Tutankamun's father, who is believed to have briefly ruled Egypt after Akhenaten's death and whose tomb has yet to be found.
IN BRIEF: London's Metropolitan Police find hidden cannabis stash, replace it with note on headed paper saying 'Unlucky...'. Texas man claims to have found proof of Noah's flood while digging in his aunt's garden. Entomologist sent to St Helena to survey insects has "extinct" cranefly land on his hand while driving. Two women working same shift at Florida hospital strike up friendship, later discover they are orphaned half-sisters separated in South Korea and adopted by different American families in the 1970s. When Storm Desmond hit the UK last December it flooded a biscuit factory in Carlisle, putting in peril Britain's supply of Ginger Nut biscuits and... Carr's Water Biscuits. Bavarian forest fire last October accidentally started by forestry minister after spending summer warning of the risk of forest fires. Sydney police responding to reports of a woman screaming and a man shouting "I'm going to kill you" find that the man was shouting at a spider, and the high pitched screaming was a result of his extreme arachnophobia. TV chef James Martin reveals recipe for the 'ultimate bacon sandwich' which includes maple syrup, takes 15 minutes to make and contains 3,500 calories. Diagram Prize for oddest book title of the year won by Alan Stafford's book about a vaudeville trio in 1930s Germany, Too Naked For the Nazis; Reading From Behind: A Cultural History of the Anus finished second.
Harry Potter fan theorises that J.K. Rowling hinted at Dumbledore's death in the third book of the series, three books before it happened. Star Sarah Lancashire casts doubt on third series of Happy Valley. Ofcom receive 54 complaints about Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway ranging from language to discrimination. BBC to make drama based on John Christie's multiple murders, previously filmed as 10 Rillington Place. Cumberbitches with £50 ($73) to spare can buy a chocolate rabbit bearing Benedict Cumberbatch's head (and bunny ears). Chinese film distributor Beijing Max Screen has license suspended after inflating box office takings and reporting fabricated screenings of IP Man 3. David Solomons wins Waterstones Children's Book Prize with debut novel My Brother is a Superhero. English National Opera pay dispute resolved; director Mark Wigglesworth resigns. Adele to headline Glastonbury 2016, James to open festival. Sport Relief telethon raises £55.4m ($86.48m) on the night. Prince writing memoir, to be published in 2017. Sir Paul McCartney launches legal bid to regain US publishing rights to Beatles' back catalogue. Sony Music resolves licensing issues with SoundCloud. Bill Turnbull to host mid-morning weekend radio shows on Classic FM. Sir Lenny Henry receives Fellowship of The Royal Television Society. Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive added to US National Recording Registry along with George Carlin's Seven Words You Can't Say on Television sketch. BBC America making new TV series based on Douglas Adams' Dirk Gently, written and directed by Max Landis (John Landis' son) with Elijah Wood as Gently's "reluctant assistant". Cornish teen metal band The Black Leaves of Envy under threat of council sanction following complaints about noise when they practice in garage receive backing (and soundproofing advice) from Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl. Rapper Snoop Dogg accidentally tags himself on social media as being in Bogata, Romania, when he's actually in Bogota, Colombia. Star Wars: Episode VIII director Rian Johnson sued by former agent for cut of franchise earnings. Sony closing UK Evolution Studios game development house. Some DVD/Blu-Ray preorders of The Night Manager mistakenly shipped early, final two episodes leaked online.
Empire Awards: Best Actor: Matt Damon (The Martian), Best Actress: Alicia Vikander (The Danish Girl), Best Film: The Revenant, Legend award: Alan Rickman (posthumous), Best British film: Spectre.
Rapper Phife Dawg (A Tribe Called Quest), 45; politician Rob Ford (mayor of Toronto, 2010-2014), 46; soccer player/manager Johan Cruyff (Ajax, Barcelona), 68; writer Barry Hines (A Kestrel for a Knave - filmed as Kes, Threads), 76; businessman Andrew Grove (Intel CEO & chairman), 79.
If you use Facebook you are more than likely fed up with all the ads, trending topics that don't interest you, irrelevent new stories and so on, and so forth. If you use Firefox, Chrome, Safari, Opera or the Maxthon web browser this week's site will be of indubitable interest. F.B. Purity is a browser addon that lets you choose what Facebook shows you, and it is free (although you can - and really should - make a donation if you find it useful). Here at the Irregular office we have been using it for quite some time.- F.B. Purity - Clean up and Customize Facebook
^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:1, 6, 10, 27, 42, 53[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.
Little Jennifer came home from school one day, and at supper that night she carefully put down her knife and fork and said she wanted to ask her father something.
"Of course," her father replied, "What is it?"
Little Jennifer thought for a moment. "Daddy, can you write in the dark?"
Her father looked bemused. "I think I can. What do you want me to write?"
Little Jennifer smiled her most angelic smile. "Your name on my report card, please."
^ ...end of line