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Issue #374 - 15 April 2016
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^ WORD OF THE WEEK
hogshead |
Friday 15 April - Bari, the last Byzantine possession in southern Italy, was surrendered, 1071. Renaissance Man Leonardo da Vinci born, 1452. Samuel Johnson's A Dictionary of the English Language was published, 1755. Madame de Pompadour, mistress of Louis XV of France, died, 1764. Maria Branwell, mother of the Brontës, born, 1783. Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States, died, 1865. The RMS Titanic sank, 1912. Model, singer & actress Samantha Fox born, 1966. Writer, academic & politician Clement Freud died, 2009. The final Hillsborough Disaster memorial service at Anfield Stadium in Liverpool. World Art Day. Universal Day of Culture. Saturday 16 April - Roman emperor Otho died, 69. The Jewish fortress at Masada fell to the Romans, 73. Mathematician John Hadley born, 1682. Writer Aphra Behn died, 1689. The Battle of Culloden, 1746. Artist Ford Madox Brown born, 1821. Wax museum founder Marie Tussaud died, 1850. The United States Army liberated the Colditz high security prisoner-of-war camp, 1945. Actress Claire Foy born, 1984. Memorial Day for the Victims of the Holocaust in Hungary. Birthday of Queen Margrethe II in Denmark. World Voice Day. Sunday 17 April - Philosopher Proclus died, 485. Geoffrey Chaucer first told The Canterbury Tales, 1397. Writer John Ford born, 1586. Inventor & politician Benjamin Franklin died, 1790. Virginia seceded from the United States, becoming the eighth state to join the Confederate States of America, 1861. Author Karen Blixen born, 1885. Apollo 13 returned safely to Earth following a near-disaster in space, 1970. Actress Jennifer Garner born, 1972. Singer, photographer & activist Linda McCartney died, 1998. World Hemophilia Day. Monday 18 April - King Æthelred I of Northumbria murdered, 796. Lucrezia Borgia born, 1480. George Jeffreys, 1st Baron Jeffreys, "The Hanging Judge", died, 1689. The founding of the Real Academia de la Historia (Royal Academy of History) in Mardrid, 1738. Lawyer Clarence Darrow born, 1857. The RMS Carpathia arrived in New York City with 705 survivors from the the RMS Titanic, 1912. Actress Hayley Mills born, 1946. Physicist Albert Einstein died, 1955. The longest professional baseball game, between the Pawtucket Red Sox and the Rochester Red Wings, started, 1981. Tuesday 19 April - Piso's plot to kill the Roman emperor Nero was betrayed, 65. Pianist Christoph Bach born, 1613. Artist Canaletto died, 1768. Lieutenant (later Captain) James Cook sighted the eastern coast of present-day Australia, 1770. Poet Lord Byron died, 1824. Ole Evinrude, inventor of the outboard motor, born, 1877. Biologist Charles Darwin died, 1882. Actress Kate Hudson born, 1979. Boston Marathon bombings suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was captured by police (his brother had died in a shootout earlier the same day), 2013. Primrose Day in the United Kingdom. Wednesday 20 April - The sun dog phenomenon was observed over Stockholm and soon after depicted in the painting Vädersolstavlan, 1535. Spy William Bedloe born, 1650. North American tribal leader Chief Pontiac died, 1769. The start of the Siege of Boston in the American Revolutionary War, 1775. Gangster Walter Costello born, 1889. Dracula writer Bram Stoker died, 1912. The launch of the BBC2 television channel in the UK was hit by a power cut, 1964. Record-setting skydiver Felix Baumgartner born, 1969. Bookseller Christopher Robin Milne died, 1996. Thursday 21 April - The founding of Rome, 753 BCE (traditional date). Henry VIII ascended the throne of England, 1509. Artist Ludovico Carracci born, 1555. Cosimo I de' Medici, Grand Duke of Tuscany, died, 1574. Author & poet Charlotte Brontë born, 1816. The Daily Mail published the now-disproved "Surgeon's Photograph", purportedly of the Loch Ness Monster, 1934. Ecomonist John Maynard Keynes died, 1943. Actor James McAvoy born, 1979. Singer-songwriter & activist Nina Simone died, 2003. Grounatio Day in Jamaica.
This week, Charlotte Brontë:I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will. (Jane Eyre)
The blue whale is the largest creature ever known on Earth - the largest known dinosaur, Argentinosaurus, at 30-35m (98-115') long, approached the length of the blue whale, but weighed a little over half the mass. The heart of the blue whale is about the same size as a Volkswagen Beetle. Blue whale pregnancy usually last about a year, and the calves are born weighing about 3 tons and measuring up to 9m (30') in length. Blue whales usually swim at up to 12 miles an hour, but can reach speeds of 30 mph. They are found in all the oceans of the world, and one has been sighted in the North Sea. The global population has recovered somewhat since whalers were prohibited from catching them, and there are believed to be between 10,000 and 25,000, but there is still some way to go to reach the level at the start of the 20th century, when there were estimated to be over 300,000 blue whales.
A mixed bag of quotations. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were:
- - It's alive.
- Isn't that rather obvious?- Why do they have to travel in packs? And how are you supposed to get one on their own to ask them?
- I leave you alone for two minutes and the wolves descend.
- Get back you eight-legged freaks!
- Target acquired. ... Target engaged. ... TARGET ANGRY! TARGET ANGRY!
- The defense department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid.
-- Top Gun [1986]- A new species is being born. Help me guide it, shape it, lead it.
-- X-Men: First Class [2011]- Can you do me a favour... would you mind unplugging me? That's an order.
-- Bicentennial Man [1999]- Hope you don't mind, I told Mrs Bates she could use your dressing room.
-- Hitchcock [2012]- Time gives legitimacy to it's existence. Time is the only true unit of measure.
-- Lucy [2014]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
THE GREAT ESCAPE. It happened in the dead of night. The escapee slipped through a small gap, slithered 8 feet (2.4m) across the floor and escaped through a drainage hole just 6 inches (15cm) across - roughly three quarters the size of his body - that led 164 feet (50m) to the ocean and freedom. This was not your average prisoner - or even a recreation of The Shawshank Redemption. His name is Inky, he is an octopus and - until his escape - he was a resident at the National Aquarium of New Zealand. Octopuses are known to be both highly intelligent and capable of squeezing through small openings. It is thought that the gap at the top of the tank he shared with another octopus called Blotchy (who stayed behind) was accidentally left after staff had cleaned it. Inky is not the first octopus to escape from his tank; there was one in a British aquarium who would climb out of his tank every night, slither to another tank to feed on fish then return to its own tank.
SACRE BLEU (FROMAGE)! A review of sniffer dogs at Manchester Airport in England trained to locate prohibited goods such as class A drugs (Cocaine, crystal meth, opium &al) has found that in a seven-month period they found no drugs - but one dog, trained to sniff out illegal animal products, did often locate small quantities of cheese or sausages being brought back by holidaymakers, some of which was illegally imported. It was not all bad for the dogs; they had helped with the seizure of significant quantities of cigarettes, tobacco, meat and cash. The airport has six detector dogs based in new kennels built at a cost of £1.25m ($1.95m). Staff are reappraising how they are deployed.
NESSIE! Following on from last week's Friday Irregular and the claimed sighting of the Loch Ness Monster in the Thames, some 450 miles south of its usual claimed abode, we are happy to report that an underwater robot deployed in the loch has photographed Nessie in the dark waters. Unfortunately it was not the actual monster - if it exists - but a 30-foot (9m) prop, built for the 1970 film The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes starring Sir Robert Stephens, Colin Blakely and Sir Christopher Lee. Loch Ness Project director Adrian Shine confirmed that the find was the prop monster, relating how it had been built with a long neck and two humps to aid buoyancy, tethered to a pier for some shots, before it was to be towed out into the loch for others - but director Billy Wilder had told special effects artist Wally Veevers to remove the humps, with the result that it sank on its first trip out into the loch.
YIPPEEKAYAY! BrewDog is a Scottish craft brewery in Aberdeenshire whose flagship brand is an American style ale called Punk IPA. Recently word reached them that some people thought it was not 'punk' enough, so packing manager Graeme Wallace had an idea. On the bottom of 200,000 cans, where the date is usually stamped, he added the words "MOTHER F****R DAY". The batch was then shipped across the whole of the UK. It was not until Twitter users started posting pictures of the cans' message that the brewery's senior managers realised what had been done, and recalled the entire batch. Normally such an act would mean immediate dismissal, but in light of the free - and generally good-humoured - publicity his actions had given them, Wallace was awarded Employee of the Month.
TO THE SHOPS AND BEYOND! A man born 26 years ago as Sam Stephens loves Toy Story, so much so that after he hit a charity fundraising target last year he celebrated by changing his name by deed poll to Buzz Lightyear. Bideford, Devon, resident Buzz has been engaged in a year-long battle with the
Evil Emperor ZurgDriver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA) to have his driving licence changed to show his new name, which they had initially said would not be a problem if the deed poll was allowed, but then recanted saying that as a fictional character the name would bring them into disrepute if he went abroad and had to show his licence. Just like Toy Story though, there is a happy ending. Buzz has now received his new driving licence.IN BRIEF: East Sussex man doing house clearance finds 13-foot (4m) Burmese Python in the airing cupboard. Droitwich firefighters rescue missing cat stuck behind fireplace for five days. Medical student terrified of her own belly button. 1500-year old mummy discovered in Mongolia wearing shoes remarkably similar to Adidas trainers. Three men sail down river in fridge. Man breaks into fast food restaurant, CCTV records him cooking himself meal and helping himself to bottled water. Man proposes to girlfriend while they are rock climbing, but then gets stuck and has to be rescued by helicopter. Entire village of West Heslerton, near Scarborough, up for sale with 2,000 acres of farmland and a petrol station - just £20m ($25.5m); that's about the same price a family house in Knightsbridge, London, goes for. David Gest dies shortly before starting his "David Gest Is Not Dead But Alive With Soul Tour!" tour. [viz. Obituaries, below]
Kerry Howard to play Hyacinth Bucket in Keeping Up Appearances prequel. Brian Adams cancels Mississippi concert in protest over discriminatory religious liberty law; John Grisham, Donna Tartt among 95 authors signing letter urging repeal. Springsteen, Ringo Starr and others cancel North Carolina concerts in protest at transgender discrimination law. Rare Shakespeare First Folio (only about 230 are known to be extant) found at Mount Stuart House on the Isle of Bute. First Star Wars: Rogue One trailer released . Tom Hiddlestone rules out further series of The Night Manager. Robert Plant, Jimmy Page facing copyright trial over Stairway to Heaven. Julie Hesmondhalgh, Charlie Higson joining returning David Tennant, Olivia Coleman for final series of Broadchurch. Painting found in Toulouse attic believed to be by Caravaggio. Research suggests music streaming also boosting sales of vinyl records; but 7% of buyers do not own a turntable. Daniel Radcliffe returning to stage in New York City for Privacy. Next Spider-Man film to be titled Spider-Man: Homecoming, stars Tom Holland, includes Iron Man; due July 2017 (Holland will appear as Spider-Man before then in Captain America: Civil War following Sony/Marvel deal). FBI offering $25,000 (£17,500) reward for information leading to recovery of Andy Warhol soup can prints stolen from Missouri museum. 2016 BBC Proms to include late-night David Bowie and Strictly Come Dancing themed proms and prom in a Peckham, south-east London, car park. Sean Penn, Pedro Almodovar, Ken Loach films among those in competition for Cannes Film Festival Palme d'Or next month. UK intelligence agency GCHQ reportedly warned Bloomsbury of pre-release online leak of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, though publishers found claimed text was fake; GCHQ asked for comment by press, say only that "We don't comment on our defence against the dark arts." Salman Rushdie, Sam Mendes, Maxine Peake lined up for Hay Festival. Kylie Minogue, Jess Glynne to perform at Queen Elizabeth II's 90th birthday celebrations. Panama tax papers may have clarified disputed ownership of Modigliani's Seated Man With a Cane. Pete Doherty, Youssou N'Dour to play first gigs at terrorist-attacked Paris concert hall Bataclan when it reopens in November. Chair J.K. Rowling sat on while typing up first two Harry Potter books auctions in New York City for almost $400,000 (£283,000).
MTV Movie Awards: movie of the year: Star Wars: The Force Awakens; best male performance: Leonardo DiCaprio (The Revenant); best female performance: Charlize Theron (Mad Max: Fury Road); best action performance: Chris Pratt (Jurassic World); breakthrough performance: Daisy Ridley (Star Wars: The Force Awakens); best true story: Straight Outta Compton; best documentary: Amy; best comedic performance and best fight: Ryan Reynolds (Deadpool); best kiss: Rebel Wilson and Adam Devine (Pitch Perfect 2); best hero: Jennifer Lawrence (The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2); MTV Generation award: Will Smith.
Entertainer & TV producer David Gest (Michael Jackson: 30th Anniversary Special, 62), drummer Dennis Davis (Stevie Wonder, David Bowie, 64), drug smuggler turned author Howard Marks (Mr Nice, 70), actor Gareth Thomas (Blake's 7, Children of the Stones, 71), Tom Jones' wife Melinda Rose Woodward (75), poet Gwyn Thomas (National Poet of Wales 2006-2008, 79), playwright Sir Arnold Wesker (Chips with Everything, 83), songwriter & musician Jack Hammer (co-writer, Great Balls of Fire, 90), poet Ruth Glibert (The Sunlit Hour, 99).
One for Whovians this week - it's 6 lines of JavaScript that write Doctor Who plots indistinguishable from the current series... [Yes, you will need JavaScript enabled...]- http://games.usvsth3m.com/drwho/#
^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:2, 3, 4, 25, 33, 37[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.
Little Jennifer's mother was driving her to school and they were already running late when she drove straight through a red light. "Oops," she said, "I think I just broke the law."
Little Jennifer turned in her seat to look through the rear window. "It's OK, Mummy, there's a police car behind us and he did the same thing."
^ ...end of line