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Issue #385 - 1 July 2016
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^ WORD OF THE WEEK
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Friday 1 July - Ostrogoth king Totila died, 552. The Crusaders defeated a Seljuk army at the Battle of Dorylæum in the First Crusade, 1097. Mathematician Gottfried Leibniz born, 1646. Lexell's Comet made the closest known cometary approach to Earth in recorded history, at roughly six times further out than the Moon, 1770. Aviator Louis Blériot born, 1872. Writer and activist Harriet Beecher Stowe died, 1896. The Common Market, European Coal and Steel Community and the European Atomic Energy Commission merged to form the European Community, 1967. Actress Julianne Nicholson born, 1971. Organiser of the WWII Kindertransport Sir Nicholas Winton died, 2015. International Tartan Day. Saturday 2 July - Saint Swithun, post mortem meteorological prognosticater, died, 862. Elizabeth Tudor, daughter of Henry VII of England, born, 1492. Spain ratified the Treaty of Tordesillas with Portugal, 1494. The Battle of Marston Moor in the English Civil War, 1644. Philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau died, 1778. Writer Hermann Hesse born, 1877. The first Wal-Mart opened, in Rogers, Arkansas, 1962. Actress Lindsay Lohan born, 1986. Computer scientist Douglas Engelbart died, 2013. World UFO Day. Sunday 3 July - Historian Claude Fauchet born, 1530. The founding of Québec City, 1608. Architect Robert Adam born, 1728. Mathematician William Jones died, 1749. The last pair of great auks were killed, 1844. Native American tribal leader Little Crow died, 1863. Artist Tracey Emin born, 1963. A Soviet N-1 space rocket exploded during a test launch, creating one of the largest artificial non-nuclear explosions in human history, 1969. Writer John Keel died, 2009. Monday 4 July - Supernova SN 1054 (now the Crab Nebula) was witnessed by Chinese, Arab and possibly Amerindian observers, 1054. Historian Johannes Aventinus born, 1477. Composer William Byrd died, 1623. The Second Continental Congress adopted the United States Declaration of Independence, 1776. Surveyor George Everest born, 1790. Miniaturist Richard Cosway died, 1821. Singer Ute Lemper born, 1963. Israeli commandos conducted the raid on Entebbe in Uganda to free an Air France passenger aircraft from Palestinian terrorists, 1976. Singer-songwriter Barry White died, 2003. Independence Day in the United States of America and its dependencies. Tuesday 5 July - Scholar Crinitus died, 1507. Thomas Hooker, founder of the Colony of Connecticut, born, 1586. Isaac Newton's Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Methematica was published, 1687. The Battle of Wagram, the largest battle of the Napoleonic Wars was fought, 1809. Showman Phineas T. Barnum born, 1810. Stamford Raffles, founder of Singapore, died, 1826. Arthur Ashe became the first black man to win the Wimbledon singles title, 1975. Dolly the Sheep, the first mammal cloned from an adult cell, born, 1996. Actress Katy Jurado died, 2002. Tynwald Day on the Isle of Man. Wednesday 6 July - Richard I ("the Lionheart") acceded to the English throne, 1189. Diogo Cão found the mouth of the Congo River, 1484. Statesman Thomas More executed, 1535. Composer Johann Stobäus born, 1580. Princess Victoria of the United Kingdom born, 1868. Writer Guy de Maupassant died, 1893. Singer-songwriter Kate Nash born, 1987. Serbian forces under Ratko Mladić carried out the Srebrenica Massacre, 1995. Filmmaker John Frankenheimer died, 2002. Thursday 7 July - Edward I of England died, 1307. 25 years after her death a retrial verdict acquitted Joan of Arc of heresy, 1456. Joseph Marie Jacquard, inventor of the Jacquard loom, born, 1752. Playwright Richard Brinsley Sheridan died, 1816. The first sliced bread was sold, 1928. Author David Eddings born, 1931. Animator Ub Iwerks died, 1971. Figure skater Michelle Kwan born, 1980. 56 people were killed and over 700 injured in a series of terrorist explosions in London, 2005. World Chocolate Day.
This week, in honour of World Chocolate Day, Lucy Van Pelt, from Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts:All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!
This week, some trivia about - what else? - chocolate. Why do people love it so much? Well, it contains phenylethylamine, a substance that produces the same physiological response as falling in love. The Aztec emperor Montezuma drank 50 goblets of thick, dyed red, chili pepper infused hot chocolate a day. One of the most notable film appearances of chocolate was in Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, where the blood in the shower scene was actually chocolate syrup; the 45 second scene took 7 days to shoots, and presumably rather a lot of chocolate. Neither dogs nor parrots should be given chocolate. Leo Hirschfield named one of his most famous confections after his daughter Clara; her nickname was 'Tootsie', hence the Tootsie Roll chocolate log. There are three principal varieties of cocoa bean from which chocolate is made - the Forasto bean is most commonly used, the Criollo bean has a more fragrant and nutty flavour, but is only grown in Venezuela, so tends to be used for more expensive chocolate, and the Trinitario bean, which is a hybrid of the other two. Regardless of the variety, it takes about 400 cocoa beans to produce 1lb (453g) of chocolate. Chocolate is not bad for teeth; no matter what your mother told you, it contains a protein which inhibits bacterial growth, and because it melts at just below human body temperature, it doesn't stick to your teeth for long. There is also no proof that it causes acne.
A mixed bag of quotations. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were:
- - Is that all you've got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?
- Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography.- Sometimes it's not about knowing the right answer.
- Codes are a puzzle. A game, just like any other game.
- You stood by me when other monkeys would have flown away.
- So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it. Thank you.
- - How do you feel?
- Taller.
-- Captain America: The First Avenger [2011]- Back, and to the left... back, and to the left... back, and to the left.
-- J.F.K. [1991]- People treat me like I'm the anti-Christ of television journalism.
-- Scream [1996]- - Your country needs you.
- I'm Canadian.
-- X-Men Origins: Wolverine [2009]- I was in love once. He was a hunter, I was a gatherer. It was quite the scandal. We fed each other berries, we danced. Then father bashed him on the head and traded me to your grandfather.
-- The Croods [2013]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
DELIVERED! When someone called Olive went on holiday to London in 1960 she sent a picture postcard to her cousins in Llandudno, Wales, complaining of the heavy rain. It was delivered last Friday, but unfortunately the address where her cousins lived was converted into flats later that year, and the residents moved on at some point in the last 56 years. Yvonne Hume, who picked it up when it fell through her letterbox told reporters that "I thought 'It looks like an old postcard.' When I saw the stamp I thought 'That's funny' but I didn't have my glasses on. Then my husband looked at it and said 'No wonder it looks funny, it's been in the post for 50 years! Talk about snail mail.'" Yvonne, who has lived at the property with her husband James for three years also said that she would like to find out who Mrs Morgan [the addressee] was and if any of her family are around.
LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR... Most neighbourly disputes can be settled peacefully, but for one Michgan apartment dweller enough was enough. The man, called Joe, lived above people who, even if he was tip-toeing around his apartment after 10pm, who be banging on their ceiling. They even called the police one night because he was running his washing machine at 9pm. So, as he posted on Facebook, "I figured out that my neighbors have unsecured Bluetooth speakers. So for the last week, I've synched my phone to the speaker at 3am on the dot, and start blasting the creepiest sountrack I can find for exactly 6 seconds." Three days later he posted "I might have crossed a line or 2 this time..." with a picture of a large removal lorry parked outside his neighbours' apartment.
FEYLIANS! In the late 1970s the Rossendale Valley in Lancashire, England, was a UFO hotspot. Now Mancester Institute for Research and Innovation in Art and Design Director John Hyatt claims to have photographed fairies there. John, 53, insists that the photographs are unaltered and genuine, and that he "went out afterwards and took pictures of flies and gnats and they just don't look the same." His photographs are on show at an exhibition in Rossendale, called Rossendale Fairies, in tribute to the Cottingley Fairies, photographs of two girls with fairies which fascinated the world - including Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - for 60 years until one of them admitted that they were faked with cut-out pictures.
HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED. Bath bombs have become popular in recent years - blocks you drop into your bath which release bubbles and scents to relax you as you bathe. J.K. Rowling never, as far as we can recall, described Lord Voldemort's bathing habits but if she had we are sure that Voldy would have loved the 'Black as Your Soul' bath bomb produced by Bella Muerte. When activated in water it spreads bubbling inky blackness, reminiscent of a witch's cauldron. Anyone who wants one had better cast some spells - they are sold out.
PANIC IN THE STREETS! With the United Kingdom voting to leave the European Union ('Brexit') Twitter has, understandably, gone into near meltdown over the last week; from people posting pictures "live from the Channel Tunnel" showing children's book/TV character Thomas the Tank Engine being bricked up inside a tunnel, others panicking over the fact that their chocolate bar is labelled as "cannot be sold outside the EU" to an apparently upset viewer realising last Friday that ITV were replacing This Morning and Loose Women [The UK version of America's The View] with news coverage. Meanwhile the Pound dropped in value to the point that one tweeter claimed the UK was now poorer than France (it has recovered somewhat since). Our favourite though was the speculator on what other EU nations might do now. Might we see Greece go for Grexit, Czechoslovakia for Czechout or Portugal for Departugal?
IN BRIEF: Original Jack Kirby Thor comic book cover art for December 1968 issue that had hung on a woman's bedroom wall for 30 years auctions for £44,000 ($65,147). World's largest uncut diamond, the Lesedi la Rona, about the size of a tennis ball and roughly 1,109 carats, fails to reach reserve auction price after bidding stops at £45m ($66.6m). California cinema accidentally screens X-rated adult animation trailer ahead of Finding Dory screening. German brewer Bergedorfer Bier launch ad campaign showing men cradling their beer bellies in the same way that pregnant women are photographed cradling their 'bumps'. Australian brewers develop beer with yeast grown from belly button fluff. World's tallest bonfire - at 155ft (47m) - set alight. Man attends wife's delivery of their child wearing T-Shirt bearing his face and the slogan "I DID THIS TO YOU."; she was reportedly not amused. Bus passengers stranded in flood see man overtaking them... on a Li-Lo. Thai man cleaning out his shoe rack finds 6ft (2m) snake curled up underneath it. Skeletal remains found by Loch Ness have Nessie hunters fearing the worst, but turns out to be TV show prop. Video of Jack Russell dog setting world record for popping balloons goes viral. Man sitting on lavatory sees simulacrum of Donald Trump in floor tile.
Drum kit used on The Beatles' first single Love Me Do expected to auction for £200,000 ($296,000). Brian Blessed directing his first play, production of Agatha Christie's The Hollow starring his wife and daughter; says that after recent health scare his heart surgeon has said he's like Terminator 4. Led Zeppelin cleared of plagiarism over Stairway to Heaven and Spirit song Taurus. Adele plays memorable Glastonbury headline set, 25 released to streaming music services eight months after physical/download release. ELO play Sunday afternoon legend slot at Glastonbury, Coldplay close festival with guest Barry Gibb and tribute to Viola Beach. Finding Dory holds US box office for second week, ahead of disappointing receipts for Independence Day: Resurgence. BBC hospital drama Casualty to mark 30th anniversary with feature-length episode on August 27. Top Gear USA cancelled by History channel; presenter Rutlege Wood hopes for return on another channel. Daniel Radcliffe not ruling out Harry Potter reprise after seeing Harrison Ford's return to Star Wars, but "the circumstances would have to be pretty extraordinary". TV Choice award nominations include Tom Hiddleston, Peter Capaldi, Cillian Murphy, The Night Manager, Doctor Foster, War and Peace, Marcella, Downton Abbey, Suranne Jones, Sarah Lancashire, Helen McCrory, Laura Carmichael, Jim Carter. The Secret Life of Pets tops UK box office ahead of Independence Day: Resurgence and The Conjuring 2. Ryan Reynolds, Eva Longoria, Hugh Laurie, Amy Adams, Mark Ruffalo, Goldie Hawn to receive stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Coronation Street to move to six episodes per week. Game of Thrones producers say there will be just two six- or seven-episode seasons before it ends; stars to receive significant pay rises for final two series. JK Rowling releases short story on Pottermore site revealing how magic got to America, ahead of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them's November release. Prince's Yellow Cloud guitar and lock of David Bowie's hair used to help model his Madame Tussaud's waxwork figure auction in America. Cult 80s UK TV Robin of Sherwood revived for audio play with original cast. Katherine Jenkins forced to pull out of Llangollen International Musical Eisteddfod by illness.
Screenwriter Michael Herr (Full Metal Jacket, 76), composer Mack Rice (Mustang Sally, 82), guitarist Scotty Moore (Elvis Presley's original band, 84), actor Bud Spencer (various spaghetti westerns, 86), fashion photographer Bill Cunningham (The New York Times, 87), futurologist Alvin Toffler (Future Shock, 87), bluegrass musician Ralph Stanley (I'm a Man of Constant Sorrow, 89), puppeteer Gordon Murray (Trumpton, 95).
For World Chocolate Day on the 7th, here is WikiBooks' collection of chocolate-based recipes. Don't eat them all at once ;)- https://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Category:Chocolate_recipes
^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:5, 14, 20, 21, 37, 46[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.
Little Jennifer's mother had taken her clothes shopping, and as well as a few shirts she had selected some pink My Little Pony briefs, while her mother had chosen a new dress. When they got to the checkout, her mother put the dress on the counter and Little Jennifer proudly handed all her choices to the sales clerk. When she got to her new underwear she smiled innocently and proclaimed in a voice loud enough for the whole shop to hear, "These are for me. My mummy wears really *big* knickers!"
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