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Issue #398 - 7 October 2016
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^ WORD OF THE WEEK
yestreen |
Friday 7 October - French troops invaded, but failed to capture, Jersey, 1406. Poet John Marston born, 1576. Writer Edgar Allan Poe died, 1849. During the Franco-Prussian War Léon Gambetta fled the Siege of Paris in a hot air balloon, 1870. Labour activist Joe Hill born, 1879. Frozen food entrepreneur Clarence Birdseye died, 1956. Members of the Palestine Liberation Front hijacked the cruise ship Achille Lauro, 1985. Singer-songwriter Lauren Mayberry born, 1988. Cinematographer Andrew Laszlo died, 2011. Saturday 8 October - Pyrrhus of Epirus born, 319 BCE. Isabella of Angoulême, second wife of King John, was crowned Queen consort of England, 1200. Scientist Michel Benoist born, 1715. John Hancock, first signatory of the US Declaration of Independence, died, 1793. Stephenson's railway engine The Rocket won the Rainhill Trials, 1829. Former Speaker of the House of Commons Betty Boothroyd born, 1929. Soprano Kathleen Ferrier died, 1953. Cats began an almost-18-year run on Broadway, 1982. Actress Phyllis Calvert died, 2002. Sunday 9 October - Historian Salimbene di Adam born, 1221. The first known recorded mention of the Prague astronomical clock, 1410. Physician and poet Richard Blackmore died, 1729. Egyptologist Joseph Bonomi the Younger born, 1796. The founding of Hobart, capital of Tasmania, 1804. Composer Camille Saint-Saëns born, 1835. Guerrilla leader Che Guevera executed, 1967. The Taliban attempted to assassinate schoolgirl activist Malala Yousafzai, 2012. Actress & comedian Jan Hooks died, 2014. World Post Day. Monday 10 October - Papal troops landed at Dún an Óir in Ireland in support of the second Desmond rebellion, 1579. Explorer Abel Tasman died, 1659. Artist Jean-Antoine Watteau born, 1684. Philosopher Charles Fourier died, 1837. The Great Chicago Fire burned out, 1871. Actress Helen Hayes born, 1900. London Bridge reopened in Lake Havasu City, Arizona, having been sold, dismantled and shipped to America, 1971. Singer-songwriter Marina and the Diamonds born, 1985. Actor Christopher Reeve died, 2004. Columbus Day and Indigenous Peoples' Day in the USA. Thanksgiving in Canada. World Mental Health Day. Tuesday 11 October - One of the deadliest earthquakes in recorded history struck Aleppo, Syria, 1138. Philosopher Samuel Clarke born, 1675. Explorer Meriwether Lewis died, 1809. The Second Boer War broke out in South Africa, 1899. Drummer Tony Kinsey born, 1927. Photographer Dorothea Lange died, 1965. American comedy TV show Saturday Night Live debuted on NBC, 1975. Actress Emily Deschanel born, 1976. Inaugural First Minister of Scotland Donald Dewer died, 2000. National Coming Out Day in various countries. Wednesday 12 October - King John lost the crown jewels in The Wash, 1216. Edward VI of England born, 1537. Navigator Jean Ribault died, 1565. The Salem Witch Trials ended, 1692. Artist Hiroshige died, 1858. Composer Ralph Vaughan Williams born, 1872. Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was published, 1979. Paralympian sprinter Jordan Howe born, 1995. Hate crime murder victim Matthew Shepard died, 1998. Freethought Day in the USA. Thursday 13 October - Roman emperor Claudius died, possibly poisoned, 54. Hundreds of Knights Templar were arrested in France, later to be tortured into confessions, 1307. Artist Mariotto Albertinelli born, 1474. Charles Messier discovered the Whirlpool Galaxy, 1773. Sculptor Antonio Canova died, 1822. English radio host & actor Wilfred Pickles born, 1904. Paddington Bear debuted in Michael Bond's A Bear Called Paddington, 1958. Gardener & presenter Rachel de Thame born, 1961. Author Otto Binder died, 1974. International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction.
This week, Douglas Adams, in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea ...
A mixed bag of quotations. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were:
- - He's stuck us all at one minute to tea time!
- Tea time, forever!- Tell me what happened that night! When you looked him in the eye and killed him!
- But every once in a while, there's a day when I don't have to be a princess. No lessons, no expectations. A day where anything can happen. A day I can change my fate.
- Um, you're not using those ear brushes to clean your mouth are you, Mr Brown?
- It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- You know the saying, "Human see, human do."
-- Planet of the Apes [1968]- Hey, waiter, I'm in my soup.
-- A Bug's Life [1998]- Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die.
-- American Beauty [1999]- I remember this hat. This is from your little old lady phase!
-- Ghost World [2001]- Time is the only true unit of measure. It gives proof to the existence of matter. Without time, we don't exist.
-- Lucy [2014]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
OH THE HORROR... Passengers on the London Underground are a resilient bunch on the whole, but last week they were confronted with something truly terrifying that saw them rushing out of stations to tweet their dread, including "horrors like this are part of why I go everywhere in the car" (@manek43509). What was the nightmare going on below the streets of the capital? People were handing out badges with the slogan 'Tube chat?' on them and cards suggesting that they would "benefit from a daily chat". Transport for London swiftly denied being behind the scheme, saying that they only give out badges to pregnant women and people with hidden disabilities to encourage staff and other travellers to offer assistance if needed. If there's one thing Londoners - if not the British in general - avoid doing, it's interacting with other people on public transport, even if they sit down next to you, apart from a muttered 'excuse me' or 'sorry' if you need to get past them to leave the vehicle. The Evening Standard managed to track down the source of the scourge, and it was an American called Jonathan Dunne...
ARIEL? Paul Jones was walking on the beach in Great Yarmouth when he apparently came across what appeared to be a washed-up decomposing mermaid, with a human-like skull, small streamlined body and fish's tail. The image briefly went viral on Facebook, with some cryptozoologists claiming that it might actually be a mermaid, and others suggesting that it was most likely a grey seal, of which there is a large colony locally. The most likely explanation though comes from Jones' own Facebook profile, which states that one of his hobbies is modelling creepy figures. In the 19th century such things, typically comprising a monkey torso sewn on to a fish tail were a frequent attraction at sideshows, and known as Jenny Hanivers.
BEEP BEEP, RICHIE! It may seem that America is experiencing an epidemic of evil - or just mysterious - clowns, with sightings initially in South Carolina spread to include Georgia, Alabama, Kentucky, New Jersey, North Carolina and Pennsylvania (and also apparently in the UK now). The Ali Ghan Shriners' Club in Maryland has had to withdraw its clowns from participating in an October parade in Hagerstown. There are a couple of reports of clowns trying to lure children into woods, and one connected - by the media at least, often with a stock picture of 1970s serial killer John Wayne Gacy in the 'Pogo' clown makeup he used to entertain children - with a death, but the majority of sightings are of clowns just standing still, usually at night. Before the whole of America turns coulrophobic the creator of possibly the scariest fictional clown, Pennywise in It, has come to their defence. In a tweet earlier this week Stephen King said "Hey, guys, time to cool the clown hysteria - most of em are good, cheer up the kiddies, make people laugh."
KEEP ON RUNNING. Ben Smith, 34, planned to run 401 marathons (42.195km, or 26.219 miles, each) in 401 days to raise money for the Kidscape and Stonewall charities. He started on September 1 last year, and ran 284 marathons in 284 consecutive days before an umbilical hernia forced him to stop for 10 days. After recovering he resumed the challenge, running daily marathons around Britain and this week completed his 401st in his home town of Bristol, joined by a few hundred people. Halfway around the final run he learned that he had raised his target of £250,000 ($316,100). He has worn out numerous pairs of running shoes but apart from the hernia, suffered no injuries, not even a blister. He now faces a month of back-to-back half marathons, a month of 10km (6 mile) runs then a month of 5km (3 mile) runs to "cool down" his body.
STRIKE A POSE. Earlier this year Arizona high schooler Kendel Divarco won a modelling contest and was flown to a resort for a professional photoshoot. Recently her parents were on an impromptu work trip when her father realised that they were in the same hotel, so he decided to recreate the shoot, striking similar poses - even with the model pout, in similarly-coloured clothing in the same locations while his wife took the photos. Kendel took it in good humour, saying that "My parents have always done crazy things. [..] But I'm a little upset that my dad looked better that I did in most of them."
IN BRIEF: US scientists believe the limit of human ageing to be about 115 years. Woman logs into Facebook to see news story reporting her as dead; website behind news article had mistakenly used her photo to illustrate article on death of another woman. After emergency hospital visit woman launches campaign with radiologists to warn people of the dangers of inserting foreign objects in their bodies; realeased x-ray pics include an aerosol can, a coffee jar, eggs, a kitchen pestle, a plastic bottle (with lid) and an aubergine. Man jailed for hacking into Indonesian digital advertising hoarding and streaming porn to drivers. Hong Kong design company making bags and shoes from dried apple peel. 5-year-old girl tells UK Prime Minister Theresa May that she "should be out there" helping the homeless. Woman sets world record time of 17m 22.86s for bouncing a mile on a space hopper. Essex builder arrested for renovating his house wearing just a workbelt and boots. Cracking you knuckles might be good for you after all. Pigeon arrested near India/Pakistan border carrying threatening message for Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi. New British polymer £5 ($6.32) notes may not be tearable, but high heat will shrink them. Norwegian Prime Minister caught playing Pokémon Go in parliament. Greater Manchester Police called to report of man biting bloodied woman in car find that they are extras in make-up on the way to a zombie film shoot.
Documentary reveals that children's TV producers in the 1960s were against introducing girl panda glove puppet Soo to Harry Corbett's Sooty show (Sooty being a boy bear glove puppet) because it would "introduce sex into a children's programme" until BBC Director General had to intervene to permit her addition, "but they must never touch". James Bond producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson reported as still hoping Daniel Craig will return for next film. James Purnell (2007-8 Culture Secretary) appointed director of radio and education at the BBC. Netflix documentary on Amanda Knox and the Meredith Kercher murder case receives mixed reviews. Daisy Ridley, Dame Judi Dench join Johnny Depp, Michael Pena, Michelle Pfeiffer, Leslie Odom Jr and Sir Derek Jacobi in Sir Kenneth Branagh's upcoming Murder on the Orient Express (Branagh will play Poirot himself). Bros brothers reuniting for 30th anniversary concert next August. The Big Bang Theory leads Johnny Galecki, Jim Parsons and Kaley Cuoco revealed as highest paid US TV stars at an estimated $1m (£791,000) each per episode. BBC Radio 4 drops David Baddiel's Don't Make Me Laugh. Lady Gaga confirmed to headline 2017 Super Bowl halftime show. 'Fake Sheikh' undercover journalist Mazher Mahmood convicted of conspiring to pervert the course of justice over collapsed drug trial of Tulisa Contostavlos; could now face up to 18 civil claims over previous stories brought to trial. Terry Jones receives standing ovation at receipt of Bafta Cymru outstanding achievement award presented by Michael Palin; son Bill Jones gives acceptance speech for him. Kylie Minogue, Joshua Sasse put wedding on hold until Australia legalises same-sex marriage. Two Van Gogh paintings stolen from Amsterdam museum in 2002 recovered from Naples mafia in Italy. Michelle Keegan confirms return to army medic drama Our Girl for next series. Karl Lagerfield says Kim Kardashian robbery was her own fault for ostentatious bling displays on social media; Fox News criticised for suggesting that it was staged for publicity. BBC commissions full series of revived Porridge and new comedy Motherland after successful pilots aired; presumably not new series for dire revamp of 70s sitcom Are You Being Served?. Rolling Stones to release album of blues covers. Daniel Radcliffe to play Rosenkrantz in revival of Sir Tom Stoppard's Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. Publication of Victoria Wood biography delayed to edit her father's quoted diary entries about her weight.
Comic book writer Gary Reed (Deadworld, 60), guitarist Steve Byrd (Kim Wilde, A Flock of Seagulls, MD of Byrdsongs record label, 61), musician & songwriter Rod Temperton (Thriller, 66), graphic novelist Tierry "Ted" Benoit (Bingo Bongo et son Combo Congolais, Heavy Metal, 69), actress Jagoda Kaloper (W.R.: Mysteries of the Organism, 69), singer Joan Marie Johnson (The Dixie Cups, 72), artist Andrew Vicari (84), actress Ann Emery (Rentaghost, Billy Elliot, 86), conductor Sir Neville Marriner (Amadeus, Academy of St Martin in the Fields, 92).
With this week's anniversary of Paddington's first appearance, this is his official site.- http://www.paddington.com/gb/home/
^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:1, 7, 30, 31, 37, 59[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.
It was art class, and while the chidren were busy painting Little Jennifer's teacher was taking time to finish some paperwork. Just as she finished and was about to take it to the admin office Little Jennifer knocked a pot of paint on the floor. "Oh, Little Jennifer," the teacher said, halfway to the door, "would you take care of that please? There's a roll of paper towel on my desk. I'll be back in a minute, everyone, so just keep painting quietly."
When she returned the paint was still on the floor, but there were three joined sheets of paper towel below it, on which were painted the words 'CAWSHUN! WET PAINT!'
^ ...end of line