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Issue #425 - 12th May 2017
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| Contents | — – o o O o o – — |
^ WORD OF THE WEEK
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Friday 12th May - The Tang dynasty's 300-year rule of China ended with the abdication of Emperor Ai, 907. Joanna, Princess of Portugal died, 1490. Cosimo II de' Medici, Grand Duke of Tuscany, born, 1590. Playwright Thomas Kyd was arrested and tortured on a charge of libel, 1593. Astronomer Thomas Lowndes died, 1748. Poet and illustrator Edward Lear born, 1812. The Soviet Luna 5 probe crashed on the Moon, 1965. Actress Catherine Tate born, 1968. Artist & set designer H.R. Giger died, 2014. International Nurses Day. International Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Day. Saturday 13th May - Mary, Queen of Scots' forces were defeated by a Protestant army under James Stewart, Earl of Moray, in the Battle of Langside, 1568. Historian & scientist Ole Worm born, 1588. Architect John Nash died, 1835. John Tebbutt discovered the Great Comet of 1861, 1861. Psychologist & parapsychologist Nandor Fodor born, 1895. Cricketer Frederick Christian died, 1941. Philadelphia police bombed the MOVE headquarters, killing 11 members and destroying the houses of 250 neighbouring residents, 1985. Actress Lena Dunham born, 1986. Musician Chet Baker died, 1988. Sunday 14th May - Charles IV, Holy Roman Emperor born, 1316. Louis XIII, King of France died and Louis XIV acceded to the throne at the age of four, 1643. Artist Thomas Gainsborough born, 1727. The first rugby game in New Zealand was played between Nelson College and the Nelson Rugby Football Club, 1870. Nurse Mary Seacole died, 1881. Sailor Chay Blyth born, 1940. The United States' first space station, Skylab, was launched, 1973. Musician B.B. King died, 2015. Monday 15th May - Johannes Kepler confirmed his third law of planetary motion, 1618. Writer Lady Mary Wortley Montagu born, 1689. Publisher Ephraim Chambers died, 1740. Diego Marín Aguilera flew a glider for "about 360 metres" (1,181'), 1793. Nobel laureate physicist Pierre Curie born, 1859. Poet Emily Dickinson died, 1886. Baseball player Joe DiMaggio began a 56-game hitting streak, 1941. Musician Mike Oldfield born, 1953. Composer Alexander Courage died, 2008. International Day of Families. International Conscientious Objectors Day. Tuesday 16th May - Mary, Queen of Scots fled to England, 1568. Navigator William Adams died in Nagasaki, 1620. Economist Dudley North born, 1641. Mathematician Joseph Fourier died, 1830. One thousand pioneers set out from Elm Grove, Missouri, aboard the first major wagon train on the Oregon Trail, 1843. Actor Henry Fonda born, 1905. The first Academy Awards ceremony took place, 1929. Musician Robert Fripp born, 1946. Puppeteer Jim Henson died, 1990. Wednesday 17th May - Artist Sandro Botticelli died, 1510. The marriage of King Henry VIII of England and Anne Boleyn was annulled, 1536. Pirate Bartholomew Roberts born, 1682. The first rules of Australian rules football were codified at Melbourne Football Club, 1859. Composer Erik Satie born, 1866. Racing driver Dorothy Levitt died, 1922. Musician Andrea Corr born, 1974. The first legal same-sex marriages in the United States were performed in Massachusetts, 2004. Singer-songwriter Donna Summer died, 2012. World Hypertension Day. World Information Society Day. Thursday 18th May - Poet & astronomer Omar Khayyám born, 1048. The Crusader presence in the Holy Land ended with the Fall of Acre, 1291. Antiquarian Elias Ashmole died, 1692. The United Kingdom revoked the Treaty of Amiens and declared war on France, 1803. Nobel laureate writer & philosopher Bertrand Russell born, 1872. Composer Gustav Mahler died, 1911. Mount St Helens erupted in Washington State, USA, 1980. Sailor Jessica Watson born, 1993. Alan Oakley, designer of the Raleigh Chopper bicycle, died, 2012. International Museum Day. World AIDS Vaccine Day.
This week, an anonymous commenter:A beard is an asset more often than not. It gives strength to a face more often than not. Women are aroused by a beard.
A selection of quotations from films with a common actor or actress. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were from films starring Brad Pitt:
- Love is magic comfort food for the weak and uneducated!
- Money's only something you need in case you don't die tomorrow...
- Oliver, my father used to say that a man can never outdo a woman when it comes to love and revenge.
- Baskin-Robbins always find out.
- Killing isn't like smoking. You can quit.
- I will write your letter, sir. And if it brings you your freedom, it will be more than a pleasure. It will have been my duty.
-- 12 Years a Slave [2013]- I guess you can't think and drive at the same time, huh?
-- Cool World [1992]- The world changes, we do not, there lies the irony that finally kills us.
-- Interview With a Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles [1994]- Who cares what psychiatrists write on walls?
-- Twelve Monkeys [1995]- Hey, you created me. I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility!
-- Fight Club [1999]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
STUDENTS... Henry Lynch II, a University of Kentucky student who crawled through air ducts late at night to break into his tutor's office, let in an accomplice who guarded the door while Lynch searched for his upcoming exam paper. The pair were busted when the lecturer, who had been working late but gone for some food, came back. Lynch's accomplice, named as Troy Kiphuth, tried to hold the door shut, but John Cain, the tutor, shouted through the door that he would call the police, at which point the students opened the door and ran away. Lynch has been charged with burglary and confessed to having used the same trick earlier in the semester. Meanwhile in the UK (United Kingdom, that is, not University of Kentucky) last year, a law student was caught cheating on an exam with 24 pages of notes written in invisible ink and smuggled inside an allowed standard textbook, after her ultraviolet light used to read them was spotted by her classmates and the invigilator.
TELLING WHOPPERS... Fast food chain Burger King's advertising company must have thought they had hit a gold seam with one of the company's recent ads, which started with an employee holding a burger and saying "You're watching a 15-second Burger King ad, which is unfortunately not enough time to explain all the fresh ingredients in the Whopper sandwich. But I've got an idea. OK, Google, what is the Whopper burger?" The intention was to trigger viewers' Google Home assistant devices to search for 'Whopper' on Google and read out the Wikipedia entry, much - as we have reported before - as voice-activated 'home assistant' devices have been accidentally triggered to order things (Amazon's Echo in that case, reacting to a news report). Unfortunately for Burger King, one of the features of Wikipedia is that anyone can edit it - and the entry for 'Whopper' was edited by pranksters to include claims that it included cyanide, toenail clippings and rat meat, and is "the worst hamburger product". A Burger King spokesman told reporters that the ad was not produced in conjunction with either Google or Wikipedia, and it was quickly pulled. [In the interests of fair reporting I should disclose that I am an occasional Wikipedia editor - Ed].
CURRENCY (AGAIN). We have already reported on problems with the new British polymer £5 note and bimetallic £1 coin. Several eBay sellers are flogging 'faulty' £1 coins, claiming that the middle section had fallen out. The Royal Mint, while conceding that a small number of coins may contain errors from the striking process, any coins being sold in their constituent parts have most likely been "deliberately manipulated". The Mint spokesman added that "breaking up a UK coin is illegal under the Coinage Act 1971." Anybody flogging these coins for up to £30 ($38.62) might be in for a shock - the penalty for breaking that law is a fine of up to £400 ($517) and a prison term of up to 2 years. There have also been reports this week of cocaine users ending up with cuts to their noses after using the polymer £5 note to snort the drug.
JUST IN TIME FOR SUMMER. More than 30 years ago Dooagh Beach on Achill Island, County Mayo, in Ireland, was washed away in a storm leaving a rocky shoreline. Last month a freak tide dumped thousands of tonnes of sand back onto the 300m (328 yard) beach. Residents are thrilled to have their beach back, and a local tourist office spokesman told of gridlock as cars and campervans came from all over Ireland and the UK to see the beach. Dr Ivan Haigh of the University of Southampton suggested two possible reasons for the sand's return - either a change in sediment supply or environmental changes leading to a new series of tides or wave changes.
ARRRR! Well, OK, it might not be a pirate trove, but while digging in the garden of a house in Welwyn, Hertforshire, the homeowner's sister found a box of "treasure" that had been buried by a 13-year-old boy who was living there in 1981. The box contained empty jars, bottles, coins, stamps, "typical 1981 electrical components", a cassette tape and notes detailing not only the contents of the box but also the boy who left it, his family and neighbours. House owner Maja Sobieska launched a Facebook appeal to track down Paul Levallois, who buried the 'treasure' on 27th March 1981 and who would now be 48.
IN BRIEF: Lenticular cloud shaped like Concorde photographed over Ribblehead viaduct. Network of British cycle ways being rediscovered using Google Street View. New claimed sighting of Loch Ness Monster after nine months' absence. Reported UFO sightings have tripled in last 16 years. Mothman sighted in Chicago. Bungalow for sale in Ontario, Canada for CA$135,000 (£76,237; $98,443) complete with 1,500 clown dolls, ornaments and decorations. Mayor of Italian village of Bormida offering money for people to move there and stop it becoming deserted. World's fattest man, who used to weigh over half a ton sheds 27 and a half stone (174.6kg) before undergoing bariatric surgery in hope of being able to walk again. Australian woman buys 1,300 boxes of Birds Eye frozen waffles after company announces withdrawal of product from country. Ghost resembling Ringu's Sadako captured on car park nighttime CCTV before vanishing. Chinese traffic police pull over six-seater minivan for being overloaded; 40 builders climb out. Woman swallows 70 $100 (£77) notes during fight with husband. Russian man arrested under anti-terror legislation for talking about yoga. 'Earthquake predictor' forecasts magnitude 7-9 quake to hit US before May 13, based on (discredited theory of) planetary alignments. Lens flare in photo of Sun mistaken for predicted cataclysm-causing planet 'Nibiru'. Pareidolia of Jesus seen in clouds after Columbian landslide killed 17. Prediction of 'massive' asteroid strike on Earth in June.
HBO, George R.R. Martin planning multiple Game of Thrones spin-offs. H.G. Wells' The War of the Worlds to be adapted to 3-part UK TV series by Peter Harness (Doctor Who, Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell). Alien: Covenant opens to mixed reviews. Amanda Coe (Apple Tree Yard) adapting Black Narcissus for BBC TV. Bill Clinton co-authors White House-set thriller with James Patterson. Blur drummer Dave Rowntree putting "music side on hold" after being elected to Norfolk County Council. Heidi Thomas (Call the Midwife) adapting Little Women for BBC TV. Carly Simon reveals missing fourth verse of You're So Vain, still tight-lipped on song's subject. Halo: Combat Evolved, Donkey Kong, Street Fighter II, Pokémon Red and Pokémon Green inducted into World Video Game Hall of Fame. 1997 Eurovision Song Contest winner Katrina Lesakanich to relay UK jury vote for this year's contest on Saturday; Australia through to Eurovision final again. Open casting call for new Idris Elba-directed film shut down after police called to deal with crowd size. Irish police open then close blasphemy probe into Stephen Fry interview. ITV News censured for including footage of Alien 'chestburster' scene in John Hurt obituary package at 9.25am on January 28 immediately after block of children's shows. Line of Duty recommissioned for sixth series before fifth begins filming. 60s singer Mary Hopkin auctioning collection of outfits and memorabilia. Miranda Hart returning to TV with her mother for More4 gardening show. Heavy rain and hailstorm force early end to red carpet event at MTV Movie & TV Awards. More than 25 UK music festival websites to go dark on Monday to highlight campaign against sexual assault. Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross unveil song written for Banksky's Walled Off Hotel in Bethlehem. Pink Floyd exhibition opens at V&A in London. Glastonbury adds Billy Bragg, Alison Moyet, Dreadzone. TLC reunite for Camden, London, gig. Steve McQueen chosen to direct Tupac Shakur biopic. After first attempt by 21st Century Fox to take over Sky was scuppered by the phone hacking scandal, second attempt may be dashed by Fox News' sexual harrassment cases as Ofcom hear from one of the victims in review into whether 21st Century Fox is 'fit and proper' to take control of Sky. 13 Reasons Why picked up for second season. Natalie Lowe quits Strictly Come Dancing after 7 years; Latin dance expert and former champion Shirley Ballas named as new head judge. British-born Vogue editor Anna Wintour made a dame; political cartoonist Peter Brookes receives CBE; singer Marty Wilde receives MBE. Scandal to end after season 7. Ridley Scott to begin filming Alien: Covenant sequel "within 14 months". FXX, Marvel developing Deadpool animated series. Dispute between Cannes Film Festival and Netflix sees Cannes demand that all films in competition from next year must have theatrical release. Edinburgh Film Festical to close with England Is Mine.
Actress Mary Tsoni (Dogtooth, 30), DJ Robert Miles (Children, 47), actress Quinn O'Hara (The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini, The Cry of the Banshee, 76), actor Michael Parks (Kill Bill, Twin Peaks, 77), TV producer Michael Wearing (Edge of Darkness, 78), mountaineer Min Bahadur Sherchan (one-time oldest man to climb Everest, 85), actor & Holocaust survivor Curt Lowens (Werewolf in a Girls' Dormitory, Angels & Demons, 91), actor Geoffrey Bayldon (Catweazle, Gawain and the Green Knight, 93).
This week, Mutts, the daily comic strip by Patrick McDonnell about Mooch the cat, his friend Earl the dog and the animals around them. Routinely one of the best strips we have seen since Calvin & Hobbes.- http://www.mutts.com/
^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:20, 32, 37, 48, 55, 58[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.
Little Jennifer came home from playing with her friend Little Susan a couple of houses away. "Did you have fun, Little Jennifer?" her mother asked.
"Yes, Mummy. Little Susan's parents gave her a kitten for her birthday, and it's so sweet. Can I have a kitten?"
"I'm sorry, Little Jennifer, your father is allergic to cats."
"What does that mean, Mummy?"
"It means he can't be in a house with cats or he'll keep sneezing and scratching."
"Well, Mummy, Daddy could always live in the garage!"
Little Jennifer's mother paused before replying, "No, Little Jennifer. Sorry."
^ ...end of line