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Issue #467 - 16th March 2018
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Friday 16th March - Roman emperor Tiberius died, 37. Around 150 Jews were massacred at Clifford's Tower in York, 1190. Henry IV, Duke of Saxony, born, 1473. Anne Neville, queen of Richard III of England, died, 485. The Royal Welch Fusiliers was founded, as the 23rd Regiment of Foot, 1689. Scientist Carlo Amoretti born, 1741. Robert Goddard launched the first liquid-fuelled rocket, 1926. Comedian, writer & actress Jenny Eclair born, 1960. Actor & singer Frank Sinatra, Jr died, 2016. Day of the Book Smugglers in Lithuania. Saturday 17th March - Harold Harefoot, King of Engand, died, 1040. Edward, the Black Prince, was made Duke of Cornwall, 1337. King James IV of Scotland born, 1473. Princess Sophia of Sweden died, 1611. The Siege of Boston in the American Revolution ended as British forces evacuated from the city, 1776. Author & illustrator Kate Greenaway born, 1846. University of California, Berkeley, researchers announced the discovery of element 98, named "californium", 1950. Singer & drummer Caroline Corr born, 1973. Actress & director Mai Zetterling died, 1994. St Patrick's Day in Ireland and various other countries. Sunday 18th March - Caligula was proclaimed emperor of Rome, 37. Jacques de Molay, last Grand Master of the Knights Templar, burned at the stake, 1314. Mary Tudor, Queen of France born, 1496. The New York Conspiracy of 1741 began with an arson attack on the governor's complex at Fort George, 1741. Writer Laurence Sterne died, 1768. Grover Cleveland, 22nd & 24th President of the United States, born, 1837. Cosmonaut Alexey Leonov carried out the first spacewalk, from Voskhod 2, 1965. Actress Natasha Richardson died, 2009. Monday 19th March - The Song dynasty in China ended with a Mongol victory at the Battle of Yamen, 1279. Poet Arthur Brooke died, 1563. Artist & sculptor Alonzo Cano born, 1601. Mineralogist & geologist Wilhelm Karl Ritter von Haidinger died, 1871. Auguste & Louis Lumière made the first recording using their newly-patented cinematograph, 1895. Magician & comedian Tommy Cooper born, 1921. Writer Edgar Rice Burroughs died, 1950. Actress Rachel Blanchard born, 1976. Argentinian forces landed on South Georgia, precipitating the Falklands War with the United Kingdom, 1982. Tuesday 20th March - Poet Ovid born, 43 BCE. king Henry IV of England died, 1413. Sir Walter Raleigh was freed from the Tower of London after 13 years' imprisonment, 1616. Physicist Sir Isaac Newton died, 1726. Playwright Henrik Ibsen born, 1828. Mendoza, Argentina, was devastated by an earthquake, 1861. Actress Freema Agyeman born, 1979. Libby Riddles became the first woman to win the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race, 1985. Writer James Herbert died, 2013. World Sparrow Day. World Storytelling Day. The vernal equinox in the northern hemisphere; autumnal equinox in the southern hemisphere. Wednesday 21st March - The marriage of King Louis VII of France & Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine was annulled, 1152. Noblewoman Anne Brooke, Baroness Cobham, born, 1501. Algonquian princess Pocahontas died, 1617. The Code Napoléon was adopted as civil law in France, 1804. Composer Modest Mussorgsky born, 1839. Suffragette Evelina Haverfield died, 1920. Charles Lindbergh received the Medal of Honor for making the first solo trans-Atlantic flight, 1928. Hurdler Kim Turner born, 1961. Comedian Ernie Wise died, 1999. World Poetry Day. World Down Syndrome Day. International Day of Forests. International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination. Thursday 22nd March - Danish invaders defeated Æthelred of Wessex at the Battle of Marton, 871. Persian sultan, astronomer & mathematician Ulugh Beg born, 1394. George of Podĕbrady, King of Bohemia, died, 1471. The British Parliament passed the Stamp Act, a direct tax levied on the American colonies, 1765. Writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe died, 1832. Artist Dorothy Tennant born, 1855. Film producer Mike Todd died in a plane crash, 1958. Actress Reese Witherspoon born, 1976. Intel shipped the first Pentium (80586) microprocessor chips, with a 60 MHz clock speed, 1993. World Water Day.
This week, an Irish toast:When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk we fall asleep. When we sleep, we do not sin. When we do not sin, we go to Heaven. So let's get drunk and go to Heaven.
A selection of quotations from films with a common actor or actress. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were from films starring Tilda Swinton:
- They say your whole life flashes before your eyes when you die. And it's true, even for a blind man.
- One gay beer for my gay friend, one normal beer for me because I am normal.
- Making himself a thirteenth god! He's drunk so much wine, my poor Phillip, he's lost his mind.
- - I'm going to be over to kill you Tuesday.
- That's good, I'm not doing anything Tuesday.- - What is that thing?
- Swooping Evil!
- Well, I love it!
- She's lived for 400 years and hardly aged a day; but, because this is England, everyone pretends not to notice.
-- Orlando [1992]- - What were you all doing in the wardrobe?
- You wouldn't believe us if we told you, sir.
-- The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe [2005]- I think she's the saddest girl to ever hold a martini.
-- Vanilla Sky [2001]- - How's your Sanskrit?
- I'm fluent in Google Translate.
-- Doctor Strange [2016]- There's really no point in doing anything in life because it's all over in the blink of an eye, and the next thing you know, rigor mortis sets in.
-- The Grand Budapest Hotel [2014]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
- HISTORY! DNA analysis of C5th-C6th female skeletons with elongated skulls discovered in Bavaria has shown that they were not indigenous but could have migrated from further east to marry Hun men. ● Divers are to search an area of the English Channel for the wreck of a Hercules C-130E transport plane that was stolen by a mechanic in May 1969 in a bid to fly back to his wife in Virginia, after a heavy drinking session. The team studied official records of the crash, tide movements and weather conditions, and believe they have narrowed down the location to one of five "good targets" mid-channel, about 30 miles off Portland Bill. ● A scientist is claiming that bones found on Nikumaroro, a coral atoll 1,200 miles from the Marshall Islands in the western Pacific Ocean, in 1940, could be those of missing aviator Amelia Earhart. At the time of their discovery, three years after Earhart's disappearance during an attempt to fly around the world, Dr David Hoodless, of the Central Medical School in Fiji, dismissed them as being from a man, based on their measurements. Dr Richard Janz, of the the University of Tennessee, has now criticised the original methods as "inadequate to the task". The bones have since been lost, but Janz analysed pictures of Earhart and used her clothing measurements to compare against 2,776 other people to conclude that the Nikumaroro bones have a 99% probablity of being from Amelia Earhart. Countering claims that the bones could have been from Earhart's navigator, Captain Fred Noonan, Janz noted that Hoodless had calculated the height of the individual as around 5' 5½" (1.66m), while Noonan was 6' ¼" (1.84m) tall. ● Researchers at the Mary Rose are x-raying cannonballs found on the wreck to find their structure and, hopefully, a means of preserving them - at present they have to be kept out of display in low humidity conditions.
- WILDLIFE! Fifteen fossils of Kerygmachela kierkegaardi, a Cambrian era oceanic predator between 1" (2.54cm) & 10" (25.4cm) long, have shed light on the evolution of panarthropods, such as tardigrades ("water bears") and arthropods, like insects and crustaceans. The fossils are the first of the species found to have avoided environmental damage, and have traces of their nervous tissue, disproving the theory that panarthropod ancestors had complex three-part brains, as modern arthropods do. The Kerygmachela brains are closer in structure to that of modern tardigrades, suggesting that arthropod brains developed later along their evolutionary tree. ● An international team using x-rays to study the bones of Archaeopteryx, the winged dinosaur, has suggested that it flew in a similar manner to modern day pheasants, using short bursts of flight, coupled with running, to escape from predators. ● A 3"- (7.6cm)-long fossilised tooth belonging to a Megalodon, possibly the largest sea creature ever, which died out 2.6 million years ago, was stolen from a secret location on the western Australian coast this week. The tooth had been chiselled off the rock it had been found attached to, and had been concealed under other rocks to keep its location secret.
- SCIENCE! Scientists have recreated the atmospheric haze of Saturn's moon Titan in a laboratory, and claim that exoplanets could have similar hydrocarbon-rich atmospheres. ● Boaty McBoatface, the autonomous yellow submarine that will be carried on the RRS Sir David Attenborough has passed its first field test, travelling under an almost 600m- (1969')-thick Antarctic ice shelf for 48 hours before returning to its launch ship, the RV Polarstern of the Alfred Wegener Institute for Polar and Marine Research in Bremerhaven, partners in the Filcher Ice Shelf Project with the British Antarctic Survey. Boaty McBoatface was operated by the National Oceanographic Centre. ● The Juno probe has revealed that the famous banded cloud structure of Jupiter stretches down 3,000km (1,864 miles). if the Juno mission is extended there are hopes that it could reveal what is below the clouds, current theories being either a solid or semi-solid core. ● A new mineral, calcium silicate perovskite, has been discovered embedded in a diamond. The mineral would not normally exist at the Earth's surface because the drop in pressure as it rose through the planet would cause its carbon bonds to rearrange, but the diamond held it together. It is thought to have originated more than 400 miles (644km) below the surface and was dug up in South Africa's Cullinan Mine. ● Britain's National Health Service is to end funding for the pseudoscience of homeopathy at the Royal London Hospital for Integrated Medicine. ● Robotics developers in America have created a robot including two Playstation Eye cameras that can solve a Rubik's Cube puzzle in 0.38 seconds, well below the current world record time of 0.637 seconds, but it also frequently destroys the cube.
- PEOPLE! Professor Robert E Kelly, who went viral online after a BBC News interview from his study was interrupted by his young children, sparked concern online this week after another interview seemed to show that he had done major reworking on his study, possibly to stop the children getting back in, but Kelly responded after 1,200 retweets that "[..] I guess I should say this was only bc I am travelling and had to use a laptop. Once I'm home, it will be the same setup as always.". ● John Farnworth has taken 10 days to reach the base camp on Mount Everest - while doing soccer 'keepy uppies', in aid of charity. ● Michelin star winning Italian chef Carlo Cracco has incurred the wrath of Italians after introducing a "healthy" version of the margherita pizza in his Milan restaurant. The new margherita includes wholemeal grains and cereals, petal-shaped mozzarella pieces and a thick tomato sauce. One critic commented that Cracco had recently lost one of his two Michelin stars, and after introducing his pizza, should lose his other star, his Italian citizenship and his driving license, and that migrant Egyptian cooks who often work at pizzerias in Italy could do better. At least Cracco did not put pineapple on it...
- CRIME! 32-year-old Arizona bride Amber Young was involved in 3-car collision on the way to her wedding this week, was subsequently arrested under suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol, handcuffed and carted off to a police station in the back of a police car - in her wedding dress. It was not reported whether she made it to the church on time... ● Thames Valley Police stopped a driver in Milton Keynes and found that not only was the car uninsured but the driver's UK licence bore a picture of TV cartoon character Homer Simpson, the name 'Homer Simpson' and a US address (although not the correct one for The Simpsons). The driver was reported to court for the offence of uninsured driving and the offence of having a fake licence. Twitter responded with a collective "D'oh!"
IN BRIEF: Council in Northern Ireland to scrap £23,000- ($32,097)-per-year self-cleaning fully automated 'superloo' as it is "too expensive" to rent. ● Amazon are trying to fix Alexa voice assistant devices that have begun cackling at random times of day or night, and in once case, reading out a list of local funeral parlours. ● The burger-flipping robot reported on in a previous TFIr was taken offline after just one day because it was too slow. ● Pub in Birmingham, England, selling Creme Egg Yorkshire pudding - two chocolate sponge cakes with orange and yellow fondant between them, decorated with Cadbury's Creme Eggs, all in a giant Yorkshire pudding. ● Dispute over power supplies between Kosovo & Serbia results in mainland European electricity supply losing synchronised frequency and clocks losing up to six minutes since mid-January. ● There was uproar in Cornwall after the National Trust advertised its cream teas at Lanhydrock with a picture of scones topped with clotted cream with jam on top - as it is done in Devon, not Cornwall, where the cream is on top. Lanhydrock's Visitor Experience manager noted the upset and promised that the person responsible had been sent back across the Tamar (the river separating Devon and Cornwall), but denied plans to rename the property 'Jamhydrock'... ● Reading chicken restaurant Fernando's receives letter from Nando's chain accusing them of intellectual property theft over their name and chicken logo, seven months after opening. ● An Post, the Irish postal service, successfully deliver parcel with unreadable name and barely legible address to the correct address. ● Some conspiracy theorists are claiming that Google are trying to announce something secret because a large icon with a red 'x' appears if you hover your mouse over a point on Antarctica; debunkers suggest that it is more likely just a software glitch. ● Burger King launching bacon cheeseburger dubbed the 'Bacon King' with 2 quarterpounders and 8 slices of bacon. ● Lego hiring Master Model Builder. ● French parents have been taken to court for calling their daughter Liam, told it "would be likely to create a risk of gender confusion" when she grows up, and that the court will set a name if they cannot come up with something more suitable.
Defence manufacturer BAE withdraws as sponsor of Great Exhibition of the North after a number of bands cancel appearances in protest. Barack, Michelle Obama in talks with Netflix; speculation ranges from chaired discussions on public issues to, er, buddy cop show with Joe Biden... Beyonce, Jay-Z finally confirm joint tour, On The Run II. Worldwide takings for Black Panther pass $1bn (£794m), fifth of modern Marvel films to do so. Former UKIP leader Nigel Farage stokes anger of Rage Against the Machine by calling his podcast "Farage Against the Machine". Morcheeba release first album in 5 years. Set of over 350 mostly-unreleased photos of The Beatles taken by US teenager with press access to part of 1964 US tour to be auctioned in Liverpool. Eminem uses iHeart Radio Awards appearance to slam NRA over recent spree shootings. Bono apologises after reports of bullying and abuse at co-founded charity One. Tim McGraw collapses with dehydration on stage in Dublin. Epic warns Fortnite players of account hacking. Grammys appoint Time's Up protest leader Tina Tchen to head task force on gender inclusivity in music industry. Mattel introduce Barbie dolls based on "inspiring women", leads to legal row over who owns the rights to the image of Mexican artist Frida Kahlo. Jarvis Cocker to tour small UK venues. ITV bringing back Who Wants To Be a Millionnaire? for a week to mark 20th anniversary, hosted by Jeremy Clarkson. Management company representing K-Pop band Big Bang issue plea to fans to stop sending email letters to singer G-Dragon at the military base where he is doing compulsory military service as all emails are printed out before being given to soldiers and the base is running out of paper and ink, interrupting mail to other recruits. Nintendo announce Super Smash Brothers to be released on Switch console. Taylor Swift accused of plagiarising Kenzo perfume advert for "Delicate" music video. Long-assumed-vapourware Ataribox games console prototypes to be displayed at San Francisco Games Developer Conference next month. Cranberries to rerelease Everybody Else Is Doing It So Why Can't We? debut album to mark 25th anniversary, finish new album for release early next year, in tribute to late lead singer Dolores O'Riordan. Executive producer of Netflix' The Crown confirms that Claire Foy was payed less for playing Queen Elizabeth II than Matt Smith was for playing Prince Philip; leads to be recast (presumably on equal pay) for next series, set in mid-70s. Author Jennifer Nansubuga Makumbi named as one of the eight winners of Windham Campbell Prizes from Yale University. Rapper Tyler, the Creator, explains cancellation of South American tour as "sometimes a duck isn't a jean jacket"... First full trailer for Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald released. Apparently Laura Dern can be heard going "pew" at least once as her Star Wars: Episode VIII: The Last Jedi fires her gun. Aidan Gillan playing comedian Dave Allen in BBC biopic. Channel 4 to air royal satire The Windsors wedding special in May. Maisie Williams reveals that she nearly skipped her audition for Game of Thrones to go on a school trip to a pig farm. Jacqueline Wilson bringing back Tracy Beaker 27 years after original book publication - as a single mother.
Rapper Craig Mack ("Flava in Ya Year", collaborations with P Diddy, 46), author Mary Rosenblum (The Drylands, The Stone Garden, 65), genome scientist Sir John Sulston (Human Genome Project, 2002 Nobel laureate, 75), physicist Stephen Hawking (A Brief History of Time, Hawking radiation from black holes, 76), comedian, actor & TV host Jim Bowen (Bullseye, 80), album cover artist Gary Burden (Morrison Hotel, After the Gold Rush, Desparado, 84), comedian Sir Ken Dodd ("Happiness", legendarily overrunning shows, the Diddy Men, 90), fashion designer Hubert de Givenchy (the "little black dress", Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Jackie Kennedy, 91).
In honour of World Poetry Day on Wednesday, it's the Poem Generator...- https://www.poem-generator.org.uk/
^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:4, 22, 23, 25, 40, 59[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.
Little Jennifer's parents were sitting out in the garden one sunny summer afternoon in the school holidays when Little Jennifer emerged from the house looking thoughtful. She walked over to stand in front of them. "Mummy," she said.
"Yes, Little Jennifer, what is it?"
"You know that old, expensive glass ornament you're always worried that I'll break?"
Her father raised an eyebrow. "What about it?" her mother asked.
Little Jennifer smiled sweetly, as only Little Jennifer could. "Well you can stop worrying!"
^ ...end of line
