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Issue #468 - 23rd March 2018
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| Contents | — – o o O o o – — |
^ WORD OF THE WEEK
vernal |
Friday 23rd March - Waltham Abbey became the last religious community to be surrendered to King Henry VIII of England in the Dissolution of the Monasteries, 1540. French politician Nicolas Fouquet died in prison, 1680. Mathematician & astronomer Pierre-Simon Laplace born, 1749. Tsar Paul I of Russia was struck with a sword, strangled and trampled to death in his bedroom, 1801. Elisha Otis' first elevator was installed in New York City, 1857. Nobel Peace Prize laureate Ludwig Quidde born, 1858. David Frost recorded the first of the 12 Nixon Interviews with the former US President, 1977. Runner Mo Farah born, 1983. Actress & humanitarian Elizabeth Taylor died, 2011. World Meteorological Day. Saturday 24th March - Georgius Agricola, the 'father of mineralogy', born, 1494. Queen Elizabeth I of England died, 1603. Johann Sebastian Bach dedicated six concertos to Margrave Christian Ludwig of Brandenburg-Schwedt, 1721. Textile designer & writer William Morris born, 1834. HMS Eurydice sank in a storm, one of the worst peace-time disasters in British naval history, 1878. Novelist Jules Verne died, 1905. Stuntwoman & drag car racer Kitty O'Neil born, 1946. Elvis Presley was drafted into the U.S. Army, 1958. Explorer Auguste Piccard died, 1962. World Tuberculosis Day. Sunday 25th March - Samurai Taira no Masakado ws killed in battle, 940. Robert the Bruce was crowned King of Scots, 1306. Giuliano de' Medici, co-ruler of Florence, born, 1453. Slavery was abolished across the British Empire with the passing of the Abolition of the Slave Trade Act, 1807. Mathematician & cartographer Caspar Wessel died, 1818. Writer & poet Mary Webb born, 1881. Composer Claude Debussy died, 1918. Copies of Alan Ginsberg's poem Howl were seized by U.S. Customs on obscenity grounds, 1957. Figure skater Debi Thomas born, 1967. Tolkien Reading Day. International Day of Remembrance of the Victims of Slavery and the Transatlantic Slave Trade. Monday 26th March - Alessandra Giliani, the first recorded female anatomist, died. 1326. William Caxton printed his translation of Aesop's Fables, 1484. Artist Mary Beale born, 1633. Architect John Vanbrugh died, 1726. The word 'gerrymander' first appeared alongside a political cartoon in the Boston Gazette, 1812. Poet Robert Frost born, 1874. The Biological Weapons Convention came into force, 1975. Historian & spy Anthony Blunt died, 1983. Actress Keira Knightley born, 1985. Purple Day in the United States & Canada. Tuesday 27th March - Explorer Juan Ponce de León reached the northern end of the Bahamas, 1513. King James VI of Scotland and I of England & Ireland, died, 1625. Botanist Jane Colden born, 1724. Scotland defeated England in the first international rugby football match, at Raeburn Park in Edinburgh, 1871. Sculptor Kathleen Scott born, 1878. Architect George Gilbert Scott died, 1878. Two Boeing 747 aircraft collided on a foggy runway on Tenerife, killing 583 people, 1977. Singer-songwriter Jessie J born, 1988. Actor Dudley Moore died, 2002. International Whisk(e)y Day. World Theatre Day. Wednesday 28th March - Artist Raphael born, 1483. The foundation stone of Valetta, capital city of Malta, was laid, 1566. Russian king Ivan the Terrible died, 1584. Abolitionist Thomas Clarkson born, 1760. The Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra played their first concert, 1842. Actor Dirk Bogarde born, 1921. Writer Virginia Woolf committed suicide, 1941. The government of Tibet was dissolved by the State Council of the People's Republic of China, 1959. General & 34th President of the United States, Dwight D. Eisenhower died, 1969. Thursday 29th March - Viking raiders sacked Paris, 845. Biologist Santorio Santorio born, 1561. Quebec, Acadia & Cape Breton Island were returned to French control with the signing of the Treaty of Saint-Germain, 1632. Composer Nicolaus Bruhns died, 1692. Adventurer Jørgen Jørgensen born, 1780. Explorer Robert Falcon Scott died [assumed date], 1912. The Terracotta Army was discovered in Shaanxi province, China, 1974. Tennis player Jennifer Capriati born, 1976. Actress Patty Duke died, 2016.
This week, Elizabeth Taylor:You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot in front of the other, and God damn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That's how I've done it. There's no other way.
A selection of quotations from films with a common actor or actress. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were from films starring Colin Farrell:
- Sometimes it seems to me that the difference between what we want and what we fear is the width of an eyelash.
- Sometimes we pay so much attention to our enemies, we forget to watch our friends as well.
- The course of true love never did run smooth.
- Here I am, Frankie; I finally made it.
- Honest to God woman, I never thought I'd see you in such a state, you must miss him dreadfully.
- They say your whole life flashes before your eyes when you die. And it's true, even for a blind man.
-- Daredevil [2003]- One gay beer for my gay friend, one normal beer for me because I am normal.
-- In Bruges [2008]- Making himself a thirteenth god! He's drunk so much wine, my poor Phillip, he's lost his mind.
-- Alexander [2004]- - I'm going to be over to kill you Tuesday.
- That's good, I'm not doing anything Tuesday.
-- Seven Psychopaths [2012]- - What is that thing?
- Swooping Evil!
- Well, I love it!
-- Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them [2016]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
- HISTORY! Archaeologists working in Kenya's rift valley have suggested that early humans may have developed trade and advanced social behaviour 100,000 years earlier that previously believed. For around 700,000 years humans in the area were making stone hand axes, but a lengthy period of violent climate change and volcanic activity 500,000 years ago left the region - and its plant and animal life - transformed. Although the tectonic shifts created a 180,000 year gap in the geological record, it is clear that there were significant changes, with technology shifting to smaller blades made from the volcanic glass obsidian, which could only be obtained 25-95km (16-59 miles) away, suggesting both travel and trade activity. ● Retired Australian mechanical engineer Peter McMahon, 64, claims to have found the wreck of Flight MH370, which disappeared in March 2014, along with its 239 passengers & crew. A joint search operation by Australia, China & Malaysia ended in July 2017 without success, but McMahon, who has spent the time poring over images from NASA and Google Maps claims to have found the outline of an aircraft below the waves south of Round Island, an islet north of Mauritius. He further suggests that governments deliberately withheld information about the disappearance and the 'true' location of the plane, perhaps because it was accidentally shot down during a live-fire military exercise. Other conspiracy theories claim aliens, subterfuge (MH370 flying beneath another plane into India) & the Illuminati - because the Boeing 777 was the 404th plane of its type to be made and, er, on the World Wide Web, error 404 means "file not found", though what the connection between HTML error codes and alleged secret societies is we do not know...
- WILDLIFE! Footage of the first polar bear cub to be born in the UK in 25 years has been released. The cub was born at the Highland Wildlife Park near Kincraig last December, and has been kept in isolation from the public - and its father - since then. It is not yet known if it is male or female. ● As noted in the Obituaries below, Sudan, the last male northern white rhinoceros has died, after age-related illness worsened significantly and keepers decided to euthenise him. The only two surviving northern white rhino are both female, but sperm samples from Sudan and eggs from the females are being kept frozen and it is hoped that in-vitro processes could see the species continued in the future. Sudan was the equivalent of roughly 90 human years old. The northern white rhino was declared extinct in the wild in 2008, a victim of poaching for their horns, used in traditional Chinese medicide & as dagger handles in Yemen. ● Whipsnade Zoo in England is overlooked by a 147m- (483')-long white chalk lion, cut into a hillside in 1933. The figure, like the more famous chalk horses across England, has deteriorated over the years, but now 800 tonnes of unwanted chalk dug from a local residence has been used to revitalise it.
- SCIENCE! Analysis of an intense signal picked up by radio telescopes in November 2014 and a further signal 13 days later has been postulated to be evidence of a supermassive black hole devouring a star and the subsequent jet of radiation and particles known to be emitted by black holes. ● The biohacker we reported on in an earlier TFIr whose implanted travel card chip had been deactivated by the New South Wales Transport Authority has been fined A$220 (£120, $170) for cutting the chip out of its card and implanting it into his hand. He admitted the charge in court. Mr Meow-Ludo Disco Gamma Meow-Meow (yes, really) also warned people not to try doing the same thing (his chip was encased in plastic and inserted by a qualified body piercer) unless they knew what they were doing. ● Last week we brought you news of a previously unknown element discovered in a diamond, this week scientists at the University of Nevada in Las Vegas have announced the discovery of traces of water inside occlusions in deep-formed diamonds, suggesting that there may be liquid water as far down as 500 miles (805km), the boundary between the upper and lower mantle, where pressure is over 200 times greater than at the bottom of the Challenger Deep in the Mariana Trench, the deepest known point on the Earth's crust. ● Nectome, a biomedical start-up, has announced that it can survey the connectomes, or neural connections, in a human brain, and effectively back it up, to be reproduced as a computer simulation at some point in the future, once computing power becomes great enough. There is one small problem at the moment - the process needs a fresh brain which will be embalmed before being scanned, as even a couple of hours' delay can cause irreparable damage, so only those at - or near - the point of death can be considered. They have already attempted their technique on a just-deceased woman in Oregon. Scientific opinion is devided on whether connectome scanning can preserve memories or identity. ● Scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have developed a new crystalline material from layers of iron and tin atoms arranged in the triangular pattern of Japanese kagome woven baskets. The material conducts electicity but electrons behave strangely in it, veering sideways or travelling backwards, in a similar manner to the Quantum Hall effect, so far only seen at ultra-low temperatures, but working in the new material at room temperatures. ● Analysis of 21 studies of yeast cells has found that there are 42 million proteins in a cell at any one time, much to the joy of fans of Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, in which 42 is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything. [We would also point out that this came from 21 studies, and 21 is half of 42... -Ed]
- PEOPLE! CCTV footage in Boston last week caught a police van caught in snow being pushed clear by a man dressed as Elsa from Frozen. ● Traverse City, Michigan, resident Joe Otte likes Burger King, visiting a local branch most days. When he turned up on one day recently he found that they were remodelling the interior of the restaurant and all the old fixtures and fittings were out on the sidewalk, so he asked the manager about them and was told to "take what you want." He gathered some friends and hauled almost everything - booths included - back to his house, from where he auctioned most of it online to fellow Burger King fans.
- CRIME! Controversial taxi-hire firm Uber has suspended tests of self-driving cars in Arizona after one of them hit and killed a pedestrian in Tempe. It is the second incident involving their autonomous vehicles, but in the previous one nobody was injured though the car was flipped onto its side. ● Pedibike (motorbike towing a small trailer/seats) apparently caught on CCTV starting itself before ramming another vehicle. ● Arizona woman we reported on in the last issue as having been arrested on her way to her wedding claims she was not on the way to a wedding, but to lunch with a friend, and the dress was just a sun dress. ● A man stopped for driving while drunk and possessing marijuana in Virginia earlier this month tried to run away, crossing in front of his car, but he had forgotten to put it in park and it ran him over - police added a felony hit-and-run charge.
IN BRIEF: All mobile internet access was switched off in Bali last weekend to honour the Hindu Day of Silence for their New Year celebrations. ● Someone has added Gotham City, Middle Earth, Narnia, Emerald City & Neverland to road signs in Didcot, Oxfordshire. ● Daphne, the 18m- (59')-tall inflatable yellow duck mascot of the Cockburn Masters Swimming Club in Perth, Australia, was washed out to sea on March 11, and sighting came in from as far away as 440km (273 miles), but she was eventually recovered by a fisherman just 30km (19 miles) offshore. ● A plane taking off from Yakutsk airport in Siberia with a cargo of gold-silver alloy bars suffered a broken hatch leaving around 200 bars, each weighing 20kg (44lb) scattered along the runway. All the bars were recovered. ● Nibiru no-watch watch! David Meade might have gone quiet on the fictional planet (but see next item), but conspiracy theorist Matt Rogers is claiming that the pink haze & orange glow seen in the photographs of the sky at sunset are evidence of the approaching death planet... ● Meade has moved on from predicting global destruction by a non-existant planet to predicting global destruction by nuclear war as a result of Donald Trump's America First ideas and the UK government antagonising Russia by expelling diplomats following the attempted murder of a former Russian spy in England by Russian agents. ● Woman claims to have found hidden filter compartment in her washing machine - full of lost socks!
John Hodge, Danny Boyle confirmed as writer, director of 25th James Bond film (Daniel Craig's last); Boyle to start shooting on Richard Curtis scripted film within weeks. Ant McPartlin steps down from TV presenting "for the foreseeable future", seeks treatment, following DUI crash arrest. Ava DuVernay (Selma, A Wrinkle in Time) to direct The New Gods DC Comics superhero film. UK govt review of FM/DAB radio provision due later this spring (when DAB takeup is predicted to have hit 50%); BBC says full switchover talks are "premature" as "radio is better served by a mixed economy". Founder of Farm Bank mobile game accused of defrauding players, flees native Turkey. US National Recording Registry adds, amongst others, Kenny Loggins' "Footloose", Chic's "Le Freak", Bill Haley's "Rock Around the Clock", The Temptations' "My Girl", Tony Bennett's "I Left My Heart in San Francisco", Run DMC's album Raising Hell, Fleetwood Mac's Rumours album & 200 wax cylinders of members of the Sioux Yankton-Dakota tribe singing tribal songs and reciting stories. Harper Lee estate suing over theatrical production of To Kill a Mockingbird claiming significant changes made to characters, settings and legal proceedings in script by Aaron Sorkin. Speculation that sixth Arctic Monkeys album could be out in May. Elton John to release Revamp album of covers of his songs by the likes of Florence + The Machine, Coldplay, P!nk, Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga & al. Roger Daltrey to release solo album. Kate Nash to release new album Glow at end of March. Tomb Raider film reboot gets mixed reviews, most praising star Alicia Vikander while criticising plot, supporting characters. Nintendo Switch sets games console US record for installed base numbers in first year. Statue of David Bowie to be unveiled in Aylesbury later this month (Ziggy Stardust persona was debuted in the town); petition launched to change name of town to 'Aylesbowie'... British Library digitising 6.5m item collection of sound recordings, currently in over 40 formats from wax cylinders to MiniDiscs, before some of them degrade beyond usability. First photos of unrecognisable Renee Zellweger as Judy Garland in biopic released. Ringo Starr knighted for services to music 53 years after The Beatles were awarded MBEs, 21 years after Paul McCartney's knighthood. BBC axes Robot Wars for the second time. Weinstein Company files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Sex and the City's Cynthia Nixon to run for New York State governorship. UK Advertising Standards Authority considering toughening rules on social media 'endorsement' advertising. Mark Hamill to voice younger Luke Skywalker for Star Wars Forces of Destiny animated film showing Luke's training by Yoda on Dagobah. John Boyega confirms shooting on Star Wars: Episode IX will start under J.J. Abrams' direction in July, delayed after death of Carrie Fisher, whose Leia Organa would have been a focus of the film, necessitated rewrites. Boy George announces as-yet-unreleased 2017 Culture Club album Tribes will be released. John Carter Cash releasing collaborative album of his father Johnny Cash's unpublished songs & poetry. Sting performs song in his stage musical The Last Ship in Newcastle after actor taken ill. Long-awaited Atari retro mini-console finally gets name - 'Atari VCS'; preorders will begin in April, price expected to still be in $250-$300 (£178-£213 in theory, more likely £250-£300). Burnout Paradise Remastered enters UK games physical sales chart at #1 ahead of Kirby Star Allies & FIFA 18. Disney to make live action/CGI version of The Lady and the Tramp for streaming service due to launch next year. Fifth Indiana Jones film to start shooting next month. BBC to finally air Agatha Christie's Ordeal by Innocence pulled from schedule at Christmas after sexual assault allegations were made against actor Ed Westwick; all his scenes have been reshot with Christian Cooke. Channel 4 staying quiet on whether they will make a second series of Electric Dreams after falling UK ratings, but more positive response on Amazon Prime Video.
Sudan (last male northern white rhinoceros, 45), Scientology whistleblower Arnie Lerma (1995 posting of The Fishman Affidavit to Usenet, 67), TV presenter Katie Boyle (Eurovision Song Contest, Blankety Blank, continuity announcements, 91).
To mark Tolkien Reading Day on Sunday, this week's site is The Encyclopaedia of Arda.- http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/
^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:22, 25, 29, 32, 34, 39[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.
Little Jennifer came home after school one day and burst into tears. "Oh, Little Jennifer," her mother comforted her, "what's the matter?"
"Little Emma's sister said I look just you, Mummy," Little Jennifer wailed.
"What did you say to that?"
"Nothing, Mummy. She's bigger than me!"
^ ...end of line