The Friday Irregular
Issue #484 - 13th July 2018

Edited by and copyright ©2018 Simon Lamont

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  adj. having a wide mouth.


Friday 13th July   -   William I of Scotland was captured during the Revolt of 1173-74, 1174. Jadwiga, Queen of Poland, died, 1399. John Dee, astronomer, astrologer & mathematician, born, 1527. Charlotte Corday murdered French Revolution theorist, journalist & politician Jean-Paul Marat [see also Tuesday, below], 1793. With the signing of the Treaty of Berlin Serbia, Montenegro & Romania became independent of the Ottoman Empire, 1878. Historian Kenneth Clark born, 1903. Artist Frida Kahlo died, 1954. The Live Aid concerts took place in London & Philadelphia, and other countries around the world, 1985. Equestrian Charlotte Dujardin born, 1985.
Saturday 14th July   -   Eorcenberht, king of Kent, died, 664. Louis VIII acceded to the French throne, 1223. Poet Poliziano born, 1454. Parisians stormed the Bastille, 1789. American suffragist Kate M. Gordon born, 1861. Outlaw Billy the Kid was shot dead by Pat Garrett, 1881. Howard Hughes completed a record 91-hour flight around the world, 1938. Victoria, Crown Princess of Sweden, born, 1977. Actress Meredith MacRae died, 2000. Bastille Day in France & dependencies.
Sunday 15th July   -   The Roman army under Titus breached the walls of Jerusalem following a siege, 70. Russian prince Vladimir the Bold born, 1353. Lisa del Giocondo, subject of the Mona Lisa, died, 1542. The Rosetta Stone was discovered in Egypt, 1799. Suffragette Emmeline Pankhurst born, 1858. Playwright Anton Chekhov died, 1904. The first 18 of 52 Nobel laureates signed the Mainau Declaration against nuclear weapons, 1955. Drummer Jason Bonham born, 1966. Actor Martin Landau died, 2017.
Monday 16th July   -   The coronation of Richard II of England, 1377. Artist Andrea del Sarto born, 1486. Writer & poet Anne Askew burned at the stake, 1546. Swedish bank Stockholms Banco issued the first banknotes in Europe, 1661. Journalist & civil rights activist Ida B. Wells born, 1862. Mary Todd Lincoln, First Lady of the United States 1861-65, died, 1882. The Atomic Age began with the successful Trinity Test detonation in New Mexico, 1945. Actress Faye Grant born, 1957. Filmmaker George Romero died, 2017. Holocaust Memorial Day in France.
Tuesday 17th July   -   Anglo-Saxon king Edward the Elder died, 924. The Fourth Crusade captured Constantinople, 1203. Italian noblewoman Maria Salviati born, 1499. Catherine II became tsar of Russia, 1762. Philanthropist John Jacob Astor born, 1763. Charlotte Corday, murderer of Jean-Paul Marat [Friday, above], guillotined, 1793. Willis Carrier created the first air conditioner, 1902. Actress Catherine Schell born, 1944. Weapons inspector Dr David Kelly died under mysterious circumstances, 2003. World Day for International Justice. World Emoji Day 🙌.
Wednesday 18th July   -   The Great Fire of Rome began, 64. Chinese emperor Zhu Wen assassinated, 912. Astronomer & music theorist Hermann of Reichenau born, 1013. England & France agreed to the Truce of Leulinghem, leading to a 13-year peace during the Hundred Years' War, 1389. Artist Caravaggio died, 1610. Writer William Makepeace Thackeray born, 1811. Nadia Comăneci scored the first perfect 10 in Olympics gymnastics history, 1976. Actress Kristen Bell born, 1980. Singer-songwriter Nico died, 1988. Nelson Mandela Inernational Day.
Thursday 19th July   -   Scholar Muhammad al-Bukhari born, 810. Poet Petrarch died, 1374. The warship Mary Rose sank off Portsmouth; it would be salvaged 437 years later, 1545. Firearms manufacturer Samuel Colt born, 1814. Brunel's SS Great Britain, the largest ship at the time and the first ocean-going iron-hulled & screw propeller-driven vessel, was launched, 1843. Journalist & women's rights advocate Margaret Fuller died, 1850. Musician & astrophysicist Brian May born, 1947. Joe Walker flew an X-15 hypersonic aircraft to an altitude of 106,010m (347,800'), above the internationally agreed Kármán line marking the boundary of space, thus becoming America's 7th man in space, 1963. Actor James Garner died, 2014.


This week, William Makepeace Thackeray:
A good laugh is sunshine in a house.


A selection of quotations from films with a common actor or actress. Answers next issue or from the regular address. Last issue's quotations were from films starring Jim Carrey:


Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

IN BRIEF: Over 600 sightings of a meteor fireball made across various US states on Sunday night. ● Raccoon stood on live connectors at Seattle City Light substation, knocking out power to large chunk of city for several hours. ● YouGov poll to find Britain's favourite ice lolly results in fierce Twitter arguments over results - Magnum won, Solero 3rd, Feast 5th with many saying they are not ice lollies, but ice creams - and the definition of 'ice lolly'. ● All children and coach rescued from flooded Thai cave system [see last TFIr] after threat of worsening weather. ● China reportedly develops military laser rifle. ● Australian property developers name their new community 'Gilead', not a new name but perhaps unfortunately the name of the totalitarian theocratic anti-free-speech women-repressing republic in The Handmaiden's Tale. ● Surrey now hit by seventh quake of swarm in just over 12 weeks. ● Hull of the RRS Sir David Attenborough, the ship formally known as 'Boaty McBoatface', to be launched on Saturday. ● YouTube to add "authoritative links" alongside conspiracy theory videos. ● Crowdfunded nappy-clad, small-handed Donald Trump balloon to go on world tour after flying in Parliament Square during his (at time of writing) imminent visit to UK.

WORLD CUP WEIRDNESS: Clothes retailer Marks & Spencer sell out of waistcoats ahead of "Waistcoat Wednesday" when England play Croatia in the semi-finals, because team manager Gareth Southgate wears a waistcoat on the touchline. ● Actors in Titanic: The Musical stop performance to rail at two front row audience members who were watching England's game against Colombia on their phones and cheering at the penalty shoot-out goals despite front of house staff having asked for all phones to be switched off. [Could be worse - I was at a performance of Macbeth many years ago where someone took a flash photo only for the actor playing Macbeth to charge into the audience with daggers drawn to confront them... -Ed] ● Justin Bieber arranged for O2 Arena to open early ahead of his concert on Thursday night so fans - and he - could watch the England v Croatia match on the big screen. ● England fan Teddy Allen spent 4 hours getting large picture of Harry Kane and "Sir Harry", "World Cup Winners 2018" tattooed on his thigh ahead of semifinal game. [As of 10:00pm on Wednesday night he's probably regretting it... -Ed]


Banksy mural on disused Hull bridge to be cut out and stored safely to allow for demolition of bridge deemed a danger to shipping; ultimate relocation site undecided. ● Benidorm creator Derren Litton confirms cancellation of show after most recent, 10th series; story to continue in stage play opening September. ● Ant Man and the Wasp holds #1 US box office spot on second weekend. ● Drake's Scorpion becomes fastest album to rack up 1 billion streams in a week. ● DJ Khaled absent from Wireless festival for "travel issues" then "scheduling conflict" hours after tweeting that he was "still on vacation." ● Elvis Costello forced to cancel tour after surgery to remove "very aggressive" tumour. ● Gal Gadot makes surprise visit to Virginia children's hospital in full Wonder Woman costume. ● George Ezra holds off Drake for UK #1 single spot; this week's chart appears to be contest between football anthem The Lightning Seeds' "Football's Coming Home" in wake of [at time of writing] ongoing England success at World Cup and Green Day's "American Idiot" in advance of UK visit by "small-handed orange sex pest." ● Gin festivals across UK cancelled after organiser goes into administration. ● Set of signed Harry Potter first deluxe editions auctioned, reached estimated value of £9,000-£15,000 ($12,000-20,000). ● Joaquin Phoenix confirmed to star in green-lit Joker origins film. ● Ed Sheeran, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Chris Martin to play at inaugural Global Citizen Festival in Johannesburg, marking centenary of Nelson Mandela's birth. ● Emmanuelle Seigner, actress wife of Roman Polanski, turns down invitation to join AMPAS (Oscars-awarding organisation) in wake of their expulsion of Polanski a few weeks earlier, accuses them of "unsufferable hypocrisy". ● Keri Russell joins cast for Star Wars: Episode IX. ● Emily Eavis says Glastonbury 2019's Sunday afternoon legend slot will be a female performer, but does not say who. ● Fourth Robert Galbraithe (aka J.K. Rowling) Cormoran Strike novel, Lethal White to be published on 18 September. ● Plans for film about Thai cave rescue already underway. ● Andrew Davies to adapt unpublished Jane Austen novel Sandition for ITV. ● Filming wraps on Captain Marvel. ● The BBC iPlayer crashed during England's World Cup quarter-final match, as across all platforms 20m people watched. ● Sony accidentally uploaded entire Khalid the Killer film to YouTube instead of trailer; did not remove it until several hours later by which time it had thousands of views. ● Adam Kay to adapt This is Going to Hurt for BBC2. ● Speculation, despite no official word, that there might be a Doctor Who Christmas special after all, this year.


Former Thai Navy SEAL diver Saman Gunan (Tham Luang cave rescue, 38), cult leader Shoko Asahara (1995 Tokyo sarin attack, 63) & 7 followers, racehorse trainer John Dunlop (Shirley Heights, Erhaab, 78), cinematographer Robert Müller (Paris, Texas, Breaking the Waves, 78), choreographer Alan Johnson (Young Frankenstein, The Producers, triple Emmy winner, 81), actor/singer Tab Hunter (The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean, Damn Yankees, "Young Love", 86), comic book artist Steve Ditko (co-creator of Spider-Man, 90), documentary director Claude Lanzmann (Shoah, 92), politician Peter Carrington, 6th Baron Carrington (UK Foreign Secretary 179-1982, last-surviving member of Winston Churchill's 1950s government, 99).


Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:
7, 12, 13, 14, 22, 27
[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at


    The class were having a maths lesson. "Alright," the teacher said, "Little Jennifer, if you had eight chocolates and Little Simon took two of them, what would you have?"
    Little Jennifer pouted. "A fight, Miss!"

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