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Issue #493 - 14th September 2018
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| Contents | — – o o O o o – — |
^ WORD OF THE WEEK
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Friday 14th September - Domitian became emperor of the Roman Empire, 81. Byzantine emperor Constantine V died, 775. Anna of Mecklenburg-Schwerin, Landgravine of Hesse, born, 1485. Poet Thomas Overbury died, 1513. The Gregorian calendar was adopted across the British Empire, 1752. Margaret Sanger, nurse & family planning activist, born, 1879. OPEC, the Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries, was founded, 1960. Singer-songwriter Amy Winehouse born, 1983. Actor Patrick Swayze died, 2009. Saturday 15th September - Gilles de Rais, one of the earlist known serial killers, was arrested, 1440. Elisabeth of Bavaria died, 1504. Titus Oates, fabricator of the "Popish Plot" to kill King Charles II, born, 1649. Landscape architect André Le Nôtre died, 1700. Charles Darwin arived at the Galapagos Islands aboard HMS Beagle, 1835. Astronomer & computer Anna Winlock born, 1857. Muhammad Ali outpointed Leon Spinks to become the first boxer to win the world heavyweight title three times, in New Orleans, 1978. Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, born, 1984. Actor Harry Dean Stanton died, 2017. Battle of Britain Day in the United Kingdom. Sunday 16th September - King Charles V of France died, 1380. Owain Glyndŵr was proclaimed Prince of Wales, 1400. Mathematician Antoine Parent born, 1666. Poet Anne Bradstreet died, 1672. The Battle of Harlem Heights in the American Revolutionary War, 1776. Writer & activist Anna Kingsford born, 1846. Xerox demonstrated the Xerox 914, the first successful photocopier, 1959. Singer-songwriter Katie Melua born, 1984. Film producer Samuel Z. Arkoff died, 2001. Monday 17th September - Frankish king Charles the Simple born, 879. Boston, Massachusetts, was founded, 1630. Author Tobias Smollett died, 1771. Marthinus Wessel Pretorius, 1st President of the South African Republic, born, 1819. Harriet Tubman escaped from slavery, 1849. Outlaw Billy the Kid born, 1859. Photographer Henry Fox Talbot died, 1877. NASA unveiled Enterprise, the first Space Shuttle, 1976. Actor Dick Durock died, 2009. Tuesday 18th September - Roman emperor Trajan born, 53. Chinese warlord Zhang Xiong died, 893. Harald Hardrada invaded England, landing at Scarborough, 1066. Eleanor of Portugal, Holy Roman Empress, born, 1434. George Washington laid the first cornerstone of the Capitol building, 1793. Critic William Hazlitt died, 1830. The Faroe Islands declared independence from Denmark, 1946. Actress Tara Fitzgerald born, 1967. Filmmaker Russ Meyer died, 2004. World Water Monitoring Day. Wednesday 19th September - The English defeated the French at the Battle of Poitiers, 1356. Explorer Thomas Cavendish born, 1560. Accused Salem wizard Giles Corey executed by pressing, 1692. La Gloriosa (The Glorious Revolution) began in Spain, 1868. James Garfield, 20th President of the United States died, having been shot on July 2nd, 1881. Writer Rachel Field born, 1894. The first Glastonbury Festival was held, 1970. Comedian & talk show host Jimmy Fallon born, 1974. Actress Patricia Hayes died, 1998. Break out the grog! It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day, me hearties. Arr! Thursday 20th September - Saladin's forces beseiged Jerusalem, 1187. Arthur, Prince of Wales, born, 1486. Ferdinand Magellan set sail to circumnavigate the globe, 1519. Sir Anthony Babington, leader of the eponymous plot to assassinate Elizabeth I & install Mary, Queen of Scots, as Queen of England, hung, drawn & quartered, 1586. Poet Kate Harrington born, 1831. Mythologist Jacob Grimm died, 1863. Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs in the Battle of the Sexes tennis match, 1973. Sailor Laura Dekker, the youngest person to circumnavigate the globe single-handed, born, 1995. Soccer player & manager Brian Clough died, 2004.
This week, Mark Summers, aka Cap'n Slappy, co-founder of International Talk Like a Pirate Day:On this day like a pirate we prattle.
From Singapore on to Seattle.
We "ARRR!" and we "AYE!"
C'mon give it a try!
But it's all just for talk - not for battle.
A selection of quotations from films with a common actor or actress. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were from films starring Zoe Saldana:
- Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life. May 23rd was a Wednesday.
- The shit hath hitith the fan... ith.
- We both know that I now have to kill you. You'll just have to imagine the fire!
- Trust? Gentlemen, you seem to have forgotten that our chosen career is politics.
- Couldn't somebody have dreamt up a goddamn beach?
- What's the matter with you kids? You've never seen a spaceship before?
-- Avengers: Infinity Wars [2018]- You think you world is safe? It is an illusion. A comforting lie told to protect you. Enjoy these final moments of peace. For I have returned to have my vengeance. So, shall we begin?
-- Star Trek: Into Darkness [2013]- There's no such thing as an ex-marine. You may be out, but you never lose the attitude.
-- Avatar [2009]- - I'm gonna teach you the meaning of pain.
- You like pain? Try wearing a corset.
-- Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl [2003]- I'm a warrior, an assassin. I don't dance.
-- Guardians of the Galaxy [2014]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
- HISTORY! Archaeologists have unearthed a soapstone jar containing more than 300 gold coins dating to Ancient Roman times under the basement of a closed cinema in Como, Italy. The jar also contained a gold bar. The coins were wrapped in rolls and seem to have been buried for later retrieval in an emergency, possibly by a bank or other institution, rather than by a private individual. They have not been officially valued, but reports in the Italian media suggested that they could be worth millions of dollars. ● In the last field season archaologists in Egypt unearthed 802 ancient tombs at Lisht, Egypt. The cemetary at Lisht was already known about and lies between two pyramids, but the newly discovered tombs, buried under several feet of sand, were previously unknown, and date back roughly 4,000 years to Egypt's Middle Kingdom. Many of the tombs had been looted but it is hoped that pottery shards, wall paintings and other surviving artefacts will provide a fresh insight into life in Ancient Egypt. ● A Spanish parisioner has painted a set of previously-unpainted C15th wooden statues in garish colours, in the latest botched amateur attempt to restore Spanish church artwork. In June an arts & crafts teacher was allowed to repaint a C16th sculpture of St George, making him look like something out of Tintin, and most famously an elderly parishioner took her brush to a deteriorating 1930s fresco titled Ecce Homo (Behold the Man) in a church near Zaragoza, making such a botched job that many took to calling it Ecce Mono, or Behold the Monkey.
- NATURE! The Spix's macaw, a small, blue tropical parrot, became famous after the lead character in the animated film Rio was modelled on one. Sadly though, it is one of eight species of bird that have now been declared extinct or probably extinct in the wild, half of them in Brazil, where deforestation of the rain forest has severely impacted wildlife. There are up to 80 Spix's macaws in captivity around the world, so it is not implausible that were the forests to be restored they could be reintroduced at some time in the future. ● A small northern wheateater bird was being pursued by a young sparrowhawk across a boat at an offshore wind farm in the North Sea last week when the raptor flew into a window knocking itself out. The wheateater then landed on the unconcious sparrowhawk as if in a victory pose, where it was photographed by one of the crew. The wheateater flew off safely, but the sparrowhawk took 20 minutes to recover before taking off again. ● One of the longest-established tests for intelligence in animals is the ability to self-recognise in mirror reflections. Humans, dolphins, great apes, magpies elephants & chimpanzees are known to be able to do it, and now it appears that cleaner wrasse, a small tropical fish known for eating dead skin cells & parasites off the skin and mouths of larger fish, can too. Scientists marked wrasse in places they could only see in a mirror, and they appeared to attempt to clean the spots off, but the findings are disputed, with others arguing that the wrasse may have been demonstrating to the fish in the reflection what they needed to do.
- SCIENCE! A 600m (2,000') giant plastic boom constructed of sections of tube connected like a snake, with a 3m (10') fine net hanging from its underside is being taken to the eastern Pacific Ocean in an attempt to clean up some of the plastic caught in circular currents forming the "Great Garbage Patch". The project was initiated by Dutch university dropout Boyan Slat after he went swimming off Greece and saw more plastic than fish in the water, and has attracted significant investment and engineering expertise. The net should be too fine for fish to be caught in, and any animals coming into contact with the boom should be washed off its smooth surface. The idea is to leave the boom drifting in the ocean and every six weeks a support ship will remove the plastic it has caught. Questions remain about the carbon cost of manufacturing the boom and its effect on drifting wildlife like jellyfish. ● A study into the effects of installing wind and solar power generating plants in the Sahara has found that they would massively impact rainfall, temperatures and vegetation, effecting 're-greening' the desert. The research by scientists at the University of Illinois found that covering 9 million square kilometres (3,475 square miles) of unoccupied desert in solar panels and wind turbines would more than double rainfall and increase vegetation growth by 20%. ● While it is easy to burst a bubble, forming drops of liquid, a team of scientists in China have managed to make a drop of liquid form into a bubble. They used sound waves to levitate and flatten the drop, then modified the waves to transform it into a bowl shape, then a bubble.
- PEOPLE! Thirty years ago Soviet soldier Igor Bilokurov, from western Ukraine, disappeared after his plane was shot down over Afghanistan by the mujahedin. His aged mother had given up hope and even had a gravestone made. Earlier this year a man approached a group of Ukranians travelling in Afghanistan and said that he came from the same part of Ukraine as them. He said that he suffered from memory loss, possibly as a result of injury, and bore more than a superficial similarity to Igor, but had no memory of being him. The Russian army was able to confirm his identity. ● Alex Navari not only won the raw onion speed eating event at the 23rd annual Newent Onion Fayre in Gloucestershire last week, he beat his own record time by more than 30 seconds, getting through a 7oz (200g) onion in 45 seconds. Lur Equilux was the women's winner, with a time of 1 minute 16 seconds. ● Charlotte Peart, 28, pranked her husband, self-employed carpenter Daniel, into believing that she had won £250,000 ($326,500) on the EuroMillions lottery, only to win it for real three weeks later. Naturally, he did not believe her when she phoned him to tell him the news, until she sent a screenshot of the winning message from the Lottery app. They had won £1m ($1.31m).
- CRIME! Police responding to reports of machine gun fire in Yaxham, Norfolk, found themselves at a birthday party for an 8-year-old boy, where bangers had been set off. ● Police in Aurora, Colorado, have appealed to the public for help identifying a man caught on CCTV trying to rob a vape shop. The man entered the shop and pulled a gun out of his pocket, only to fumble and drop it over the counter. He then tried and failed to jump over the counter before running away, kicking the door open, as his trousers fell down. ● An Oregon man sentenced to 50 years in jail for alleged child sexual abuse has been freed after his dog, which the key witness told the court he had killed in front of her to warn her to keep quiet, turned up alive and well following a review of the case by the Oregon Innocence Project. Lucy, a black labrador, was traced to her new owners and identified by distinctive facial features.
IN BRIEF: The ancient hill fort of Dun Deardail in Glen Nevis, Scotland, has been reconstructed - to scale - out of 35,000 Lego bricks. ● Anti-malware apps removed from Apple's app store after they were found to be sending users' browsing history to servers in China. ● Cheshire couple spend £12,000 ($15,672) saved up for wedding anniversary holiday on pioneering heart bypass surgery for their 11-month-old pet labrador Lottie. ● Emirates airline plane quarantined upon landing at JFK Airport in New York after 100 (about a fifth) of the passengers & crew had reported feeling unwell during flight. ● Promotional material for planned Shirley Chisholm State Park found to use badly Photoshopped 2015 image of Derby County manager Frank Lampard jogging. ● Springer spaniel has 206 pebbles surgically removed from his stomach after eating them on a North Wales beach. ● George Smallwood won £1,000 ($1,306) after his handmade, self-watering, self-sufficient bee-friendly shed won Shed of the Year. ● NASA considering sponsorship deals for space vehicles, paid use of astronauts' images on products such as cereal boxes; former astronauts compare proposals to "the sound of nails on a chalkboard". ● "Smart" TV maker Vizio may be forced to make its TVs display a message telling American owners about a class action suit against the company following undeclared mass viewer data gathering to sell to advertisers.
Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences "postponing" planned "outstanding achievement in popular film" Oscar following backlash. ● John Legend becomes youngest EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony) winner, Andrew Lloyd-Webber, Time Rice also join ranks of EGOT winners. ● Avril Lavigne releasing first new single in 3 years next week; first album in 5 years to follow. ● Blink-182 cancel tour dates because of ongoing medical issues for Travis Barker; will be replaced by Weezer, Run the Jewels & Taking Back Sunday at Riot Fest. ● First known studio recording by David Bowie [reported on in an earlier TFIr] auctions for almost £40,000 ($52,015). ● Dax Phelan acquires film rights to story of Jennifer Murray, first woman to pilot a helicopter around the world solo. ● DC Universe streaming service's Swamp Thing to push boundaries of equivalent cinema 'R' rating. ● Young Fathers win Scottish Album of the Year. ● Gemma Arterton to play Dusty Springfield in biopic So Much Love. ● Sir Elton John announces UK dates of three-year farewell tour. ● Ed Sheeran's promotor describes Viagogo as the ticketing industry's last "major boil left to lance" to House of Commons committee hearing day after Viagogo annnounced legal action against him; Google slammed for still putting Viagogo at top of search results for event tickets. ● Thunder Road takes Grand Prize at Deaville Film Festival, second prize shared by American Animals & Night Comes On. ● BBC moving Doctor Who to Sunday evenings, Jodie Whittaker's full debut to air 7 October. ● Cast members from 1980s Fame TV series reuniting for 2 charity concerts in Liverpool next May. ● Kylie Minogue joined on stage at Radio 2 Live in Hyde Park by Jason Donovan for "Especially For You". ● Michael Moore premieres Trump 'warning' film Fahrenheit 11/9 at Toronto Film Festival. ● Olivia Colman picks up Best Actress award at Venice Film Festival for The Favourite; film also takes Grand Jury prize, Alfonso Cuarón gets Golden Lion for Roma. ● Memorial service for Sir Peter Hall held at Westminster Abbey on first anniversary of death. ● Timothy Dalton to take leading role in DC Universe's Doctor Doom. ● The Breakfast Club recreated with script reading at Toronto Film Festival; Robert Redford's last acting role in The Old Man and the Gun gets standing ovation. ● Waterstones buys out Foyles, hopes to champion real bookshops in face of online sellers. ● BBC commissions second series of His Dark Materials before first series broadcast. ● Filming of final series of Poldark underway. ● Karen Gillan posts picture of herself cosplaying as Doctor Who's Amy Pond, asks if it still counts as cosplaying if you actually played the character...
GQ Awards. Solo Artist: Dua Lipa; Breakthrough Designer: Charles Jeffrey; Politician: David Lammy; Sportsman: Harry Kane; Breakthrough Actor: Tom Bateman; Gallery Artist: Jonathan You; Writer: Michael Wolff; Vero Breakthrough Solo Artist: Jorja Smith; Inspiration: Rose McGowan; Fashion Icon: Naomi Campbell; Most Stylish Man: John Legend; Actor: Daniel Kaluuya; TV Actor: Elisabeth Moss; Designer: Donatella Versace; Icon: Jeff Goldblum; Editor's Special Award: Sacha Baron Cohen; Lifetime Achievement: Johnny Marr; Editor's Lifetime Achievement Award for Services to Philanthrophy: HRH The Prince of Wales.
Creative Arts Emmy Awards [selected]. Outstanding Structured Reality Program: Queer Eye; Oustanding Unstructured Reality Program: United Shades of America; Outstanding Television Movie: Black Mirror - "USS Callister"; Outstanding Variety Special (Pre-Recorded): Dave Chappelle: Equanimity; Outstanding Informational Series or Special: Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown; Outstanding Documentary or Nonfiction Series: Wild Wild Country; Outstanding Documentary or Nonfiction Special: The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling; Outstanding Animated Program: Rick and Morty - "Pickle Rick"; Outstanding Short-Format Animation: Robot Chicken - "Freshly Baked: The Robot Chicken Santa Claus Pot Cookie Freakout Special: Special Edition"; Outstanding Children's Program: The Magic Wand Chase: A Sesame Street Special; Outstanding Variety Special (Live): Jesus Christ Superstar Live in Concert; Oustanding Short Form Nonfiction or Reality Series: Anthony Bourdain: Explore Parts Unknown; Exceptional Merit in Documentary Filmmaking: Strong Island; Outstanding Short Form Comedy or Drama Series: James Corden's Next James Corden; Outstanding Short Form Variety Series: Carpool Karaoke: The Series; Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series: Katt Williams, Atlanta - "Alligator Man"; Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series: Tiffany Haddish, Saturday Night Live; Outstanding Guest Actor in a Drama Series: Ron Cephas Jones, This is Us - "A Father's Advice" Outstanding Guest Acress in a Drama Series: Samira Wiley, The Handmaid's Tale - "After"; Outstanding Character Voice-Over Performance: Alex Borstein, Family Guy - "Nanny Goats"; Outstanding Narrator: Sir David Attenborough, Blue Planet II - "One Ocean"; Outstanding Actress in a Short Form Comedy or Drama Series: Christina Pickles, Break a Hip.
Rapper Mac Miller (Stopped Making Excuses, Faces, 26), writer & actor Christopher Lawford (nephew of President Kennedy, Symptoms of Withdrawal, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, 63), actor Peter Benson (Heartbeat, The Black Adder, Henry VI [BBC Shakespeare], 75), wildlife presenter Johnny Kingdom (A Year on Exmoor, Johnny's New Kingdom, 79), actor Burt Reynolds (Deliverance, Smokey and the Bandit, Evening Shade, 82), actress Liz Fraser (Carry on Cruising, Hancock's Half Hour, I'm All Right Jack, 88), actress Fenella Fielding (Carry on Screaming, Doctor in Love, Guest House Paradiso, 90).
^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:4, 11, 17, 25, 47, 55[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.
It was nearly break time and Little Jennifer's teacher surveyed her class. "OK, children," she said, "I'm going to give you a question and whoever answers it correctly can go play five minutes early." She turned to write the question on the board, and a ball of paper hit her on the back of her head. She span round, angrily. "Who threw that?"
Little Jennifer's hand shot up. "Me, Miss!" she said, smiling as only Little Jennifer could, "Can I go and play now?"
^ ...end of line