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Issue #494 - 21st September 2018
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| Contents | — – o o O o o – — |
^ WORD OF THE WEEK
selcouth |
Friday 21st September - Poet Virgil died, 19 BCE. Bertha of Savoy born, 1051. The Congress of Arras resulted in Burgundy changing sides to support France in the Hundred Years' War, 1435. Emperor Hong Taiji of China died, 1643. Engineer John Loudon McAdam born, 1756. A third of New York City burned down shortly after British forces occupied it, 1776. J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit was published, 1937. Writer Stephen King born, 1947. Sprinter Florence Griffith Joyner died, 1998. International Day of Peace. Saturday 22nd September - Chronicler Otto of Freising died, 1158. Anne of Cleves, fourth wife of King Henry VIII of England, born, 1515. The Spanish defeated the English & Dutch at the Battle of Zutphen in the Eighty Years' War, 1586. Nathan Hale, soldier & spy during the American Revolutionary War, hanged, 1776. Scientist Michael Faraday born, 1791. A steam locomotive dropped into a hole caused by sudden subsidence in the Lindal Railway Incident, 1892. Author Rosamunde Pilcher born, 1924. Sara Jane Moore attempted to assassinate U.S. President Gerald Ford, 1975. Yogi Berra, baseball player/coach/manager & user of malapropisms, died, 2015. Hobbit Day (American Tolkien Society). OneWebDay. World Car-Free Day. Sunday 23rd September - Mongol emperor Kublai Khan born, 1215. Historian & poet Snorri Sturluson died, 1241. The Merchant Royal sank off Land's End, Cornwall, carrying a fortune in gold & silver, 1641. Composer Vincenzo Bellini died, 1835. Journalist & suffragist Victoria Woodhull born, 1838. Neptune was discovered, 1846. Cricketer & broadcaster Henry Blofeld born, 1939. Dancer & choreographer Bob Fosse died, 1981. "Phoenix 0.1", the first public version of the Mozilla Firefox web browser, was released, 2002. Monday 24th September - Physician & alchemist Paracelsus died, 1541. New Amsterdam was surrendered to England by the Dutch Republic, 1664. Composer Jean-Louis Lully born, 1667. Poet & painter Branwell Brontë died, 1848. Writer F. Scott Fitzgerald born, 1896. Devils Tower, Wyoming, was proclaimed the United States' first National Monument by President Theodore Roosevelt, 1906. Artist Elizabeth Blackadder born, 1931. Author & cartoonist Theodor Geisel, aka Dr Seuss, died, 1991. American police used a Long-Range Acoustic Device for the first time, against protesters at the G20 summit in Pittsburgh, 2009. Tuesday 25th September - Harald Hardrada, King of Norway, was defeated by King Harold II of England at the Battle of Stamford Bridge, 1066. Explorer Steven Borough born, 1525. Noblewoman Arbella Stuart died, 1615. The United States Congress passed 12 amendments to the United States Constitution, including the 10 known as the Bill of Rights, 1789. Composer Johann Strauss I died, 1849. Nobel laureate writer William Faulkner born, 1897. The UK government's official report on the Profumo Affair was released, 1963. Led Zeppelin drummer & songwriter John Bonham died, 1980. Actress Clea DuVall born, 1977. Wednesday 26th September - The coronation of William II as King of England, 1087. Anne of Bavaria, queen consort of Bohemia, born, 1329. Sir Francis Drake completed his circumnavigation of the Earth, 1580. Environmentalist Johnny Appleseed born, 1774. Frontiersman Daniel Boone died, 1820. Gangster Machine Gun Kelly surrendered to the FBI, shouting "Don't shoot, G-Men!", 1933. Composer Béla Bartók died 1945. Actress & singer-songwriter Olivia Newton-John born, 1948. Author Helen Cresswell died, 2005. Maple Leaf Day in Canada. Thursday 27th September - William the Conqueror set sail from France with his army to begin the Norman conquest of England, 1066. Cosimo de' Medici, ruler of Florence, born, 1389. Felice della Rovere, illegitimate daughter of Pope Julius II, died, 1536. Jean-François Champollion announced his decipherment of the Rosetta Stone, 1822. Caricaturist & cartoonist Thomas Nast born, 1840. Artist Edgar Degas died, 1917. The liner RMS Queen Elizabeth was launched, 1938. Tennis player Simona Halep born, 1991. Screenwriter David Croft died, 2011.
This week, Theodor Geisel (Dr Seuss):We're all a little weird, and life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it LOVE.
A selection of quotations from films with a common actor or actress. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were from films starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt:
- Have I mentioned that I am the preeminent Proust scholar in the US?
- Grandma says hi. She says she's sorry for taking the bumblebee pendant. She just likes it a lot.
- Goodbye, Porpoise Spit!
- NO! Don't scratch those in public! That's why they're called privates!
- I never go to the cinema. I can't stand sitting in the dark with strangers, all of us obliged to share the same emotional experiences... it's too intimate. I like to be emotional in private.
- Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life. May 23rd was a Wednesday.
-- 500 Days of Summer [2009]- The shit hath hitith the fan... ith.
-- 10 Things I Hate About You [1999]- We both know that I now have to kill you. You'll just have to imagine the fire!
-- The Dark Knight Rises [2012]- Trust? Gentlemen, you seem to have forgotten that our chosen career is politics.
-- Lincoln [2012]- Couldn't somebody have dreamt up a goddamn beach?
-- Inception [2010]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
- HISTORY! Researchers in Rhode Island may have located the wreck of HMS Endeavour, the ship which took Lieutenant (later Captain) James Cook from the UK to Australia & New Zealand on his 1768-71 voyage. The ship was later used to transport British soldiers across the Atlantic during the American War of Indepence, ending its days as a prison ship before being scuttled off Rhode Island along with 12 other ships to blockade a French fleet coming to the aid of the Americans. The Rhode Island Marine Archaeology Project has narrowed Endeavour's location to one of two sites, which they intend to survey in detail & dive on next year. ● The oldest-known drawing by a human has been identified on a small rock fragment found in Blombos Cave on the southern coast of South Africa. The cross-hatched lines, similar to the '#' symbol, were made with red ochre pigment some 73,000 years ago. The lines extend to the edges of the fragment, suggesting that they were part of a larger design. ● Archaeologists in Israel have uncovered the world's oldest brewery while studying a semi-nomadic tribe's burial site. Beer brewing was previously thought to be around 5,000 years old, but evidence of wheat & barley based alcohol at the site pushes it back to 13,000 years. The archaeologists managed to recreate the beer, which more closely resembled porridge, and was much milder than today's beer.
- NATURE! References to 'rat kings', where a number of rats' tails become entangled, usually due to hair or gum, go back as far as the C16th. A wildlife centre in Wisconsin has managed to successfully separate a 'squirrel king', five young squirrels whose tails became entangled with grass & plastic strips their mother had used to build her drey (nest). The squirrels were, quite naturally, distressed, and had to all be anaesthetised at the same time before vets could free their tails with scissors. The operation took about 20 minutes, and the squirrels were to be released back into the wild once they had recuperated. ● The recent hot weather and droughts across Europe continue to affect life across the continent, with the latest report being from the Walloon Potato Growers' Association in Belgium who have warned that reduced rainfall has led to potato crop yields being reduced by 25%. Belgians will find that their 'frites' (UK: chips, US: fries) will, as a result, be 3cm (1.1") smaller than usual. Belgian frites are thought to have originated in the cold winter of 1680, when rivers froze over and people took to frying potatoes instead of fish. ● Edinburgh Zoo has been home to giant pandas Tian Tian & Yang Guang for the last 5 years, and hopes of them breeding have so far come to nothing. Staff and contractors at the zoo have now been asked not to wear high-visibility clothing over concerns that it could be putting the pandas off getting romantic. Staff have also been asked to replace leaf blowers with brooms so as not to disturb the zoo's lions' & koalas' mating seasons.
- SCIENCE! The 2018 IgNobel Prize winners, for scientific research papers "that first make people laugh then make them think", have been announced. Medicine Prize: Marc Mitchell & David Wartinger, "Validation of a Functional Pyelocalyceal Renal Model for the Evaluation of Renal Calculi Passage While Riding a Roller Coaster" (The Journal of the American Osteopathatic Association) - using roller coaster rides to try to hasten the passage of kidney stones; Anthropology Prize: Tomas Persson, Gabriela-Alina Sauiciuc & Elainie Madsen, "Spontaneous Cross-Species Imitation in Interaction Between Chimpanzees and Zoo Visitors" (Primates) - Evidence that, in a zoo, chimpanzees imitate humans as often, and about as well, as humans imitate chimpanzees; Biology Prize: Paul Becher, Sebastien Lebreton, Erika Wallin, Erik Hedenstrom, Felipe Borrero-Echeverry, Marie Bengtsson, Volker Jorger & Peter Witzgall, "The Scent of the Fly" (bioRxiv) - demonstrating that wine experts can reliably identify, by smell, the presence of a single fly in a glass of wine; Chemistry Prize: Paula Romão, Adilia Alarcão & César Viana, "Human Saliva as a Cleaning Agent for Dirty Surfaces" (Studies in Conservation) - measuring the degree to which human saliva is a good cleaning agent for dirty surfaces; Medical Education Prize: Akira Horiuchi, "Colonoscopy in the Sitting Position: Lessons Learned From Self-Colonoscopy by Using a Small-Caliber, Variable-Stiffness Colonoscope" (Gastrointestinal Endoscopy) - self-explanatory...; Literature Prize: Thea Blackler, Rafael Gomez, Vesna Popovic & M. Helen Thompson, "Life Is Too Short to RTFM: How Users Relate to Documentation and Excess Features in Consumer Products" - documenting that most people who use complicated products do not read the instruction manual; Nutrition Prize: James Cole, "Assessing the Calorific Significance of Episodes of Human Cannibalism in the Paleolithic" - calculating that the calorific intake from a human-cannibalism diet is significantly lower that from most other meat diets; Peace Prize: Francisco Alonso, Cristina Esteban, Andrea Serge, Maria-Luisa Ballestarm Jaime Sanmartin, Constanza Calatayud & Beatriz Alamar, "Shouting and Cursing While Driving: Frequency, Reasons, Perceived Risk and Punishment" (Journal of Sociology and Anthropology) - measuring the frequency, motivation and effects of shouting and cursing while driving a car; Reproductive Medicine Prize: John Barry, Bruce Blank & Michel Boileau, "Nocturnal Penile Tumescence Monitoring With Stamps" (Urology) - using postage stamps to test whether male genitalia is functioning properly; Economics Prize: Lindie Hanyu Liang, Douglas Brown, Huiwen Lian, Samuel Hanig, D. Lance Ferris & Lisa Keeping, "Righting a Wrong: Retaliation on a Voodoo Doll Symbolizing an Abusive Supervisor Restores Justice" (The Leadership Quarterly) - investigating whether it is effective for workers to use voodoo dolls to treat negative emotions caused by abusive managers.
- PEOPLE! Japanese billionaire Yusaku Maezawa, 42, has been revealed as the first paying passenger for a trip around the Moon aboard a SpaceX rocket in 2023, the first manned lunar trip since the Apollo missions ended in 1972. SpaceX has yet to build the rocket, and owner Elon Musk warned that "It's not 100% certain we can bring this to flight." ● Twenty-year-old student Jade Owen has had to use a wheelchair since she was 11 because of cerebral palsy and has spent years trying to raise money for surgery in America. Earlier this year an anonymous donor contributed £37,000 ($48,700), which brought her total to enough to fund the surgery. She can now walk with assistance. ● When Hurricane Florence hit the eastern seaboard of the United States TV weather stations dutifully reported on conditions. The Weather Channel's Mike Seidel broadcast an on-the-spot piece bracing himself against the 'nasty as it has been' wind & rain in Wilmington to deliver his report, only for the camera to catch two men strolling in what can only be called a 'relaxed' attitude through the shot behind him...
- CRIME! A family cat returned to its home in St Paul's, Bristol, last Sunday, dragging a plastic carrier bag in which its owner discovered around 30 wrapped pellets of suspected class-A drugs. Police were called and praised the owner and the cat, tweeting "Look what the cat dragged in" & "Forget police dog, we should start training up cats." ● Three armed robbers who tried to hold up the Bar One Racing office in Glanshire, County Cork, reckoned without the presence of 85-year-old great grandfather Denis O'Connor. One man jumped the counter to threaten manager Tim Murphy with a hammer, another pointed a shotgun at Mr O'Connor, only to find that he would not back down and began grappling with the robber. With Mr Murphy tackling the man behind the counter, who was armed with a hammer, the three quickly gave up and fled the scene. The whole incident was over in about 30s, and CCTV footage has gone viral online. Ireland's RTÉ reported that Mr O'Connor had declined requests to be interviewed, preferring to go play pitch & putt. ● A group of residents in Shoreditch, London, are so fed up with drug dealing on their streets and seeming inaction by police that they commissioned a group of artists calling themselves the Columbia Road Cartel to create a parking bay marked for "DRUG DEALERS ONLY" & six fake road signs on lampposts indicating "CRACK PICKUP POINT", "NEEDLE FREE ZONE" & "GIVE WAY TO ONCOMING DRUG DEALS".
IN BRIEF: Volkswagen are to end production of the Beetle next year, despite rumours of a planned electric version. ● Coca-Cola in talks to produce medical cannabis-infused caffeine-based drink. ● Cornwall Council votes to add official apostrophe to signage for Land's End. ● Amazon glitch sees online reviews for Bob Woodward's exposé of the Trump Presidency Fear: Trump in the White House briefly replaced with reviews for Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard's 1940 pulp sci-fi horror-thriller Fear (typical review: "I found Fear to be the biggest piece of garbage I have ever read"). Woodward's book sold over 750,000 copies on its first day. ● Fortnite video game cited as a factor in 200 UK divorces since January 2018. ● Google admits accidentally remotely changing some Android phones' battery-conservation settings. ● TripAdvisor suspends reviews for a plastic tunnel at a supermarket in Bude that had become its highest-rated attraction in Cornwall. ● Volvo unveils 360c concept car that is fully autonomous and does not have a steering wheel. ● Women in Games Jobs (an organisation set up to promote & encourage women working in video games) Esports Award for Best Presenter given to... a man.
Alfred Enoch (How to Get Away with Murder) replacing Jodie Whittaker in lead for second series of Trust Me. ● Bristol shopkeeper accidentally paints over part of early Banksy artwork on shop shutters. ● BBC defends using its own new presenters & reporters in The Bodyguard terrorism thriller; many viewers try calling lead character's mobile phone number despite it being a set-aside fake. ● Channel 5 confirm Celebrity Big Brother has ended its run, Big Brother's current series is the last on the channel. ● The Predator reboot tops US box office with below-expected takings; horror The Nun at #2, black comedy A Simple Favor at #3. ● Gary Busey releasing 2 singles later this year. ● Disney releases first trailer for Mary Poppins Returns. ● Gary Numan joins Beck on stage at Riot Fest for rendition of Cars. ● Pregnant model who walked the catwalk for Rihanna's fashion label at New York Fashion Week gives birth hours after show. ● Netflix release trailer for "Chilling Adventures of Sabrina", much darker take on the teenage witch than the 90s Melissa Joan Hart-starring sitcom. ● Film directors Paul Thomas Anderson, Christopher Nolan, launch campaign against motion-smoothing TV effect. ● Game of Thrones' Kit Harrington under consideration to take Batman role for Matt Reeve's film The Batman. ● Nine English local authorities overturn BBFC '15' classification for A Northern Soul to allow 12-year-olds to see it. ● Danez Smith, 29, becomes youngest winner of Forward Prize for poetry, for Don't Call Us Dead. ● Former head of BBC Comedy Jon Plowman lambasts corporation for focus on drama at expense of memorable comedy. ● Grimm's Elizabeth Tulloch tapped to play Lois Lane in CW's annual Arrow-verse crossover event. ● First image of Joaquin Phoenix as pre-Joker 'Arthur Fleck' released. ● Despite the hype Fortnite is not the most popular game viewed on YouTube - the 9-year-old Minecraft still holds that crown. ● George R.R. Martin sad that Games of Thrones is coming to an end, would have liked up to 13 seasons. ● Glasgow's Charles Rennie Mackintosh-designed School of Art building, hit by major fires in 2014 & 2018, to be rebuilt as close to how it was as possible, and see continued use as an art school. ● Henry Cavill reportedly out of playing Superman again as studio shifting focus of DC cinematic universe away to other characters following box office disappointments of Batman v. Superman & Justice League. ● ITV confirms second series of Jeremy Clarkson-hosted Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? ● Katie Hopkins applies for insolvency agreement after losing libel case brought by food blogger Jack Monroe last year. ● Rumours that Kylie Minogue might be playing Glastonbury next year. ● Matthew Perry released from hospital after 3 months, initial treatment for gastrointestinal perforation. ● Maxine Peake to play Hillsborough families' campaigner Anne Williams in ITV drama mini-series. ● Nintendo announce new games for Switch console including Final Fantasy VII, IX, X, Super Mario Bros U Deluxe & version of board game Settlers of Catan. ● Sony announce Playstation Classic mini version of original PS with 20 retro titles, 2 full-size controllers. ● Sesame Street writer Mark Saltzman admits "contextualising" Bert & Ernie as gay couple, production company issues another denial. ● New South Wales authorities call for ban of Defqon 1 music festival after 2 drugs deaths. ● Peter Farrelly's Green Book takes Audience Award at Toronto Film Festival. ● BBC declines to broadcast wedding of Princess Eugenie other than in news reports. ● YouTube concedes failure of YouTube Gaming video app, will reintegrate it into main YouTube app. ● Speculation that Zoe Ball could be set to take over BBC Radio 2 Breakfast Show when Chris Evans leaves. ● Chinese actress Fan Bingbing disappears in mysterious circumstances.
Emmy Awards. Best lead actress in a drama series: Claire Foy, The Crown; Best lead actor in a drama series: Matthew Rhys, The Americans; Best lead actress in a limited series or movie: Regina King, Seven Seconds; Best lead actor in a limited series or movie: Darren Criss, American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace; Best lead actor in a comedy series: Bill Hader, Barry; Best lead actress in a comedy series: Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs Maisel; Best drama series: Game of Thrones; Best comedy series: The Marvelous Mrs Maisel; Best limited series: American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace; Best supporting actor in a drama series: Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones; Best supporting actress in a drama series: Thandie Newton, Westworld; Best supporting actor in a comedy series: Henry Winkler, Barry; Best supporting actress in a comedy series: Alex Borstein, The Marvelous Mrs Maisel; Best supporting actor in a limited series or movie: Jeff Daniels, Godless; Best supporting actress in a limited series or movie: Merritt Weaver, Godless; Best variety talk series: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver; Best variety sketch series: Saturday Night Live; Best reality competition programme: RuPaul's Drag Race; Best directing for a drama series: Stephen Daldry, The Crown; Best directing for a comedy series: Amy Sherman-Palladino, The Marvelous Mrs Maisel; Best directing for a limited series, movie or dramatic special: Ryan Murphy, American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace; Best directing for a variety special: Glenn Weiss, The Oscars (also best proposal during an awards ceremony); Best writing for a comedy series: Amy Sherman-Palladino, The Marvelous Mrs Maisel; Best writing for a drama series: Joe Fields & Joe Weisberg, The Americans; Best writing for a limited series, movie or dramatic special: William Bridges & Charlie Brooker, "USS Callister" (Black Mirror); Best writing for a variety special: John Mulaney, John Mulany: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City.
Golfer Celia Barquín Arozamena (current European Ladies' Amateur Champion, 22), singer Rachid Taha (Carte de Séjour, "Barra Barra", 59), soccer player Kevin Beattie (Ipswich Town, Middlesborough, England, 64), playwright & screenwriter Stephen Jeffreys (The Libertine, Diana, Valued Friends, 68), boxing trainer Enzo Calzaghe (Joe Calzaghi, Gavin Rees,, Enzo Maccarinelli, 69), actress Zienia Merton (Space: 1999, Doctor Who, The Chairman, 72), actor Dudley Sutton (Lovejoy, The Leather Boys, The Pink Panther Strikes Again, 85), comedy writer & TV host Denis Norden (It'll Be Alright on the Night, Call My Bluff, Take It From Here, 96).
^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:14, 22, 27, 29, 45, 53[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.
Little Jennifer's class were having a maths lesson and their teacher was trying to explain a simple addition. "OK, say I have two bottles in one hand, one bottle in the other, and I have put four bottles on the table. What have I got?"
Little Jennifer's hand shot up. "I know this, Miss, because we went to see my Uncle Charlie once, and he was just like that. Mummy said that he had a drinking problem. Is that right, Miss? Do you have a drinking problem?"
^ ...end of line