The Friday Irregular
Issue #523 - 19th April 2019

Edited by and copyright ©2019 Simon Lamont
tfir@simonlamont.co.uk

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Contents

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^ WORD OF THE WEEK
lituus
  1. n. an ancient Roman wand or ritual staff with a curved head.
  2. n. an Etruscan long military trumpet with a curved horn.


^ ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 19th April   -   Milichus betrayed Piso's plot to assassinate the Roman emperor Nero, 65. King Robert II of Scotland died, 1390. Artist Willem Drost born, 1633. The proxy wedding of Louis XVI of France to Marie Antoinette, 1770. Frontiersman Erastus "Deaf" Smith born, 1787. Poet Lord Byron died, 1824. Belgium was established as a neutral kingdom by the Treaty of London, 1839. Model and actress Jayne Mansfield born, 1933. Writer J.G. Ballard died, 2009.
 
Saturday 20th April   -   Cædwalla, King of Wessex, died, 689. Explorer Jacques Cartier set out on his voyage to what is now Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada, 1534. Renata of Lorraine, Duchess consort of Bavaria, born, 1544. The Siege of Boston in the American Revolutionary War began, 1775. Fashion designer Paul Poiret born, 1879. Writer Bram Stoker died, 1912. The League of Nations was officially dissolved, with most of its powers passing to the United Nations, 1946. Actress Jessica Lange born, 1949. Actress, writer and comedian Victoria Wood died, 2016.
 
Sunday 21st April   -   Rome was founded by Romulus, 753 BCE [traditional date]. Liuvigild, King of the Visigoths, died, 586. Sancho VI, King of Navarre, born, 1132. King Henry VIII of England acceded to the throne, 1509. Playwright Jean Racine died, 1699. Writer Charlotte Brontë born, 1816. The Daily Mail published the since-discredited "Surgeon's Photograph", purportedly of the Loch Ness Monster, 1934. Actress Andie MacDowell born, 1958. Singer-songwriter Prince died, 2016. National Tea Day in the U.K.
 
Monday 22nd April   -   Elizabeth of York, Duchess of Suffolk, born, 1444. Portuguese explorer Pedro Álvarez Cabral discovered what is now Brazil, 1500. Writer Henry Fielding born, 1707. James Hargreaves, inventor of the spinning jenny, died, 1778. Thousands dashed to claim land in the Land Rush of 1889, establishing Oklahoma City and Guthrie within hours, 1889. Contralto Kathleen Ferrier born, 1912. Engineer Henry Royce, co-founder of Rolls-Royce, died, 1933. Yachtsman Sir Robin Knox-Johnson completed the first solo circumnavigation of the world, 1969. Richard Nixon, 37th President of the United States, died, 1994. Earth Day.
 
Tuesday 23rd April   -   Dagobert III acceded to the Frankish throne, 711. Playwright and poet William Shakespeare born, 1564 [presumed date] and died, 1616. The coronation of King Charles II of England, Scotland and Ireland at Westminster Abbey, 1661. Nobel laureate physicist Max Planck born, 1858. Swimmer and actor Buster Crabbe died, 1983. Coca-Cola released New Coke; the original formula would return less than three months later, 1985. Russian politician and 1st President of Russia, Boris Yeltsin died, 2007. Prince Louis of Cambridge born, 2018. St George's Day in England, Catalonia and Aragon. UN English Language Day.
 
Wednesday 24th April   -   Gertrude of Austria died, 1288. The marriage of Mary, Queen of Scots and Francis, Dauphin of France, at Notre Dame de Paris, 1558. Composer Giovanni Battista Martini born, 1706. Writer and spy Daniel Defoe died, 1731. Sharpshooter Annie Oakley was hired to join Buffalo Bill's Wild West show, 1885. Filmmaker William Castle born, 1914. After 48 years of quarantine Gruinard Island, Scotland, was declared free of anthrax, 1990. Cyclist Laura Kenny born, 1992. South African lawyer and anti-apartheid activist Oliver Tambo died, 1993. World Day for Laboratory Animals.
 
Thursday 25th April   -   Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of Great Britain, born, 1599. Claude Joseph Rouget de Lisle composed "La Marseillaise", the French national anthem, 1792. Poet William Cowper died, 1800. Mathematician Felix Klein born, 1849. Writer Anna Sewell died, 1878. The Battle of Gallipoli in World War I began, 1915. Artist David Shepherd born, 1931. Pioneer 10 passed beyond the orbit of Pluto, 1983. Actress Bea Arthur died, 2009. Summardagurinn fyrsti (First Day of Summer) in Iceland. Red Hat Society Day. DNA Day.


^ THE WISDOM OF...

This week, Henry Fielding:
Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.


^ FILM QUIZ

A selection of quotations from films with a common actor or actress. Answers next issue or from the regular address. Last issue's quotations were from films starring Jason Momoa:


^ WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

IN BRIEF: Florida woman left to raise five younger siblings after losing parents to cancer is given a car by a group of anonymous donors. ● Vale Street in Bristol, already identified as the UK's steepest street with a slope of 22o officially recognised by Ordnance Survey as a hill. ● RNLI buy two "revolutionary" new lifeboats with money from sale of two 1960s Ferraries left to them in the will of businessman Richard Colton, names one of the boats the RNLB Richard and Caroline Colton. ● New extinct human species remains identified on Philippines island of Luzon, 1,742 miles (2,803km) from Indonesian island of Flores, where the "Hobbit" Homo floresiensis remains were found a few years ago. ● Pogonophic research study suggests men's beards hold more germs than dog's fur. ● Emu filmed running along A82 road in Scotland. ● Simon Cowell claims his £15m ($19.58m) London mansion became haunted by "Roman emperor Hadrian's gay lover" after he bought a bust of Antinous. ● The long-eared jerboa identified as the animal with the largest ears relative to its size. ● UK government considering legislation to ban under-18s from being able to 'like' (or other terms) social media posts. ● The Times newspaper's classified section used to announce couple are in a relationship, and the death of democracy following the parliamentary Brexit mess. ● French Internet policing body IRU demand Internet Archive take down more than 550 "instances of terrorist propaganda" from its site - list of decidedly non-terrorist material includes Greatful Dead recordings, TV news archives, texts from Project Gutenberg including The Tale of Peter Rabbit and Alice in Wonderland. ● Starz cable TV firm issues DMCA demand that Twitter remove tweets referring to online news article about leaks of TV shows, including Starz' American Gods but not providing any links or guidance to finding them; widely slammed for inappropriate use of DMCA.


TRUMPWATCH: An occasional look at the sillier news surrounding the US president... Trump tweets screenshot from Fox Business show that indicated his approval rating was at 55% - it was actually his disapproval rating; his approval was at 43%. ● When Trump took visiting French President Macron and his wife to George Washington's Mount Vernon home Trump suggested that "If he [Washington] was smart, he would've put his name on it. You've got to put your name on stuff or no one remembers you." Like the Trump University, Trump Airlines, Trump Ice, Trump: The Game, Trump casinos, Trump magazine, Trump Mortgage, Trump steaks, the GoTrump.com travel booking site, Trumpnet corporate telephone services, Trump Tower Tampa, Trump Vodka, Trump Home mattresses, the colognes Trump Fragrance*, Success by Trump and Empire by Trump... all failed [*'Trump' is UK English slang for 'fart', so probably not the most appealing name there, Donnie..]. ● Trump tweets that the New York Times "had to beg their fleeing subscribers for forgiveness in that they covered the Election (and me) so badly."; in fact the NYT added 132,000 subscribers the week after the presidential election. ● Immediately after 9/11 (while bodies were still being recovered) Trump boasted on television that his building at 40 Wall St. had become the tallest skyscraper in New York City - not only stunningly insensitive but also (not surprisingly) a total lie; he also later falsely claimed to have paid people to help locate survivors and clear away rubble. ● Among the big beneficiaries of Trump's 2020 re-election campaign are... Trump's self-branded businesses, which received $168,333 (£128,970) in the first quarter of 2019. ● Trump declares plan to bus migrants to 'sanctuary' cities purely out of vindictive polical spite (the migrants will be welcomed). ● Trump responds to fire at Paris' Notre Dame Cathedral with tweet that "Perhaps flying water tanks could be used to put it out" - French fire chief Lieutenant-Colonel Michael Bernier describes suggestion as "risible" as dumping even a single load from a fire-fighting plane (used to combat forest fires) would be equivalent to dropping 3 tonnes of concrete at over 155mph (250km/h) on the ancient structure, and would have endangered firefighters' lives, damaged neighbouring buildings, collapsed the world-famous buttresses and flattened the nave. ● Trump suggests Boeing could fix their problems with the 737-MAX by adding a couple of features and rebranding it...


^ ENTERTAINMENT BRIEFS

American Horror Story team release first trailer, title for season 9 - American Horror Story: 1984. ● Disney, Marvel reportedly developing Hawkeye Avengers spinoff series for Disney+ streaming service; Disney confirms US launch date, price, line-up. ● Aretha Franklin becomes first individual woman to be awarded Pulitzer Prize special citation, posthumously. ● Brief spoiler-laden clip from Avengers Endgame leaked online prompting fans to avoid social media until release. ● Melbourne International Comedy Festival to rename Barry Award in wake of controversial comments made by festival co-founder Barry Humphries on transgender issues. ● Bohemian Rhapsody heading for $1bn (£0.77bn) global box office. ● Speculation growing that Avengers Endgame could pass Avatar's record $2.7bn (£2.1bn) global box office. ● Game of Thrones final seasion premiere draws record US viewing figures of 17.4m, 500k more than season 7's debut; 3.4m UK viewers watched it; given almost overwhelmingly positive reviews. ● UK intelligence agency GCHQ cracks coded messages left in late comedian Chris Sievey's giant Frank Sidebottom head; day after decrypted texts revealed, documentary filmmaker who called in GCHQ finds code key in back of old Sievey address book. ● HBO renews Barry for third series, to air in 2020. ● Hellboy reboot flops at box office; original director Guillermo Del Toro, star Ron Perlman both reportedly would have been happy to return but were rejected in favour of reboot. ● Shazam! holds US box office #1 spot for second week. ● Performance of Only Fools and Horses the Musical interrupted by argument in front row of audience. ● Fleabag's Phoebe Waller-Bridge reportedly hired to 'liven up' script for 25th James Bond film. ● BFI Fest poll finds 2010 Sherlock theme is the UK's favourite TV theme, ahead of Doctor Who. ● First trailer for Star Wars: Episode IX released, title revealed as The Rise of Skywalker. ● New York Police Department logs of operations to protect The Beatles on first US tour go on display at Liverpool's Magical Beatles Museum. ● BPI release list of most-streamed tracks in UK last year by year of release. ● First ever Tintoretto exhibition in America opens at National Gallery of Art in Washington, D.C. ● When Harry Met Sally celebrates 30th anniversary. ● Questions raised over why current world snooker champion Mark Williams' face was left off cover of Snooker 19 videogame. ● Joan Bakewell to receive 2019 Bafta TV Fellowship. ● John Cusack to star in remake of Channel 4's Utopia for Amazon. ● George Lucas names his favourite Star Wars character as... Jar Jar Binks...


^ OBITUARIES

Comedian Ian Cognito (died on stage, 60), former Paramount director of international marketing John Rentsch (Titanic, The Addams Family, The Accused, 67), actress Georgia Engel (The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Everybody Loves Raymond, Jennifer Slept Here, 70), soccer player Tommy Smith (Liverpool 1960-78, England, 74), actor John McEnery (The Land That Time Forgot, Romeo and Juliet, Nicholas and Alexandra, 76), songwriter Les Reed ("Delilah", "It's Not Unusual", "The Last Waltz", 83), writer Gene Wolfe (The Book of the New Sun, Soldier of Sidon, Nebula Award winner 1974 & 1981, 87), astronaut Owen Garriott (SkyLab 3, Space Shuttle mission STS-9, 88), soccer player Ivor Broadis (Newcastle United, Manchester United, England, 96), unnamed female Yangtse giant softshell turtle (one of only four remaining, 90+ years old).


^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:
7, 25, 34, 37, 46, 49
[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.


^ AND FINALLY...

    Little Jennifer was running late for school again, and clomped downstairs to find her mother standing at the door. Her mother looked at her and said "Oh, Little Jennifer, you were in such a rush that you put your shoes on the wrong feet. Never mind, you can change them in the car."
    Little Jennifer looked down, then at her mother with a puzzled expression. "But, Mummy, they can't be the wrong feet, they're the only ones I've got!"


^ ...end of line