The Friday Irregular
Issue #531 - 14th June 2019

Edited by and copyright ©2019 Simon Lamont
tfir@simonlamont.co.uk

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Contents

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^ WORD OF THE WEEK
speos
  n. a temple or tomb carved into rock.


^ ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 14th June   -   Henry the Lion founded Munich, 1158. Samurai Shibata Katsuie committed seppuku, 1583. Astronomer Johann Abraham Ihle born, 1627. The Dutch fleet's five-day Raid on the Medway in the Second Anglo-Dutch War ended, 1667. American general-turned-defector and spy for the British Benedict Arnold died, 1801. Author and abolitionist Harriet Beecher Stowe born, 1811. Argentine forces in Stanley conditionally surrendered to the British in the Falklands War, 1982. Pianist Lang Lang born, 1982. Activist Anne Nicol Gaylor died, 2015. World Blood Donor Day.
 
Saturday 15th June   -   King John of England put his seal to Magna Carta, 1215. Wat Tyler, leader of the Peasants' Revolt, killed, 1381. Lisa del Giocondo, subject of the Mona Lisa, born, 1479. Benjamin Franklin proved that lightning is electricity (traditional date), 1752. Composer Edvard Grieg born, 1843. Poet Thomas Campbell died, 1844. Bessie Coleman became the first licensed female pilot of African-American descent, 1921. Actress Courteney Cox born, 1964. Singer Ella Fitzgerald died, 1996. National Beer Day in the U.K. Global Wind Day.
 
Sunday 16th June   -   The Lancastrians won a decisive victory at the Battle of Stoke Field, the last engagement of the Wars of the Roses, 1487. John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough, died, 1722. Economist Adam Smith born, 1723. Spain declared war on the United Kingdom and began the Great Siege of Gibraltar, 1779. American tribal leader Geronimo born, 1829. Epidemiologist John Snow died, 1858. Ballet dancer Rudolf Nureyev defected from the Soviet Union, 1961. Liverpool F.C. manager Jürgen Klopp born, 1967. British M.P. Jo Cox murdered, 2016. Bloomsday in Dublin and among fans of James Joyce.
 
Monday 17th June   -   Vlad III the Impaler attempted to assassinate Mehmed II, 1462. Scholar and feminist Birgitte Thott born, 1610. Mughal princess Mumtaz Mahal, for whom the Taj Mahal mausoleum would be built, died, 1631. Samuel Wallis became the first European to sight Tahiti, 1767. Sophie of Württemberg, queen of the Netherlands, born, 1818. The Statue of Liberty arrived in New York Harbor, 1885. Artist Edward Burne-Jones died, 1898. Radio broadcaster Art Bell born, 1945. Actress Patsy Byrne died, 2014. World Day to Combat Desertification and Drought.
 
Tuesday 18th June   -   Five monks in Canterbury witnessed what might have been the impact that created the Giordano Bruno crater on the Moon, 1178. Eleanor of Woodstock born, 1318. Admiral and privateer Piet Pieterszoon Hein killed in battle, 1629. British forces abandoned Philadelpia during the American Revolutionary War, 1778. Artist and illustrator James Montgomery Flagg born, 1877. Explorer Roald Amundsen disappeared and presumedly died, 1928. Winston Churchill delivered the "Finest Hour" speech in the British House of Commons, 1940. Actress Isabella Rossellini born, 1952. Saxophonist Clarence Clemons died, 2011. Waterloo Day, commemorated by some British Army regiments.
 
Wednesday 19th June   -   Eleanor de Montfort, Princess of Wales and Lady of Snowdon, died, 1282. The first Roanoke Colony abandoned Roanoke Island to return to England, 1586. Mathematician Blaise Pascal born, 1623. Botanist Sir Joseph Banks died, 1820. The first officially recorded and organised baseball game was played at Hoboken, New Jersey, 1846. Actress May Whitty born, 1865. The Garfield comic strip debuted, 1978. Sumo wrestler Aoiyama Kōsuke born, 1986. Koko, western lowland gorilla who learned to use American Sign Language, died, 2018.
 
Thursday 20th June   -   Ali az-Zahir, caliph of Egypt, born, 1005. Explorer and cartographer William Barentsz died, 1597. Algerian pirates sacked Baltimore in Ireland, 1631. Sculptor Jacques Saly born, 1717. King William IV of the United Kingdom died and Victoria succeeded to the British throne less than a month after turning 18, 1837. Biographer Claire Tomalin born, 1933. Mobster Bugsy Siegel murdered, 1947. Steven Spielberg's film Jaws was released in the U.S., beginning the trend of "summer blockbusters", 1975. World Refugee Day.


^ THE WISDOM OF...

This week, Anne Nicol Gaylor:
Nothing fails like prayer. [attrib.]


^ FILM QUIZ

A selection of quotations from films with a common actor or actress. Answers next issue or from the regular address. Last issue's quotations were from films starring John Cleese:


^ WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

IN BRIEF: The World Crazy Golf Championships have taken place at Hastings Adventure Golf in England, with competitors playing 9 rounds and were won by Marc Chapman with a final score of -17. ● A poll of British children has found an increase in the number of girls wanting to be engineers or scientists, and almost half believing that mankind will set foot on Mars within their lifetime. Sixty percent were concerned about the risk of climate breakdown. ● The Bolshaya Udina stratovolcano in Russia, long thought extinct, has woken up and experts are warning it could erupt with the ferocity of the Vesuvius eruption that buried Pompeii and Herculaneum in 79 CE. ● Constipated Chinese girl found to have more than 100 undigested "bubble tea" balls (tapioca balls drunk with tea as a snack in East Asia) in her stomach. ● Hundreds have taken part in the tenth annual office chair grand prix in Hanyu, Japan, where teams of three propel themselves backwards on office chairs around a street circuit for 2 hours; the winner is whichever team completes the most laps in the time allotted. ● NASA announces plans to open the International Space Station to tourists for just $35,000 (£27,500) per night with up to two short private astronaut missions a year, from 2020. ● Apple engineers in Cupertino, CA, spend two weeks and an estimated $10,000 (£7,850) in warranty costs trying fix MacBook Pro screen fault before someone realised the brightness setting was turned down [I can sympathise - I spent my 1988 gap year as a computer assistant at a prep school in Dorset and was presented with a BBC micro with a failed display by one of the pupils. I spent most of my lunch hour switching out components before the young fellow came back in and turned the monitor brightness back up... Nice to know the experts can have the same, if more expensive, issue. ;) -Ed] ● UK coastal village of Fairbourne in Wales drawing up plan to relocate entire village in ~35 years under threat of rising sea level. ● H.M.R.C. (Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs, the U.K. tax agency) spent £11m ($14m) on Amazon's cloud services last year, more than six times the corporation tax Amazon paid in the U.K. ● Vancouver grocery shop East West Market encouraging customers to make use of reusable bags by printing their single-use plastic bags with embarassing slogans including "Weird Adult Video Emporium" and "Wart Ointment Wholesale".

UPDATE: The rare Roman gold coin depicting the usurper emperor Allectus discovered by a metal detectorist has auctioned for a British-minted Roman coin record £552,000 ($700,620).


TRUMPWATCH - the sillier and more amusing stories around the U.S. president. Official photo of Trump, the Queen, Melania, Prince Charles and Camilla at Buckingham Palace last week show Trump scowling because he was not the centre of attention; White House photographers have revealed that while photos of previous presidents would take a few minutes to complete, Trump spends up to 90 minutes obsessing about his appearance. ● After poll shows every major 2020 rival beating Trump by clear margin Twitterati produce their own poll suggestions including "stepping on Legos 50% Trump 41%" (@GotThePower11), "Game of Thrones Season 8 - 47%, Trump - 41%" (@Santainc), "Root canal 46%, Trump 42%" (@jcl68nyr) and "Dolores Umbridge 46% Trump 41%" (@mlibra70). ● Heads of goverment gathered for D-Day commemorations in France signed D-Day proclamation "..to ensure that the unimaginable horror of these years is never repeated" at the bottom; Trump signed it at the top (image here [Twitter]). ● Trump waves folded paper containing details of "secret deal" with Mexico over immigrants at reporters; photographs reveal most of its contents. ● British expat talk show host James Corden's view of Trump's U.K. visit - "Up until yesterday, Trump thought Brexit was the most important meal of the day." ● Kellyanne Conway mocks Democrats for "picking their lawyers from TV", misses irony of Trump administration having hired more than a dozen former Fox News staffers, including to senior positions, since 2017. ● Stephen Colbert reacts to news that Trump administration is cancelling legal aid and English classes for unaccompanied immigrant children held in detention centres by suggesting Trump is now "campaigning for the Nobel Prize in Shame" (The Nobel Committee revealed last year that two letters nominating Trump for the Peace Prize were forgeries). ● Drain the swamp? News that Transport Secretary Elaine Chao funnelled tens of millions of dollars of grant money to her husband's state as he runs for re-election shows that it's just getting swampier under Trump. ● Trump orders NASA to return to the Moon, then sees Fox Business segment on Mars and an hour later orders NASA to forget the Moon and head to Mars... ● Trump administration rejects requests from U.S. embassies to fly the rainbow flag on official flagpoles to support Pride Month, (remember the much-critised, hypocritical and now hollow-sounding LGBT-supporting Trump tweet last month?) so they flew it from building facades (Seoul, Chennai), rainbow-coloured lights (New Delhi) and other means. ● Trump rants that he does not have absolute power over the Federal Reserve (because his record in business shows he would be so good with the national economy...). ● Trump plans to hijack traditionally bipartisan Independence Day celebrations with speech at Lincoln Memorial [We predict Photoshopping of Lincoln statue facepalming behind him -Ed]. ● Trump's attacks on Speaker Nancy Pelosi reveal that his real trigger is not mention of 'collusion', it's 'prison'... ● Former U.S. attorney Joyce White Vance tells Congress the Mueller Report contains enough evidence to convict Trump for obstruction of justice, were he not a sitting president. ● Nixon White House counsel and Watergate witness John Dean tells Congress House Judiciary Committee that he sees similarities between Nixon and Trump, and the Mueller Report is a "road map" ● Seth Meyers draws Seinfield comparison, calls Trump "the Kramer of international diplomacy" after European trip. ● US embassy in Dublin spent €888,721 (£796,365; $1.01m) to hire fleet of four limos from undertaker's firm for Trump's visit to Ireland. ● Trump compared situation with Northern Ireland-Eire border with that of US-Mexico border... ● French President Emmanuel Macron used D-Day commemoration speech to say that the U.S. "is never so great as when it fights for universal values".

^ ENTERTAINMENT BRIEFS

Square Enix & Crystal Dynamics debut Avengers MMO game at E3. ● Bob Harris taking break from broadcasting to recover from aorta repair surgery. ● Writer Jed Mercurio confirms in talks for second series of Bodyguard, probably set at least 18 months after first series climax. ● Nintendo confirms sequel to Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild in development; Animal Crossing delayed until March 2020. ● Ed Sheeran tops 2018 UK radio-play chart, ahead of Calvin Harris, Little Mix. ● George R.R. Martin working with FromSoftware to develop Elden Ring third-person RPG, presumably also writing long-overdue Fire and Ice. ● Elizabeth Hurley joining Marvel Television's Runaways as Morgan le Fay. ● Ridley Scott reveals Gladiator 2 to be set 25 years after original, focussed on Lucius, son of Lucilla. ● Goodle Stadia cloud gaming platform to launch in November with at least 30 games from Bethesda, Rockstar, Sega, EA Games, Square Enix, Ubisoft, Warner Bros and others. ● Poll find 1 in 5 British adults think J.K. Rowling should be made a dame; cast, crew and listeners of Radio 4's The Archers call for June Spencer, who has played Peggy Woolley since the show's debut in 1951 and will celebrate her 100th birthday this week to be made a dame. ● Justin Bieber challenges Tom Cruise to a cage fight, no explanation given and no response from Cruise. ● PUBG Mobile named top grossing mobile game, taking more than $146m (£114.63m) in revenue last month (total includes revenue from Chinese rebrand Game For Peace). ● Blackmailer demands $150,000 (£117,770) from Radiohead, threatens to leak stolen unreleased OK Computer demos, unfinished songs; Radiohead respond by publishing entire 18-hour collection through online vendor Bandcamp for £18 ($23) with proceeds going to Extinction Rebellion. ● Russia responds to HBO's hit Chernobyl miniseries by developing its own telling of the nuclear disaster, including unfounded claims that the CIA was involved. ● Amazon developing 'dramady' series based on Sandra Bullock's college years. ● Jaume Collet-Serra to direct Dwayne Johnson in Shazam! spinoff film Black Adam for DC, presumably not using Black Adam character's original name, Captain Marvel... ● Sheridan Smith rules herself out of appearing in Gavin and Stacey Christmas special. ● Signourney Weaver confirms joining Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd for Ghostbusters 3. ● DC Universe cancels already-reduced Swamp Thing TV series after first episode airs; will air remaining episodes. ● Speculation over why Taylor Swift merchandise includes a "your'e" typo, whether it is a genuine mistake or a clue to something forthcoming. ● Ali Stroker becomes first wheelchair user to win, or be nominated for, a Tony Award [list of winners below]. ● BBC to withdraw free television licences for pensioners unless they are recipients of pension credits, review followed then-Chancellor George Osborne's decision to pass cost of free licenses from government to the BBC. ● Tayari Jones wins 2019 Women's Prize for Fiction for An American Marriage. ● Microsoft reveals plans, few details, for next generation Xbox console, probably due November 2020-January 2021. ● Thousands sign petition calling on Netflix to renew cancelled Lucifer for sixth season. ● Will Mellor hoping to revive 90s sitcom Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps for one-off special. ● Denise van Outen, Richard Arnold to guest on Neighbours. ● BBC One's next Agatha Christie adaptation [or, given past form by screenwriter Sarah Phelps, rewrite] to be The Pale Horse.

Tony Awards: Best Play: The Ferryman; Best Musical: Hadestown; Best Revival of a Play: The Boys in the Band; Best Rivival of a Musical: Rodgers & Hammerstein's Oklahoma!; Best Book of a Musical: Tootsie, Robert Horn; Best Original Score (Music and/or Lyrics) Written for the Theatre: Hadestown, music & lyrics: Anaïs Mitchell; Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in a Play: Bryan Cranston, Network; Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role in a Play: Elaine May, The Waverly Gallery; Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in a Musical: Santino Fontana, Tootsie; Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role in a Musical: Stephanie J. Block, The Cher Show; Best Performance by an Actor in a Featured Role in a Play: Bertie Carvel, Ink; Best Performance by an Actress in a Featured Role in a Play: Celia Keenan-Bolger, To Kill a Mockingbird; Best Performance by an Actor in a Featured Role in a Musical: André De Shields, Hadestown; Best Performance by an Actress in a Featured Role in a Musical: Ali Stroker, Rodgers & Hammerstein's Oklahoma!; Best Scenic Design of a Play: Rob Howell, The Ferryman; Best Scenic Design of a Musical: Rachel Hauck, Hadestown; Best Costume Design of a Play: Rob Howell, The Ferryman; Best Costume Design of a Musical: Bob Mackie, The Cher Show; Best Lighting Design of a Play: Neil Austin, Ink; Best Lighting Design of a Musical: Bradley King, Hadestown; Best Sound Design of a Play: Fitz Patton, Choir Boy; Best Sound Design of a Musical: Nevin Steinberg & Jessica Paz, Hadestown; Best Direction of a Play: Sam Mendes, The Ferryman; Best Direction of a Musical: Rachel Chavkin, Hadestown; Best Choreography: Sergio Trujillo, Ain't Too Proud - The Life and Times of the Temptations; Best Orchestrations: Michael Chorney & Todd Sickafoose, Hadestown.

Queen's Birthday Honours include: Knighthood/Damehood: scupltor Rachel Whiteread, actor Simon Russell Beale, Tunnock's teacakes inventor Boyd Tunnock, anti-slavery commissioner Sara Thornton; CBE: actress Olivia Coleman, author Lee Child, author Joanna Trollope, photographer Terence O'Neil, music producer Mitch Murray, pianist Joanna MacGregor; OBE: musician Elvis Costello, singer Alfie Boe, comedian Griff Rhys Jones, adventurer and Chief Scout Bear Grylls, TV producer Alistair Fothergill, TV producer Andrew Harries, historian and broadcaster Bettany Hughes, singer-turned-music-executive Feargal Sharkey, author Sarah Waters, TV producer Nicola Shindler, journalist Brenda Emmanus, actress Cush Jumbo; MBE: rapper Mathangi Arulpraaagasam (M.I.A.), golfer Georgia Hall, netball player Ama Agbeze, cricketer Kyle Coetzer, chair of the Stephen Lawrence Charitable Trust Sonia Watson, historian and broadcaster Dan Snow, composer Anna Meredith, singer Jacqueline Dankworth, former soccer manager Chris Ramsay; BEM: Docklands Victims Association co-founder Wayne Gruba, street cleaner Thomas McArdle.


^ OBITUARIES

Middle-distance runner Gabriele Grunewald (2014 US 3,000m champion, ,32), singer Dr John (Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, "I Walk on Gilded Splinters", "Right Place, Wrong Time" ,77), playwright, actor, theatre and film director Girish Karnad (Heap of Broken Images, Tuglaq, Rakshasa Tangadi, 81), actor Carl Schell (Werewolf in a Girl's Dormitory, The Blue Max, Quick, Let's Get Married, 91), racing car driver Norman Dewis (chief test driver and development engineer for Jaguar Cars [1952-1985], 1953 production car land speed record, 98), supercentenarian Dolly Gibb (the oldest person in North America, 114).


^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:
5, 10, 24, 25, 30, 31
[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.


^ AND FINALLY...

    Little Jennifer's teacher was handing back the children's homework. "Alright, children," she said, "I asked you to write about your pets, and they were all very good but..." and she looked at two of the pupils who always sat next to each other, "Little Jennifer and Little Mary, your writings were identical. How come?"
    Little Mary looked guilty, but Little Jennifer smiled as only she could. "Miss, I don't have a pet so I wrote about Little Mary's hamster. We both wrote about the same pet!"


^ ...end of line