The Friday Irregular
Issue #533 - 28th June 2019

Edited by and copyright ©2019 Simon Lamont
tfir@simonlamont.co.uk

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Contents

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^ WORD OF THE WEEK
ranygazoo
  n. nonsense, foolishness


^ ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 28th June   -   Matilda of England died, 1189. The coronation of King Edward IV of England, 1461. Artist Peter Paul Rubens born, 1577. Giselle premiered at the Salle Le Petier in Paris, 1841. Astronomer Maria Mitchell died, 1889. Nobel laureate physicist Maria Goeppert-Mayer born, 1906. The Stonewall riots began in New York City, 1969. Businessman Elon Musk born, 1971. Screenwriter and producer Rod Serling died, 1975. Tau Day.
 
Saturday 29th June   -   Polymath Ramon Llull died, 1315. Sir Anthony Browne, standard bearer to King Henry VII of England, born, 1443. Aztec ruler Moctezuma II killed during the Spanish invasion, 1520. The first Globe Theatre in London burned down after a stage cannon misfired, 1613. Poet Lavinia Stoddard born, 1787. France annexed Tahiti, 1880. Animator Ray Harryhausen born, 1920. Ballet dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov defected to Canada while on tour with the Kirov Ballet, 1974. Actress Katherine Hepburn died, 2003.
 
Sunday 30th June   -   Nepotianus, ruler of Rome for 28 days, killed, 350. Conquistadors under Hernán Cortés fought their way out of Tenochtitlan, 1520. Poet John Gay born, 1685. Pirate John Quelch hanged, 1704. Acrobat Charles Blondin crossed Niagara Gorge on a tightrope, 1859. Artist Stanley Spencer born, 1891. The first emergency telephone number, 999, was introducted in London, 1937. Writer Nancy Mitford died, 1973. Comedian Katherine Ryan born, 1983. International Asteroid Day.
 
Monday 1st July   -   Byzantine forces defeated the Ostrogoths and killed King Totila at the Battle of Taginae, 552. Italian noblewoman Clara Gonzaga born, 1464. Lexell's Comet made the closest recorded cometary passage past Earth at about six times the distance to the Moon, 1770. Writer Velma Caldwell Melville born, 1858. Abolitionist and author Harriet Beecher Stowe died, 1896. The first Tour de France bicycle race began, 1903. Actress Julianne Nicholson born, 1971. Architect Richard Buckminster Fuller died. 1983. International Tartan Day.
 
Tuesday 2nd July   -   Elizabeth Tudor, daughter of King Henry VII of England, born, 1492. Spain ratified the Treaty of Tordesillas with Portugal, 1494. Astrologer Nostradamus died, 1566. Artist Theodoor Rombouts born, 1597. Thomas Savery patented the first commercial steam engine, 1698. Philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau died, 1778. Maria Theresa of Austria-Este, last Queen of Bavaria, born, 1849. Sibelius' tone poem Finlandia premiered in Helsinki, 1900. Writer Beryl Bainbridge died, 2010.
 
Wednesday 3rd July   -   Roman emperor Valentinian I born, 321. William became Duke of Normandy, 1035. French queen consort and regent Maria de' Medici died, 1642. Architect Robert Adam born, 1728. Pitcairn Island was discovered, 1767. American tribal leader Little Crow killed by white settlers, 1863. Author Evelyn Anthony born, 1928. Mallard set the still-current world speed record for a steam locomotive (125.88 mph; 202.58 km/h), 1938. Singer-songwriter Jim Morrison died, 1971.
 
Thursday 4th July   -   Chinese astronomers recorded supernova SN 1054, now the Crab Nebula, 1054. Composer William Byrd died, 1623. Geographer and surveyor George Everest born, 1790. The United States Military Academy at West Point, New York, opened, 1802. Cartoonist Rube Goldberg born, 1883. Astronomer Giovanni Schiaparelli died, 1910. William Shockley announced the invention of the junction transister, 1951. Tennis player Pam Shriver born, 1962. Singer Bernie Nolan died, 2013.


^ THE WISDOM OF...

This week, Katherine Hepburn:
I'm an atheist, and that's it. I believe there's nothing we can know except that we should be kind to each other and do what we can for each other.


^ FILM QUIZ

A mixed bag of quotations. Answers next issue or from the regular address. Last issue's quotations were from films starring Johnny Depp:


^ WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

IN BRIEF: Anyone who has bought software or online services will have seen an end-user license agreement (EULA), even if few people read them in detail. Paper towel dispenser company Tork has now attached a EULA to their dispensers to try to stop people refilling them with towels from other suppliers. ● Blackburn Rovers fan Andy Maxfield has broken the world record for pushing a walk-behind lawnmower the furthest distance in 24 hours, breaking the previous record of 57.6 miles (92.7km) by doing laps around his team's soccer pitch. ● Cat survives 40-mile (64.4km) trip stuck in car engine compartment. ● The first day of summer saw almost 2' (61cm) of snow falling in Colorado. ● SpaceX founder Elon Musk tweets "Occupy Mars" above picture of the Moon... ● Mexican rescue dog Frida who saved 12 people's lives, located 40 bodies in earthquake and other operations across Mexico, Guatemala, Haiti and Ecuador, and became a symbol hope, retires "with honour" after nine years' service. ● First footage (and only second ever sighting) of giant squid in US waters taken by oceanographers in Gulf of Mexico. ● Potentially record-breaking heatwave across western European mainland sees France postponing exams, closing schools. ● US Christian group Return to Order gathers 20,000-signature petition against TV adaptation of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's Good Omens (demon and angel unite to stop Armageddon), sends it to Netflix - who are nothing to do with it; it is a BBC/Amazon co-production. Netflix respond with joke "promise" to halt production immediately.● Seals trained to 'sing' "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" and Star Wars theme. [No "Kiss From a Rose"? -Ed] ● Japanese railway shutdown blamed on "rogue slug" shorting power circuit. ● Tesco customer notices best before date on sachet of burger relish given as '20140'; supermarket explain that it had been converted to the Julian calendar last used 350 years ago for traceability by their supplier.



TRUMPWATCH. Trump shares video showing him as president forever. ● Federal judge denies Justice Department's request to put emoluments lawsuit against Trump on hold, and denies request for appeals. ● Messaging system used to send presidential warnings to public found to be easily spoofed. ● Robert Mueller to testify to both Judiciary and Intelligence Congressional committees in public on July 17. ● Much-criticised-by-Trump London mayor Sadiq Khan tells room full of teachers at Together for Education event in Westminster "For those of you that have your phones on, if somebody starts tweeting about me - a 6ft 3 child in the White House - can you let me know?" to laughter and applause. ● Petition with 34,000+ signatures calling for Kellyanne Conway's resignation presented to House Committee on Oversight and Reform ahead of Hatch Act hearing. ● Trump tweets praise for himself for stock market rally, tags Wall Street Journal as '@WallStreetJour' - The Wall Street Journal's Twitter tag is @WSJ; @WallStreetJour belongs to a fake Russian Twitter account... ● Leaked cache of almost 100 internal vetting documents, outsourced by Mike Pence to small team of 20-something Republican National Congress researchers, show Trump ignored red flag warnings about many of his appointees' lack of management ability, ties to industry or ties to Russia; White House does not deny it. Further evidence comes from email sent by Environmental Protection Agency to Kelly Craft, Trump-appointed US ambassador to Canada, which was replied to by her husband, whos is a coal magnate. ● Trump's Iran woes rumble on as he declares a fresh round of sanctions targetting Iran's leader, the "Ayatollah Khomeini" - who died in 1989; Iran's living leader is Ayatollah Khamenai, who mocked the sanctions - as he never leaves the country the ban on entering America will not affect him. Trump also says he wants open dialogue with Iran, but Iran government dismiss any chance with sanctions in place. Even Fox News doubting Trump's explanation for calling off air strike and only being told potential casualties after launch (Trump tried claiming he called it off before planes were in the air; nobody believes him). ● Republican Texas Respresentative Michael McCaul describe immigration camps as the "worst" he's even seen through 15 years in Congress and as a federal prosecutor before that. Wayfair Inc. e-commerce facing employee walkout over doing business with BCFS, the contractor managing the Southern border immigration camps. Fox News' Shep Smith comments that were the children in the camps prisoners-of-war the Trump administration, which claims they do not need toothbrushes, soap, towels or beds, would be in contravention of the Geneva Conventions. Acting commissioner of the US Customs and Border Protection agency John Sanders quitting amid backlash. With impeccable timing Melania Trump announces 21 ambassadors within government agencies for her 'Be Best' initiative to improve children's lives... Trump, of course, thinks his government is doing "a fantastic job" on the border. ● Mike Pence tells TV interviewer that the Trump administration "will always follow the science" on climate change [pseudoscience, maybe... -Ed], in the week it was revealed that dozens of government-funded studies which reveal amongst other things the threat to food supplies and health, have been buried by the administration. ● Trump sends letter to his second-favourite dictator [after his beloved Vlad], Kim Jong-un; days later Pyongyang accuses US of "extremely hostile acts" that "viciously slandered" North Korea.

^ ENTERTAINMENT BRIEFS

As Google Stadia game streaming service prepares for November launch and Sony partner with Microsoft to produce rival service consumer affairs bodies warn of risks of data harvesting on a scale far beyond that already seen with social media companies. ● Musicians including Hole, Soundgarden, estates of Tom Petty and Tupac Shakur suing Universal Music over master recordings, unreleased music, other items lost in 2008 warehouse fire, full details of which only recently came to light. ● Marvel films boss Kevin Feige reveals that phase 3 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe did not end with Avengers: Endgame, will end with Spider-Man: Far From Home; Avengers: Endgame to be re-released in extended version. ● Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery exhibition marking 50 years of Black Sabbath includes recreation of super fan Stephen Knowles' living room, some of the 1000+ Black Sabbath t-shirts he has collected. ● Bruce Springsteen's Western Stars beats Madonna's Madame X to top UK album chart knocking Lewis Capaldi to #3; Ed Sheeran, Justin Bieber collaboration holds #1 UK singles spot for sixth week. ● 'Constructed language' conference takes place in Cambridge, includes discussions on languages including Klingon (Star Trek), Sindarin (The Lord of the Rings and Dothraki (Game of Thrones) [HIjol! -Ed] ● Danny Boyle rules out making any more Trainspotting films "at the moment", also reveals that a TV prequel series based on The Beach has been written by Amy Seimetz, yet to be greenlit. ● DC shuttering DC Vertigo, DC Ink and DC Zoom imprints in favour of age-related ones - DC Kids (8-12), DC (13+) and DC Black Label (17+). ● Toy Story 4 breaks global box office record for animated film, taking $238m (£187m) over opening weekend. ● Disneyland's new Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge ride filled to capacity within first 50 minutes of opening, 'virtual queues' in operation until 4:45pm. ● Dominican-American poet Elizabeth Acevedo become first writer of colour to win Carnegie Medal, for debut novel The Poet X. ● Sir Elton John awarded the Legion d'Honneur by French government; Disney reveal live/CG The Lion King will include a new song by him. ● 'Lost' Freddie Mercury track "Time Waits For No One" unearthed, broadcast on BBC Radio 2. ● The Eagles, disbanded after Glenn Frey's 2016 death, start UK leg of world tour with Frey's son Deacon taking his father's place. ● James Wan confirms Aquaman spinoff The Trench in development, describes it as "going to play more as a monster horror movie than it will a superhero film". ● UK parliamentary culture select committee slam The Jeremy Kyle Show producers for using lie detector tests without knowing their accuracy [~50%, but easily fooled -Ed]; as reported in a previous TFIr Kyle himself had refused to give evidence. ● League of Legends players in Iran find themselves blocked because subscriptions are paid to California-based Riot Games and sanctions stopped them. ● Mark Rylance resigns from Royal Shakespeare Company in protest at sponsorship by oil company BP. ● Marvel launch Marvel Spotlight superhero plays for high school drama productions. ● After In Touch tabloid magazine incorrectly reported Mila Kunis, Ashton Kutcher to separate, couple troll them with humorous Instagram video of them 'discovering' that they are splitting and captioned "Have fun selling magazines this week. Maybe next week my wife will be having twins. For the third time. But who's counting." ● Emily Ruskovich wins €100,000 (£89,600 ;$113,700) International Dublin Literary Award for debut novel Idaho. ● David Gilmour auctions 126 of his guitars, raises more than $21m (£16.55m) for ClientEarth nonprofit environmental law organisation. ● Ray Winstone joins cast for Marvel's upcoming Avengers prequel Black Widow. ● Warner Bros, Wachowskis, reported to be planning fourth The Matrix film, with Michael B. Jordan taking lead role; not stated whether it will be a sequel, prequel, spinoff or reboot. ● Rusty revolver found in field near Auvers-sur-Oise, France, in 1965, speculated to be the one Vincent van Gogh shot himself with (he died of the injury days later) auctions for €162,500 (£144,000; $182,000). ● Lucasfilm Story Group's Pablo Hidalgo spots mistake in The Empire Strikes Back that had seemingly gone unnoticed for 39 years - when Luke Skywalker's lightsaber is half-buried in the Wampa cave you can see the words "NEW YORK" on its base [It was built around a Graflex camera flash holder with "MADE IN NEW YORK" inscribed; the first part was covered by prop elements.] ● Full-size Commodore 64 console due for Christmas, will be based on C64 Mini but include keyboard, better joystick and more games, including text adventure. ● Audiobook sales in UK rose 43% in 2018; bestselling title was Michelle Obama's Becoming. ● Despite Toy Story 4's success, Chinese box office topped by 2001 Studio Ghibli film Spirited Away, which took almost twice as much as Disney/Pixar's film; although it has been available on DVD and pirated downloads Spirited Away has not been on general release in China until now.

BET Awards - Album of the Year: Cardi B, Invasion of Privacy; Best Group: Migos; Best Female Hip Hop Artist: Cardi B; Best Male Hip Hop Artist: Nipsey Hussle; Best Female R&B/Pop Artist: Beyoncé; Best Male R&B/Pop Artist: Bruno Mars; Viewers' Choice Award: Ella Mai, "Trip"; Best Movie: BlacKkKlansman; Video of the Year: Childish Gambino, "This Is America"; Best Actress: Regina King; Best Actor: Michael B. Jordan; Best New International Act (Fan Voted Category): Sho Madjozi; Best International Act: Burna Boy; Dr Bobby Jones Best Gospel/Inspirational Award: Snoop Dogg ft Rance Allen, "Blessing Me Again"; Young Stars Award: Marsai Martin; Best New Artist: Lil Baby; Best Collaboration: Travis Scott ft Drake, "Sicko Mode"; Video Director of the Year: Karena Evans; Sportswoman of the Year: Serena Williams; BET Her Award: H.E.R., "Hard Place"; Humanitarian Award: Nipsey Hussle; Icon Award: Tyler Perry; Lifetime Achievement Award: Mary J. Blige.


^ OBITUARIES

Hollywood publicist David Lust (clients included Nancy Travis, Jessica Walters, Illeana Douglas, 55), Thomas 'TC' Campbell (falsely convicted of Glasgow's "Ice Cream Wars" murders, pardoned and released in 2004 after 20 years in jail, 66), actor Douglas Fielding (Z-Cars, Holding On, Privateer 2: The Darkening, 73), civil rights campaigner Ivan Cooper (Northern Ireland Civil Rights Association, one of the leaders of the "Bloody Sunday" march, 75) music executive and manager Elliot Roberts (Asylum Records, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, 76), actor William Simons (Heartbeat, Crown Court, No Place For Jennifer, 79), actor Bryan Marshall (The Spy Who Loved Me, Quatermass and the Pit, BMX Bandits, 81), Disney script supervisor Edle Bakke (Tron, MacGyver, The Magical World of Disney, 91), author Judith Krantz (Scruples, Princess Daisy, Till We Meet Again, 91).


^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:
6, 19, 24, 34, 35, 40
[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.


^ AND FINALLY...

    Little Jennifer's class were learning about words used to describe people. "Alright, children," the teacher said, "who can tell me what we call someone who keeps telling jokes?"
    Little Simon's hand went up. "A comedian, Miss."
    "Very good, Little Simon. Now, what do we call someone who keeps your secrets?"
    After a moment Little Emily's hand went up. "A confidential, Miss?"
    "Close, Little Emily, it's 'confidant'. Now, who can tell me what we call someone who keeps on talking when nobody is interested in what they're saying?"
    Little Jennifer smiled as only she could and her hand shot up. "That's a teacher, Miss!"


^ ...end of line