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Issue #552 - 21st February 2020
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Friday 21st February - King James I of Scotland assassinated, 1437. Emperor Peter III of Russia born, 1728. The first self-propelling steam locomotive started running at the Penydarren Ironworks in Wales, 1804. Gerald Holtom designed the CND logo, now known as the peace symbol, 1958. Writer Anaïs Nin born, 1903. Nobel laureate biochemist and pharmacologist Gertrude B. Elion died, 1999. International Mother Language Day (UNESCO). Saturday 22nd February - Explorer and cartographer Amerigo Vespucci died, 1512. Philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer born, 1788. A 1400-strong force of French soldiers landed at Fishguard, Wales, in support of the Society of United Irishmen, in the last invasion of mainland Britain, 1797. Artist Constance Stokes born, 1906. The Great White Fleet returned to the U.S. after sailing around the world, 1909. Journalist Marie Colvin assassinated on the orders of the Syrian government, 2012. Sunday 23rd February - The Ballet Royal de la Nuit was first performed, in Paris, 1653. Composer George Frideric Handel born, 1685. Artist Joshua Reynolds died, 1792. Theoretical physicist Werner Heisenberg described his uncertainty principle for the first time, 1927. Singer and actress Linda Nolan born, 1959. Pianist and Holocaust survivor Alice Herz-Sommer died, 2014. Monday 24th February - King Æthelbehrt of Kent died, 616. The Scots defeated the English at the Battle of Roslin in the First War of Scottish Independence, 1303. Artist and engraver Cherubino Alberti born, 1553. Andrew Johnson became the first President of the U.S. to be impeached by the House of Representatives (he would later be acquitted in the Senate), 1868. Singer-songwriter and guitarist Michelle Shocked born, 1962. Actress Dinah Shore died, 1994. Tuesday 25th February - Edward Plantagenet, last male member of the House of York, born, 1475. Architect Christopher Wren died, 1723. Samuel Colt was granted the U.S. patent for his revolver, 1836. Princess Alice of Battenberg born, 1885. Author Grace Metalious died, 1964. The Warsaw Pact was abolished, 1991. Wednesday 26th February - Writer and assassin Lorenzo de' Medici murdered, 1548. Playwright Christopher Marlowe born, 1564. The Roman Catholic Church formally banned Galileo from teaching or defending the theory that the Earth orbits the Sun, 1616. Chef and broadcaster Fanny Cradock born, 1909. Adolf Hitler violated the Treaty of Versailles by ordering the Luftwaffe to be re-formed, 1935. Actress Wendy Richard died, 2009. Thursday 27th February - Eastern Roman Emperor Theodosius II founded the University of Constantinople, 425. Pirate Roche Braziliano born, 1630. Diarist John Evelyn died, 1706. The Reichstag parliament building in Berlin was set on fire in a false flag operation to solidify Nazi power, 1933. Actress Kate Mara born, 1983. Comedian Linda Smith died, 2006. World NGO Day.
This week, Sir Christopher Wren's memorial inscription in St Paul's Cathedral, London:Si monumentum requiris, circumspice [If you want a monument, look around].
A selection of quotations from films with the same director. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were from films directed by Howard Hawks:
- - A gun and a radio. It's not exactly Christmas, is it?
- Were you expecting an exploding pen? We don't really go in for that anymore.- Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die.
- Under the Special Measures Act of 2001, I am detaining you on behalf of Her Majesty's Government.
- I hoped today might be a good day. Hope is a dangerous thing. That's it for now, then next week Command will send a different message. Attack at dawn. There is only one way this war ends. Last man standing.
- May you get to Heaven an hour before the Devil knows you're dead.
- I always say a kiss on the hand might feel very good, but a diamond tiara lasts forever.
-- Gentlemen Prefer Blondes [1953]- Watch the skies, everywhere! Keep looking. Keep watching the skies!
-- The Thing (From Another World) [1951]- Don't you know any better than to wake a man up at two o'clock in the afternoon?
-- The Big Sleep [1946]- When a man is wrestling a leopard in the middle of a pond, he's in no position to run.
-- Bringing Up Baby [1938]- - You have been drinking a little, hmm?
- No ma'am. I've been drinkin a lot.
-- Hatari! [1962]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
- Last October Abby Mathews adopted a 23-year-old parrot called Sweet Pea. She knew that the bird could probably speak, and that its former owners went through a messy divorce, but she was not prepared for what the bird might say. For the last few months it has been addressing her children as 'f***er' and 'a**hole' and screaming that "I've got bills to pay!" Sweet Pea had been so stressed with her previous family that she had pulled out many of her feathers, and Mathews has no plans to part with her - "The kids think it's absolutely hysterical, and I have to tell them not to repeat it at school," she said, adding that when the children are in bed she is trying to teach the parrot to make farting noises, and just hopes Sweet Pea does not learn to say 'Alexa'; there were reports last year of parrots ordering things on Amazon via the company's 'smart' listening device (for more on Alexa, see below).
- One of the more unusual effects of Storm Dennis, which swept across Britain last weekend, a week after Storm Ciara, was a cargo ship washed ashore off the coast of County Cork in Ireland. The Irish Coast Guard dispatched a rescue crew but they found nobody aboard and further research revealed that the U.S. Coast Guard had rescued the crew of 10 from the ship, named the M/V Alta, as it faced engine trouble in the face of an approaching hurricane 1,300 miles (2,100km) south-east of Bermuda in September 2018, since when the ship has been drifting. In September 2019 the Royal Navy ship HMS Protector recorded a sighting of it in the mid-Atlantic. There does not appear to be any pollution leaking from the Alta, and its fate on the Irish rocks remains unclear, as the question of ownership is unresolved and the cost of salvaging estimated as too high. Ultimately the Irish Coastguard, Cork County Council and the Receiver of Wrecks will decide what to do with the former "ghost ship".
- Three professors at the University of Chicago, Ben Zhao, Heather Zheng and Pedro Lopes, have developed a bracelet which emits ultrasonic noise, inaudible to humans but which will effectively jam the microphones on 'smart' devices like Amazon's Alexa or Google's Home which are causing increased concern for their effect on privacy, after it emerged that third-party employees were listening to Alexa's recordings, to help 'train' the system, and evidence came to light that despite only supposedly recording after hearing the wake-up word 'Alexa' Amazon's device was being used to target advertising based on overheard normal conversations while supposedly inactive. Jamming devices already exist, but are directional, and need to be pointed at the 'smart' speaker; the bracelet is omnidrectional, and because people often wave thir hands around when speaking, should be more effective. Unfortunately there are no current plans for the jamming bracelets to go into production, although the team have published their schematics online for anyone - with a little electrical engineering skill - to make.
- A company in Washington State, America, has developed a novel alternative to burial or cremation of dead bodies that is better for the environment. Recompose's system seals the body in a closed tube with alfalfa, woodchips and straw grass. The tube is slowly rotated for 30 days as microbes break down the tissue and bones, after which the contents have become usable compost, able to be scattered or planted with a tree, for example. It has taken the company four years and the help of a soil specialist to perfect the system, which has received bi-partisan support from state politicians because it will prevent the 1.4 tonnes of CO2 emitted by a cremation. Six volunteers agreed to donate their bodies for testing while the system was being perfected, and it was found that a body typically reached 55oC (131oF) for a time during the process, ensuring that "the vast majority of [disease causing organisms] and pharmaceuticals" that survived the bodies' death were destroyed. Recompose plan to open for public business later this year, initially just in Washington, the only state where natural organic reduction is legal, but other states - and countries - have shown an interest.
- A photograph of two mice fighting over a scrap of food on a platform of the London Underground has won photographer Sam Rowley the LUMIX People's Choice Award at the 2019 Wildlife Photographer of the Year awards. Rowley spent time lying on the platform waiting for a fight to break out, which was a rare occurence because so much food was dropped by passengers, finally managing to photograph the split-second 'Station Squabble' before the mice went their separate ways. The overall winner, chosen by photography experts was Yongqing Bao's 'The Moment' photograph of a Himalayan marmot being surprised by a predator.
- Tracy Brabin, Labour MP for Batley and Spen, and Shadow Culture Secretary, prompted trolling and debate on Twitter and much media, er, coverage after leaning on the dispatch box for support while raising a point of order in the Commons (she had a broken ankle), causing her dress to slip off her shoulder. Dress codes have been relaxed in recent years, with ties now optional for men in the chamber, but a bare shoulder?! Retired colonels across the country were spluttering in fury behind their newspapers... Brabin later explained that she had been to a music event earlier and was not expecting to be called to speak, but she took the abuse in her stride, later auctioning the size 12 Asos black pencil dress on eBay, raising £20,200 ($26,178) which she donated to the Girl Guides.
- Samastipur, India, resident Shankar Rai was bitten in his sleep by a venomous snake. By the morning his condition was worsening so he held his wife's hands, told her he wanted them to be united in death, and promptly bit her wrist so the venom would kill her as well. Doctors rushed the unconscious couple to hospital where Rai died, but his wife, who had succumbed to the poison later, was saved. She later told reporters that she knew how much Rai loved her and had allowed him to bite her.
- Tennessee Republican state Senator Joey Hensley has attracted the ire of women across the state after questioning a Democrat proposal to add the purchase of tampons and sanitary towels to a list of items included in the state's annual sales tax holiday, a three-day weekend when the tax is lifted on certain goods. Hensley's concern is that "since it's a sales tax holiday, there's really no limit on the number of items anybody can purchase." An increasing number of states have already exempted women's sanitary products from sales tax, but an attempt to do so in Tennessee failed last year, although proceeds from gun shows, county fair admissions and private gym fees are exempt. Meanwhile in neighbouring Alabama Representative Rolanda Hollis (D-Birmingham) has filed a bill that would require all men over the age of 50, or who have three children ("whichever comes first") to get a vasectomy "at his own expense". Hollis said her bill was a response to last year's bill banning abortion under all but mother's-life-threatening situations (currently blocked pending legal challenges).
- The biggest complete fossilised turtle shell ever found has been discovered in the Tatacoa Desert in Colombia. It is 8'- (2.4m)-long, suggesting that the turtle was the size of a modern small car. Fossilised fragments of shells from Stupendemys geographicus turtles had been found in Brazil, Venezuela and Colombia before. The shell had massive horns to protect the turtle, but also bore bite marks suggesting that they were preyed upon by the extinct Gryposuchus and Purussaurus giant crocodiles, which grew up to 40' (12.2m) in length. It is thought that S. geographicus became extinct around 5 million years ago.
- Tony Comer, historian at GCHQ (Government Communications Headquarters), the British government's intelligence gathering and security centre, has revealed details of a 1950s romance between two co-workers at the top secret organisation. Back then, in the days before email, the GCHQ offices - then in Oakley, Cheltenham - used a system of pneumatic tubes known as Lansom tubes to send messages up to 400 yards (366m) away in seconds. A former RAF serviceman employed there wanted to propose to his girlfriend, who worked in another offfice in the same building, analysing the Soviet air force, but was too shy to ask her in person, so he wrote his proposal in a letter and sent it via the Lansom tubes. Rather than replying in kind, she walked to his office and accepted. It is not recorded whether he was disciplined for misusing the tube system - supposedly for confidential communications - but they were married for more than 30 years. Although GCHQ revealed the story to mark Valentine's Day last week the identities of the couple have been kept secret because of the nature of their work, and the contents of the proposal letter have been kept private.
IN BRIEF: Head of U.S.'s national observatories calls for search for extraterrestrial intelligent life to be taken more seriously, better funded. ● Authenticated new Banksy mural to mark Valentine's Day defaced with graffiti less than a day later. ● The International Space Station now has a British-built component - a new communications antenna to enable home broadband-speed links. ● Students mistakenly accepted for places at Mayo Clinic Alix School of Medicine after computer error then denied places crowdfund delivery of 2,000 gallons of mayonnaise to admissions director. ● Instagram influencer fools followers into thinking she was on holiday in Bali by being photographed in front of tropical beach pictures at her local IKEA. ● Russian woman escaped coronavirus quarantine ward by short-circuiting door lock, now sued by authorities for endangering public. ● Victorian former public toilet building in Bridgend auctions for £61,000 ($79,052), will be repurposed. ● Small tornado caught on dashboard camera crossing M25 near Chertsey, Surrey. ● Russian volunteers find 130 ginger cats - all related to single pregnant stray - living with woman in single-bedroom apartment. ● Woman, 23, wins £545,000 ($706,285) "dream house" with £2 ($2.60) ticket in raffle held after owner was unable to sell it. ● Man attempting to rob Yakima, Washington, fast food joint leaves empty-handed after cashier tells him "You're not robbing s***" and "I will beat your a**. You want to go outside and handle this?"
Alec Baldwin, best known these days for his Saturday Night Live portrayal of Trump tweets comparison of U.S. and Nazi Germany: "You wonder how Hitler took control of a once great country. For those of you too young to recall the War or its aftermath, simply watch how this GOP-controlled Senate behaves. Their snivelling fealty and lack of courage. And you begin to get it." ● Conservative Washington Post columnist Max Boot describes Trump's actions since Senate acquittal, including "seeking retribution against his real and perceived enemies" and "trying to protect Roger Stone for lying under oath" as "really banana republic stuff." ● Former Representative Mark Sanford (R-SC 2013-19) accuses Trump of "driving the country to financial ruin" after Congressional Budget Office warns deficit will top $1tn (£0.77tn), slams Republican lawmakers for looking "the other way". ● Neal Katyal, acting solicitor general under Obama, warns Trump of "robust tradition of law" in the U.S., and that "the law is going to come after him." ● Former ethics chief Walter Shaub mocks Ivanka Trump's taxpayer-funded trip to Dubai to meet officials, address Global Women's Forum, coincidentally timed with 3rd anniversary celebrations at Trump International Golf Club Dubai (the opening of which cost U.S. taxpayers nearly $250,000 (£192,911) for the Secret Service to protect Eric and Donny Junior who attended its opening). ● Ben Rhodes, Obama's deputy national security adviser, told MSNBC that John Bolton's book will highlight the "unprecendeted level of corruption" in the Trump administration. ● Democrat super PAC Priorities USA launch attack ad comparing Trump to a 'caudillo', a Latin American dictator.
Trump tweeted misquote of Ralph Waldo Emerson's "When you strike at a king, you must kill him" - Trump changed it to "the king" [our emphasis] prompting expected Twitter reaction from "Fool, you ain't no king." [ignore the double negative... -Ed] to "This may be the most sinister tweet Trump has ever posted. He is comparing himself with a king and threatening to use his powers for revenge on those who questioned his abuse of power." (@BarbMcQuade) while Christine Pelosi, daughter of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, hit back with another Emerson quotation - "For every minute you are angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness. - Ralph Waldo Emerson. He is not a king / he is an angry #impeached4life man who wants to draw everyone else into his hate and fury. #Resist. Find your joy. Organize for change and #VoteHimOut! #SaturdayThoughts"
Trump has pardoned 11 white collar criminals including former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, while attorney general William Barr has ordered a review of the Michael Flynn case, after writing that he is considering quitting his job in protest at Trump's tweeting about active cases - seen more as an attempt to shore up criticism of the Department of Justice than a real threat to quit; while more than 2,000 former employees of the Department have signed a letter demanding Barr resign and the Federal Judges' Association are to convene an emergency meeting to discuss his behaviour over the Roger Stone case and others. Meanwhile Trump has been accused by a former prosecutor of running a crime syndicate out of the West Wing with Barr as his 'Consigliere'. ● Trump has tweeted denying that he has ever meddled in any case but claiming "the legal right" to intervene in criminal cases.
The Trump administration has submitted a brief 2-page report to Congress laying out its justification for the killing of Iranian general Qassem Soleimani. Nowhere in the report does it mention any "imminent attack" which Trump and top officials claimed as the reason in the immediate aftermath; insead it refers to a desire to "deter" Iran from "further attacks" on U.S. personnel and interests. House Foreign Affairs Committee Chairman Eliot Engel (D-NY) dismissed the report at an "after-the-fact explanation" that "directly contradicts the president's false assertion" of an imminent attack. ● The Republican-controlled Senate has passed a bill limiting Trump's ability to go to war with Iran without Congress either declaring war or passing a resolution to allow a specific use of force. Eight Republican senators voted for the bill, against Trump's tweeted wishes.
A Texas Trump supporter is complaining that the vanity border wall will "ruin my lifestyle" by passing across a parcel of his land he sold to the federal government for it.
The $10bn (£7.72bn) Joint Enterprise Defense Infrastructure cloud computing contract the Pentagon signed with Microsoft has been put on hold pending a judicial review after Amazon filed a legal challenge, claiming that Trump directed the Pentagon to sign with Microsoft's bid rather than Amazon's because he has a personal vendetta against Amazon founder/CEO Jeff Bezos, who also owns the Trump-criticising Washington Post.
British political broadcaster and journalist Andrew Neill, in an interview with New York Magazine, has said that Trump told him he would only run for president so he could charge higher speaking fees than Bill Clinton, while Rupert Murdoch, whose Fox News frequently acts as a mouthpiece for Trump, "doesn't rate him as a politician" and considered him a bad businessman.
Monday was Presidents' Day in the U.S., a federal holiday, which Trump marked by tweeting "HAPPY PRESIDENT'S DAY", changing the celebration from all presidents to just one. The reaction on Twitter ranged from "Apostrophes matter" with a picture of Obama captioned "When you know your shit" beside one of Trump captioned "When you know you're shit" (@jackiegontarek), "It's a day for HAPPY presidents, not miserable, angry, deranged, crooked ones" (@gregolear) and "I think today is only for presidents who haven't been impeached..." (@repmarkpocan) to "You're resigning?!!? Fantastic, a happy president's day indeed!" (@sdm1177).
Pastor Hank Kunneman has claimed that God will save Americans from the COVID-19 coronavirus because Trump's administration has "aligned themselves" with the right side of life. Not surprisingly then, there have been at least 479 people suspected of carrying the virus in the U.S. according to the Centers for Disease Control, at least 15 of whom have been confirmed as infected.
Television presenter Caroline Flack (Love Island, Strictly Come Dancing, The X Factor, 40), DJ and producer Andrew Weatherall (New Order, Happy Mondays, Primal Scream, 56), stuntwoman Cheryl Sanders (Lethal Weapon 2, Die Hard, Charlie's Angels, 59), astronomer and broadcaster Heather Couper (Cosmic Quest, Britain's Space Race, Starwatch, 70), actress Kellye Nakahara Wallett (M*A*S*H, She's Having a Baby, Clue, 72), actor John Shrapnel (Troy, 101 Dalmatians, Gladiator, 77), actress Lynn Cohen (Sex and the City, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Manhattan Murder Mystery, 86), soccer player Harry Gregg (Northern Ireland, Manchester United, survivor and hero of the Munich air disaster, 87), author and playwright A.E. Hotchner (The Man Who Lived at the Ritz, Let 'Em Rot!, The White House, 102).
^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:26, 40, 56, 57, 58, 59[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.
Little Jennifer's father had taken his wife and daughter out to a posh restaurant for dinner. At the end of the expensive meal he called a waiter over and asked him "Could we have a doggy bag for the leftovers, please?"
Little Jennifer looked puzzled, then smiled as only she could. "Are we getting a pet dog, daddy?" she asked, excitedly.
^ ...end of line