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Issue #554 - 6th March 2020
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| Contents | — – o o O o o – — |
^ WORD OF THE WEEK
glabrous |
Friday 6th March - King John of England lost control of Normandy to the French with the fall of Château Gaillard to a siege, 1204. Artist and sculptor Michelangelo born, 1475. Frontiersman Davy Crockett died at the Battle of the Alamo, 1836. Dmitri Mendeleev presented the first periodic table to the Russian Chemical Society, 1869. Actress Ellen Muth born, 1981. Nancy Reagan, 42nd First Lady of the United States, died, 2016. The Day of the Dude. Saturday 7th March - Scottish outlaw Rob Roy MacGregor born, 1671. Napoleon captured Jaffa in Palestine, 1799. Abolitionist Harriet Ann Jacobs died, 1897. Mathematician Olga Ladyzhenskaya born, 1922. Divers from the USS Preserver located the crew cabin of Space Shuttle Challenger on the ocean floor, 1986. Filmmaker Stanley Kubrick died, 1999. Sunday 8th March - Beatrice of Castile born, 1293. Astronomer Johannes Kepler discovered the third law of planetary motion, 1618. William of Orange, King of England, Ireland and Scotland, died, 1702. The New York Stock Exchange was founded, 1817. Writer Michael S. Hart, founder of Project Gutenberg, born, 1947. Actress Karen Morley died, 2003. International Women's Day. Monday 9th March - Excplorer and cartographer Amerigo Vespucci born, 1454. David Rizzio, private secretary to Mary, Queen of Scots, murdered, 1566. The marriage of Napoléon Bonaparte and Joséphine de Beauharnais, 1796. CBS television broadcast the watershed "A Report on Senator Joseph McCarthy" episode of See It Now, 1954. Actress Juliette Binoche born, 1964. Activist Doris Haddock died, 2010. Tuesday 10th March - The 11-year Personal Rule began with the dissolution of Parliament by King Charles I, 1629. Artist William Etty born, 1787. Antiquarian and cartographer John Pinkerton died, 1826. The Mexican-American War ended with the ratification of the Treaty of Guadalupe-Hidalgo by the U.S. Senate, 1848. Book editor Judith Jones born, 1924. Writer and art historian Anita Brookner died, 2016. Mario Day. Wednesday 11th March - Roman emperor Elagabalus assassinated, 222. Mary of Woodstock, daughter of Edward I of England, born, 1279. The first issue of The Daily Courant, England's first national daily newspaper, was published, 1702. Writer Douglas Adams born, 1952. Engineer and computer scientist Tim Berners-Lee submitted his proposal for an information management system that would become the World Wide Web to CERN, 1989. Actress and singer Myfanwy Talog died, 1995. Johnny Appleseed Day in the U.S. Thursday 12th March - The Williamite War in Ireland began with James II of England's landing at Kinsale, 1689. Composer Thomas Arne born, 1710. Writer Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach died, 1916. Mathatma Gandhi began the 200-mile Salt Marsh, 1930. Actress and singer Liza Minnelli born, 1946. Author Terry Pratchett died, 2015. World Day Against Cyber Censorship.
This week, Terry Pratchett, in Small Gods:His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools: the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans - and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, "You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink."
A selection of quotations from films with a common director. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were from films directed by Kathryn Bigelow:
- It just be raining black people in New York!
- Children, look. Great-Aunt Lavinia! She was beheaded by her own children!
- I once asked this literary agent, uh, what kind of writing paid the best... he said, "Ransom notes."
- That's it, no more Mr. Knife guy.
- - And I dreamed that when I met him that we would wait until our wedding night to give ourselves to one another, to make the ultimate sacrifice.
- A goat?
- The rush of battle is often a potent and lethal addiction, for war is a drug.
-- The Hurt Locker [2008]- Y'know what I love about this city? You can throw a stick up in the air and it'll land on a taxi or an ambulance.
-- Blue Steel [1990]- When a women kills, it's usually her spouse.
-- The Weight of Water [2000]- 100% he's there. OK, 95%, 'cause I know certainty freaks you guys out, but it's 100.
-- Zero Dark Thirty [2012]- You're about to jump out a perfectly good airplane, Johnny! How do you feel about that?
-- Point Break [1991]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
- Official advice for preventing the spread of the COVID-19 coronavirus is to keep your hands clean and not touch your mouth, but a cleric is the Iranian city of Qom has another idea. Ayatollah Tabrizian, a self-proclaimed expert in "Islamic medicine" told his 120,000+ followers on the Telegram social media app that they should comb their hair thoroughly, eat lots of apples, onions and brown sugar, burn wild rue, inhale snuff and, before going to bed, dip a cotton ball in violet oil and "apply onto your anus"... Tabrizian is basing his advice on a 12th-Century treatment for throat mucus. Qom, a city to which millions of Shia pilgrims journey every year, and which hosts a large number of foreign religious students at its seminary, has become one of the hotbeds of COVID-19 in Iran.
- When a former sessions musician took a 1960's prototype fretless guitar to the BBC's Antiques Roadshow programme, it attracted a lot of interest, partly because he played it on air, but also because of the guitar's story. His job had seen him recording for George Harrison's Handmade Films and during one session Harrison had asked him if he could play the fretless guitar that Harrison said John Lennon had passed on to him. Ray, the musician, gave it a go, and Harrison said "Yeah, you're definitely getting more out of it that I am. It's doing better for you, why don't you have it?" A photograph of Harrison with his guitar collection including the Bartell's fretless, added to its provenance, and expert Jon Baddeley valued it at £300,000-£400,000 ($385,000-$510,000).
- Last Sunday police in Blackpool pulled over a Vauxhall Astra car being driven around a car park only to discover that the driver was an 11-year-old child, and a family member accompanying him told officers that he had been let behind the wheel to try driving because his family were "fed up" with him playing Grand Theft Auto on his Playstation games console. In the U.K. the age at which people usually learn to drive is 17, but you can apply for a provisional license at the age of 15 years and 9 months. It is legal to drive on private land below that age, and some driving schools offer introductory lessons to children which do not involve driving in public, but allowing an 11-year-old to drive a car in a public car park is definitely illegal. Police stressed that while the family member had been charged with driving offences no action was taken against the child.
- Australia recently endured its worst bushfires on record, and things are not likely to improve in the future. The Australia Institute has analysed temperature records for the last 20 years and found that between 2014 and 2018 summers - defined as a period above a certain temperature, rather than just by calender dates - where about 50% longer than in the mid-20th century. The Institute's Richie Merzan told reporters that "Our findings are not a projection of what we may see in the future. Its happening right now." The report, like scientists, did not blamed the recent fires directly on climate change, but said that such conditions make them more likely. Australia has one of the highest per-capita CO2 emission rates with a pro-coal government facing increasing pressure over its climate policies. In the Northern Hemisphere the warmer winter has caused the first-known failure of Germany's ice wine yield, which relies on grapes freezing while still on the vine, but in all 13 regions of Germany where the wine is produced the winter was too warm to freeze the grapes. Ice wine accounts for a tiny but highly-profitable percentage of Germany's wine industry.
- The COVID-19 coronavirus is having a negative impact on the world, but there is one positive side effect. NASA's satellites have shown that nitrogen dioxide pollution levels over parts of China have dropped dramatically, due in large part to factories being shut down during the outbreak. The level of the gas, emitted by cars as well as factories, was first recorded falling over Wuhan city, where the outbreak began, before spreading over a larger area. Fei Liu at NASA's Goddard space Flight Center told reporters that the lunar new year festival often saw a decrease in pollution at this time of year, but this was the first time it had not bounced back. Also in China, authorities have banned the British-developed Plague Inc. mobile phone game, launched before the outbreak, in which players spread a virus around the world. Over in the U.S., meanwhile, a survey has found that 38% of beer drinkers will not drink the long-established Mexican Corona brand beer, because they think it is related to the virus...
- Irish drug dealer Clifton Collins, 49, thought he had the perfect way to hid the proceeds of his crime from the authorities - he used the money to buy bitcoins, the virtual currency only accessible for purchase or sale online. To trade from your bitcoin wallet you need a secure digital key, and Collins wrote his down on a sheet of A4 and hid the paper in the removable cap of a fishing rod. He was later arrested for cannabis-related offences and jailed, after which his landlord cleared most of his possessions from his house, sending them to a landfill site in County Galway. Workers at the site recalled seeing a load of fishing gear, but unfortunately for Collins most of the waste at the site is sent off to China or Germany to be incinerated. The Irish Criminal Assets Bureau is monitoring Collins' bitcoin wallets, which contain the equivalent of about €54m (£45m; $58m) but cannot access the money without the key - and neither can Collins...
- In the age of "fake news" and online election interference Twitter makes much of its 'blue tick' mark, shown alongide verified and reliable sources of information. Earlier this month it gave one to the account of Republican Andrew Walz, a "proven business leader" and "passionate advocate for students" who was running to represent Rhode Island in Congress. Walz does not exist. He was made up by a bored 17-year-old high school student from New York State. Twitter had initially said it would only verify candidates who had won primaries, then backtracked in the face of protest, but are still facing complaints from genuine candidates who have yet to have their account verified, and the company only removed the Walz account when CNN drew their attention to it.
- With the death of 112-year-old Chitetsu Watanabe, then the world's oldest living man, as reported in the last TFIr, the mantle has passed to a 111-year-old former teacher and engineer living in Hampshire, England. Bob Weighton was born on 29 March 1908. Weighton, who is awaiting verification from Guinness World Records, claimed that there is no secret to his longevity. "I have not lived my life avoiding being run over by buses or getting cancer or anything else. I've done nothing to deserve or achieve this age. I'm just one of the lucky ones."
- Comedian Joe Lycett is not a fan of German fashion chain Hugo Boss (and we are guessing it is mutual). The company has earned a reputation in recent years for sending cease-and-desist legal notices to small businesses and charities that use the word 'boss' in their names, regardless of whether their products or work can in any way be confused with the fashion business, causing them to spend "thousands in legal fees and rebranding" according to Lycett, who tweeted "it's clear that Hugo Boss hates people using their name," something the company, which often refers to itself as just "Boss" denied, in a tweet that sounded like its writer was clenching their teeth. Lycett has now officially changed his name by deed poll to Hugo Boss in protest at the company's behaviour.
- Dogs have cold noses, but why? A team of scientists from Sweden's Lund University and the Eotvos Lorand University in Hungary have, er, sniffed out the answer. Noting that a dogs rhinarium - the tip of the nose - is always cooler than air temperature when the air is above freezing the team speculated that it could serve a sensory function as a heat detector. They concealed two items heated to 12oC above room temperature and conducted double-blind experiments with dogs trained to find them, then used magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) on 13 dogs to see how their brains reacted to the presence of objects heated too low for human hands to detect without touching them, confirming that the dogs' cold noses acted as sensors for heat sources, such as small mammals, from around 5' (1.5m) away.
IN BRIEF: Farmer's cottage built in Easton Bevants, Suffolk, in 1925 demolished because coastal erosion had moved cliff face around 330' (100m) closer since 1998. ● Englishwoman Katie Godor wins 71st annual International Pancake Day race in Kansas. ● Student, 32, in court for dropping Greggs paper bag 11 years ago; letters had been sent to the wrong address, so judge reduced fine and original costs order out of respect for her honesty in showing up to court. ● Calls for organisers of climate change rally in Bristol last Friday to pay for damage caused by 15,000 protesters churning College Green grass into mud patch. ● Airman at Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson in Anchorage, Alaska, demoted and reprimanded for urinating in his squadron officer's coffee maker (and going A.W.O.L.). ● Northwest Kansas Police offering to test people's locally-purchased crystal meth drugs for coronavirus... no word on whether anybody
fell for ittook them up on their generous offer... ● Australian pet python (called Monty, of course) taken to vet after swallowing entire towel; towel succefully removed with forceps and endoscope. ● Britain's Royal Mint selling 18-carat gold handmade piggy bank for £100,000 ($128,240). ● Heaven Fitch becomes first girl to win North Carolina High School Wrestling State Championship (no girls' division, so she had to compete with the boys). ● Vatican to open archives of Pope Pius XII, scholars hope move will settle the question of his actions towards Nazi Germany and Jews during World War II.
Trump slammed for chaotic press conference about COVID-19 coronavirus where he contradicted his own health officials over the number and rate of Americans infected and appeared to put the (at best) scientifically illiterate / (at worst) science denier Vice President Mike Pence in charge of the administration's response shortly after Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar had said that he was in charge. When asked who specifically was in charge, Trump left the room; as late night host John Oliver noted, "I know we're used to only seeing businessman Trump, but it's nice to occasionally get a glimpse of the absentee father in him too." ● Economist Nouriel Roubini, who correctly predicted the 2008 recession forecasts that global equities will drop 30-40% this year as a result of COVID-19, losing Trump the election. ● The day after Trump hugged and kissed a U.S. flag at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference Donnie, Jr gave his pearl of wisdom for the week, tweeting to accuse Democrats of hoping "[COVID-19] comes here and wipes out millions of people so that they can end Donald Trump's streak of winning" ['one' is not a streak... -Ed]. TV host Seth Meyers commented "Jesus. Someone is desperately trying to get their father to love them. 'I'm doing this so my father will hug and kiss me like that goddamn flag.'" ● Unsurprisingly the official White House line appears to be (according to acting W.H. chief of staff Mick Mulvaney) that the media is stoking a coronavirus panic to bring down Trump. [Not a chaotic, dismal press conference that was supposed to calm the American people, and an incompetent administration then, oh no... -Ed] ● The New Yorker magazine summed up Trump's response to the virus threat the best, previewing a cover that showed him wearing a surgical mask... over his eyes.
Allan Lichtman, a professor of political history at American University in Washington, helped create a model that correctly predicted the winner of seven of the last eight U.S. presidential elections (it predicted Al Gore would defeat George W. Bush in what turned out to be a close, and contentious, election). He has now said that a Fox News poll showing Trump trailing each of the main Democrat contenders (Biden, Sanders, Bloomberg, Warren & Buttigieg*) is "terrible for Trump" [*The poll was carried out before Buttigieg and Bloomberg withdrew] ● Trump retweeted Fox video of Bernie Sanders' gaffes, gets reminded of his (many, many) own by Twitterati. ● Country music star Garth Brooks draws ire, boos, of Trump supporters by wearing shirt carrying "SANDERS 20" logo; has to point out on stage that it was in honour of Detroit Lions American football great Barry Sanders, with whom Brooks went to school. ● Watergate prosecutor Jill Wine-Banks warns that "I really fear for democracy and if [Trump] is reelected, I lose all hope for democracy, and I'm not being overly dramatic. I really, truly do. Everything that he has done has been so, I mean, the gender and racial bias is horrible. The rule of law is horrible. I'm not talking about the policies. I'm not talking about whether he's right or wrong on taxes. I'm talking about what he has done to unleash hatred in this country and to make us not a democracy anymore."
As, well frankly, anyone could have predicted, the Taliban are to resume attacks against Afghanistan government forces days after signed the "peace" deal with the U.S. They also warned that further talks would not take place unless the 5,000 Taliban prisoners held by the government were released as promised by the Americans. The Afghan government replied that they had made no commitment to the Americans or the Taliban to releasing the prisoners. ● In an interview with the Kremlin-funded news agency Tass to mark the 20th anniversary of his first election as President of Russia, Vladimir Putin told interviewer Andrei Vandenko that Trump had told him that the U.S. military budget of $738bn (£575.5bn) was too high, and suggested that Trump advocated disarmament. [No wonder Trump wanted their conversation kept secret... -Ed]
TV host Jimmy Kimmel compares Trump to his 5-year-old daughter, from spelling and eating habits to their tantrums and small hands. ● White House reportedly hires 23-year-old college student to help vet appointees and overseas paperwork as director of operations in the Presidential Personnel Office. ● Watchdog group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington study lists over 3,000 conflicts of interest between Trump's business interests and his presidency, approximately 2.5 per day since becoming President, concludes "President Trump's time in office has been an ethical disaster [..] blatantly and regularly using his office for his own financial gains."
Performance artist Ulay (collaborations with Marina Abramović, 76), businessman Jack Welch (General Electric, 84), businessman Joe Coulombe (founder of Trader Joe's, 89), actor, presenter and writer James Lipton (Arrested Development, Inside the Actors Studio, Return to Peyton Place, 93), physicist Freeman Dyson (Dyson spheres, maximum diversity, eternal intelligence, 96).
^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:8, 9, 11, 25, 45, 48[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.
Little Jennifer and her friend Little Mary were talking about their grandmothers. "One of my grannies just had her 50th birthday," Little Mary said, "How old are yours?"
Little Jennifer thought for a moment. "I don't know," she said, "but they must be pretty old. I've had them for as long as I can remember!"
^ ...end of line