^{^} ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 3rd July		-		William the Conqueror became Duke of Normandy, 1035. Composer Jacobus Gallus born, 1550. Samuel de Champlain founded Quebec City, 1608. French queen consort and regent Maria de' Medici died, 1642. Actress Susan Penhaligon born, 1949. Journalist, UFOlogist and writer John Keel died, 2009.
Saturday 4th July		-		Chinese, Arab and possibly Amerindian observers witnessed the explosion of supernova SN 1054, now the Crab Nebula, 1054. Composer William Byrd died, 1623. Geographer and surveyor George Everest born, 1790. The world's first long-distance railway, the Grand Junction Railway between Liverpool and Birmingham, opened, 1837. Actress Eva Marie Saint born, 1924. Singer Bernie Nolan died, 2013. Independence Day in the United States.
Sunday 5th July		-		Mary Walcott, one of the "afflicted" girls to give evidence at the Salem witch trials, born, 1675. Isaac Newton's Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica was published, 1687. Showman P.T. Barnum born, 1810. Inventor Nicéphore Niépce, creator of the first known photograph, died, 1833 The bikini went on sale following its debut at a Paris fashion show, 1946. Actress Katy Jurado died, 2002.
Monday 6th July		-		Politician and lawyer Sir Thomas More was executed for treason, 1535. England and Scotland signed the Treaty of Edinburgh, 1560. Stamford Raffles, founder of Singapore, born, 1781. Louis Pasteur succesfully tested his vaccine against rabies, 1885. Artist Frida Kahlo born, 1907. Socialite and fashion icon Babe Paley died, 1978. Tynwald Day on the Isle of Man.
Tuesday 7th July		-		King Edward I of England died, 1307. Joan of Arc was acquitted of heresy 25 years after her death, 1456. Joseph Marie Jacquard, inventor of the eponymous punched card-controlled loom, born, 1752. The Chillicothe Baking Company in Missouri began selling the first sliced bread, 1928. Singer-songwriter Vonda Shepherd born, 1949. Actress Veronica Lake died, 1973. World Chocolate Day.
Wednesday 8th July		-		Vasco da Gama set sail on the first direct voyage from Europe to India, 1497. Artist Artemisia Gentileschi born, 1593. Astronomer Christiaan Huygens died, 1695. Writer and activist Marianne Williamson born, 1952. Space Shuttle Atlantis launched on STS-135, the final mission of the Space Shuttle program, 2011. Betty Ford, 38th First Lady of the United States, died, 2011.
Thursday 9th July		-		The foundation stone of the Charles Bridge in Prague was laid, 1357. Artist Jan van Eyck died, 1441. Inventor Elias Howe, creator of the sewing machine, born, 1819. The inaugural Wimbledon Championships began, 1877. Graphic artist and computer scientist Janice Lourie born, 1930. Suffragist and activist Alice Paul died, 1977.

^{^} THE WISDOM OF...

This week, Garrison Keillor:

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - there's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.

^{^} FILM QUIZ

A selection of quotations from films by the same director. Answers next issue or from the regular address.

• Having a luck dragon with you is the only way to go on a quest.
• The Flemish Cap? Went there once... in '62. Lots of fish... and lots of weather...
• Mildew is good for you. It's the next best thing to fresh lettuce. Be thankful for what grows down here.
• George, you've heard about this virus?... Shall I cough on you, George?
• At night I see their faces. All the men I've killed. They're standing there on the far bank of the river Styx. They're waiting for me. They say, "Welcome, brother."

Last issue's quotations were from films directed by Russell Mulcahy:

• For you, my bonny Heather: Happy birthday. And you, Juan Ramirez: Take care of her, you overdressed haggis.
      -- Highlander [1986]
• - Are you in pain?
  - Ahhhh! Pain? Pain! You wanna talk about pain? WALKING away from $18 million dollars, now that's pain.
      -- The Real McCoy [1993]
• I knew your sister. She was a homicidal bitch.
      -- Resident Evil: Extinction [2007]
• The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
      -- The Shadow [1994]
• Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. If you don't take it out and use it, it's going to rust.
      -- Highlander II: The Quickening [1991]

^{^} WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

• British Airways made the next last week after it emerged that the airline was using the cover of the pandemic to sack staff then rehire them on different contracts. Pakistan has also been suspending pilots, although for a different reason. Of the 860 active pilots in the country the aviation minister announced last week that nearly a third were not qualified to fly, having paid someone else to sit the required exam for them. The revelation came out of a preliminary report into a Pakistan International Airlines (PIA) flight that crashed after taking off from Lahore on May 22, but PIA spokesman Abdullah Khan was keen to stress that "PIA acknowledges that fake licenses is not just a PIA issue but spread across the entire Pakistani airline industry."


• Archaeologists in Norway have begun excavating the first Viking ship discovered there in more than a century. The 85'- (20m)-long ship, discovered in a burial site in Gjellestad two years ago using ground-penetrating radar is thought to be in poor condition but is only the fourth Viking ship burial to be found in Norway. The site also has a significant number of burial mounds and longhouses.


• Earlier this week Joseph DeAngelo, 74, pleaded guilty to the 13 murders attributed to the Golden State Killer in California in the 1970s and 1980s as part of a plea deal to avoid the death penalty. DNA pulled from stored items of evidence and genetic information stored on the GEDmatch family history site allowed investigators to build several family trees, with one that had around 1,000 people on it leading to two suspects, the first of whom was eliminated, leaving DeAngelo. A swab of DNA was taken from his car door and another from a tissue in his rubbish, and they matched the evidential sample.


• In 2017 a 2,240 square mile (5,800 km²) iceberg broke off the Larsen C ice shelf in Antarctica. Another iceberg is set to break off the Larsen D ice shelf, south of the Larsen C. The new berg is significantly smaller, just 193 square miles (500 km²) in size, about the same as Chicago, but is expected to take a sizable quantity of fast ice - ice attached to the ocean bottom - with it. Research published last year suggests that the remaining Larsen C ice shelf is at risk of total collapse, as happened to the Larsen A and Larsen B shelves.


• An unpublished and unfinished 1849 work by Louisa M. Alcott, author of Little Women is to be published for the first time. The 44-page 9,000-word story Aunt Nellie's Diary is written in journal form and based around a single woman responsible for looking after her teenage niece. The manuscript is held at Harvard University's Houghton Library as part of a collection of Alcott's papers. The Strand magazine, which is to publish it, is looking for writers to complete the work.


• Louisiana resident Kevin Wise, 26, was arrested after jumping fully-clothed into a sporting goods store's fish tank for a social media prank. He had promised to do the stunt if a TikTok video of his got 2,000 likes. Wise was arrested after Bass Pro Shops lodged a complaint with the police, and charged with simple criminal damage to property, after the shop had to empty the 13,000 US gallon (25,000 imperial gallon; 113,562 litre) tank and clean it. After his arrest Wise told reporters that he planned to keep making TikTok videos but warned others about doing "spur of the moment" pranks.


• When vegetarian Sam Darlaston, a host on Kiss FM UK, bought some broccolli from Tesco he discovered that it had come with live caterpillars. Rather than just angrily complaining to the supermarket he put all but one of them in his garden and kept the remaining one as a pet. "I did my research [..] and discovered the exact type of caterpillar/butterfly we were dealing with [..] then decided to build him a little home in my lounge with all the broccolli he wanted." A replacement pack of broccolli bought with the refunded cost contained another five caterpillars, and Darlaston's housemate bought some more, which had another one. The caterpillars were named Cedric, Broc, Olly, Carlos, Croc, Janine and Slim Eric, and were released after they pupated and emerged as cabbage white butterflies.


• The Reuters news agency has had to issue an apology after a report on Sumit Gupta, an Indian hacker indicted by the U.S. for allegedly hacking over 10,000 email accounts worldwide, mistakenly featured the photograph of herbal medicine seller Arvind Kumar. The mistake came about because Kumar's business shares its address with BellTroX InfoTech Services, a mercenary hacking firm linked to Gupta. The mistake only came to light when Indian online news service ThePrint visited the address to follow up on the story and tried to interview the man in the photograph, thinking he was the hacker. Despite Reuters' apology and retraction of the photograph Google searches still linked Kumar's photograph to the story.


• Astronomers researching how giant stars die studied a star in the Kinman Dwarf Galaxy some 75 million light years away between 2001 and 2011 and determined it to be at a late stage of its life, but when they searched for it last year for a new research project it had disappeared. There were two possibilities - either it had become obscured by dust after losing its brightness, or, more interestingly, it might have collapsed to form a black hole. In either case the star's death rewrites the book on how massive stars die as it did not explode to form a supernova.


• Elan Valley Sally, a 19-month-old border collie from Brecon has become the world's most expensive sheepdog after selling for £19,451 ($24,086) at the Farmers' Mart online sale at Dolgellau, Wales. The previous record holder was two-and-a-half-year-old Megan, sold in Yorkshire for £18,900 ($23,403) to an Oklahoma ranch owner in February. Sally was sold to an anonymous buyer in England.

IN BRIEF: Workers at a Little Caesar's pizza restaurant in Brook Park, Ohio, were fired this week after a customer found that pepperoni slices on their pizza had been arranged to form a swastika. ● A claim by Harrisburg University that its facial recognition software can be used to predict criminality has been criticised over claims of racial bias. ● A Florida woman has filed a lawsuit for DNA analysis of five dwarf goats she bought from a neighbour because she thinks they might be pedigree. ● A number of American Christian groups are in uproar over plans for Paris Jackson to portray Jesus as a lesbian woman (in a fantasy sequence) in an upcoming film. ● The president and CEO of the Museum for Human Rights in Winnipeg, Canada, has resigned after allegations of racism, harassment and LGBT censorship in the institution came to light. ● Two men robbed a convenience store in Louisa, Virginia, last month, wearing hollowed-out watermelons (with eye holes) on their heads. ● Also last month 6'9"- (2.05m)-tall Hafthor Bjornsson, better known to Game of Thrones fans as Ser Gregor "The Mountain" Clegane, broke the world deadlifting record by lifting 1,104lbs (501kg).

UPDATE: The mysterious dimming of the star Betelgeuse has been attributed to gigantic cool areas on its surface, similar to sunspots. We should also point out that should it be seen to go supernova, the explosion would actually have been 500 years ago, as that is how long light from the star takes to reach Earth.

^ TRUMPWATCH

Livestreaming social media platform Twitch has suspended Trump's account for violating its rules on "hateful content" after a rebroadcast of Trump's campaign kickoff speech from 2015 in which he suggested that Mexican immigrants were criminals and rapists, and a clip from his June 20^th speech in Tulsa when he spoke of a "very tough hombre" breaking into the home of a "young woman whose husband is away". Twitch has joined Twitter, which has begun flagging Trump's rule-violating tweets with warnings and Reddit, which shut down a pro-Trump subreddit forum. Facebook is being abandoned by more and more big advertisers over its refusal to fact check or block Trump's posts and ads; in 2019 the Trump campaign spent nearly $20m (£16.5m) on more than 218,000 different Facebook ads.

The Lincoln Project have aired an ad starting with a Jurassic Park-like logo captioned 'Disheveled' and the heroic theme music over footage of a confidant Trump walking to Marine Two on the White House lawn before it flew him to Tulsa, then cut to footage of his downbeat return from the poorly-attended rally to the sound of the same theme played badly on what sounded to us like a Melodica. It has been reported that dozens of Secret Service (or as Trump refers to them, 'SS') officers and agents who were on duty at the Tulsa rally have had to self-quarantine after two of them tested positive for the coronavirus. ● The poor attendance in Tulsa was claimed as a victory by TikTok users, who booked seats en mass with no intention of attending. They have now turned their attention to the Trump campaign online merchandise store, filling carts with millions of dollars' worth of merchandise but not checking out, a practice known as shopping cart abandonment which disrupts online retailers' data accuracy and causes items to be flagged as 'sold out' despite there being plenty of stock. The campaign shop eventually restricted buyers to no more than three of any item, after the damage was already done. One TikTok user and Trump critic is Kellyanne Conway's daughter Claudia (must take after her father) who has urged her followers to leave one-star reviews of all Trump-branded hotels, golf courses and resorts.

Trump tweeted to complain that Princeton has dropped Woodrow Wilson's name from their policy centre and that the "Democrats want to take off the name John Wayne from an airport" following the surge of anti-racist protests across across America as a result of the police murder of George Floyd. You do not need to do much work to see why people want Wayne's name removed. In a 1971 interview with Playboy he said "I believe in white supremacy until the blacks are educated to the point of responsibility." ● When Mike Pence attended the First Baptist megachurch in Dallas on Sunday Black Lives Matter and LGBT rights protesters stood peacefully behind police barricades - waving doughnuts on strings at the police officers on duty. Pence's planned later appearances were called off because of the cornavirus surge in Texas. ● Trump's whackadoodle personal lawyer Rudi Giuliani ranted to Fox News' Laura Ingraham [of course...] that "It should be quite plain to every American who can see through the propaganda that Antifa, Black Lives Matter, the Communists, and their allies are executing a plan they wrote about four or five years ago. They [..] wanna do away with the police, they wanna empty out the prisons, they want to internationalise our government, they wanna do away with our system of courts, and they want to take your property away and give it to other people." Presumably, if such a conspiracy existed, they would let Rudi keep his tinfoil hat though, and might even give him a new room, with nicely-padded walls...

Several states, including Florida, Arizona, Texas and California, have reversed their reopening schedule as a second, posibly larger, spike in COVID-19 cases has emerged, causing some hospitals in Houston and Maricopa County, Arizona, to report running at 100% capacity, but remember that "as we stand here today, all 50 states and territories across the country are opening up, and safely and responsibly" according to Mike Pence. Kayleign McEnany's "embers" are becoming infernos. ● Last Thurday the U.S. hit a record daily high of 40,000 new infections, with Dr Anthony Fauci later telling a Senate committee that sixteen states were showing a spike in cases, and the Centers for Disease Control suggesting that the true number of cases, including those that are asymptomatic but still infectious, could already be 20 million; the confirmed infections are currently 2.4m with over 122,000 deaths. ● Trump's lack of action against the pandemic is surprising given that, according to the White House Council of Economic Advisors chairman Tomas J Philipson, the hardest-hit group is non-college-educated low-wage-earners, a significant number of whom make up the bulk of Trump's supporter base. ● At the start of his term in the White House Trump instigated travel bans against several mostly-Islamic countries he deemed terrorist-prone. Now, with the coronavirus rampant across America, the European Union is considering a travel ban of its own, against America for health reasons. ● In the middle of a rampant pandemic, a leader should do all he can to ensure that the population has access to health provision. So what has Trump done recently? He has asked the Supreme Court to invalidate the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare). ● One glimmer of hope for COVID-19 sufferers is the drug remdesivir, developed to counter Ebola (it failed) but since found to hasten recovery from COVID-19. Except that Trump's administration has bought up 90% of the global supply for the next three months. Fortunately for the rest of the world (those that have not already stocked up) 127 low- and middle-income countries are licenced to produce their own remdesivir, which richer countries could purchase through compulsory licensing, and there is a potentially better - and, true to Trump's grasp of economics - cheaper alternative called dexamethasone which has shown encouraging results in tests in Britain. ● It has emerged that the U.S. government sent more than $1.4bn (£1.1bn) of its much-vaunted pandemic rescue funds to dead people after the Treasury Department failed to check death records despite warnings. ● David Frum, a former speechwriter for President George W. Bush, wrote in The Atlantic (where he is a senior editor) that "The first coronavirus spike, in late April, can be blamed on President Donald Trump's negligence. The second spike, in June, is his own doing. This is Trump's plague now." ● Hilary Clinton repurposed Trump's first campaign slogan, tweeting a graph showing declining infection rates in Europe, Canada and Japan against the massive increase in American cases, captioned "Great again." ● Trump, meanwhile, used his visit to his vanity border wall in Arizona to claim that "[The wall] stopped Covid. It stopped everything." The new sections of wall [viz. Corrections, below] are not solid. They consist of narrow metal pillars a few inches apart, which air - and, as previously reported, anyone with access to DIY metalgrinders - can easily get through. Did we mention that Arizona is one of the worst-affected states in the COVID-19 resurgence? ● Trump frequently calls COVID-19 "kung flu", an offensive term to Asian Americans. Many on Twitter have taken to referring to it as the 'Trump Virus' or 'Trump Flu'.

As polls, even those conducted for Fox News which show him trailing Biden in traditionally red states, continue to show Trump trailing Joe Biden, he tweeted "I am getting VERY GOOD internal Polling Numbers." A poll of Republican voters by the Pew Research Center showed just 19% were satisfied with the way things are going in America, a drop from 55% in April. Presumably Trump's "internal" polls were conducted inside his head. ● The Republican Voters Against Trump group have aired an attack ad about the pandemic with the tagline #TrumpGaveUp. ● Trump has ordered an additional 4,000 troops deployed on the U.S.-Mexico border despite a fall in illegal immigrants (Mexico has a lower COVID-19 infection rate, for one thing) in what is seen as a blatant misuse of the military for purely electioneering purposes to make himself look tougher on immigration. ● The Rolling Stones have issued an official warning via the performing rights organisation the BMI, to the Trump campaign that it will face legal action if it continues to use The Stones' music at campaign events after cease and desist letters were ignored. ● The Lincoln Project have aired an ad comparing Trump to former Presidents, starting with Reagan's use of the poem High Flight in the wake of the Challenger disaster, Bill Clinton's speech following the Oklahoma City Bombing, George W. Bush's megaphone address at Ground Zero and Obama spontaneously singing Amazing Grace at the funeral of nine Black churchgoers murdered by a White supremacist in Charleston, then turning to Trump's response to the police murder of George Floyd and other Black Americans: "I am dispatching thousands and thousands of heavily armed soldiers... We dominate the streets" before ending with Joe Biden, "I won't traffic in fear and division. I won't fan the flames of hate... It's time to pick up our heads and remember who we are." ● After Ivanka Trump released a video claiming that her father hires people based on skill and competence, the hashtag #ByeIvanka trended on Twitter with her video spliced with Trump's hiring of unqualified family members and cronies. ● Controversial British TV host Piers Morgan has revealed that months after Trump unfollowed him on Twitter for criticising the U.S. president's response to the COVID-19 crisis, he is being flooded with emails from Trump and his campaign team begging for support. Morgan commented "These automated emails to his 'supposed' supporters has been a literal bombardment over the last week. It shows me that they're panicking, they must be panicking [as] I've never had it before. So there's a real battle now. [..] there's a general sense in America [that] they can't cope with four more years of Trump. [..] And of course, all the reasons he was doing well in all of the polls in January have disintegrated. The economy's disintegrated, the public health crisis is exploding." ● Trump's anger at people pulling down statues of historic racists reached a peak when they tried (but failed) to topple the statue in Lafayette Park, opposite the White House. According to a former White House staffer, Trump thought the statue was of Revolutionary War hero Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette, after whom the park was named. In fact it is of Andrew Jackson, the 7^th U.S. President and a highly-controversial figure who is also one of Trump's heroes. ● Trump's continued use of the rhetoric of hate throughout his term in office, ramped up even further since the George Floyd murder and Black Lives Matter resurgence has left many commentators speculating that he is not running for the Presidency of the United States, he is running for the Presidency of the Confederation.

In response to New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo and Connecticut Governor Ned Lamont issuing orders that anyone entering their states who has been in high-risk areas must self-quarantine for two weeks, the White House issued a statement confirming that Trump planned a campaign visit to New Jersey and claiming that "The president of the United States is not a civilian... Anyone who is in close proximity to him, including staff, guests, and press are tested for COVID-19 and confirmed to be negative." As was quickly pointed out by many people, Trump portrays himself as an everyman and champion of the proverbial working man, and oversees the U.S. military, with civilian control of the military a key element of the U.S. government system. In the event Trump cancelled his visit to New Jersey, claiming that "[I] wanted to stay in Washington, D.C. to make sure LAW & ORDER is enforced." As was promply pointed out, the weather forecast for Bedminster, where Trump was due to visit, was for scattered thunderstorms all weekend. Coincidentally, Trump owns a golf course in Bedminster... ● Trump also faced controversy this week after retweeting footage of his supporters taking part in a Florida pro-Trump rally, where one of them shouted "white power" at a counter-protester, with Trump Trump tweeting his thanks for their support. The tweet was later taken down after widespread protest, and a Trump spokesman claimed that "He did not hear the one state statement made on the video." Very few people believed such a poor excuse [although it was more than 10 seconds into the video, and the Adderall-addled and possible prefrontal-dementure-suffering Trump has very poor concentration skills...]

The other big controversy of the week was a return to old ground: Trump and Russia, after it emerged that Trump had been briefed that Russia was offering financial incentives to militants in Afghanistan to kill American and British troops last year, before Trump tried to get Russia back into the G8. Trump denied having been briefed, then it was revealed that he had been given a written briefing, which he either failed to read or ignored. If his claim of not having been briefed is accepted it implies that U.S. Intelligence does not trust him (given he previous statements against them and ignoring other briefings). All three options are damning for him. Of course, Press Secretary Kayleigh "I will never lie to [the press]. You have my word on that" McEnanary told the press that "The President does read, and he also consumes intelligence verbally. This President, I'll tell you, is the most informed person on planet Earth when it comes to the threats that we face...He's constantly being informed and briefed on intelligence matters" to much online derision. ● The only thing more predictable than Kayleigh McEnarny lying to the press is an old tweet of Trump's coming back to bite him. On September 30^th 2014 Trump tweeted "Fact--Obama does not read his intelligence briefings nor does he get briefed in person by the CIA or DOD. Too busy I guess!" Where was Trump when the daily coronavirus cases hit a new high and the news of Russia putting bounties on American soldiers' lives broke? On a golf course...

In a televised town hall with Sean Hannity on Fox News Trump claimed that "a friend of mine said 'you have to be the most perfect person.' Isn't that true?". Presumably this is the friend who lives in the mirror... Hannity had the questions turned on himself when he interviewed billionnaire investor Mark Cuban, who asked him "You and every Fox News interviewer give him [Trump] the easiest questions and he can't answer them? Why is that, Sean?" As with Trump, answer came there none. ● The Lincoln Project asked its Twitter followers to name one thing Trump actually could run successfully. Answers included "a fever" (@SantaInc), "the license plate stamping machine at the federal penitentiary" (@vardmin) and "errands for Putin" (@StarsInsideEdge). ● Iran has asked Interpol to issue a Red Notice (arrest warrant) against Trump and 35 other people over the drone killing of Qasem Soleimani, commander of the Islamic Revolution Guard Corps in January. It is unlikely that Interpol will comply, as its rules forbid political, military, religious or racial interventions or activities, but Tehran attorney general Ali Alqasi Mehr has insisted that Trump will be prosecuted as soon as he is out of office. ● The Supreme Court is due to give its ruling on whether Trump's tax records should be handed over. Three district courts and three courts of appeals panels have already ruled that they should, and as has been shown recently, the Supreme Court can and will rule against Trump's wishes. ● Trump tried to give himself a new nickname on Twitter, "THE LONE WARRIOR!", and was promptly, and repeated, told that the lone warrior was actually in Afghanistan, with a Russian price on his head.

CORRECTION: In the last issue we reported that Trump was to visit Yuma, Arizona, to mark the completion of his vanity border wall's 200^th mile. Only three miles of that figure is actually new wall (or more accurately, fencing), the rest is replacement of already-existing structure.

^{^} OBITUARIES

Animator and director Kelly Asbury (Gnomeo & Juliet, Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, Shrek 2, 60), actor and Performers Against Racism founder Louis Mahoney (Cry Freedom, Doctor Who, Fawlty Towers, 81), actress Linda Cristel (The High Chaparral, Mr Majestyk, The Perfect Furlough, 89), graphic designer Milton Glaser (I ♥ NY, the World Health Organization's AIDS symbol and poster, New York magazine co-founder, 91), comic book artist Joe Sinnott (Fantastic Four, Amazing Spider-Man, The Avengers, 93), composer Johnny Mandel ("The Shadow of Your Smile", "Suicide is Painless" - the theme from M*A*S*H, "Close Enough for Love", 94), actor, producer and director Carl Reiner (The Jerk, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Toy Story 4, 98).

^{^} DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:

6, 21, 48, 50, 57, 59

[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.

^{^} AND FINALLY...

    Little Jennifer's parents had taken their daughter and her grandmother on holiday. The flight had passed without Little Jennifer causing any problems, her father had hired a car and was driving them to their hotel when all of a sudden the horn beeped. "Sorry," he said, "that was an accident, it's in a different place in this car."
    Little Jennifer's mother, sitting in the passenger seat, just smiled calmly. After all, the flight had passed without incident. Then a small voice piped up from the back seat, "That's OK, Daddy, we know it was an accident. You didn't say 'Get out of the way, you bastard!'"

---

^{^} ...end of line