The Friday Irregular

Issue #667 - 3rd June 2022


Edited by and copyright ©2022 Simon Lamont
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tfir@simonlamont.co.uk

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Unless otherwise indicated dollar values are in US dollars. Currency conversions are at current rates at time of writing and may be rounded.
The Friday Irregular uses Common Era year notation.

CONTENTS



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^ WORD OF THE WEEK

sidonglobophobia
  n. the fear of cotton balls (both touching them and hearing them torn apart)

^ ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 3rd June   -   Usurper Nepotianus proclaimed himself Roman emperor, 350. Artist Pietro Paolini born, 1603. Physician William Harvey died, 1657. The last great auks were killed, 1844. Explorer Mary Kingsley died, 1900. Singer-songwriter Suzi Quatro born, 1950. World Bicycle Day (UN).
 
Saturday 4th June   -   Benjamin Huntsman, inventor of the cast steel process, born, 1704. George Vancouver claimed Puget Sound for Great Britain, 1792. Adventurer and librarian Giacomo Casanova died, 1798. Soprano Cecilia Bartoli born, 1966. Actress Dorothy Gish died, 1968. JVC introduced the VHS videotape format at the Consumer Electronics Show in Chicago, 1977. Tiananmen Square Protests of 1989 Memorial Day (International)
 
Sunday 5th June   -   Composer Orlando Gibbons died, 1625. Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough, born, 1660. The Frontenac, the first Great Lakes steamer, was launched, 1817. The trial of Lizzie Borden for the murder of her father and step-mother began, 1893. Writer Ken Follett born, 1949. Singer-songwriter and bass player Dee Dee Ramone died, 2002. World Environment Day.
 
Monday 6th June   -   Regent Gustav Vasa was elected King of Sweden, 1523. Philosopher Jeremy Bentham died, 1832. Explorer Robert Falcon Scott born, 1868. All of downtown Seattle was destroyed in the Great Seattle Fire, 1889. Folk singer Holly Near born, 1949. Swimmer and actress Esther Williams died, 2013.
 
Tuesday 7th June   -   The Siege of Jerusalem by the First Crusade began, 1099. Anne of Bohemia, Queen of King Richard II of England, died, 1394. Condottiero Federico da Montefeltro born, 1422. King Charles I of England, Scotland and Ireland granted Royal Assent to the Petition of Right, 1628. Poet Gwendolyn Brooks born, 1917. Computer scientist and mathematician Alan Turing committed suicide, 1954.
 
Wednesday 8th June   -   Attila the Hun's army invaded Italy, 452. Beatrice Portinari, widely accepted as the unrequited love and inspiration of Dante Alighieri, died, 1290. Artist John Everett Millais born, 1829. Universal Pictures was incorporated, 1912. Tennis player Kim Clijsters born, 1983. Omar Bongo, President of Gabon, died, 2009. World Oceans Day. World Brain Tumour Day.
 
Thursday 9th June   -   The Dutch fleet began the Raid on the Medway in the Second Anglo-Dutch War, 1667. Russian emperor Peter the Great born, 1672. Photographer and botanist Anna Atkins, died, 1871. Charles Kingsford Smith completed the first trans-Pacific flight in Southern Cross, a Fokker Trimotor monoplane, 1928. Actress Natalie Portman born, 1981. Actor and comedian Rik Mayall died, 2014. Coral Triangle Day.


^ THE WISDOM OF...

This week, Suzi Quatro, interviewed in the Detroit Metro Times:
Before I did what I did, we didn't have a place in rock 'n' roll. Not really. You had your Grace Slicks and all that, but that's not what I did. I was the first to be taken seriously as a female rock 'n' roll musician and singer. That hadn't been done before. I played the boys at their own game. For everybody that came afterward, it was a little bit easier, which is good. I'm proud of that. If I have a legacy, that's what it is. It's nothing I take lightly. It was gonna happen sooner or later. In 2014, I will have done my job 50 years. It was gonna be done by somebody, and I think it fell to me to do because I don't look at gender. I never have. It doesn't occur to me if a 6-foot-tall guy has pissed me off not to square up to him. That's just the way I am. If I wanted to play a bass solo, it never occurred to me that I couldn't. When I saw Elvis for the first time when I was 5, I decided I wanted to be him, and it didn't occur to me that he was a guy. That's why it had to fall to somebody like me.


^ FILM QUIZ

A selection of quotations from films released in the same year. Answers next issue or from the regular address. Last issue's quotations were from films released in 1993:


^ WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

IN BRIEF: Travel agency Ancient Mystery Cuise is offering travellers a cruise through the Bermuda Triangle, with a promised full refund if the ship disappears... [Who would they refund if the paying passengers disappear with the ship? -Ed] ● The Boomtown Rats are changing their name to the Boomtown Longtails for one night to play a gig on the Isle of Man during the TT Festival, to honour centuries-old Manx folklore that saying the name of the rodent species is bad luck. ● Language officials in France have created new French terms to replace English gaming language, including "rétrojeu" (retro gaming), "contenu téléchargeable additionel" (additional downloadable content) and "joueur/joueuse professionel/professionelle" (E-sports professional gamers). ● A Reddit user has amused the Internet after posting a picture of a Del Taco fast food chain voucher his cousin was given in a branch a few years ago. The voucher is for a free medium drink with the purchase of any epic burrito, subject to the usual T&Cs, but what drew interest was its expiry date. It "Expires 1/6/2106". ● A man whose hands became permanently clenched as a result of the autoimmune disease scleroderma has successfully had a double hand transplant. While not the first person to undergo the procedure his is thought to be the first in the world to have it because of scleroderma. ● The Rhode Island farmhouse that was the inspiration for the 2013 horror film The Conjuring has been sold at auction for $1.525m (£1.21m); the new owners plan to host paranormal events and tours. ● Engineers at Northwestern University in Illinois have created the world's smallest remote-controlled walking robots, each about 0.5mm (1/50") wide.

CORONAVIRUS ROUND-UP: Lockdown measures led to many education classes and exams moving online, but Shanghai University is being widely mocked for responding to the current city lockdown by declaring that students who have yet to complete their mandatory 50m (164') swimming test before graduating can do it online. Students asked if they could do it in their baths, and one posted a video of himself in trunks and goggles diving onto his bed and pretending to swim. The university is actually requiring them to complete a "Basic Theory of Swimming" test form, but quite how that can be anything like an actual lap in a pool remains to be seen.

UKRAINE: A shop in Kyiv is selling stress toys designed to look like Vladimir Putin. Each mini-Putin comes with a coffin, a noose and Ukraine-flag-bearing pins to stick in it. ● Kalush Orchestra, Ukrainian winners of this year's Eurovision Song Contest, have auctioned their trophy for €838,000 (£712,000; $900,000) for medical supplies and the purchase of three Ukrainian-made PD-2 drones for the country's military.


^ OBITUARIES

Musician and restauranteur Andy Fletcher (Depeche Mode, Toast Hawaii music label, Gascogne restaurant, 60), actor Ray Liotta (Goodfellas, Cop Land, Field of Dreams, 67), drummer Alan White (The Plastic Ono Band, John Lennon, Yes, 72), actress Patricia Brake (Porridge, Coronation Street, Eldorado, 79), actor Bo Hopkins (American Graffiti, Midnight Express, The Wild Bunch, 80), actor Charles Siebert (Trapper John, M.D., The American Conservatory Theatre, The Incredible Hulk, 84), jockey Lester Piggott (nine-time Epsom Derby winner, 116 Royal Ascot wins, won the Breeders' Cup Mile at the age of 54, 86).


^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:
24, 31, 32, 38, 41, 46
[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.


^ AND FINALLY...

    Little Jennifer's parents had taken her to a family gathering. Her mother's aunt, who had never taken to Little Jennifer's father came up to them and asked her niece if her husband still treated her with respect. Little Jennifer looked up at the severe face and declared "Daddy always treats Mummy like a queen!"
    Bursting with pride and wanting to show how clever his daughter was, Little Jennifer's father asked her, "And if I treat Mummy like a queen, what does that make me, Little Jennifer?"
    Without hesitating Little Jennifer smiled as only she could. "A servant!"


^ ...end of line