The Friday Irregular

Issue #680 - 2nd September 2022


Edited by and copyright ©2022 Simon Lamont
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tfir@simonlamont.co.uk

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Unless otherwise indicated dollar values are in US dollars. Currency conversions are at current rates at time of writing and may be rounded.
The Friday Irregular uses Common Era year notation.

CONTENTS



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^ WORD OF THE WEEK

pinna
  n. the visible part of the ear external to the head

^ ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 2nd September   -   The Great Fire of London broke out at a bakery in Pudding Lane, 1666. Marie Joséphine of Savoy born, 1753. Engineer Thomas Telford died, 1834. The Japanese Instrument of Surrender was signed aboard the USS Missouri in Tokyo Bay, 1945. Actor Keanu Reeves born, 1964. Health activist, influencer and author Claire Wineland died, 2018.
 
Saturday 3rd September   -   San Marino, the oldest extant republic, was founded, 301. Composer Adriano Banchieri born, 1568. Oliver Cromwell, general and Lord Protector died, 1658. The American Revolutionary War ended with the signing of the Treaty of Paris, 1783. Actress Pauline Collins born, 1940. Charity fundraising runner Jane Tomlinson died, 2007. Merchant Navy Day in the UK.
 
Sunday 4th September   -   Cartographer John Ogilby, publisher of the first British road atlas, died, 1676. Los Angeles was founded by Spanish settlers, 1781. Actress Jennie Lee born, 1848. Mark Spitz became the first person to win seven medals in a single Olympic Games, 1972. DJ, producer and songwriter Mark Ronson born, 1975. Bletchley Park code-breaker Joan Clarke died, 1996.
 
Monday 5th September   -   Catherine Parr, sixth wife of King Henry VIII of England, died, 1548. Louis XIV, King of France, born, 1638. The Great Fire of London ended, having destroyed thousands of buildings including Old St Paul's Cathedral, 1666. Composer Amy Beach born, 1867. NASA launched the Voyager 1 spacecraft, 1977. Royal Air Force flying ace Douglas Bader died, 1982. International Day of Charity (UN).
 
Tuesday 6th September   -   Ottoman sultan Suleiman the Magnificent died, 1566. Public stage-plays were banned by the English Long Parliament, 1642. Scientist John Dalton born, 1766. Allied forces liberated Ypres, Belgium, and the nightly "Last Post" ceremony at the Menin Gate resumed, 1944. Actress Kay Kendall died, 1959. Singer-songwriter Nina Persson born, 1974.
 
Wednesday 7th September   -   Queen Elizabeth I of England born, 1533. Glover and leatherworker John Shakespeare, father of William, died, 1601. The French defeated the Russians at the Battle of Borodino near Moscow, in the Napoleonic Wars, 1812. Actor Anthony Quayle born, 1913. Philo Farnsworth created the first fully electronic television system, 1927. Memoirist and writer Karen Blixen died, 1962.
 
Thursday 8th September   -   Michelangelo's David was unveiled in Florence, 1504. Mathematician Marin Mersenne born, 1588. Methematician and engineer Bernard Forest de Bélidor died, 1761. The body of Annie Chapman, Jack the Ripper's second canonical victim, was discovered, 1888. Singer-songwriter Patsy Cline born, 1932. Explorer Alexandra David-Néel died, 1969. International Literacy Day.


^ THE WISDOM OF...

This week, Samuel Pepys, from his diary entry for September 2nd:
Some of our mayds sitting up late last night to get things ready against our feast to-day, Jane called us up about three in the morning, to tell us of a great fire they saw in the City. So I rose and slipped on my nightgowne, and went to her window, and thought it to be on the backside of Marke-lane at the farthest; but, being unused to such fires as followed, I thought it far enough off; and so went to bed again and to sleep. About seven rose again to dress myself, and there looked out at the window, and saw the fire not so much as it was and further off. So to my closett to set things to rights after yesterday's cleaning. By and by Jane comes and tells me that she hears that above 300 houses have been burned down to-night by the fire we saw, and that it is now burning down all Fish-street, by London Bridge. So I made myself ready presently, and walked to the Tower, and there got up upon one of the high places, Sir J. Robinson's little son going up with me; and there I did see the houses at that end of the bridge all on fire, and an infinite great fire on this and the other side the end of the bridge; which, among other people, did trouble me for poor little Michell and our Sarah on the bridge. So down, with my heart full of trouble, to the Lieutenant of the Tower, who tells me that it begun this morning in the King's baker's' house in Pudding-lane, and that it hath burned St. Magnus's Church and most part of Fish-street already. So I down to the water-side, and there got a boat and through bridge, and there saw a lamentable fire. Poor Michell's house, as far as the Old Swan, already burned that way, and the fire running further, that in a very little time it got as far as the Steeleyard, while I was there. Everybody endeavouring to remove their goods, and flinging into the river or bringing them into lighters that layoff; poor people staying in their houses as long as till the very fire touched them, and then running into boats, or clambering from one pair of stairs by the water-side to another. And among other things, the poor pigeons, I perceive, were loth to leave their houses, but hovered about the windows and balconys till they were, some of them burned, their wings, and fell down. Having staid, and in an hour's time seen the fire: rage every way, and nobody, to my sight, endeavouring to quench it, but to remove their goods, and leave all to the fire, and having seen it get as far as the Steele-yard, and the wind mighty high and driving it into the City; and every thing, after so long a drought, proving combustible, even the very stones of churches, and among other things the poor steeple by which pretty Mrs. -------- lives, and whereof my old school-fellow Elborough is parson, taken fire in the very top, an there burned till it fell down: I to White Hall (with a gentleman with me who desired to go off from the Tower, to see the fire, in my boat); to White Hall, and there up to the Kings closett in the Chappell, where people come about me, and did give them an account dismayed them all, and word was carried in to the King. So I was called for, and did tell the King and Duke of Yorke what I saw, and that unless his Majesty did command houses to be pulled down nothing could stop the fire. They seemed much troubled, and the King commanded me to go to my Lord Mayor from him, and command him to spare no houses, but to pull down before the fire every way.


^ FILM QUIZ

A selection of quotations from films containing the word 'water' in the title, either as a whole word or part of a word. Answers next issue or from the regular address. Last issue's northerly quotations were from:


^ WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

IN BRIEF: Derek Skipper, from Orwell in Cambridgeshire, is thought to be the oldest person in the UK to sit a GCSE exam after getting a grade five (top marks) in Maths at the age of 92. GCSEs are normally taken around the age of 16. ● The evacuation order for the town of Futaba, near the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant, has been lifted more than ten years after Japan's worst nuclear disaster. It is the last of 11 evacuation orders brought in after the accident to be lifted. ● Duane Hansen, 60, has set a new world record by paddling 38 miles (61km) down the Missouri River in a hollowed-out 864lb (384kg) giant pumpkin he had grown specially for the attempt. ● The Malaysian army has apologised after two of its tanks broke down on consecutive days in Kuala Lumpur, blocking traffic on busy roads. ● Irish woman Ceola McGowan has won the World Double Bit Axe Throwing Championships. The 31-year-old credits her balance, focus and core strength on her other hobby, pole dancing. ● Crime writer Val McDermid has revealed that her publisher received a legal takedown notice from the Agatha Christie estate after they promoted her as the "queen of crime", a phrase the estate has copyrighted. ● A Silicon Valley start-up which has developed a system that can change the accents of call centre staff in real time has denied that by changing South Asian agents' voices to sound "white and American" it is racist. ● A Tesla owner, fed up with his phone's Bluetooth power management frequently stopping him from unlocking his car has had a chip implanted in his hand. As well as unlocking the Tesla, the chip can access his digital wallet and provide other contactless card services. ● The US Federal Aviation Authority has approved the Switchblade flying car for flight testing. ● A California highway had to be closed for several hours after a lorry was involved in a collision and shed more than 150,000 tomatoes across a 200' (61m) stretch of it, causing seven cars to crash in the resulting red slurry and bringing traffic to a standstill. ● After a two-year break thanks to COVID the World Gravy Wrestling Championships have returned to the Rose 'N' Bowl Pub in Rossendale, Lancashire. As the name suggests, contestants grapple for 2-minute bouts in a pool of gravy, with points awarded for wrestling skill, fancy dress and entertainment value. The men's and women's events, which raised money for East Lancashire Hospice, were won this year by Lloyd Clarkson and Imogen Young.

UPDATES: The trial reintroduction of bison in Kent has been so successful the Kent Wildlife Trust and Wildwood Trust want to open up a larger area of woodland to the animals, which clear undergrowth, allowing other plants and animals to thrive, fertilise the soil, de-bark invading conifers and provide nesting materials for birds with their moulted fur.


^ OBITUARIES

Animator and director Ralph Eggleston (The Lion King, WALL-E, For the Birds, 56), Brazilian indigenous person 'Man of the Hole' (last surviving member of his tribe, who had lived in isolation for the last 26 years, 60 [estimated]), chef and author Roland Mesnier (White House executive pastry chef for five presidents from Jimmy Carter to George W. Bush, 78), actor Joe E. Tata (Batman [1960s TV], The Rockford Files, Beverly Hills, 90210, 85), actor Richard Roat (Friends, Seinfeld, Cheers, 89), actor William Reynolds (The Thing That Couldn't Die, The Islanders, The Twilight Zone, 90), politician Mikhail Gorbachev (last general secretary of the Communist Party [1985-1991], last president of the Soviet Union [1990-1991], Nobel Peace Prize laureate [1990], 91), singer Mabel John (first female solo artist signed by Tamla (later Motown), "Your Good Thing (Is About to End)", 20 Feet From Stardom, 91), WWII US Navy ace fighter pilot Dean S. "Diz" Laird (the only known Navy ace to shoot down both German and Japanese aircraft, 101).


^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:
13, 17, 24, 41, 49, 55
[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.


^ AND FINALLY...

    Little Mary's mother had taken her and Little Jennifer for a riding lesson. When Little Jennifer got home her mother asked her how it had gone. "Very well, Mummy", Little Jennifer said, "but Little Mary's pony was much politer than mine."
    Somewhat bemused, her mother asked what she meant. Little Jennifer smiled as only she could, "Well, Mummy, we were learning how to do jumps and her pony let her go over first!"


^ ...end of line