Issue ^#689 - 4^th November 2022

Edited by and copyright ©2022 Simon Lamont
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tfir@simonlamont.co.uk

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Unless otherwise indicated dollar values are in US dollars. Currency conversions are at current rates at time of writing and may be rounded.
The Friday Irregular uses Common Era year notation.

^{^} ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 4th November		-		Mayan queen Yohl Ik'nal died, 604. Artist Gerard van Hornthorst born, 1592. Mozart's Symphony No. 36 premiered in Linz, Austria, 1783. Pilot Evelyn Bryan Johnson born, 1909. Howard Carter and his men discovered the entrance to Tutankhamun's tomb in the Valley of the Kings, Egypt, 1922. Actor Paul Eddington died, 1995.
Saturday 5th November		-		Soldier, landowner and part inspiration for Shakespeare's Falstaff, John Fastolf died, 1459. Conspirator Guy Fawkes was discovered in the cellars of the House of Lords guarding 36 barrels of gunpowder, and arrested, 1605. Writer John Brown born, 1715. British and French paratroopers landed in Egypt during the Suez Crisis, 1956. Singer-songwriter Lisa Scott-Lee born, 1975. Soprano Virginia MacWatters died, 2005. Guy Fawkes Night and related observances in the UK, Canada, New Zealand and Newfoundland and Labrador.
Sunday 6th November		-		The Charter of the Forest, restoring access rights to the royal forest for free men, was sealed by King Henry III of England, 1217. Suleiman the Magnificent, Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, born, 1494. Composer Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky died. 1893. Kyiv was liberated from German occupation by the 1st Ukranian Front, during World War II, 1943. Tennis player Ana Ivanovic born, 1987. Actress Gene Tierney died, 1991. International Day for Preventing the Exploitation of the Environment in War and Armed Conflict (United Nations).
Monday 7th November		-		The coronation of Elizabeth Stuart as Queen of Bohemia, 1619. Archaeologist William Stukeley born, 1687. Artist and cartographer Paul Sandby died, 1809. The first Melbourne Cup horse race was held, 1861. Model and actress Jean Shrimpton born, 1942. Humanitarian and 39th First Lady of the United States, Eleanor Roosevelt died, 1962. International Inuit Day.
Tuesday 8th November		-		Lettice Knollys, Countess of Essex and lady-in-waiting to Queen Elizabeth I of England, born, 1543. The Bodleian Library at the University of Oxford opened to the public, 1602. Robert Catesby, leader of the Gunpowder Plot, was shot dead while resisting arrest, 1605. Writer Bram Stoker born, 1847. Wilhelm Röntgen discovered X-Rays while experimenting with electricity, 1895. Philanthropist and First Lady of Florida [1991-98] Rhea Chiles died, 2015.
Wednesday 9th November		-		Isabella of Valois, queen consort of King Richard II of England, born, 1389. The Mayflower Pilgrims sighted land at what is now Cape Cod, Massachusetts, 1620. Sculptor and illustrator Giovanni Battista Piranesi died, 1778. Architect and designer Giles Gilbert Scott born, 1880. Version 1.0 of the Firefox web browser was released, 2004. Singer and activist Miriam Makeba died, 2008.
Thursday 10th November		-		The Netherlands ceded New Netherland on the east coast of America to England under the terms of the Treaty of Westminster, 1674. Artist and engraver William Hogarth born, 1697. Musician and folklorist Maria Jane Williams died, 1873. Sesame Street debuted on National Educational Television (today called PBS) in America, 1969. Actress Brittany Murphy born, 1977. Novelist and poet Ken Kesey died, 2001.

^{^} THE WISDOM OF...

This week, Eleanor Roosevelt:

You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.

^{^} FILM QUIZ

A selection of quotations from films containing the word 'dark' in the title, either as a whole word or part of a word. Answers next issue or from the regular address.

• - I'll swallow your soul!
  - Come get some.
• This famous linguist once said that of all the phrases in the English language, of all the endless combinations of words in all of history, that "cellar door" is the most beautiful.
• And if they ever ask about me, tell them I was more than just a great set of boobs. I was also an incredible pair of legs. And tell them... tell them that I never turned down a friend. I... never turned down a stranger for that matter. And tell them... tell them that when all is said and done, I only ask that people remember me by two simple words. ... Any two, as long as they're simple.
• All you care about is money. This city deserves a better class of criminal. And I'm gonna give it to them!
• The bathroom's pretty much self-explanatory.

Last issue's ghostly quotations were from:

• Excuse me, I really must gibber at the oriole window.
      -- The Canterville Ghost [1944]
• We lost the firehouse. It's a Starbucks now.
      -- Ghostbusters: Afterlife [2021]
• These Italian liners, ya know, they couldn't compete for speed, so they built these floating art palaces instead.
      -- Ghost Ship [2002]
• Ryan, your daughter was born on June 6th, 2005. Right? It's the sixth day of the sixth month of the sixth year, 2005. 666. I believe this is no coincidence. She's part of the prophecy.
      -- Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension [2015]
• Beware all wenches.
      -- Blackbeard's Ghost [1968]

^{^} WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

• Villagers in Rossington, near Doncaster in Yorkshire are reportedly being terrorised by a local resident called Derek. Derek is a jackdaw who dive-bombs children and pesters people while in search of his favourite food - spaghetti hoops, which some children have taken to feeding him along with other snacks. ● A crew member on a fishing boat 100 miles (160km) off the northeast coast of Scotland rescued a long-eared owl that landed on the boat after it was attacked by seagulls. It is thought the owl had been blown out to sea by strong winds. It had minor injuries but was cared for by the crew, perked up after being fed chopped steak and settled in a cardboard box in the wheelhouse. When they returned to port in Peterhead the owl was handed to the Huntly Falconry Centre, who plan to release it back into the wild after a couple of weeks of care. ● An aye-aye at the Duke Lemur Center in North Carolina aroused interest when it was observed picking its nose, something other primates and humans do, but because the aye-aye's middle fingers are so long and thin (to scoop out grubs from inside trees) Kali, the aye-aye, was put in a CT scanner and researchers realised that her finger reached all the way through her nasal cavity to the back of her mouth. ● It is known that many animals including cats, dogs, rodents, birds, frogs and even fish like to play but a new study suggests that bumblebees do as well. Buff-tailed bumblebees were filmed rolling wooden balls around without being trained to and with no expectation of reward. The research raises important questions about sentience in insects. ● Islanders on Jersey are being asked to report sightings of a coypu, a large non-native herbivorous rodent, after one arrived on the island presumably on a ship as, although they can swim and hold their breath for 10 minutes at a time, Jersey is almost 14 miles (22/5km) from the French mainland and surrounded by strong currents. ● Sydney Zoo had to be put on lockdown last Wednesday after five lions escaped from their enclosure. The adult and four cubs got into an area adjacent to the enclosure, not far from where guests were staying overnight, but got no further and all but one cub went back into the enclosure by themselves; the remaining cub had to be tranquilised. ● A young bar-tailed godwit which was tagged in Alaska appears to have set a new non-stop distance record for migration after being recorded in Tasmania, 8,435 miles (13,560km) away.


• Astronomers have identified a 0.9 mile- (1.5km)-wide asteroid that was being hidden by the glare of the Sun. Asteroids over 0.6 miles (1km) across are dubbed "planet killers" because they could cause mass extinctions were they to collide with the Earth. ● Scientists are analysing the rings of ancient trees to look for evidence of Miyake Events, massive bursts of cosmic radiation that occur approximately every thousand years and are unconnected to sunspots and regular solar storms. They are looking for the carbon-14 isotope which is created when radiation interacts with the upper atmosphere, and is taken up by plants and trees. ● Researchers from NASA and US universities have identified nine caves on Mars that they think are the most viable sites for future manned missions to set up shelters in to avoid the harsh atmosphere and wildly-fluctuating temperatures on the surface.


• A fossil kept at the Bruce Museum in Greenwich since its discovery in 1933 has been identified as a previously-unknown species of small dinosaur. Centuriavis lioae, named after museum director Suzanne Lio, lived around 11 million years ago and is a distant ancestor of modern turkeys and grouse. ● Leeds senior librarian Rhian Isaac was cross-referencing the city libraries' collection of old books against a global database of known books containing poison when she found that an 1855 copy of My Own Garden: The Young Gardener's Yearbook held at the library contained arsenic in the green dye its covers were printed with. The book has been sent for analysis to determine the level of poison it contains. ● Analysis of the oldest human DNA found in the UK, from a 15,000-year-old female's skull found in Somerset and a 13,500-year-old male's skull found in North Wales, has identified two genetically distinct groups which migrated from Europe as the glaciers retreated after the last ice age. ● One of the original mechanical models of E.T., used in the film of the same name, is going up for auction in December. The E.T. Hero "No. 1" model has 85 controllable joints and is expected to sell for $2-3m (£1.7-2.6m). Actress Drew Barrymore, who played Gertie Taylor in the film at the age of six, recently revealed that while filming she thought E.T. was really alive and praised director Steven Spielberg for ensuring that there was always someone on hand to control the model when she was around, to keep the magic alive for her.


• A Kansas man was arrested and charged with joyriding last month after being found to have clung to the door bar on the back of a lorry for 130 miles (209km). The driver only stopped when other truckers signalled him to. The man, who had climbed onto the truck at a shipping yard, was also charged with public intoxication. ● After spending 38 years in federal prison for one murder and two attempted murders Maurice Hastings has been freed because new DNA evidence pointed to another man, who died in prison in 2020, as the culprit. ● A remote Scottish village near Aberdeen is having to erect "tamper proof" placename signs because people keep vandalising or stealing them. The village, which is often cut off in snowy weather, is called Cock Bridge.


• Scientists in Antarctica have discovered a network of lakes and rivers below the ice sheet, including one river which is 286 miles (460km) in length, longer than the River Thames. The river influences the speed at which the ice melts. ● Levels of methane - a more potent greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide - in the atmosphere reached a record concentration in 2021 and scientists are at a loss to explain why. As well as man-made methane releases including from oil and gas extraction there are natural sources of emissions and the problem can be exacerbated by climate change. ● A sixth set of human remains has been uncovered by the falling waters of Lake Mead, while the Mississippi has revealed the wreck of The Diamond Lady, a casino boat that sank while moored at a marina during a winter storm last year.

IN BRIEF: A British kayaker has been rescued after being found clinging to a buoy in the English Channel. It is thought that he had been there for around 48 hours after his kayak had capsized. ● A couple trying for their fourth child to complete their ideal family size were stunned to discover that they were instead expected quadruplets. ● Swiss railway company Rhaetian Railway has claimed a new record for the longest passenger train to mark the 175^th anniversary of Switzerland's railway network, with a train 1.2 miles (1,906m) in length, comprising 100 carriages and 25 four-car self-propelled electric multiple units. ● A man who spent 130 hours over three years creating a "cork suit" made of over 1,150 corks has pronounced it a complete success after wearing it to float in Lake Michigan. ● Collins English Dictionary has selected 'permacrisis' - the feeling of living through a permanent crisis brought about by war, inflation and political instability - as its word of the year. Other noted words include 'Carolean' - of or relating to King Charles III, or his reign, 'Partygate' - the political scandal over social gatherings held in British government offices during the pandemic, when such events were banned, 'sportswashing' - the sponsorship of sporting events by a country or business to enhance a tarnished reputation or distract from controversy, 'quiet quitting' - doing the bare minimum required at work and 'splooting' - lying prone with the legs stretched back. ● The curator of the art collection of North Rhine-Westphalia in Düsseldorf has admitted that it has displayed Piet Mondrian's grid-like painting New York City 1 upside down since 1980. The mistake only came to light when she was researching for a new exhibition about the artist and saw a photograph of it hanging in New York's Museum of Modern Art. The painting has been judged too fragile to hang the right way up now. ● Rolex have created a watch that will withstand water pressure up to 36,090' (11,000m) below the surface. The deepest dive by an unprotected saturation diver was 1,752' (534m)... ● Taylor Swift has become the first recording artist to occupy all of the top ten positions on the Billboard US singles chart at the same time. ● The UK government is recruiting for a "head of uncertainty and scenarios", possibly the most appropriate-sounding British job at the moment... ● Wakefield artist Lanson Moore intends to immortalise her "eccentric" father by incorporating his ashes into a painting. ● The Great Clock in the British Parliament's Elizabeth Tower, commonly - and mistakenly - known as Big Ben^* observed the switch back to Greenwich Mean Time last weekend for the first time since 2017, when it was dismantled for repairs and renovation. Rather than move the hands back though it was just dimmed at 10pm, stopped at midnight then relit and restarted at 2am.

^*Big Ben is, strictly speaking, the Great Bell of the clock.

^{^} OBITUARIES

Food writer and blogger Julie Powell (Julie & Julia: 365 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen, Cleaving: A Story of Marriage, Meat, and Obsession, portrayed by Amy Adams in Nora Ephron's Julie & Julia, 49), Kenyan elephant Dida (also known as Queen of Tsavo, thought to have been Africa's largest female tusker, 60-65), drummer D.H. Peligro (Dead Kennedys, Red Hot Chili Peppers, 63), actor Michael Kopsa (The X-Files, Fringe, Christmas Under the Stars, 66), businessman Peter De Savary (the Carnegie Club at Skibo Castle, captained the British sailing team in the 1983 America's Cup, chairman of Millwall F.C., 78), singer-songwriter and pianist Jerry Lee Lewis ("Great Balls of Fire", "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On", "Another Place, Another Time", 87), Holocaust survivor Hannah Pick-Goslar (childhood friend of Anne Frank, referred to in her diary as 'Hanneli', 93), computer scientist Professor Kathleen Booth (collaborated on the Automatic Relay Calculator in 1946, co-invented drum memory storage, invented "Contracted Notation" [now known as assembly language], 100).

^{^} DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:

4, 6, 11, 16, 28, 43

[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.

^{^} AND FINALLY...

    Little Jennifer's parents had taken her to visit her grandmother for the old lady's birthday. Her mother had brought in a cake covered in candles. "Do you like cake, Granny?" Little Jennifer asked.
    Her grandmother smiled. "Oh, yes, Little Jennifer, but I can only eat a little bit as it gives me terrible heartburn."
    Little Jennifer looked at the cake and thought for a moment. "Perhaps you should be sure to take the candles off before eating it then, Granny!"

---

^{^} ...end of line