The Friday Irregular

Issue #706 - 10th March 2023


Edited by and copyright ©2023 Simon Lamont
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tfir@simonlamont.co.uk

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Unless otherwise indicated dollar values are in US dollars. Currency conversions are at current rates at time of writing and may be rounded.
The Friday Irregular uses Common Era year notation.

CONTENTS



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^ WORD OF THE WEEK

aboulomania
  n. pathological indecisiveness or lack of willpower

^ ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 10th March   -   Roman Emperor Maximian made a triumphal entrty into Carthage at the end of his North Africa campaign, 298. English statesman, Lord High Treasurer and Lord Keeper of the Great Seal William Paulet, 1st Marquess of Winchester, died, 1572. Businessman and philanthropist Joseph Williamson born, 1769. King Louis Philippe of France created the French Foreign Legion, 1831. Sculptor Anna Hyatt Huntington born, 1876. Nurse, abolitionist and activist Harriet Tubman died, 1913.
 
Saturday 11th March   -   Scandal-ridden Roman Emperor Elagabalus was assassinated, aged 18, along with his mother, 222. Mary of Woodstock, daughter of King Edward I of England, born, 1278. England's first national daily newspaper, The Daily Courant, was published for the first time, 1702. Racing driver Malcolm Campbell born, 1885. Social scientist, geographer and activist Doreen Massey died, 2016. The World Health Organization declared the COVID-19 epidemic a pandemic, 2020.
 
Sunday 12th March   -   The Siege of Maastricht, in the Eighty Years' War, began, 1579. Jane Pierce, 15th First Lady of the United States as the wife of President Franklin Pierce, born, 1806. Actress Josephine Hull died, 1957. Sculptor Anish Kapoor born, 1954. Sir Tim Berners-Lee submitted a proposal to CERN for an information management system which would become the World Wide Web, 1989. Author Sir Terry Pratchett took Death's arm and followed him through the doors and on to the black desert under the endless night, 2015. World Day Against Cyber Censorship.
 
Monday 13th March   -   Louis I, Duke of Orléans, born, 1372. Actor Richard Burbage died, 1619. William Herschel discovered Uranus, 1781. Opera singer Jenny Twitchell Kempton died, 1921. Environmental scientist Donella Meadows born, 1941. The 1993 Storm of the Century struck the eastern United States, 1993.
 
Tuesday 14th March   -   Solomon, King of Hungary, was forced to flee to the country's western borderlands after defeat at the Battle of Mogyoród, 1074. Composer Johann Strauss the Elder born, 1804. Socio-economic philosopher and theorist Karl Marx died, 1883. Jack Ruby was convicted of killing Lee Harvey Oswald, detained on suspicion of assassinating U.S. President John F. Kennedy, 1964. Actress Rita Tushingham born, 1942. Civil rights activist and philanthropist Fannie Lou Hamer died, 1977. Pi Day.
 
Wednesday 15th March   -   Roman general and politician Julius Caesar was assassinated, 44 BCE. Surgeon and botanist Archibald Menzies born, 1754. George Washington gave a speech asking his officers not to support the Newburgh Conspiracy, heading off a threatened coup d'état, 1783. Anglo-Irish landowner and playwright Augusta, Lady Gregory, born, 1852. The first official cricket test match was played between Australia and England in Melbourne, 1877. Actress Thora Hird died, 2003. World Consumer Rights Day. The Ides of March (Roman calendar).
 
Thursday 16th March   -   Anne Neville, queen of King Richard III of England, died, 1485. Japanese daimyō Ii Naotaka born, 1590. Algonquian Mohegan Samoset visited the Plymouth Colony, greeting settlers in English, 1621. Actress Sienna Guillory born, 1975. The supertanker Amoco Cadiz broke in two after running aground on rocks off the Brittany coast, resulting in the then-largest (now twelfth-largest) oil spill in history, 1978. Surf-rock guitarist and singer-songwriter Dick Dale died, 2019.


^ THE WISDOM OF...

This week, Terry Pratchett, in The Unadulterated Cat:
Consider the situation. There you are, forehead like a set of balconies, worrying about the long-term effects of all this new 'fire' stuff on the environment, you're being chased and eaten by most of the planet's large animals, and suddenly tiny versions of one of the worst of them wanders into the cave and starts to purr.


^ FILM QUIZ

A selection of quotations from films containing the word 'nine' (or the numeral '9') in the title, either on its own or part of a word/number. Answers next issue or from the regular address. Last issue's fire quotations were from:


^ WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

IN BRIEF: More than 1,000 schoolchildren, mostly girls, across Iran have fallen ill over the last three months because of alleged poisonings, possibly with toxic gas. While the pattern suggests mass hysteria, as has happened in other countries, many in Iran believe that the government is targetting them in order to force the schools to close because they have been centres of the anti-government protests that have swept the country since September. ● Canadian twins Adiah and Adrial Nadarajah have been certified by Guinness World Records as the world's most premature surviving twins. They were born at 22 weeks, 126 days early, beating the previous record holders by one day. ● The red and yellow globe hot air balloon used in BBC TV ident videos between 1998 and 2002 is to be flown again for the first time since being mothballed in 2002. If it proves to be still flightworthy it will be flown, tethered, at the Midlands Air Festival in June. ● A businessman who makes £200,000 ($236,500) a year was greeted with no sympathy whatsoever when he whined online about the cost of taking Übers and hiring chauffers after being banned from driving for a year because he crashed his Ferrari, causing damage to five other cars, and fled the scene. ● Retail store Marks & Spencer have apologised after displaying daffodils next to spring onions in the "seasonal favourites" section of their produce section. Daffodil bulbs can be poisonous. ● School dinner lady Brenda Rotherham, 81, has retired after working at the same school, St George's Catholic Primary School in Maghull, Merseyside, for fity years. ● A Spanish court has ruled that a man must pay his ex-wife €204,643 (£182,000; $215,250) for 25 years of unpaid domestic labour while she was married to him, because he had wanted her to stay at home except for a small amount of public relations work in gyms he owned. ● A campaign to save a Birkenhead, Merseyside, flat that had been transformed with artworks, including a sculpted minotaur head and a lion, by its amateur artist resident over 33 years, but was at risk after the building's owner put the entire house up for sale, has been saved after an anonymous donor stepped in at the last minute. The flat, known as "Ron's Place" will become the centre of a charity to promote art and mental health awareness. ● Two RAF Typhoon jets scrambled from RAF Coningsby in Lincolnshire to intercept a civilian plane that had ceased contact with ground control while flying from Iceland to Kenya caused a sonic boom that was head in Leicestershire, Northamptonshire and Oxfordshire. The plane was diverted to Stansted Airport in Essex where police found that the loss of contact was due to "equipment malfunction and nothing of concern". ● While being interviewed on the GB News TV channel lawyer Jonathan Coad exploded when asked about representing former Health Secretary Matt Hancock, ranting that "I made it absolutely clear to your programme, I asked them not to disclose that." It later emerged that in his email to the production team specifying his terms for appearing, he had accidentally omitted the word 'not', implying that he did want to be asked about it... [It is easy to do - while proofreading this issue I found a missing 'not' further up... -Ed] ● Patricia Kemp, known as an "eccentric" street preacher, was last seen in Philadelphia in 1992 and declared dead 25 years ago. She has now been found alive in a nursing home in Puerto Rico. ● A new ruling in Switzerland that milk-based products cannot use national symbols on their packaging unless they are exclusively made in the country means that American food conglomerate Mondelez will have to redesign the packaging of Toblerone bars to remove the iconic image of the Matterhorn mountain, replacing it with a generic summit. Whether or not it will still include a bear (the regional symbol of the Bernese Oberland in the current design) remains to be seen. Mondelez received criticism in 2016 for introducing more space between the triangular 'peaks' in the bars to reduce costs; the change was reversed two years later.

UPDATES: The U.S. Office of the Director of National Intelligence has issued a report concluding that "Havana syndrome", the unexplained illness reported in American embassies around the globe, starting in Cuba in 2016, while "genuine and compelling", is "very unlikely" to be caused by a hostile foreign government. More than 1,500 "anomalous health incidents" across more than 90 countries, affecting staffers, military officers and aides, as well as Vice President Kamala Harris, were analysed.


^ OBITUARIES

Bassist, songwriter and music producer Steve Mackey (Pulp, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, "Kiss With a Fist", 56), actor Tom Sizemore (Saving Private Ryan, Natural Born Killers, Heat, 61), New Zealand politician Georgina Beyer (the world's first openly transgender MP [1999-2007], worked to legalise same-sex civil unions [2004], 65), guitarist and songwriter Gary Rossington (founding member and last-surviving member of Lynyrd Skynyrd, the Rossington Collins Band, The Rossington Band, 71), Lynda Kasabian (former member of the Manson family cult who turned star witness for the prosecution over the 1969 Tate-LaBianca murders, 73), actress Sara Lane (The Virginian, I Saw What You Did, The Trial of Billy Jack, 73), disability rights activist Judy Heumann (the first wheelchair user to be employed as a teacher in New York City, served in the Clinton and Obama administrations, led a 24-day protest that paved the way for the Americans with Disabilities Act, 75), architect Rafael Viñoly (The "Walkie Talkie" in London, the Cleveland Museum of Art, The Tokyo International Forum, 78), actor Ted Donaldson (A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Once Upon a Time, Mr Winkle Goes to War, 89), jazz saxophonist and composer Wayne Shorter (founding member of Art Blakey's Jazz Messengers, the Miles Davis Quintet and Weather Band, "Black Nile", "Nefertiti", 89), bodybuilder and actor Ed Fury (Demetrius and the Gladiators, Bus Stop, The Wild Women of Wongo, 94), super-centenarian Johanna Mazibuko (unofficially the world's oldest living person, 128).


^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:
5, 25, 26, 37, 40, 48
[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.


^ AND FINALLY...

    "LITTLE JENNIFER!" the teacher said, in the middle of a lesson, "I would appreciate it if you did not fall asleep in class!"
    Little Jennifer slowly opened her eyes and looked around at her friend's bemused faces, then smiled as only she could. "But, Miss, I wasn't asleep, I was studying what you wrote on the board so hard that my eyes got tired and I had to rest them!"


^ ...end of line