Issue ^#719 - 9^th June 2023

Edited by and copyright ©2023 Simon Lamont
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tfir@simonlamont.co.uk

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Unless otherwise indicated dollar values are in US dollars. Currency conversions are at current rates at time of writing and may be rounded.
The Friday Irregular uses Common Era year notation.

^{^} ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 9th June		-		Roman emperor Nero committed suicide, triggering the Year of Four Emperors civil war, 68. The Dutch fleet began the five-day Raid on the Medway, which remains the Royal Navy's worst defeat, 1667. Russian emperor Peter the Great born, 1672. The International Council on Archives was founded, 1948. Actress Natalie Portman born, 1981. Singer-songwriter Julee Cruise died, 2022. Coral Triangle Day.
Saturday 10th June		-		Alexander the Great died, 323 BCE. Willem Barents and Jacob van Heemskerk discovered Bear Island, 1596. Princess Caroline of Great Britain born, 1713. The first Boat Race between the University of Oxford and the University of Cambridge took place at Henley, 1829. Author and illustrator Maurice Sendak born, 1928. Ice hockey player Gordie Howe died, 2016. World Art Nouveau Day.
Sunday 11th June		-		The marriage of King Henry VIII of England to Catherine of Aragon, his first wife, 1509. Mary of Guise, queen consort of Scotland, died, 1560. Photographer Julia Margaret Cameron born, 1815. The USS Missouri was commissioned, 1944. Drummer Frank Beard born, 1949. Actor and screenwriter DeForest Kelley died, 1999.
Monday 12th June		-		Æthelflæd, Lady of the Mercians and daughter of Alfred the Great, died, 918. The city of Helsinki was founded, 1550. Astronomer and mathematician Paul Guldin born, 1577. Anne Frank was given a diary for her thirteenth birthday, 1942. Actress Frances O'Connor born, 1967. Composer György Ligeti died, 2006. World Day Against Child Labour.
Tuesday 13th June		-		Rebels set fire to the Savoy Palace as the Peasants' Revolt came to a head, 1381. Printmaker Jost Amman born, 1539. Poet Veronica Gambara died, 1550. Ludwig II, King of Bavaria, died in unexplained circumstances, 1886. Pioneer 10 passed beyond the orbit of Neptune, becoming the first man-made object to leave the central Solar System, 1983. Rugby union player Rachel Taylor born, 1983. International Albinism Awareness Day.
Wednesday 14th June		-		Goldsmith Jacob Kroger was hanged for stealing the jewels of Anne of Denmark, 1594. The Parliamentarian New Model Army decisively defeated the Royalist army under Charles I and Prince Rupert at the Battle of Naseby in the First English Civil War, 1645. Tennis player Steffi Graf born, 1969. Argentine forces in Stanley surrendered to the British at the end of the Falklands War, 1982. Pianist Lang Lang born, 1982. Artist Mimi Parent died, 2005. World Blood Donor Day.
Thursday 15th June		-		King John of England put his seal to Magna Carta, 1215. Peasants' Revolt leader Wat Tyler was killed during negotiations with King Richard II, 1381. Lisa del Giocondo, model for the Mona Lisa, born, 1479. Edweard Muybridge took a series of photographs to prove that a horse's feet were all off the ground at the same time as it ran, paving the way for motion pictures, 1878. Actor Simon Callow born, 1949. Singer-songwriter Ella Fitzgerald died, 1996. Global Wind Day.

^{^} THE WISDOM OF...

This week, Maurice Sendak:

Once a little boy sent me a charming card with a little drawing on it. I loved it. I answer all my children's letters - sometimes very hastily - but this one I lingered over. I sent him a card and I drew a picture of a Wild Thing on it. I wrote, "Dear Jim: I loved your card." Then I got a letter back from his mother and she said, "Jim loved your card so much he ate it." That to me was one of the highest compliments I've ever received. He didn't care that it was an original Maurice Sendak drawing or anything. He saw it, he loved it, he ate it.

^{^} FILM QUIZ

A selection of quotations from films containing the word 'sun' in the title, either as a whole word or part of a word. Answers next issue or from the regular address.

• We have an excess of manliness in the comm center right now.
• Oh, my God. She runs like a dromedary with dropsy.
• Amatus sum, amatus es, amatus est.
• Under that heathen blanket, there's a full-blossomed woman built by the devil to drive men crazy.
• Cancel the Super Bowl? That's like canceling Christmas!

Last issue's womanly quotations were from:

• Christopher Columbus!
      -- Little Women [1949]
• I will never forgive you for letting my boy die. I will never forgive. Never forgive. Never forgive. Never forgive. Never forgive. Never forgive.
      -- The Woman in Black [2012]
• I'm the man-eating bitch Darth Vader of the ad world.
      -- What Women Want [2000]
• People's reactions to opera the first time they see it is very dramatic; they either love it or they hate it. If they love it, they will always love it. If they don't, they may learn to appreciate it, but it will never become part of their soul.
      -- Pretty Woman [1990]
• You took the short path. You cheated, Diana. That is the truth.
      -- Wonder Woman 1984 [2020]

^{^} WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

• A stretch of the M55 motorway near Junction 3 in Lancashire was brought to a standstill last week after an escaped llama ran onto the road. It was eventually removed by police and highways officers. ● Rosie, thought to be the oldest living cat in the UK, recently celebrated her 32^nd birthday with a red salmon cake. ● Managers of a building on Wacker Drive, Chicago, have had to put up signs advising pedestrians to "take a different path" past the building as two peregrine falcons have nested on a seventh-floor ledge and have taken to dive-bombing people walking below who they perceive as threats. ● A rare and endangered Florida Ghost Orchid has bloomed in the UK for the first time, at Kew Gardens. ● A customs officer at Miami International Airport got a shock when he opened a passenger's carry-on luggage and found a number of parrot eggs, some of which had seemingly hatched in-flight. ● A strange creature apparently with wings and a beak stumped almost everyone including wildlife officials when it was filmed swimming near a bridge on Pawley's Island, South Caroline. Brad Panovich, chief meteorologist at local TV station WCNC finally solved the mystery, telling colleagues on-air that he thinks it is a sea hare or sea slug. The creatures are more usually found off Florida and on the West Coast, but are thought to be moving north as water temperatures rise. ● Moon, a two-month-old baby donkey that was stolen from her mother on an activity farm in Hook, Hampshire, before she finished weaning was discovered 60 miles (97km) away, in Buckinghamshire, after staff received a tip-off and police received reports of a small donkey in the back of a car. Two men have been arrested.


• Enceladus, an icy moon of Saturn, is known to have geysers across its surface, but the James Webb Space Telescope (JWST) has photographed one spurting 5,965 miles (9,600km) into space - roughly the distance from the UK to Cape Town, South Africa. ● Next year Jaxa, the Japanese space agency, and NASA will jointly launch the LignoSat satellite, made of wood, after tests aboard the International Space Station showed that it is a feasible material to use for space missions. ● Scientists using the JWST have identified large organic molecules, the basis of hydrocarbons on Earth, in a galaxy 12 billion light years away. ● Researchers at the California Institute of Technology have demonstrated for the first time that solar power can be harvested in space and beamed down to Earth. Jaxa is planning on starting beaming solar energy from space back to Earth at scale in 2025. Because the technology uses microwaves it will not be blocked by clouds.


• A lump of decoratively-carved wood found preserved in peat during a construction project has been identified as the oldest yet found in Britain, dating to some 6,000 years ago. It is only the second example of Mesolithic wood carving found in Britain. It will eventually go on display at the West Berkshire Museum in Newbury. ● A doll which was recovered from nearly being thrown out has been sold at auction for almost £53,000 ($66,100). Despite having had its foot chewed on by a dog at some point it was identified as an extremely rare Kammer & Reinhardt Walter 102 bisque doll dating to 1910. ● The preview of the auction of Freddy Mercury's Queen archives has revealed hand-written notes showing that "Bohemian Rhapsody" was originally titled "Mongolian Rhapsody" ● A pair of 60'- (18m)-high rubber ducks are floating off Hong Kong to mark the 10^th anniversary of their first visit as part of Florentijn Hofman's travelling Double Ducks art exhibition. ● A paperback copy of Ian Serraillier's Havelok the Warrior has been returned to Hastings library almost 48 years after it was borrowed. It was returned during an amnesty so there was no fine to be paid. ● Archaeologists in Spain, using a drone to explore almost-inaccessible caves in Alicante have discovered prehistoric cave paintings. ● Two teenagers on their first magnet fishing trip, on the River Wye at the end of last month, hauled in a badly-corroded, rounded metallic object. They called police officers, who initially thought it was an old light bulb, but then specialists from the bomb squad identified it as a live World War II hand grenade. It was destroyed in a controlled explosion in a nearby field. ● A woman taking a walk on the Rio Del Mar State Beach in California on Memorial Day last month discovered a fossilised molar from a Pacific Mastodon, a prehistoric animal similar to a modern-day elephant. ● A rare, signed white-label copy of Frankie Goes to Hollywood's 1984 debut album, Welcome to the Pleasure Dome, has sold at auction for £3,500 ($4,360).


• Finnish businessman Anders Wiklöf has had his driving license suspended for ten days and been fined the equivalent of £104,000 ($130,000) after being caught driving at 51mph (82km/h) in a 30mph (50km/h) zone. The reason for such a heavy fine is that the offence was committed on the Aaland Islands in the Baltic Sea, where ticket fines are calculated as a percentage of the offender's income. Wiklöf told reporters that he hoped the fine could go towards Finland's healthcare service. ● A man has been caught trying to shoplift chocolate bars from a Co-op store in Worthing, West Sussex. No impulse theft of a single bar though, the man was recorded on in-store CCTV stuffing £116 ($145) worth of chocolate, including 48 Twix bars, 48 Snickers bars, 24 Bounty bars and 24 Yorkie bars into his jacket. Sussex Police tweeted that "Jordan Thomson has been up to his old Twix. The sweet-toothed shoplifter is behind bars again, after stealing a Bounty-ful supply of chocolate. This is a real Boost for the business community, with theft being a hot Topic recently." ● Cornish police and antiquary authorities are concerned after an attack on a 3,000-year-old standing stone, the Men Scryfa stone in western Cornwall. It appears that flammable liquid had been poured over the top of the stone and set alight to burn off the lichen covering it, and atempts had been made to dig around the base of the stone, possibly in an attempt to remove it. ● Police in Michigan found themselves in an unusual road chase last week after a 10-year-old boy stole his mother's car and took to the highway.


• To improve fuel efficiency Air New Zealand are weighing passengers before they board international flights. The data is stored anonymously and is not available to airline staff or passengers, and will be used to calculate the average passenger weight. Similar research was carried out on domestic flights in 2021. ● Tens of millions of people in North East America are under an air quality alert because of the intense wildfires in Ontario and Quebec, in Canada. Planned demonstrations by the Writers' Guild of America had to be cancelled because of the poor air quality in New York City. ● Possibly the largest wildfire recorded in the UK has been brought under control by the Scottish Fire and Rescue Service. A 30 square mile (80km²) area of scrub and woodland near Cannich in the Highlands had sent a smoke plume 12 miles (20km) into the air, large enough to be picked up by NASA satellites. ● The deepest artificial hole in China is to be dug, going down some 32,800' (10,000m). By digging back to around 145 million-year-old rock layers scientists hope to find ways to better alert people to earthquakes or volcanoes, to identify possibly valuable minerals and, perhaps, to find life; a previous borehole revealed plankton 21,000' (6,400m) underground. The Chinese borehole will not be the deepest in the world - in 1970 Soviet engineers had to abandon the Kola Superdeep Borehole after it reached just over 36,100' (11,000m). ● Parts of the massive belt of Sargassum seaweed heading towards Florida have been found to be infected with the Vibrio flesh-eating bacterium. ● British scientists have developed peas that do not taste like peas. It is hoped that they could be used to replace much of the four million tonnes of soya imported every year for food and animal feed; most of the imported soya is grown in deforested South American rainforest. ● Researchers in Hong Kong have set a new record for the power generated by an organic solar cell (OSC), with a power-conversion efficiency of 19.3%. It is hoped that OSCs will eventually be able to be incorporated into windows and other areas of buildings.

IN BRIEF: The US Air Force has denied reports that a drone being flown in a simulation, controlled by an artificial intelligence system, fired on its operator's location. ● Apple has announced that its text autocorrect system will stop replacing expletives with tamer words in an update to iOS 17 due next month. ● Doubles tennis players Miyu Kato and Aldida Sutjiadi were forced to forfeit their French Open match on Sunday after accidentally hitting a ball girl on the back of her neck with a random shot as she left the court after a point. ● Nepali Gelje Sherpa is being praised after he found a shivering man hanging from a rope in Mount Everest's "dead zone", rescued him, wrapped him in a sleeping bag and, alternating with Ngima Tashi Sherpa, dragged or carried him on his back for almost six hours back to safety. ● Fans attending Taylor Swift's latest concert tour are reporting suffering post-concert amnesia, the inability to remember anything from the three-hour shows. ● The classic first-person shooter video game Doom has been ported to all sorts of unlikely equipment since its release in 1993, and now it has appeared on CEEFAX, the defunct teletext information service in use in Britain from 1974 to 2012. Because CEEFAX is not a fully-interactive system like a regular computer DOOM is not actually playable on it but still runs after a fashion. ● Be careful what you wish for - in Utah the Republican-majority state government passed a law last year banning "pornographic or indecent" books from schools. A complaint from a parent citing the law has resulted in a school district removing copies of the Bible from elementary and middle schools. ● As this issue is being written David Bingham, 60, should be completing his epic pub crawl of all 875 Wetherspoons pubs in the British Isles, with a pint at The Flying Horse in Gatwick Airport. The pub is located behind the security barrier meaning that he will have to buy an airline ticket to get in. ● It has been alleged that set construction for the Barbie film used up all the pink paint in the world. There is some truth in the claim, but Rosco, makers of the bright pink paint, already had lower-than-normal stock levels due to the pandemic. [We have seen the trailers. It is very pink... -Ed]

^{^} OBITUARIES

Composer Kaija Saariaho (L'Amour de loin, Petals, D'Om le Vrai Sens, 70), athlete and American football player Jim Hines (the first man to run the 100m in under 10s, Kansas City Chiefs, Miami Dolphins, 76), actor Sergio Calderón (Men in Black, Little Fockers, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, 77), actor Helmut Berger (The Damned, Ludwig, Conversation Piece, 78), songwriter Cynthia Weil ("On Broadway", "Uptown", "Walking in the Rain", 82), singer and actress Astrud Gilberto ("The Girl From Ipanema", The Hanged Man, "Fly Me to the Moon", 83), actor Barry Newman (Petrocelli, Vanishing Point, Fear is the Key, 92), actress Patricia Dainton (Hammer the Toff, The Passionate Stranger, The House in Marsh Road, 93).

^{^} DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:

16, 25, 39, 49, 55, 57

[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.

^{^} AND FINALLY...

    Little Jennifer came home from school walking uncomfortably. "Oh, Little Jennifer," her mother said, "you've got your shoes on the wrong feet!"
    Little Jennifer looked down, then looked puzzled. "No, Mummy," she said, "they are definitely my feet!"

---

^{^} ...end of line