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^ WORD OF THE WEEKconfelicity |
This is the final issue for 2023. We wish you happy times and will be back on January 5th.
Friday 22nd December - The English Anarchy civil war began with the private coronation of Stephen of Blois as King of England, 1135. Stage magician and inventor John Nevil Maskelyne born, 1839. Novelist George Eliot died, 1880. The SR-71 Blackbird made its first test flight, from Air Force Plant 42 in Palmdale, California, 1964. Journalist and broadcaster Richard Dimbleby died, 1965. Singer-songwriter and actress Vanessa Paradis born, 1972. The winter solstice in the Northern hemisphere and summer solstice in the Southern hemisphere. Saturday 23rd December - Artist Barbara Longhi died, 1638. Philologist Jean-François Champollion, decipherer of the Rosetta Stone, born, 1790. Jane Austen's novel Emma was published, 1815. Pilot, engineer and aircraft designer Anthony Fokker died, 1939. Poet Carol Ann Duffy born, 1955. The North Tower of the World Trade Center in New York City was topped out at 1,368' (417m), then the tallest building in the world, 1970. Tom Bawcock's Eve in Mousehole, Cornwall. Festivus (Seinfeld). HumanLight (US secular humanism). Sunday 24th December - Explorer Vasco da Gama died, 1524. Artist Leonaert Bramer born, 1596. The War of 1812 formally ended with the signing of the Treaty of Ghent by the United Kingdom and United States, 1814. Geologist Marguerite Williams born, 1895. The crew of Apollo 8 became the first people to enter into orbit around the Moon, 1968. Actress Heather Menzies died, 2017. Christmas Eve. Monday 25th December - Charlemagne was crowned Holy Roman Emperor, 800. English noblewoman Lettice Knollys died, 1634. Poet and diarist Dorothy Wordsworth born, 1771. A series of unofficial truces spread across the Western Front, during World War I, 1914. Author and playwright Karel Čapek died, 1938. Actress Sissy Spacek born, 1949. Christmas Day. Tuesday 26th December - Handel's opera Agrippina premiered in Venice, 1709. Charles Babbage, mathematician and inventor of the Difference Engine, born, 1791. Archaeologist Heinrich Schliemann died, 1890. Marie and Pierre Curie announced the isolation of radium, 1898. Poet Liz Lochhead born, 1947. Civil rights activist Virginia Coffey died, 2003. Boxing Day. Wren Day in Ireland and on the Isle of Man. Wednesday 27th December - Astronomer Johannes Kepler born, 1571. HMS Beagle left Plymouth carrying Charles Darwin on the voyage which would see him start to formulate his theory of evolution, 1831. Computer scientist Jean Bartik born, 1924. Architect and engineer Gustave Eiffel, co-designer of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, died, 1923. The Cave of Swallows, the largest known cave shaft in the world, was discovered in Mexico, 1966. Actress Carrie Fisher died, 2016. Thursday 28th December - Aleric II became king of the Visigoths, 484. Queen Mary II of England died, 1694. Agriculturalist Eliza Lucas born, 1789. The central section of the Tay Rail Bridge in Dundee, Scotland, collapsed with a train on it, killing 75, 1879. Actress Nichelle Nichols born, 1932. Composer Maurice Ravel died, 1937. Friday 29th December - Thomas à Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, was assassinated in his cathedral, 1170. Madame de Pompadour, mistress of King Louis XV of France, born, 1721. British soldiers under Lt Colonel Archibald Campbell captured Savannah, Georgia, during the American Revolutionary War, 1778. Scientist, author and broadcaster Magnus Pyke born, 1908. Luftwaffe firebombing caused the Second Great Fire of London during World War II, 1940. Actress Peggy Cummins died, 2017. Saturday 30th December - Buffalo, New York, was burned by British soldiers during the War of 1812. Author Rudyard Kipling born, 1865. Artist Martha Darley Mutrie died, 1885. Robert Falcon Scott's Discovery Expedition reached its Farthest South at 82o 17'S in Antarctica, 1902. Singer-songwriter Patti Smith born, 1946. Cartoonist Ronald Searle died, 2011. Sunday 31th December - Vandals, Alans and Suebi crossed the Rhine to invade Gaul, 406. Explorer Jacques Cartier born, 1491. Astronomer John Flamsteed died, 1719. Singer-songwriter Donna Summer born, 1948. The World Health Organization was informed of cases of pneumonia with an unknown cause in Wuhan, China, 2019. Actress and comedian Betty White died, 2021. New Year's Eve. Monday 1st January
- Day 1/366- Julius Caesar was posthumously deified by the Roman Senate, 42 BCE. Statesman Lorenzo de' Medici born, 1449. Composer Johann Christian Bach died, 1782. Giuseppe Piazzi discovered Ceres, the first known and largest object in the Asteroid belt, 1801. Classicist Mary Beard born, 1955. Computer scientist Grace Hopper died, 1992. New Year's Day. Public Domain Day. Tuesday 2nd January
- Day 2/366- Composer Domenico Zipoli died, 1726. English general James Wolfe born, 1727. The British Institution of Civil Engineers was founded, 1818. Model Christy Turlington born, 1969. Serial killer Peter Sutcliffe, the "Yorkshire Ripper", was arrested after one of the largest British police investigations, 1981. Actress Anne Francis died, 2011. Wednesday 3rd January
- Day 3/366- Catherine of Valois, queen consort of King Henry V of England, died, 1437. Activist Lucretia Mott born, 1793. Construction began on the Brooklyn Bridge in New York City, 1870. Writer J.R.R. Tolkien born, 1892. Alleged psychic Edgar Cayce died, 1945. Alaska was admitted as the 59th U.S. state, 1959. Thursday 4th January
- Day 4/366- Saxon ealdorman Æthelwulf was killed at the Battle of Reading, 871. King Charles I of England and an armed guard attempted to arrest five members of Parliament, suspecting they had colluded with invading Scots, only to find that they had all fled, 1642. Louis Braille, inventor of the eponymous tactile writing system for the visually impaired, born, 1809. Actress Julia Ormond born, 1965. NASA's rover Spirit landed sucessfully on Mars, 2004. Photojournalist Eve Arnold died, 2012. The Earth's perihelion, when it reaches its closest point to the Sun.
This week, an Irish toast:In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, never in want.
A selection of quotations from films containing the word 'Simon' in the title, either as a whole word or part of a word. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's 'blue' quotations were from:
- No, don't go, Buchholz, stay and watch Simon eat. It's... interesting.
- I was an extra in The Lion King and this is where I am.
- You're already a bastard. Might as well be an enlightened one.
- I have acted with octogenarians, dipsomaniacs, dope-fiends, amnesiacs, and veteran cars.
- Don't touch me! I'm a religious object!
- Ah, I was 17! I was so in love with her, I tried to die for her. Two years later I can't even remember her name. Time erases everything
-- The Big Blue [1988]- Now you see how that works? She screwed with the sharks, and now the sharks, they're screwing with us.
-- Deep Blue Sea [1999]- I looked for you in my closet tonight.
-- Blue Velvet [1986]- Now I have just one thing left to do: nothing. I want no possessions, no memories, no friends, no lovers - they're all traps.
-- Three Colours: Blue [1993]- Mr. Button, there's a barrel over here with stuff in it that smells like the Captain's breath.
-- The Blue Lagoon [1980]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
- Travellers on the New Jersey Transit railway line near Newark Penn Station found their journeys delayed by around 45 minutes earlier this week after a bull was seen on the tracks. It was sedated and safely removed to a sanctuary, but not before rather a lot of people warned others online to 'steer' clear of the service... ● Two Mitchell's lorikeets, one of the rarest and most endangered parrot species, have hatched at Chester Zoo. It is thought that there are only seven left in the wild in their natural habitat on the Indonesian islands of Bali and Lombok. ● Round-leaved byrum, a critically-endangered moss, has been found growing at the Threipmuir Reservoir near Edinburgh. Plans are afoot to reintroduce it elsewhere to prevent it from dying out. ● Fagilde's trapdoor spider, considered possibly extinct for almost 100 years has been rediscoverd in Portugal by a team from the Re:Wild charity. As part of their mating ritual the spiders 'sing' and 'tapdance' [Don't tell Ron Weasley... -Ed].
- Rocket engineers in Japan have tested a new rocket engine powered by liquid methane sourced from cow dung. The test engine was fired up for 10 seconds on a static rig and it is hoped it could lead to more sustainable rocket proppelent as dung is readily available and methane is more environmentally-friendly than conventional rocket fuel; among other things it produces less soot and fewer greenhouse gases. ● NASA has successfully streamed am ultra-high definition 15-second video of a ginger cat (called Taters) from a spacecraft 19 million miles away back to Earth using a laser. The transmission speed was faster than most broadband internet connections... ● NASA has conceded that the Osiris-Rex capsule might have brought back a smaller sample of asteroid Bennu than previously thought, although some of the sample is still stuck in the capsule under a covering they have not been able to open. ● Scientists at the Lawrence Livermpore National Laboratory in California have developed software to model how the energy from a nuclear explosion would spread through a potentially-Earth-threatening asteroid, and alter its course. The new model uses data about asteroid composition provided by recent NASA missions such as last year's Dart. While the chances of such an asteroid are rare (Hollywood movies notwithstanding), the use of a nuclear device still remains the most-likely means to deflect it away from Earth. ● The planned site for the SaxaVord Spaceport on Unst in the Shetland Islands has been approved by the Civil Aviation Authority. It will be the first spaceport in Scotland and the first in Western Europe with the capability to perform vertical launches into orbit. The first sub-orbital flight could be as soon as next year with orbital launches from 2025. ● NASA has released footage of the strongest solar flare emitted since September 2017. The flare caused radio disruption on Earth, including for aircraft pilots, across a two-hour window on Thursday last week.
- Gene scientists have used DNA from a man buried 2,000 years ago at Oxford Cluny near Cambridge during the Roman occupation of Britain to discover that he was a Sarmatian, from near the easternmost edge of the Roman empire in what is now southern Russia. A team from Durham University then examined chemical traces in his teeth to find that he had eaten millets and sorghum grains, plentiful in the Sarmatian lands until the age of six, after which he ate increasingly more wheat, grown in western Europe, suggesting that he had been brought across the empire as a child, rather than born to Sarmatian parents living within it. ● New York's Metropolitan Museum is to return 16 pieces of ancient art to Thailand and Cambodia after determining that they had been illegally looted. The artworks had been acquired from British art dealer Douglas Latchford, who was charged with operating a "vast antiquities trafficking network" across southeast Asia, in 2019. ● New warnings have been issued about the wreck of the SS Richard Montgomery, which sank in the River Thames in 1944 carrying 1,400 tonnes of explosives. Since then her three masts sticking out of the water have shown where she it, but it has long been feared that if they collapse from corrosion by the water, they could trigger an explosion which would be strong enough to send a tsunami up the river to London. New analysis has shown the masts to be more corroded than previously thought, hastening plans to remove them. ● A black, ballerina-length velvet dress worn by Diana, Princess of Wales, has set a new world record for the most expensive dress worn by the late princess, going for $1,148,080 (£904,262) at Julien's Auctions in Hollywood, California. It had been estimated at $100,000 (£78,776).
- A 31-year-old Texas man apparently hit a pedestrian hard enough with his car for the man to be thrown over the bonnet into the passenger seat, then drove for 40 miles (64km), seemingly without noticing his passenger, before passing out in a restaurant car park. Police called to reports of a man slumped over the wheel discovered "a human body with no signs of life in the passenger seat". The driver was arrested for intoxication manslaughter. ● Three armed and masked men who held up a cheque-cashing business in Colorado went to make their getaway only to find that someone had stolen their car. They were quickly arrested while trying to flee on foot. A police spokesman later said that it is possible they had earlier stolen the car themselves... ● Two men have been charged for illegally shooting more than 3,600 birds including golden and bald eagles, which are protected, in the Flathead Indian Reservation in Montana and selling their parts on the black market over the course of a years-long "killing spree". ● A judge has issued a warning about litigants using artificial intelligence (AI) systems to buttress their cases after a woman who lost an appeal against an HMRC tax demand over the sale of her house referenced nine prior cases in her arguments, none of which were genuine. As the judge commented, the American spelling in the cases - supposedly from British courts - strongly suggested they were created by an AI such as ChatGPT.
- Satellite data has suggested that the A23a iceberg, which calved from Antarctica in 1986 but only recently broke free from the sea floor where it had been caught, has an average thickness of 920' (280m). With a measured size of 1,500 square miles (3,900km2) its mass will be almost a trillion tonnes. ● Chinese electric car maker Nio has demonstrated a next-generation battery that can power a car for more than 620 miles (1,000km) on a single charge. ● Dutch housing corporation Lieven de Key is planning to trial heating 1,600 houses using warmth harvested from the sewer network. ● The British HotSat-1 satellite, designed to map heat loss from buildings, has failed in orbit six months after it was launched. A replacement will be launched in 2025. ● A large landslide at the side of Lake Garda in Italy has been caught on camera. The rocks created waves in the water and briefly disrupted traffic near Tremosine, but nobody was injured. ● More than 100 elephants have been found dead in Zimbabwe's Hwange National Park, believed to have been the victims of drought caused by the combination of climate change and the El Niño event in the Pacific which affects global weather patterns.
IN BRIEF: A four-month-old baby sucked up from a mobile home in Clarkesville, Tennessee, by a tornado was found alive on a fallen tree, with just an injury to his ear; other family members in the home at the time the tornado hit suffered broken limbs. ● A 54-year-old Japanese man who was trying to kill a cockroach in his apartment earlier this month sprayed so much insecticide that the resulting explosion sparked by his kotatsu (a heating table), blew out the balcony window. He suffered minor injuries. The condition of the cockroach was not reported... ● The World Pie Eating championships have taken place at Harry's Bar in Wigan, after a row over health and safety rules concerning speed eating saw competitors be allowed water during the competition, and almost saw the beef and potato pies replaced with chicken over concerns about flatulence; a technicality meant that the original pies had to be used after all. Ian Coulton, 48, won, eating the first of two pies in 37.4s and the second in 44.9s. Five-times winner Martin Appleton-Clare placed second. ● In 2017 11-year-old Alex Batty disappeared along with his mother and grandfather while on holiday in France. His grandmother, who is his legal guardian, believed they had taken him to live in a spiritual community in Morocco. This week he reappeared near Toulouse, where a driver found him walking along a remote road late at night, offered him a lift to a police station and allowed him to call his grandmother on their mobile phone. It is thought that Alex had left his mother after she told him she planned to relocate to Finland, his grandfather having died in the intervening years. Alex, now 17, has been brought back to his grandmother in Britain and has counsellors assisting his return to British society.
Crimbo Curiosities: In 1920 8-year-old Dorothy Grant was given an artificial Christmas tree, which stood at 31" (79cm) including its base and had just 25 branches. Still in good condition it was recently sold at auction by her daughter (Dorothy having died in 2014 at the age of 101), with an estimated price of £60-£80; ($76-$101); it sold for £2,600 ($3,300). ● A pantomime in Cheltenham has had to have one of its songs rewritten after complaints that it was offensive to vegans, including a line that the 'g' in 'vegan' stands for 'gassy' and the 'a' for 'annoying' or 'anaemic'. ● German climate protest group Last Generation, funding by the same body as Just Stop Oil in the UK, has spray-painted public Christmas trees across the country orange to protest the lack of progress at the COP28 climate talks in Dubai. ● Gabriel Noronha, who served in the US State Department under the twice-indicted, facing-more-than-90-charges, banned-from-standing-as-potential-Republican-presidential-candidate-in-Colorado former guy, took to
UPDATES: The volcano on the Reykjanes peninsula in Iceland is finally erupting, although it is not expected to cause disruption to aircraft across Northern Europe, as the Eyjafjallajökull eruption did in 2010 because it should not produce as much ash, not being covered by an ice cap, although there are warnings of dangerous air pollution drifting towards Rekjavik.
Drummer Colin Burgess (original drummer with AC/DC, The Masters Apprentices, 77), actor Steve Halliwell (Emmerdale, Heartbeat, Coronation Street, 77), actress and tap dancer Maureen 'Mo' Moreland (The Roly Polys, The Les Dawson Show, Coronation Street, 87).
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DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:5, 24, 29, 36, 54, 58[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.
Little Jennifer's parents had placed an elf on the shelf in the living room to encourage their daughter to be good in the run-up to Christmas. They were all sitting watching a film one night, and Little Jennifer had a glass of milk and some biscuits on a plate. While she was engrossed in the film her father reached over and took one of her biscuits, winking at his wife as he did so. Little Jennifer's head span round to stare at him and she pouted as only she could, then she looked up at the elf and said, "You saw that, didn't you? Daddy's on the naughty list!"
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