The Friday Irregular

Issue #747 - 22nd December 2023


Edited by and copyright ©2023 Simon Lamont
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tfir@simonlamont.co.uk

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Unless otherwise indicated dollar values are in US dollars. Currency conversions are at current rates at time of writing and may be rounded.
The Friday Irregular uses Common Era year notation.

CONTENTS



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O

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^ WORD OF THE WEEK

confelicity
  n. joy in the happiness of others

^ FROM THE EDITOR'S DESK

This is the final issue for 2023. We wish you happy times and will be back on January 5th.


^ ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 22nd December   -   The English Anarchy civil war began with the private coronation of Stephen of Blois as King of England, 1135. Stage magician and inventor John Nevil Maskelyne born, 1839. Novelist George Eliot died, 1880. The SR-71 Blackbird made its first test flight, from Air Force Plant 42 in Palmdale, California, 1964. Journalist and broadcaster Richard Dimbleby died, 1965. Singer-songwriter and actress Vanessa Paradis born, 1972. The winter solstice in the Northern hemisphere and summer solstice in the Southern hemisphere.
 
Saturday 23rd December   -   Artist Barbara Longhi died, 1638. Philologist Jean-François Champollion, decipherer of the Rosetta Stone, born, 1790. Jane Austen's novel Emma was published, 1815. Pilot, engineer and aircraft designer Anthony Fokker died, 1939. Poet Carol Ann Duffy born, 1955. The North Tower of the World Trade Center in New York City was topped out at 1,368' (417m), then the tallest building in the world, 1970. Tom Bawcock's Eve in Mousehole, Cornwall. Festivus (Seinfeld). HumanLight (US secular humanism).
 
Sunday 24th December   -   Explorer Vasco da Gama died, 1524. Artist Leonaert Bramer born, 1596. The War of 1812 formally ended with the signing of the Treaty of Ghent by the United Kingdom and United States, 1814. Geologist Marguerite Williams born, 1895. The crew of Apollo 8 became the first people to enter into orbit around the Moon, 1968. Actress Heather Menzies died, 2017. Christmas Eve.
 
Monday 25th December   -   Charlemagne was crowned Holy Roman Emperor, 800. English noblewoman Lettice Knollys died, 1634. Poet and diarist Dorothy Wordsworth born, 1771. A series of unofficial truces spread across the Western Front, during World War I, 1914. Author and playwright Karel Čapek died, 1938. Actress Sissy Spacek born, 1949. Christmas Day.
 
Tuesday 26th December   -   Handel's opera Agrippina premiered in Venice, 1709. Charles Babbage, mathematician and inventor of the Difference Engine, born, 1791. Archaeologist Heinrich Schliemann died, 1890. Marie and Pierre Curie announced the isolation of radium, 1898. Poet Liz Lochhead born, 1947. Civil rights activist Virginia Coffey died, 2003. Boxing Day. Wren Day in Ireland and on the Isle of Man.
 
Wednesday 27th December   -   Astronomer Johannes Kepler born, 1571. HMS Beagle left Plymouth carrying Charles Darwin on the voyage which would see him start to formulate his theory of evolution, 1831. Computer scientist Jean Bartik born, 1924. Architect and engineer Gustave Eiffel, co-designer of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, died, 1923. The Cave of Swallows, the largest known cave shaft in the world, was discovered in Mexico, 1966. Actress Carrie Fisher died, 2016.
 
Thursday 28th December   -   Aleric II became king of the Visigoths, 484. Queen Mary II of England died, 1694. Agriculturalist Eliza Lucas born, 1789. The central section of the Tay Rail Bridge in Dundee, Scotland, collapsed with a train on it, killing 75, 1879. Actress Nichelle Nichols born, 1932. Composer Maurice Ravel died, 1937.
 
Friday 29th December   -   Thomas à Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, was assassinated in his cathedral, 1170. Madame de Pompadour, mistress of King Louis XV of France, born, 1721. British soldiers under Lt Colonel Archibald Campbell captured Savannah, Georgia, during the American Revolutionary War, 1778. Scientist, author and broadcaster Magnus Pyke born, 1908. Luftwaffe firebombing caused the Second Great Fire of London during World War II, 1940. Actress Peggy Cummins died, 2017.
 
Saturday 30th December   -   Buffalo, New York, was burned by British soldiers during the War of 1812. Author Rudyard Kipling born, 1865. Artist Martha Darley Mutrie died, 1885. Robert Falcon Scott's Discovery Expedition reached its Farthest South at 82o 17'S in Antarctica, 1902. Singer-songwriter Patti Smith born, 1946. Cartoonist Ronald Searle died, 2011.
 
Sunday 31th December   -   Vandals, Alans and Suebi crossed the Rhine to invade Gaul, 406. Explorer Jacques Cartier born, 1491. Astronomer John Flamsteed died, 1719. Singer-songwriter Donna Summer born, 1948. The World Health Organization was informed of cases of pneumonia with an unknown cause in Wuhan, China, 2019. Actress and comedian Betty White died, 2021. New Year's Eve.
 
Monday 1st January
    - Day 1/366
  -   Julius Caesar was posthumously deified by the Roman Senate, 42 BCE. Statesman Lorenzo de' Medici born, 1449. Composer Johann Christian Bach died, 1782. Giuseppe Piazzi discovered Ceres, the first known and largest object in the Asteroid belt, 1801. Classicist Mary Beard born, 1955. Computer scientist Grace Hopper died, 1992. New Year's Day. Public Domain Day.
 
Tuesday 2nd January
    - Day 2/366
  -   Composer Domenico Zipoli died, 1726. English general James Wolfe born, 1727. The British Institution of Civil Engineers was founded, 1818. Model Christy Turlington born, 1969. Serial killer Peter Sutcliffe, the "Yorkshire Ripper", was arrested after one of the largest British police investigations, 1981. Actress Anne Francis died, 2011.
 
Wednesday 3rd January
    - Day 3/366
  -   Catherine of Valois, queen consort of King Henry V of England, died, 1437. Activist Lucretia Mott born, 1793. Construction began on the Brooklyn Bridge in New York City, 1870. Writer J.R.R. Tolkien born, 1892. Alleged psychic Edgar Cayce died, 1945. Alaska was admitted as the 59th U.S. state, 1959.
 
Thursday 4th January
    - Day 4/366
  -   Saxon ealdorman Æthelwulf was killed at the Battle of Reading, 871. King Charles I of England and an armed guard attempted to arrest five members of Parliament, suspecting they had colluded with invading Scots, only to find that they had all fled, 1642. Louis Braille, inventor of the eponymous tactile writing system for the visually impaired, born, 1809. Actress Julia Ormond born, 1965. NASA's rover Spirit landed sucessfully on Mars, 2004. Photojournalist Eve Arnold died, 2012. The Earth's perihelion, when it reaches its closest point to the Sun.


^ THE WISDOM OF...

This week, an Irish toast:
In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, never in want.


^ FILM QUIZ

A selection of quotations from films containing the word 'Simon' in the title, either as a whole word or part of a word. Answers next issue or from the regular address. Last issue's 'blue' quotations were from:


^ WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

IN BRIEF: A four-month-old baby sucked up from a mobile home in Clarkesville, Tennessee, by a tornado was found alive on a fallen tree, with just an injury to his ear; other family members in the home at the time the tornado hit suffered broken limbs. ● A 54-year-old Japanese man who was trying to kill a cockroach in his apartment earlier this month sprayed so much insecticide that the resulting explosion sparked by his kotatsu (a heating table), blew out the balcony window. He suffered minor injuries. The condition of the cockroach was not reported... ● The World Pie Eating championships have taken place at Harry's Bar in Wigan, after a row over health and safety rules concerning speed eating saw competitors be allowed water during the competition, and almost saw the beef and potato pies replaced with chicken over concerns about flatulence; a technicality meant that the original pies had to be used after all. Ian Coulton, 48, won, eating the first of two pies in 37.4s and the second in 44.9s. Five-times winner Martin Appleton-Clare placed second. ● In 2017 11-year-old Alex Batty disappeared along with his mother and grandfather while on holiday in France. His grandmother, who is his legal guardian, believed they had taken him to live in a spiritual community in Morocco. This week he reappeared near Toulouse, where a driver found him walking along a remote road late at night, offered him a lift to a police station and allowed him to call his grandmother on their mobile phone. It is thought that Alex had left his mother after she told him she planned to relocate to Finland, his grandfather having died in the intervening years. Alex, now 17, has been brought back to his grandmother in Britain and has counsellors assisting his return to British society.

Crimbo Curiosities: In 1920 8-year-old Dorothy Grant was given an artificial Christmas tree, which stood at 31" (79cm) including its base and had just 25 branches. Still in good condition it was recently sold at auction by her daughter (Dorothy having died in 2014 at the age of 101), with an estimated price of £60-£80; ($76-$101); it sold for £2,600 ($3,300). ● A pantomime in Cheltenham has had to have one of its songs rewritten after complaints that it was offensive to vegans, including a line that the 'g' in 'vegan' stands for 'gassy' and the 'a' for 'annoying' or 'anaemic'. ● German climate protest group Last Generation, funding by the same body as Just Stop Oil in the UK, has spray-painted public Christmas trees across the country orange to protest the lack of progress at the COP28 climate talks in Dubai. ● Gabriel Noronha, who served in the US State Department under the twice-indicted, facing-more-than-90-charges, banned-from-standing-as-potential-Republican-presidential-candidate-in-Colorado former guy, took to TwitterX last weekend to complain that The Washington Post building's spires were lit in the colour of the Palestinian flag, and on the night of the Jewish festival of Hanukkah, no less. As many, many people told him, red and green are the traditional Christmas colours and have been used to illuminate the spires during the festive period for years... ● A family in Lexington, Kentucky, had had their Christmas tree standing in their living room for four days before a man cleaning their carpet noticed something unusual. There was a baby owl sitting in the tree. He managed to get the owl out and safely released it in their backyard. ● The Merriam-Webster dictionary has posted on TwitterX some quandries regarding the names of Santa's reindeer. Leaving Rudolph aside, there are Dancer, Dasher and Prancer, which are fair enough, but Vixen? A "female fox" or "shrewish, ill-tempered woman" or a "sexually attractive woman"? "Ummm, what's going on here, Santa?" they asked. Comet? Well, it's something that flies, so that's reasonable enough. Cupid? The Roman god of love? "We're drifting back into 'Vixen-territory'"... As for Donner and Blitzen, based on the Dutch words for 'thunder' and 'lightning', well "we've always thought these two were the bad boys of the sleigh". ● Speaking of reindeer, scientists at the University of St Andrews in Sotland and Dartmouth College, New Hampshire, have been investigating why reindeers' eyes change colour depending on the season. It turns out that they have a special form of night vision, detecting ultraviolet light better in the darker Winter months when their eyes have changed from gold to blue. So that's how they navigate from roof to roof at night... ● Matt Facer, DJ at Northampton Town soccer club, has apologised for playing Wham's "Last Christmas" during half-time on December 2nd, potentially knocking more than 7,000 people out of the Whamageddon game, which involves trying to avoid hearing the song (original version only; covers are OK) for as long as possible before Christmas Eve [It is early evening on December 20th as I write this and I still have not heard it... -Ed]. ● A TikTokker recently posted a photo of a burned Victoria's Secret 'Glow Waffle' Honey Joggers set her husband had bought her for Christmas, explaining that "when your husband thinks a good hiding place for your Christmas gifts is the oven..."

UPDATES: The volcano on the Reykjanes peninsula in Iceland is finally erupting, although it is not expected to cause disruption to aircraft across Northern Europe, as the Eyjafjallajökull eruption did in 2010 because it should not produce as much ash, not being covered by an ice cap, although there are warnings of dangerous air pollution drifting towards Rekjavik.


^ OBITUARIES

Drummer Colin Burgess (original drummer with AC/DC, The Masters Apprentices, 77), actor Steve Halliwell (Emmerdale, Heartbeat, Coronation Street, 77), actress and tap dancer Maureen 'Mo' Moreland (The Roly Polys, The Les Dawson Show, Coronation Street, 87).


^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:
5, 24, 29, 36, 54, 58
[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.


^ AND FINALLY...

    Little Jennifer's parents had placed an elf on the shelf in the living room to encourage their daughter to be good in the run-up to Christmas. They were all sitting watching a film one night, and Little Jennifer had a glass of milk and some biscuits on a plate. While she was engrossed in the film her father reached over and took one of her biscuits, winking at his wife as he did so. Little Jennifer's head span round to stare at him and she pouted as only she could, then she looked up at the elf and said, "You saw that, didn't you? Daddy's on the naughty list!"


^ ...end of line