Issue ^#766 - 10^th May 2024

Edited by and copyright ©2024 Simon Lamont
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Unless otherwise indicated dollar values are in US dollars. Currency conversions are at current rates at time of writing and may be rounded.
The Friday Irregular uses Common Era year notation.

^{^} ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 10th May     - Day 131/366		-		Han dynasty astronomers made one of the earliest dated observations of sunspots, 28 BCE. Engineer and physicist Augustin-Jean Fresnel born, 1788. London's National Gallery opened to the public, 1824. Artist Hokusai died, 1849. Composer Debbie Wiseman born, 1963. Actress Joan Crawford died, 1977.
Saturday 11th May     - Day 132/366		-		The earliest-known dated printed book, a copy of the Diamond Sūtra, was published, 868. Spencer Perceval, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, was assassinated, 1812. Pioneer aviator Harriet Quimby born, 1875. Journalist, writer and broadcaster Jeremy Paxman born, 1950. The Bradford City stadium fire killed 56 spectators and injured more than 200, 1985. Actress and model Peggy Lipton died, 2019.
Sunday 12th May     - Day 133/366		-		Cosimo II de' Medici, Grand Duke of Tuscany, born, 1590. Playwright Thomas Kyd was arrested and tortured for libel, 1593. Poet and playwright John Dryden died, 1700. Nursing pioneer and social reformer Florence Nightingale born, 1820. The Soviet Union lifted its blockade of Berlin, 1949. Doctor Agnes Forbes Blackadder, the first female graduate from the University of St Andrews, died, 1964. International Nurses Day. International ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia Awareness Day.
Monday 13th May     - Day 134/366		-		Mary Stewart, Countess of Arran, born, 1453. Architect John Nash died, 1835. The United States declared war on the Federal Republic of Mexico, 1846. Trevor Baylis, inventor of the wind-up radio, born, 1937. Students occupying Tiananmen Square in Beijing began a hunger strike, 1989. Actress and singer Margot Kidder died, 2018.
Tuesday 14th May     - Day 135/366		-		King Henry III of England was captured at the Battle of Lewes and forced to sign the Mise of Lewes, making Simon de Montfort the effective ruler of the country, 1264. Artist Thomas Gainsborough born, 1727. Edward Jenner administered the first smallpox innoculation, 1796. Nurse Mary Seacole died, 1881. Poet and singer-songwriter Anne Clark born, 1960. Singer and actor Frank Sinatra died, 1998. Internet celebrity Tardar Sauce, aka Grumpy Cat, died, 2019. Dylan Thomas Day.
Wednesday 15th May     - Day 136/366		-		Astronomer Johannes Kepler confirmed his previously-rejected third law of planetary motion, 1618. George Jeffreys, 1st Baron Jeffreys, "the Hanging Judge", born, 1645. Poet Emily Dickinson died, 1886. The first McDonald's restaurant opened, in San Bernardino, California, 1940. Journalist and broadcaster Sophie Raworth born, 1968. Actor Ronald Lacey died, 1991. International Conscientious Objectors Day. International Day of Families (UN).
Thursday 16th May     - Day 137/366		-		Mary, Queen of Scots fled to England, 1568. Economist Dudley North born, 1641. Writer Charles Perrault, whose work formed the basis of the modern 'fairy tale' genre, died, 1703. RAF Bomber Command carried out Operation Chastise, commonly known as the Dambusters Raid, 1943. Singer-songwriter Hazel O'Connor born, 1955. Actress Margaret Hamilton died, 1985.

^{^} THE WISDOM OF...

This week, Frank Sinatra:

You've gotta love livin', baby, because dyin' is a pain in the ass.

^{^} FILM QUIZ

A selection of quotations from films containing the word 'wood' in the title, either as a whole word or part of a word. Answers next issue or from the regular address.

• [sung] Do not put your faith in a cape and a hood, they will not protect you the way that they should. And take extra care with strangers, even flowers have their dangers, and though scary is exciting, nice is different than good.
• The warning that I received, you may take with however many grains of salt you wish, that the brown acid that is circulating around us, is specifically not too good. It's suggested that you do stay away from that; of course, it's your own trip, so, be my guest. But, please be advised that there is a warning on that one.
• This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in. Your selection is quite shoddy. You are wasting my time.
• Something awful happened here. I can feel it. Something awful.
• Oh! Come and get me, Mr Anybody!

Last issue's 'may' quotations were from:

• I don't think we have enough hot dogs.
      -- May December [2023]
• - Our dad's definitely not a giant rat.
  - That makes me think he is a rat.
      -- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem [2023]
• A whole family lost to car crashes. Enough to make a person buy a bike.
      -- What Dreams May Come [1998]
• Woolly thinking is for sheep; the fox gets the cream!
      -- Maybe Baby [2000]
• I'll make you two promises: a very good steak, medium rare, and the truth, which is very rare.
      -- Seven Days in May [1964]

^{^} WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

• A hoopoe, a small crested bird which migrates from Africa to continental Europe every year has been seen in a garden in Bridgham, Norfolk. It is thought that it overshot its flightpath. ● A wild orangutan in Indonesia has been seen self-medicating by applying a paste made from a chewed-up plant to a wound on its face; the wound had healed without any signs of infection within a month. It is the first time an animal in the wild has been recorded using a medicinal plant to treat a wound. Scientists speculate that the behaviour could come from the common ancestor of humans and apes. ● A group of four zebras being moved from Washington State to Montana last weekend escaped from their truck near North Bend, WA. Three of them conveniently wandered into a horse paddock within hours and were recaptured but the fourth was still reported missing after several days. Meanwhile local wags have taken to posting pictures of Bigfoot riding the zebra on social media...


• Italian scientists have suggested that astronauts stationed on the Moon could keep fit by running on a "wall of death", a circular near-perpendicular wall that was once a staple of fairgrounds where a motorbike would be ridden on it, the centripetal force and friction stopping the bike from falling. With less gravity on the moon, the scientists say, it should be possible to run on the wall. To test their idea they built a 30'- (9.4m)-wide cylindrical wall and had two volunteers, attached to bungees to mimic lunar gravity, run it. ● As well as the Moon there are around 200,000 'near-Earth' asteroids (NEAs) with similar orbits to Earth, including once called 469219 Kamo'oalewa which orbits the Sun in sync with the Earth. It is between 131 and 328' (40-100m) in size and rotates once every 28 minutes. While most NEAs are thought to have come from the Main Asteroid Belt between Mars and Jupiter new spectral analysis of Kamo'oalewa suggests that it originated from a massive impact on the far side of the Moon, most likely the one that formed the Giordano Bruno crater. Next year China will launch the Tianwen-2 probe to retrieve a sample from Kamo'oalewa which may confirm its lunar origins.


• A fragile flattened 75,000-year-old skull of a Neanderthal found in Iraqi Kurdistan in 2015 has been carefully strenthened and pieced back together by paleoanthropologists. While the gender could not be determined from the remaining skeletal bones as the pelvis was missing analysis of proteins in the tooth enamel suggested that the skull was that of a woman. Forensic experts then scanned the skull and recreated her head in a 3D model. ● Stonehenge on Salisbury Plain is well known for being aligned with the Sun, but a rare cosmic event will enable researchers to test theories that it is also aligned to the Moon. Every 18.6 years the Moon rises and sets further north and south on the horizon than usual and reaches altitudes higher than the summer Sun and lower than the winter Sun, in a "major lunar standstill". Researchers believe that 56 pits in a circle and four station stones which form a rectangle around the henge could align with the Moon during the event. ● New analysis of medieval human and red squirrel bones has found closely-related strains of the bacteria which causes leprosy in both. It is not known if squirrels passed the disease to humans or if it went in the other direction, but squirrel fur was widely worn and squirrels were often kept as pets. Today armadillos and some red squirrels are known to carry the disease but the risk of it being transmitted to humans is considered very low. ● A privately-held collection of more than 100 gold coins, including ones from the reigns of George III, George IV, William IV and Queen Victoria, as well as Napoleonic and early-C20^th American examples, is to be auctioned later this month with a valuation of more than £40,000 ($49,900).


• Over the last two years more than 170 rare Russian books have been stolen from European libraries. Thieves posing as researchers were given access to libraries' collections and either photographed the books' covers and bindings to create detailed forgeries that were then swapped with the originals on later visits, or they broke in to the libraries when they were closed. The thieves became known as the "Pushkin gang" because many of the volumes stolen were works by the C19^th writer Alexander Pushkin, considered the founder of modern Russian literature. Last month police arrested nine Georgians and other suspects in France, Estonia and Lithuania. Most of the stolen books are thought to have been sold on the black market in Russia. ● Two teenagers on spring break in Florida who were filmed dumping rubbish into the sea from their boat have turned themselves in to police to face third-degree felony charges for pollution after the footage went viral online. They face a maximum penalty of five years in prison and a $50,000 (£40,000) fine. ● A Catholic priest in Pennsylvania has been arrested for allegedly spending $40,000 (£32,000) of church funds on mobile gaming, buying in-app purchases such as power-ups on iOS games including Candy Crush and Mario Kart Tour, as well as buying a backpack, Amazon Fire tablet and a children's chemistry set for his goddaughter. ● Christopher Stultz, 49, a US military veteran, has been sentenced to 18 months in prison and a $662,870 (£531,330) restitution payment after admitting in court that he had faked being unable to walk for more than 20 years to claim hundreds of thousands of dollars in disability benefits. Stultz was honorably discharged from the US Navy a year after enlisting in 1995 after suffering a spinal cord injury falling from a horse, at which point he was rated as partially disabled by the US Department of Veteran Affairs but in 2003 he claimed that he could no longer use his feet and was reassessed as 100% disabled with increased monthly benefits and additional funding for adapted cars - which prosecutors said he had never used and sold for cash.


• The European Copernicus Climate Service has reported that the world's oceans have broken temperature records every single day over the past year, with almost 50 days seeing records broken by the largest margin since satellite monitoring began. The warming is due to a combination of greenhouse gas emissions and the natural El Niño event. Last month was also the warmest April on record for air temperatures, extending the run of monthly records to 11 in a row. ● Scientists at a new £3m ($3.74m) laboratory facility at the University of Essex are working to develop climate-resilient plants to ensure food security as the world continues to warm. The Smart Technology Experimental Plant Suite (STEPS) has an enclosed commercial-standard vertical farm where CO₂ levels can be adjusted and will use robots and AI to monitor plant growth. ● Researchers are blaming the influx of tourists to the Lake District for algal blooming on Lake Windermere, as increased sewage discharges - even of treated water - during tourist season are still high in nutrients, specifically phosphorus. Algal blooms, which turn the normally clear waters green and toxic reduce oxygen levels in the water leading to fish and other aquatic lifeforms dying.

IN BRIEF: "Father Justin", an AI priest chatbot introduced by the Catholic Answers advocacy group, has been hastily withdrawn from their website and defrocked to be rebranded as just 'Justin' ahead of being relaunched. Among other things 'he' told one questioner who asked for his blessing to marry her brother that it would be "a joyous occasion" and offered absolution after confession to another user, something a non-priest cannot do. ● North Yorkshire Council found itself widely mocked this week after announcing that it would no longer include apostrophes in street names because of problems with geographical databases. A least one person has reacted by going out at night and adding them back to road signs with a marker pen... ● The Garrick Club, a private men's club founded in London's West End in 1831 has voted to allow women to join. ● Harlech Tower, a residential tower block in Ealing, London, built after the Second World War, is to be demolished after falling into disrepair. It became famous after being used as the exterior location for 'Nelson Mandela Tower', the residence of the Trotter family in the BBC sitcom Only Fools and Horses which ran from 1981 to 1991 followed by occasional specials until 2003 then spin-off series and a stage show. ● Scientists at the University of Manchester have created highly purified silicon which could enable the construction of reliable large-scale quantum computers. ● Researchers at Hokkaido University in Japan have found a way to make batteries cheaper and capable of holding more charge by adding small amounts of easily-available elements such as silicon, aluminium, phosphorus and sulfur to the structure of a battery's cathode (negative terminal).

UPDATES: The first crewed launch of Boeing's Starliner spacecraft was scrubbed for a safety check on an oxygen relief valve two hours before it was due to blast off earlier this week. A new launch attempt could be made as soon as this Friday (10^th).

^{^} OBITUARIES

Actress Susan Buckner (Grease, Deadly Blessing, The Brady Bunch Variety Hour, 72), actor Ian Gelder (Torchwood, His Dark Materials, Game of Thrones, 74), golfer and broadcaster Peter Oosterhuis (1 PGA Tour win, 27 other wins, CBS Sports, 75), musician Richard Tandy (Electric Light Orchestra/Jeff Lynne's ELO, US Rock and Roll Hall of Fame [2017 inductee], 76), actor Bernard Hill (Boys From the Blackstuff, Titanic, The Lord of the Rings, 79), stuntwoman Jeannie Epper (Wonder Woman [TV 1975-79], Romancing the Stone, Dynasty, 83), guitarist Duane Eddy (the 'King of Twang', "Peter Gunn", Rock and Roll Hall of Fame [1994 inductee], 86).

^{^} DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:

4, 6, 10, 13, 17, 51

[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.

^{^} AND FINALLY...

    The teacher was introducing the class to the basics of life and growing up. "Now, class," she said, "right now you are all children, but when you grow up and finish your basic education you will be young adults and then a few years later adults. Can anyone tell me what you were before you started school?"
    Little Simon and Little Jennifer raised their hands. "Yes, Little Simon?"
    "Babies, Miss!"
    "Quite right! Little Jennifer, do you have something to add?"
    Little Jennifer smiled as only she could. "I was going to say that before I started school I was happy, Miss!"

---

^{^} ...end of line