Issue ^#798 - 20^th December 2024

Edited by and copyright ©2024 Simon Lamont
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tfir@simonlamont.co.uk

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Unless otherwise indicated dollar values are in U.S. dollars. Currency conversions are at current rates at time of writing and may be rounded.
The Friday Irregular uses Common Era year notation.

^{^} FROM THE EDITOR'S DESK

We are taking next week off, so TFIr ^#799 will be released on January 2^nd. Happy holidays!

^{^} ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 20th December     - Day 355/366		-		King Richard I of England, returning home from the Third Crusade, was captured and imprisoned by Leopold V of Austria, 1192. Mathematician, cartographer and illustrator Oronce Fine born, 1494. Explorer Sacagawea died, 1812. Frank Capra's film It's a Wonderful Life premiered in New York City, 1946. Actress Jenny Agutter born, 1952. Controversial social psychologist Stanley Milgram died, 1984. International Human Solidarity Day (United Nations).
Saturday 21st December     - Day 356/366		-		Poet Giovanni Boccaccio died, 1375. Artist Masaccio born, 1401. The Mayflower Pilgrims landed near what is now called Plymouth Rock, 1620. Sprinter Florence Griffith Joyner born, 1959. A bomb aboard Pan Am Flight 103 exploded over Lockerbie, Scotland, 1988. Actress Billie Whitelaw died, 2014. The Winter solstice in the Northern Hemisphere and the Summer solstice in the Southern Hemisphere.
Sunday 22nd December     - Day 357/366		-		Roman emperor Diocletian born, 244. The English Anarchy began with the coronation of Stephen of Blois as King, 1135. Writer George Eliot died, 1880. Television producer Roberta Leigh born, 1926. The SR-71 Blackbird made its first test flight, in California, 1964. Singer-songwriter Joe Cocker died, 2014.
Monday 23th December     - Day 358/366		-		Dagobert II, king of the Franks, died, 679 [traditional date]. Scholar and diplomat Thomas Smith born, 1513. The deposed King James II of England fled to France, 1688. Poet Carol Ann Duffy born, 1955. The North Tower of the World Trade Center in New York City was topped out at 1,368' (417m), making it the then-tallest building in the world, 1970. Art collector Peggy Guggenheim died, 1979. Tom Bawcock's Eve in Mousehole, Cornwall. HumanLight (Humanist).
Tuesday 24th December     - Day 359/366		-		John, King of England, born, 1166. The Castle of St George on Cephalonia was captured after a siege by a joint Venetian-Spanish fleet, 1500. Explorer and politician Vasco da Gama died, 1524. Actress and aviator Ruth Chatterton born, 1892. The "Christmas truce" during World War I began, 1914. Writer Elizabeth Beresford died, 2010. Christmas Eve and related observances. Quviasukvik (New Year) in Inuit territories.
Wednesday 25th December     - Day 360/366		-		The coronation of William the Conqueror, Duke of Normandy, as King of England, 1066. English noblewoman Lettice Knollys died, 1634. Physicist and polymath Sir Isaac Newton born, 1642. Astronomer Johann Georg Palitzsch sighted Halley's Comet, confirming Edmund Halley's prediction of its passage, 1758. Actress and model Evelyn Nesbit born, 1884 (or 1885). Singer-songwriter George Michael died, 2016. Christmas Day and related observances.
Thursday 26th December     - Day 361/366		-		Poet Thomas Grey born, 1716. The Continental Army under Washington defeated a garrison of Hessian soldiers serving Great Britain in the Battle of Trenton, during the American Revolutionary War, 1776. Artist Ragnhild Kaarbø born, 1889. Archaeologist Heinrish Schliemann died, 1890. The first reports of unexplained lights near the USAF-stationed RAF Woodbridge in Rendlesham Forest, England, were made, 1980. Civil rights activist Virginia Coffey died, 2003. Boxing Day and related observances in the Commonwealth of Nations. Mummer's Day in Padstow, Cornwall. Wren Day in Ireland and on the Isle of Man.
Friday 27th December     - Day 362/366		-		Astronomer and mathematician Johannes Kepler born, 1571. Portugal and England signed the Methuen Treaty, concerning the export of wines from Portugal to England and textiles in the other direction, 1703. Artist Hyacinthe Rigaud died, 1743. Writer Mary Howard born, 1907. The Romanian Revolution ended in Bucharest, 1989. Actress, screenwriter and producer Carrie Fisher died, 2016.
Saturday 28th December     - Day 363/366		-		Majorian was formally declared Western Roman Emperor, 457. Historian, poet and politician Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay, died, 1859. Filmmaker F.W. Murnau born, 1888. The central section of the Tay Rail Bridge in Dundee, Scotland, collapsed as a train crossed it, 1879. Actress Maggie Smith born, 1934. Writer Susan Sontag died, 2004.
Sunday 29th December     - Day 364/366		-		Jeanne Poisson, Madame de Pompadour, mistress of King Louis XV of France, born, 1721. British forces captured Savannah, Georgia, during the American Revolutionary War, 1778. Poet Christina Rossetti died, 1894. Scientist, broadcaster and author Magnus Pyke born, 1908. Luftwaffe fire-bombs during World War II caused the Second Great Fire of London, 1940. Actor, comedian and game show host Bob Monkhouse died, 2003.
Monday 30th December     - Day 365/366		-		Geologist and mining engineer John Milne born, 1850. Montreal Victorias ice hockey player Ernie McLea scored the first hat trick in Stanley Cup play, against the Winnipeg Victorias, 1896. Suffragist and social reformer Josephine Butler died, 1906. Singer-songwriter Patti Smith born, 1946. The American strategic bombing campaign Operation Linebacker II in the Vietnam War, ended, 1972. Cartoonist Ronald Searle died, 2011.
Tuesday 31st December     - Day 366/366		-		Explorer Jacques Cartier born, 1491. The First Battle of Cannanore between Portugal and Calicut saw the first use of the naval line of battle, 1501. Chemist and physicist Robert Boyle died, 1691. Queen Kapiolani of Hawai'i born, 1834. Thomas Edison gave the first public demonstration of incandescent lighting, 1879. Singer-songwriter Natalie Cole died, 2015. New Year's Eve and related observances. The first day of Hogmanay (Scotland and Scottish communities).
Wednesday 1st January 2025     - Day 1/365		-		Julius Caesar was posthumously deified by the Roman Senate, 42 BCE. Seamstress and flag-maker Betsy Ross born, 1752. Mary Shelley's Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus, was published, 1818. Physicist Heinrich Hertz died, 1894. Singer-songwriter Country Joe McDonald born, 1942. Actress Donna Douglas died, 2015. New Year's Day and related observances. The second day of Hogmanay (Scotland and Scottish communities). Emancipation Day (United States). Public Domain Day (various countries).
Thursday 2nd January     - Day 2/365		-		The Alemanni crossed the frozen Rhine to invade the Roman Empire, 366. Artist Piero di Cosimo born, 1462. Mathematician and Astronomer Royal (1835-1881) George Biddell Airy died, 1892. Model Paula Hamilton born, 1961. Serial killer Peter Sutcliffe, the "Yorkshire Ripper", was arrested by British police, 1981. Actress Anne Francis died, 2011.

^{^} THE WISDOM OF...

This week, Charles Dickens, in A Christmas Carol:

"If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart."

^{^} FILM QUIZ

A selection of quotations from films containing the word 'Christmas' in the title, either as a whole word or part of a word. Answers next issue or from the regular address.

• Next to me in the blackness lay my oiled blue steel beauty. The greatest Christmas gift I had ever received, or would ever receive. Gradually, I drifted off to sleep, pranging ducks on the wing and getting off spectacular hip shots.
• Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny ****ing Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.
• - I fell down the chimney and landed on a flaming hot goose!
  - You have all the fun!
• - Last night, she couldn't sleep; today, she won't eat: she's in love.
  - Well, if that's love, somebody goofed.
• - That's twice this month you've slipped deadly nightshade into my tea and run off.
  - Three times!

Last issue's 'monster' quotations were from:

• Saw a dinosaur in a museum one time. It wasn't that big.
      -- Monster Hunter [2020]
• Abominable. Can you believe that? Do I look abominable to you? Why can't they call me the Adorable Snowman, or the Agreeable Snowman, for crying out loud? I'm a nice guy. Snow cone?
      -- Monsters, Inc. [2001]
• I was beautiful like a diamond in the rough.
      -- Monster [2003]
• I thought you were dead, but evil doesn't die so easily.
      -- Monster-in-Law [2005]
• Chowder, your ball just landed on Nebbercracker's lawn. It doesn't exist anymore...
      -- Monster House [2006]

^{^} WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

• Musician and forager Alissimon Minnitt, 27, has revealed that while on a walk with her father in a field near Winslow, Buckinghamshire, she discovered an 11lb (5kg) puffball mushroom. "It fed my family for a week... [..] I still have three slices left in my freezer. I'll be honest - I'm a little bit sick of it", she told reporters. [Please do not pick wild mushrooms to eat unless you know they are safe to consume. -Ed] ● Dr Julie Oswald, from the University of St Andrews' Scottish Oceans Institute has developed an AI system dubbed the Real-time Odontocete Call Classification Algorithm (Rocca) to track dolphins based on their regional accents; much like in humans dolphins' voices vary depending on where they live. Rocca can also differentiate between different species of dolphin, something that could only be done visually before.


• NASA has released details of the likely cause of the Ingenuity helicopter's crash on Mars earlier this year. Carried to Mars on the Perseverence rover Ingenuity was intended as a proof-of-concept with just five flights planned but the little autonomous aircraft ended up crashing on its 72^nd flight over three years. Telemetry received from Ingenuity has allowed the team at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory to piece together its final moments. Ingenuity was designed to use features such as rocks on the mostly-flat surface below it to navigate, using a downward-facing camera, but it crashed on the side of a sand dune, suggesting that it was unable to interpret the smooth ripples of the sand and made a hard crash into the dune, which caused one of its rotors to break off and the other three to snap. ● JAXA, the Japanese Space Agency has announced that its first test of a space 'janitor' craft managed to get within 49' (15m) of a junked upper stage rocket in orbit, well within its target range; the Active Debris Removal by Astroscale-Japan (ADRAS-J) craft was not intended to capture the debris, that will be in the next mission. There are thought to be over a million pieces of space junk orbiting the Earth ranging in size from flakes of paint through defunct satellites to rocket stages.


• Archaeologists in the town of Heerlen in the Netherlands have discovered the grave of a Roman soldier who lived around the year 1 CE, and identified him as being called Flaccus, from the word "Flac" carved into a bowl in the grave. As well as graves the team have discovered a bathhouse, restaurant and library, suggesting that the Roman town of Corivallum, on the site, was a significant settlement. ● Historic England has added more than 250 sites to its National Heritage List, giving them legal protection. The sites include the tomb of Mary Ellis, believed to have died aged 119 in 1609, in Leigh-on-Sea, Essex, a brutalist church in Bristol, an iron electricity juction box in Huddersfield, installed just three years after electricity was first supplied to the town, World War I training trenches in Gosport and a former maternity ward at the Princess Royal Community Hospital, also in Huddersfield, which was built in 1928, ten years after the Maternity and Child Welfare Act became law; it was one of the first such wards to include single occupancy rooms. ● Three fossilised dinosaur skeletons, found at the same site in Wyoming, have been sold at auction in London for a total of £12.4m ($15.7m). None of the skeletons, a Stegosaurus and both a juvenile and adult Allosaurus, were complete but had been fitted with cast 3D-prints of the missing bones or part-bones.


• Police in Fremont, California, covertly surveilling a suspected gang member who had a number of outstanding warrants, noticed that he had painted the phrase "Catch me if you can, Fremont PD" on the roof of his car. Rather than immediately rising to the challenge they followed him home and raided the residence a few days later, finding cocaine and a gun, and arrested him. They also found that the car with the message on it was carrying stolen license plates. ● A man suspected of being a prolific shoplifter in Blackpool was arrested as he hid in a garden while trying to evade police, thanks to two six-year-old girls who pointed him out to officers, one telling him when he tried to 'shush' them that "I'm not shushing!" The girls were later presented with chocolates and certificates by police at their school assembly. [The report did not name them, but we strongly suspect that one of them might have been a Little Jennifer, in spirit if not name... -Ed] ● Police in Jefferson County, Washington State, have released drone footage of two suspected jewel thieves who crashed their SUV while being pursued, then stole a small rowboat and tried to get away, only for it to sink. Police had used the drone to track them in the boat, and arrested them when they swam back to shore.


• Britain's wind turbines set a record last Sunday, generating more than 22,000 megawatts of electricity, according to the National Energy System Operator. The previous record, 21,998MW was set on January 10^th 2023. ● An iceberg twice the size of Greater London and weighing more than a trillion (1,000,000,000,000) tonnes has broken free after almost 30 years stuck in the Weddell Sea following its calving from the Antarctic ice shelf in 1986. Iceberg A23a was caught on the sea floor until this Spring when it started rotating, trapped in a Taylor Column, a rotating tidal phenomenon above a seamount. It is now drifting towards the Southern Ocean and, eventually, the Atlantic where it is expected to melt in due course. ● Researchers in Illinois are developing a strain of potato that should withstand heatwaves. In tests the genetically-modified plants grew 30% bigger under higher temperatures.

IN BRIEF: The British Army has successfully tested a system to shoot down flying drones using a high-powered laser mounted on an armoured vehicle. ● Caver Ottavia Piana, 32, has been rescued in a 75-hour operation after being trapped in an uncharted area of the Abisso Bueno Fonteno cave system in Northern Italy. After a rock gave way she had fallen 16-19' (5-6m) injuring her back, ribs, face and knee. It was the second time in 17 months that the experienced spelunker had had to be rescued from the cave system. ● America's National Film Registry has added 25 new films to its archive in the Library of Congress. The titles include Invaders From Mars [1953], The Texas Chainsaw Masacre [1974], Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan [1982], Beverly Hills Cop [1984], Dirty Dancing [1987] and No Country For Old Men [2007]. ● The city council of Bend, Oregon, has asked people to stop sticking large googly eyes on public sculptures, including of a deer and a metal ball, around the city. "While the googly eyes places on the various art pieces around town might give you a chuckle, it costs money to remove them with care to not damage the art" a spokesman said. ● Following the spate of unexplained drone sightings across America Republican senator Doug Masriano posted a photograph to XTwitter of what he claimed was a drone recovered from the water on Alabama's Gulf Coast, saying that it was being "taken to undisclosed location for further investigation". Masriano, who is backed by presidentfelon-elect Trump, was roundly mocked with reposts, replies and community notes pointing out that the 'drone' was quite clearly a replica of a TIE fighter from the Star Wars franchise... ● A Virginia hunter was killed after a bear that he and his friends had chased up a tree was shot by one of them and, injured, fell out of the tree, landed on and started biting him before both fell off a cliff... According to the Virginia Department of Wildlife Resources it is illegal "to cripple, harm or dislodge a bear from a tree for the intent of continuing a hunt, chase, or for the purpose of training dogs."

'TIS THE SEASON: Police in Fall River, Massachusetts, were chasing a man when they lost sight of him after he climbed onto a roof. Then a bystander told them that someone was screaming for help from a chimney. The man had tried to climb down it only to become stuck, and had to be rescued by firefighters. A police spokesman later said that "Due to his Santa-antics (the man) was transported to a local hospital out of caution." He was subsequently arrested on drug and other charges. ● After 30-year-old DJ Dave Goodings ordered a 4' (1.2m) inflatable Santa to decorate his house with a few years ago he was more than a little surprised when the Santa that was delived was somewhat larger - at 20' (6.1m) it is the height of his house. This year, for the first time, he has installed it on his driveway, although it means neither he nor his wife can park there, and it has become a local feature. ● Users on XTwitter have been sharing the amusing Christmas cards they have received from neighbours over the years, including one addressed to "Forgotten names. Sorry." and another wishing a happy Christmas to the occupant and his dog (who had been dead for 10 years) from a neighbour just two doors down... ● No doubt NORAD, the North American Aerospace Defense Command, will be tracking and guarding Santa this year, something they have done every year since 1955 (when they were the Continental Air Defense Command), but this year he will also have the blessing of Britain's Civil Aviation Authority (CAA), which regulates civilian aircraft in Britain. They did not just randomly grant permission however - there was a checklist of safety requirements for Santa's sleigh which Andrew McConnell, deputy director of communications at the CAA, told reporters was "checked twice".

UPDATES: Astronauts Butch Wilmore and Sunita Williams, stuck on the International Space Station after crewing Boeing's first Starliner spacecraft to it, only for the craft to have to be returned to Earth unmanned because of problems before, during and after its launch on June 5^th will now be staying aboard the station until at least the end of March next year after NASA pushed back their return again following problems with a planned SpaceX craft. They had originally been meant to stay in space for just 8 days.

^{^} OBITUARIES

Actress Jill Jacobson (Star Trek: The Next Generation, Falcon Crest, Splash, 70), actress Diane Delano (Northern Exposure, The Lady Killers [2004], Rugrats, 75), mentalist George Kresge Jr aka The Amazing Kreskin (The Tonight Show, the Kreskin's ESP board game, The Amazing World of Kreskin, 89), author Jean Adamson MBE (co-creator, with her husband, of the Topsy and Tim series, later adapted to both animated and live TV series, 96).

^{^} DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:

8, 19, 28, 33, 43, 52

[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.

^{^} AND FINALLY...

    Little Jennifer's parents had taken her into town to meet Santa Claus in the shopping centre. In front of them and a queue of other children including her friends Little Mary, Little Simon and Little Emma, Santa leaned down, smiled at her and asked "Have you been a good girl this year, Little Jennifer?"
    Little Jennifer stared at him, thought for a moment then, pouting as only she could, grabbed hold of his beard and pulled it off his face. "You are not the real Father Christmas and I do not have to answer that!"

---

^{^} ...end of line