Issue ^#801 - 17^th January 2025

Edited by and copyright ©2025 Simon Lamont
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tfir@simonlamont.co.uk

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Unless otherwise indicated dollar values are in U.S. dollars. Currency conversions are at current rates at time of writing and may be rounded.
The Friday Irregular uses Common Era year notation.

^{^} ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 17th January     - Day 17/365		-		Regent and translator Elisabeth of Lorraine-Vaudémont, Countess of Nassau-Saarbrücken, died, 1456. Explorer Giovanni da Verrazzano sailed west from Madeira in search of a sea route between the Atlantic and the Pacific, 1524. Scientist and occultist Robert Fludd born, 1574. Captain Scott's Terra Nova Expedition reached the South Pole, one month after Roald Amundsen, 1912. Actress and animal welfare activist Betty White born, 1922. Chess grandmaster Bobby Fischer died, 2008.
Saturday 18th January     - Day 18/365		-		Dutch politician Jan van Riebeeck, founder of Cape Town, died, 1677. Architect John Nash born, 1752. The first ships of the First Fleet carrying convicts to Australia arrived at Botany Bay, 1788. Actress Jane Horrocks born, 1964. Airbus unveiled the A380, the world's largest commercial jet aircraft, 2005. Coloratura soprano Roberta Peters died, 2017.
Sunday 19th January     - Day 19/365		-		King Henry V of England completed his reconquest of Normandy with the surrender of Rouen, 1419. Playwright and poet William Congreve died, 1729. Engineer and chemist James Watt born, 1736. Volleyball player Natalie Cook born, 1975. Bristow Helicopters Flight 56C was forced to ditch in the North Sea after a lightning strike; all 18 aboard were later rescued, 1995. Actress and mathematician Hedy Lamarr died, 2000.
Monday 20th January     - Day 20/365		-		Byzantine emperor Theophilos died, 842. Simon de Montfort's Parliament, the first English parliament to include representatives of major towns, convened for the first time, 1265. Astronomer Simon Marius born, 1573. The U.S. Navy was given permission to lease Pearl Harbor as a naval base, by the Senate, 1887. Comedian, writer and sign-holder Janey Godley born, 1961. Actress and humanitarian activist Audrey Hepburn died, 1993. PresidentialFelon Inauguration Day in the U.S.
Tuesday 21st January     - Day 21/365		-		Highwayman Claude Duval was hanged at Tyburn, 1670. Anatomist Anna Morandi Manzolini born, 1714. William Hill Brown's The Power of Sympathy or the Triumph of Nature Founded in Truth, the first American novel, was printed in Boston, 1789. Russian mystic Grigori Rasputin born, 1869. Concorde entered commercial service, with London-Bahrain and Paris-Rio routes, 1976. Singer Peggy Lee died, 2002.
Wednesday 22nd January     - Day 22/365		-		Explorer, poet and courtier Sir Walter Raleigh born, 1552. Geologist and mineralogist Johann Gottlob Lehmann died, 1767. A small British and colonial force began the successful defence of a mission station against a vastly larger force of Zulu warriors at the Battle of Rorke's Drift in the Anglo-Zulu War, 1879. Queen Victoria of the United Kingdom died, 1901. Actress Linda Blair born, 1959. Apple introduced the Macintosh with a TV commercial directed by Ridley Scott and aired during Super Bowl XVIII, 1984.
Thursday 23rd January     - Day 23/365		-		London's Royal Exchange opened, 1571. John Hancock, first Governor of Massachusetts and possessor of a notable signature, born, 1737. Brewer Arthur Guinness died, 1803. The Wham-O toy company bought the patent to Walter Morrison's flying disc, later renaming it the "Frisbee", 1957. Actress Mariska Hargitay born, 1964. Singer-songwriter Melanie Safka died, 2024.

^{^} THE WISDOM OF...

This week, John Kerry, on Real Time [14^th September 2018]:

He [Donald Trump]'s got the maturity of an eight-year-old boy with the insecurity of a teenage girl. That's just who he is.

^{^} FILM QUIZ

A selection of quotations from films containing the word 'adventure' in the title, either as a whole word or part of a word. Answers next issue or from the regular address.

• Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K.
• White men no longer make safari. Come through sky like vultures.
• You see, Mr. Scott? In the water I'm a very skinny lady.
• Now boys, if either of you give me any grief I swear to God I'll kill you. Dead, murdered, stabbed.
• And that's why, in a straight fight, a shark would probably beat a Dracula.

Last issue's 'chocolate' quotations were from:

• - But Charlie, don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.
  - What happened?
  - He lived happily ever after.
      -- Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory [1971]
• All right, Renault! Playtime's over. Tell us... why aren't you selling any chocolates?
      -- The Chocolate War [1988]
• Let me try to put this into perspective for you. The first Comte de Reynaud expelled all the radical Huguenots in this village. You and your truffles present a far lesser challenge.
      -- Chocolat [2000]
• What we are not is what we are taught to fear.
      -- Blood & Chocolate [2007]
• Lollipops. Ought to be called cavities on a stick!
      -- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory [2005]

^{^} WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

• Buglife, a wildlife charity, has reported that bumblebees were seen nesting at locations across the UK during the mild weather over Christmas, far earlier than normal, and the nests were at a "high risk" of failing because of the seasonal shortage of flowers for the bees to gether nectar and pollen from, and the chance of cold weather, as happened last week. Bumblebees are already in decline across Britain and in other countries due to the use of neonicotinoid insecticides. ● Scientists in China have identified the smallest extinct cat yet found, from a lower jaw fragment found in the Hualongdong cave in Anhui province. Prionailurus kurteni was a relative of leopards and small enough to fit in the palm of a hand. ● Australia's National Broadband Network has over 2,400 triangular antenna towers across the country but about a fifth of them have birds nesting on them. Not just any birds, often falcons and eagles, including white-bellied sea eagles which have wingspans of up to 6' (2m) and can weigh 8.2lb (3.7kg). Their presence makes it difficult for engineers to acccess the towers so the network company has been removing the nests with cranes and adding nesting platforms high above the level of the antennae. ● Angler Shaun Ing has been confirmed as having caught the largest catfish recorded in the UK. The fish, weighing 150lb (68kg) and more than 8' (2.4m) in length was reeled in after 90 minutes of "absolute madness" at Chigborough Fisheries near Maldon, Essex, last September. The same fish was caught ten years ago, when it weighed 20lb (9.1kg) less. Its head was placed in the water regularly through the weighing to keep it alive, and it was released into a specialist catfish lake afterwards. ● Researchers have used laser scanning to discover how pterosaurs, the winged dinosaurs, managed to control their flight, something that has been a mystery until now. It was all down to latticed 'vanes' at the tips of their tails which allowed them to both stabilise and guide their flight. ● Scientists in Australia have identified a previously-unknown third species of funnel-web spider. It has been named Atrax chestenseni or, for everyday use, "Big Boy"... Funnel-webs are among the most deadly of spiders, although antivenom developed in the 1980s has meant there have been no human fatalities since then. ● Two lynx, which had been illegally released, were captured near Kingussie by the Royal Zoological Society of Scotland last week, only for two more to be released - also illegally - the next day. They were also captured, but one later died. The Society reported that all four showed signs of starvation and had seemingly only eaten the food placed in the traps.


• The supermassive black hole in the centre of the galaxy 1ES 1927+654, with a mass of about a million Suns, some 270 million light years from Earth, has been puzzling astronomers since 2018 when its corona disappeared, only to return a few months later. Now it has begun emitting bursts of X-rays at increasing frequency, starting at every 18 minutes, most recently every 7 minutes. One theory is that there is a white dwarf star in close orbit; which could be tested for as it would be sending out gravitational waves. ● When Joe Velaidum returned to his home on Prince Edward Island north of Nova Scotia, Canada, after taking his dog for a walk, he discovered that something had smashed into the walkway just outside the front door. He checked his home security video and found that it appeared to have been a meteorite, so he collected samples and sent them to the University of Alberta. Chris Herd, curator of the university's meteorite collection confirmed that it was, indeed, a meteorite, and coincidentally had a family trip planned to visit the island soon after, so was able to collect more samples, interview Velaidum and see the footage. It is thought to be the first time a meteorite strike has been recorded on camera with sound. ● Residents of Mukuku village in Kenya were stunned at the end of December when they heard what sounded like a bomb blast and discovered that a red-hot metal ring, some 8' (2.5m) in diameter, later found to weight more than 1,102lb (500kg), had crashed on farmland by a dry riverbed. Villagers and police stood vigil to prevent it being stolen until authorities arrived the next day. The Kenyan Space Agency identified it as being a rocket stage separating ring, possibly from a European Space Agency (ESA) Ariane rocket, and had probably been in orbit for up to 16 years. Under international law the ESA, if confirmed as the origin of the ring, would be liable for any compensation claims; although nobody was injured several houses were damaged.


• Archaeologists in Egypt have found the decorated tomb of Teti Neb Fu, a "magician-physician" who lived between roughly 2,305 BCE and 2,118 BCE, and was responsible for the health of pharaohs, including King Pepe II. ● With all the talk in recent years of museums being asked to return items to their original countries, we note a recent story about the Missiemuseum in Steyt, Netherlands, which wanted to return a number of ritual skulls collected by German missionaries from the then-cannibal headhunter Latmul people in Papua New Guinea at the start of the 20^th Century as examples of their 'savagery' and to justify their being 'civilised' by the missionaries and colonial authorities. The skulls, consisting of clay moulded around human skulls and painted to resemble faces, were used in rituals, but when curator Paul Voogt went to meet the tribe to discuss their return he was told that they did not want them because they were taken such a long time ago that the tribe no longer knows whose skulls they were so they have no power and are just objects, for which they have no use. Voogt also told reporters that - off the record - people would say "It's also dangerous. Because we don't know who they are and if they are the skulls of enemies, if we bring them into our village, this could cause harm, a curse." ● A man searching for second-hand door panels was given one for free by a paint stripper yard in Cardiff, who were going to bin it. When he examined it later he discovered that it contained hand-written notes by a teenager living in 1947 describing what life was like, with daily six-hour power cuts, food rationing and the lack of coal for heating. ● A collection of 700 items which belonged to the late comedian Eric Morecambe has been sold at auction, including a pair of his trademark glasses, estimated at £2,00-£4,000 ($2,450-$4,900) which sold for £20,000 ($24,450), a tailcoat and trousers worn on the Morecambe and Wise TV show, which sold for £4,500 ($5,500) and a letter written to him by Ernie Wise, early in their career, in which he said he wanted to end their partnership (they did not), which sold for £3,200 ($3,900).


• A suspected burglar in Carlisle was caught by police thanks to someone not cleaning up after their dog. Brian Harold, 20, had trodden in dog mess and left a trail of footprints at the crime scene. When arrested he was wearing the same shoes. ● A California traffic officer was stunned after he stopped a man on suspicion of driving under the influence (DUI), as the man told him "I was just dropping off my friend because I'm the DUI tonight." The officer asked him to confirm that he was "the DUI" before asking "Do you mean to say the DD?" [designated driver, who does not drink alcohol in order to safely drive their friends home]. The driver apologised, then struggled to walk a straight line and maintain his balance, so was arrested. ● Police in Melbourne, Australia, have released video footage of a would-be arsonist who tried to set a closed fast-food restaurant on fire but was more successful at setting his own trousers alight and was seen running down the pavement trying to remove them... [Now that is arson fire... -Ed] ● Octavia Wells, 41, was on her way to rehab on New Year's Eve when she texted who she thought was her drugs dealer to arrange to buy some fentanyl at a convenience store. She sent the message to the wrong person, who had a similar name to her dealer but was actually a Bay County Sheriff's Office investigator she had had a "previous iteration" with according to police, who were waiting for her at the store...


• A team of European scientists led by the Italian Institute of Polar Sciences has beaten seven other teams to extract an ice core down to the bedrock in Antarctica. The core, 1.7 miles (2.8km) long, took four Antarctic summers to extract, at temperatures down to -35^oC (-31^oF), dates back some 1.2m years and could provide insights into the disrupted glacial cycle 900,000-1.2m years ago, when it is thought that human ancestors came close to extinction. The core will be cut into 3'- (1m)-long sections to be transported frozen off Antarctica by boat, eventually being distributed across various European scientific institutions including the British Antarctic Survey, for analysis. ● Some of Sydney's beaches have been closed - again, after grey or white marble-sized balls were washed up in large numbers. Last year beaches in the Australian city were closed after similar-sized black balls were washed ashore; they were found to be most likely the product of a sewage spill. ● The UK recorded its coldest January night in 15 years on the 10^th, with the temperature in Altnaharra, a village in the Scottish Highlands, dropping to -18.9^C (-2^oF). Water hyacinths are a worldwide problem. The species, originally from South America, was introduced as an ornamental plant but became an invasive species, taking over lakes and waterways. Efforts to remove it have included introducing weevils to attack it and schemes to harvest it and combine it with food waste and cow dung to produce a biofuel, but now a company in Kenya has developed a means to make a bioplastic from dried water hyacinths in combination with binding agents and additives. The plastic naturally degrades over a few months. Harvesting the water hyacinths has also become a useful second income source for fishermen on Lake Naivasha in Kenya, for days on which they cannot fish because of the plant covering their nets.

IN BRIEF: Medical student Hadi Mazari who was reported missing on Boxing Day while hiking in New South Wales, Australia, has been found alive. He was alert and able to speak, but thirsty. He told his rescuers that he had survived on berries and two muesli bars which he had found in a hut, with just stream water to drink. ● An Australian woman who was persuaded to participate in a fake wedding ceremony for an Instagram stunt later disovered that it was real, part of a scheme for her "husband" to claim permanent residency in the country as a dependent on her claim for the same. A judge ruled in her favour and the marriage was annulled. ● A High Court judge has sided with Newport Council after a Bitcoin miner sued them to try to recover a hard drive from a rubbish tip that he claimed held his Bitcoin wallet, now worth around £598m ($731m), or pay him compensation for its loss. ● Polish army general Artur Kȩpczynski has been fired after a shipment of landmines were mistakenly sent to an IKEA warehouse, where they sat for more than a week before anyone noticed... ● Mountain rescue teams had to call in a helicopter to transport an injured walker on Lady Booth Clough near Edale to an ambulance on Saturday because their vehicles could not get close enough due to "cars parked and abandoned in various locations". ● Resentative Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Georgia), one of the incoming felon's acolytes and not known for her intelligence, asked on social media why scientists have not used cloud seeding (dropping or firing particles into clouds for water droplets to form around, creating rain) over Los Angeles to douse the wildfires because "they know how to do it." As many people pointed out, cloud seeding only works at small scale and, more importantly, needs clouds. California has been undergoing a severe drought with few rainclouds in the sky to seed... The incoming felon himself wondered why water was not just flowing down from Canada, because it is to the north... [Firefighters and firefighting aircraft from Canada, Mexico and several US states have been assisting the Los Angeles Fire Department. -Ed] ● Some of the wackier new devices demonstrated at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas this year included a kitten-shaped device that sits on the side of a mug and blows onto the hot drink it holds to cool it, a robot vacuum cleaner similar to the Roomba, but with an arm to pick up objects in its way and a spoon that zaps the tongue with a small electric shock to make food taste saltier... ● Chopped and whole cherry and salad tomatoes - as well as sachets of ketchup - have been left on the parapet of a bridge in Drumcondra Road, Dublin. ● A restaurant in Norwich has begun charging £100 ($122) for one specific item on its Deliveroo menu. That item is the always-controversial Hawaiian pizza, because both the restaurant owner and the head chef are firmly on the side of pineapple not belonging on a pizza...

^{^} OBITUARIES

Singer and broadcaster Linda Nolan (The Nolan Sisters, "I'm In The Mood for Dancing", Loose Women, 65), actor and comedian Tony Slattery (Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Carry On Columbus, What's the Matter with Tony Slattery?, 65), actress Diane Langton (Carry On England, Only Fools and Horses, Hollyoaks, 77), actress Leslie Charleson (General Hospital [48-year run], Dharma & Greg, The Day of the Dolphin, 79), civil rights activist Charles Person (youngest of the original 13 Freedom Riders who travelled across the Southern US states in 1961 protesting segregation on interstate buses and at terminals, 82), musical director and composer Laurie Holloway (Parkinson, Strictly Come Dancing, Petula Clark's "Downtown", 86), soul singer Sam Moore (Same & Dave, "Soul Man", "Hold On, I'm Comin'", 89), former child actor Claude Jarman, Jr (Juvenile Academy Award winner for The Yearling [1946], Rio Grande, Intruder in the Dust, 90), costume designer Phyllis Dalton (The Princess Bride, Doctor Zhivago, Oscar winner [1966 & 1990], 99).

^{^} DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:

22, 31, 33, 42, 44, 46

[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.

^{^} AND FINALLY...

    Little Jennifer and Little Mary were talking about their recent tests at school. "I got an A in spelling", Little Mary said proudly.
    Little Jennifer looked puzzled. "But there isn't an 'A' in spelling, Little Mary. Even I know that!"

---

^{^} ...end of line