Issue ^#806 - 21^st February 2025

Edited by and copyright ©2025 Simon Lamont
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tfir@simonlamont.co.uk

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Unless otherwise indicated dollar values are in U.S. dollars. Currency conversions are at current rates at time of writing and may be rounded.
The Friday Irregular uses Common Era year notation.

^{^} ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 21st February     - Day 52/365		-		King James I of Scotland was assassinated, 1437. Astronomer, music theorist and composer Sethus Vavisius born, 1556. The Romanov dynasty in Imperial Russia began with the election of Mikhail I as Tsar, 1613. Singer-songwriter Nina Simone born, 1933. The CND logo, later known as the peace sign, was designed by Gerald Holtom, 1958. Nobel laureate biochemist and pharmacologist Gertrude B. Elion died, 1999. International Mother Language Day (UNESCO).
Saturday 22nd February     - Day 53/365		-		Cartographer and explorer Amerigo Vespucci died, 1512. The first copy of Galileo's Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems was delivered to Ferdinando II de' Medici, Grand Duke of Tuscany, 1632. Military and political leader George Washington, 1st President of the United States, born, 1732. Frank Woolworth opened his first five-and-dime Woolworth store in Utica, New York, 1879. Soprano and ghost singer Marni Nixon born, 1930. Actress Simone Simon died, 2005.
Sunday 23rd February     - Day 54/365		-		The Gutenberg Bible, the first Western book printed using movable type, was published, 1455 [traditional date]. Diarist Samuel Pepys born, 1633. Poet John Keats died, 1821. Dr Glenn T. Seaborg first produced and isolated plutonium, 1941. Singer Linda Nolan born, 1959. Actress Katherine Helmond died, 2019.
Monday 24th February     - Day 55/365		-		An English reconnaissance party was ambushed and defeated at the Battle of Roslin in the First War of Scottish Independence, 1303. Traveller and scholar Ibn Battuta born, 1303. Engineer Robert Fulton died, 1815. Nancy Astor became the first woman to speak in the House of Commons, three months after her election as an MP, 1920. Author and screenwriter Gillian Flynn born, 1971. Physicist and NASA mathematician Katherine Johnson died, 2020. Twin Peaks Day.
Tuesday 25th February     - Day 56/365		-		Roman emperor Hadrian adopted Antoninus Pius as his son and effective successor, 138. Astronomer Maria Margerethe Kirch born, 1670. Architect Sir Christopher Wren died, 1723. President Ferdinand Marcos fled the Philippines after 20 years in power, during the People Power Revolution, 1986. Actors James and Oliver Phelps born, 1986. Writer and illustrator Shirley Hughes died, 2022.
Wednesday 26th February     - Day 57/365		-		Margaret of England, Queen consort of Scotland, died, 1275. Playwright and poet Christopher Marlowe born, 1564. The Roman Catholic Church formally banned Galileo from teaching or defending the idea that the Earth orbits the Sun, 1616. Robert Watson-Watt demonstrated that shortwave radio waves are reflected from an aircraft, which would lead to the development of radar, 1935. Swimmer Jenny Thompson born, 1973. Computer scientist Jef Raskin, creator of the prototype Macintosh, died, 2005.
Thursday 27th February     - Day 58/365		-		The University of Constantinople was founded, 425. Adventurer the Count of St Germain died, 1784. Poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow born, 1807. The German parliament building was burned down in the Reichstag fire, 1933. Journalist and academic Chelsea Clinton born, 1980. Comedian and writer Linda Smith died, 2006.

^{^} THE WISDOM OF...

This week, Christopher Marlowe, in Doctor Faustus:

Was this the face that launched a thousand ships
And burnt the topless towers of Ileum?

^{^} FILM QUIZ

A selection of quotations from films containing the word 'heart' in the title, either as a whole word or part of a word. Answers next issue or from the regular address.

• They say there's enough religion in the world to make men hate each other, but not enough to make them love.
• You let your own daughter seduce me? Do you have any idea how much therapy you people need?
• - Hey, my snakeskin jacket! Thanks, baby! Did I ever tell you that this here jacket represents a symbol of my individuality and my belief in personal freedom?
  - About 50,000 times.
• - Why'd you do it, Babe ? Why'd you put your head in the oven?
  - I don't know... I'm having a bad day.
• We're not in infinity; we're in the suburbs.

Last issue's 'music' quotations were from:

• - You wouldn't let me play!
  - Dude! You were playing 40-minute bass solos. No one but you could play!
      -- Bill & Ted Face the Music [2020]
• When a woman's got a husband, and you've got none, why should she take advice from you? Even if you can quote Balzac and Shakespeare and all them other high-falutin' Greeks.
      -- The Music Man [1962]
• I'm Liesl. I'm sixteen years old and I don't need a governess.
      -- The Sound of Music [1965]
• I'll show you the roof. It's upstairs.
      -- Music and Lyrics [2007]
• We need to save our show from people who don't know the difference between a Tony Award and Tony Hawk.
      -- High School Musical [2006]

^{^} WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

• There were a lot of misleading headlines last week about an encounter between a kayaker and a humpback whale off the Chilean coast. At no time did the whale "swallow" the man as its throat is far too narrow (humpbacks' diet is krill and small fish), it briefly had him in its mouth after, we presume, mistaking his kayak for a small shoal of fish, before releasing him unharmed. ● Florida scientists have been reported as being "surprised" to discover 35 different species of animals, including alligators, turtles and raccoons, using the underground stormwater sewer network to move around areas of the state, most notably in Alachua County in the north. In some cases they were using culverts to cross between ponds without having to risk the road above. ● Michael Hardy, from Weybridge, Surrey, received an unusual phone call from a ticket office worker at London Waterloo station. His cat Tilly had boarded a train at Weybridge station and stayed on until it terminated at Waterloo, 17.7 miles (28.5km) away. Fortunately Hardy was working in London at the time and was able to go and collect her. ● For Valentine's Day last week Lódź Zoo in Poland offered a triple-tier VIP package for jilted lovers. For 50 Polish złoty (£10; $12.60) you could adopt and name - presumably after your ex - a cockroach. For 150 złoty (£30; $38) the zoo would send you a picture of your named cockroach being fed to one of the zoo's residents, and for 300 złoty (£60; $75) you could feed your cockroach to a meerkat yourself. All proceeds were donated to the Pangolin Foundation which restores damaged natural habitats and supports endangered species.


• Researchers in Poland have discovered that 26 early Iron Age ornaments discovered at an ancient cemetary site contain iron from meteorites, making it one of the biggest collections of meteoric iron discovered at a single site worldwide. The discovery also shows that people living in the area were able to work with the iron earlier than previously thought. ● At some point this year there will, temporarily, be a new bright star in the sky. T Coronae Borealis (T CrB) is a variable star or recurring nova, a binary star system comprising a white dwarf and red giant in close orbit of each other. Material from the red giant is pulled onto the white dwarf until its mass is high enough for a thermonuclear detonation to trigger. The resulting explosion will cause T CrB to brighten, possibly on a par with the brightest stars in the night sky before fading again over about a year. The last time T CrB brightened was in February 1945, and its earliest recorded brightening is thought to have been in the autumn of 1217.


• English Heritage has announced the latest batch of blue plaques, signifying houses that were lived in by notable people. This year's plaques are honoring the arts, and include the London homes of actress Audrey Hepburn, novelist Barbara Pym, ballerina Alicia Markova, poet Una Marson and musician Marc Bolan. Plaques are only installed with the current homeowner's permission. ● Excavations underneath 85 Gracechurch Street, a London office building due to be demolished and redeveloped, have revealed a large part of Roman Londinium's first basilica built around 2,000 years ago, the heart of the ancient city. It will be preserved as the new building is put up over it, and opened to the public in due course. ● A pair of extravagant glasses worn by the late Australian actor and comedian Barry Humphries as his character Dame Edna Everage has sold at auction for £37,800 ($47,600), more than 25 times their estimate.


• Last week attorneys representing a man suing Walmart and Jetson Electric Bikes over a fire allegedly caused by a hoverboard (a two-wheeled self-balancing scooter) were told by the judge in the case that they may face sanctions for eight of the nine cases cited as prior evidence because they do not exist but were created by the ChatGPT artificial intelligence system. ● A dentist pulled over for speeding in Houston, Texas, was found to have over 100 canisters of nitrous oxide, or laughing gas, in his car, and admitted to have been "inhaling all day". Police, who did not see the funny side, charged him with eluding police and possession/use of a volatile substance. It was his third run-in with authorities over his use of the gas. ● French customs officers conducting routine random inspections found nine fossilised dinosaur teeth in a package carried on a Spanish lorry near the Italian border. The teeth are thought to have belonged to a Zarafasaura oceanis, a Mosasaurus and a Dyrosaurus phosphaticus, the latter an ancestor of modern crocodiles. While it is legal to collect fossils, exporting them generally requires a licence, so officials are working to identify who they were being sent to. ● Police in Indianapolis have released video footage of one of their patrol cars pursuing a woman who stole a Krispy Kreme doughnut delivery truck earlier this month. As she wove through traffic the rear doors swung open causing doughnuts to "fly all over the street", according to the police. The truck was stopped after 11 miles (18km) and the 32-year-old woman arrested. [At least she stole it in the daytime; Krispy Kreme trucks here in Britain have notices on them saying "No doughnuts are left in this vehicle overnight"... We assume the same is true in the US. -Ed] ● Border Force officers at Heathrow Airport, London, have arrested an Austrian man attempting to board a flight to Turkey, after discovering £400,000 ($503,500) in cash in his suitcase as well as €11,000 (£9,100; 11,460) in his backpack. He was charged with money laundering. ● A self-proclaimed 'mystic' whose claim that a statue of the Virgin Mary in Trevignano Romano, Italy, was weeping tears of blood is likely to face trial after DNA tests showed that the blood was hers. ● A woman in Fukuoka, Japan, has been arrested for "criminal damage" after allegedly using her thumb to squash a bun in a convenience store and leaving without buying it. While the package of four buns was unopened the shopkeeper said he could not sell them as one had been pressed in and had not recovered its shape. The buns cost ¥180 (£0.95; $1.20).


• Several beaches in southern Florida had to be temporarily closed last weekend after a number of tar balls washed ashore on them. The balls, small pieces of oil, are often a result of oil spills, but US Coast Guard air and sea patrols were unable to find any, either on the open sea or around tankers waiting at nearby Fort Lauderdale. It is possible that the tar balls seeped up from oil reservoirs under the sea floor. ● The combined extent of sea ice around the north and south poles is at its lowest ever recorded level, some 6.08m square miles (15.76m km²) over the five days to February 13^th.

IN BRIEF: About 100 people joined Highland dancers and pipers to perform the Strip the Willow dance on Glasgow's Sauchiehall Street last Saturday, as part of the city's 850^th anniversary celebrations. ● More than 100 people dressed as dinosaurs took part in four races on Weymouth Beach, Dorset, for the second annual charity-fundraising Chase the Dinosaur event. Races ranged from 3 miles (5km) for adults down to a short race for pre-school children, all raising funds for the Will Mackaness Trust, which provides local children with watersports opportunities. The event also saw the unveiling of the first stretch of Weymouth's Fossil Trail, providing QR codes across the town where people can learn about its prehistoric past, and a display of animatronic dinosaurs. ● British Library worker Lidia Kogut has been awarded £7,500 ($9,440) by an employment tribunal after suing the Library for "failing to provide reasonable adjustment to provide her with a quiet location" to work... [Altogether now: sssssshhhhhhh -Ed, trained to shush people as part of a librarianship degree course... ;)]

UPDATES: The Greek island of Santorini continues to be hit by a swarm of earthquakes, including a magnitude 5.3, the strongest yet.

^{^} TRUMPWATCH

[From the Editor: During the tangerine terror's first term this column was a weekly report on the activities of his, and his family's, worst behaviour in power. I do not intend to return to that so for the next few years (or until he is kicked out) it will be an occasional report of the most ludicrous goings-on...]

Among the many false claims of discovered fraud made by the unelected Elon Musk, nominally - if not officially - in charge of the unofficial "Department of Government Efficiency" (DOGE), was that many supposedly 150-year-olds were claiming social security benefits. Musk's team of young computer "experts" analysing the Social Security Administration (SSA) have no knowledge or experience of the COBOL computer language in which the administration's systems were written. Unlike more modern languages COBOL does not have a data type for dates, instead relying on references to a fixed date, usually May 20^th 1875, the date of the Paris conference that standardised the metre. If a birth date is missing or unknown, it would show - this year - as an age of 150. The SSA website, had they checked, also shows that social security benefits stop automatically at the age of 115... ● DOGE also fired hundreds of federal employees at the National Nuclear Security Administration, then realised that they were the people responsible for safeguarding America's nuclear weapons and rushed to rehire them, but were unable to reach many because their access to government email systems had been removed. ● More recently people, including officials and scientists working on bird flu, have been fired from the Department of Agriculture in the middle of a bird flu epidemic... ● In his latest act of projection Comrade Trumpski, now openly parroting Kremlin propaganda, has called Ukranian President Volodymyr Zelensky "a dictator"...

^{^} ENTERTAINMENT

2025 Bafta Film Awards

    Best Film: Conclave; Outstanding British Film: Conclave; Animated Film: Wallace and Gromit: Vengeance Most Foul; Children's and Family Film: Wallace and Gromit: Vengeance Most Foul; British Short Film: Rock, Paper, Scissors; British Short Animation: Wander to Wonder; Documentary: Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story.
    Leading Actress: Mikey Madison, Anora; Leading Actor: Adrien Brody, The Brutalist; Supporting Actress: Zoe Saldaña, Emilia Pérez; Supporting Actor: Kieran Culkin, A Real Pain; Director: Brady Corbet, The Brutalist; Bafta Fellowship: Warwick Davis; EE Bafta Rising Star Award (public vote): David Jonsson.
    Outstanding Debut by a British Writer, Director or Producer: Kneecap; Film Not in the English Language: Emilia Pérez; Outstanding British Contribution to Cinema: MediCinema.
    Original Screenplay: A Real Pain; Adapted Screenplay: Conclave.
    Original Score: Daniel Blumberg, The Brutalist; Casting: Anora; Cinematography: The Brutalist; Costume Design: Wicked; Editing: Conclave; Production Design: Wicked; Make-up and Hair: The Substance; Sound: Dune: Part Two; Special Visual Effects: Dune: Part Two.

^{^} OBITUARIES

Belgian Malinois dog Hurricane (US Secret Service Special Operations, considered the most decorated dog in American history, 15), drummer Rick Buckler (The Jam, The Gift, Time UK, 69), actor Kevyn Major Howard (Full Metal Jacket, Alien Nation, Sudden Impact, 69), actress Maya Woolfe (Doctor Who, Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Triangle, 72), actor Julian Holloway (Elizabeth R, Young Winston, The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle, 80), actress Geneviève Page (The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, El Cid, Belle de Jour, 97).

^{^} DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:

4, 8, 26, 33, 48, 51

[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.

^{^} AND FINALLY...

    Little Jennifer came home from school to find her parents sitting in the living room with her aunt. "Little Jennifer," her mother said, smiling at her sister, "your Auntie Jane is going to have another baby. What do you think of that?"
    Little Jennifer thought for a moment then smiled as only she could and asked, "What was wrong with the first one?"

---

^{^} ...end of line