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Issue #421 - 14th April 2017
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| Contents | — – o o O o o – — |
^ WORD OF THE WEEK
apostrophectomy |
Friday 14th April - Titus, son of Roman emperor Vespasian besieged Jerusalem, 70. Cartographer Abraham Ortelius born, 1527. Something was seen in the skies over Nuremberg, 1561. James Hepburn, 4th Earl of Bothwell, husband of Mary, Queen of Scots, died, 1578. Astronomer Christiaan Huygens born, 1629. Composer George Frideric Handel died, 1759. John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath was first published, 1939. Bassist Pete Farndon died, 1983. Actress Sarah Michelle Gellar born, 1977. Saturday 15th April - King Henry IV of England born, 1367. The English domination of northern France ended with the Battle of Formigny, 1450. Catherine I of Russia born, 1684. Madame de Pompadour, mistress of Louis XV of France, died, 1764. Samuel Johnson's A Dictionary of the English Language was published, 1755. 1,517 passengers and crew died when the RMS Titanic struck an iceberg and sank, 1912. Insulin became widely available for use by diabetics, 1923. 96 Liverpool FC fans were unlawfully killed due to grossly negligent failures by police and ambulance services, in the Hillsborough disaster, 1989. Actress Emma Watson born, 1990. World Art Day. Sunday 16th April - Roman emperor Otho committed suicide, 69. Masada fell to the Romans, 73. Architect Jules Hardouin-Mansart born, 1646. The US Congress ratified the Rush-Bagot Treaty, establishing the border with Canada, 1818. Wax museum founder Marie Tussaud died, 1850. Aviation pioneer Wilbur Wright born, 1867. Albert Hofmann accidentally discovered the hallucinogenic properties of LSD, 1943. Chemist & X-Ray crystallographer Rosalind Franklin died, 1958. Singer-songwriter Selena born, 1971. World Voice Day. Monday 17th April - King Harald III of Denmark died, 1080. Geoffrey Chaucer first told The Canterbury Tales, 1397. Thai king Taksin born, 1734. Inventor, politician & publisher Benjamin Franklin died, 1790. Virginia became the 8th state to secede from the United States and join the Confederate States of America, 1861. Ufologist George Adamski born, 1891. Apollo 13 returned safely to Earth, 1970. Actress Jennifer Garner born, 1972. Philanthropist John Paul Getty, Jr died, 2003. World Hemophilia Day. Tuesday 18th April - King Æthelred I of Northumbria murdered, 796. King Henry II of Navarre born, 1503. "Hanging Judge" George Jeffreys, 1st Baron Jeffreys, died, 1689. Paul Revere and others rode to alert American militia that the British had begun moving from Boston at the start of the American Revolution, 1775. Lawyer Clarence Darrow born, 1857. Spritualism in France began with the publication of The Spirits Book by Allan Kardec, 1857. Actress Barbara Hale born, 1922. The International Court of Justice in The Hague sat for the first time, 1946. Explorer & ethnologist Thor Heyerdahl died, 2002. Wednesday 19th April - Piso's plot to assassinate the Roman emperor Nero was betrayed, 65. King Robert II of Scotland died, 1390. Musician Christoph Bach born, 1613. Artist Canaletto died, 1768. Lieutenant (later Captain) James Cook first sighted the land now called Australia, 1770. Ole Evinrude, inventor of the outboard motor, born, 1877. Mae West was sentenced to ten days in jail for obscenity, 1927. Chef Michel Roux born, 1941. Writer Daphne du Maurier died, 1989. Primrose Day in the UK. Thursday 20th April - Writer Pietro Aretino born, 1492. Sun dogs were seen over Stockholm, and shown in the painting Vädersolstavlan, 1535. The Septinsular Republic was declared, 1800. Engineer Heinrich Göbel born, 1818. Dracula creator Bram Stoker died, 1912. Skydiver Felix Baumgartner born, 1969. Bookseller Christopher Robin Milne died, 1996. The Deepwater Horizon drilling rig in the Gulf of Mexico exploded, 2010. Comedian, singer-songwriter, actress & writer Victoria Wood died, 2016. 420 (International, cannabis culture).
This week, Daphne du Maurier:Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard.
A mixed bag of quotations from films starring a common actor. Answers next issue or from the regular address.Last issue's quotations were from films starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson:
- Just remember this - in this country they drive on the wrong side of the road.
- We have been invaded, by an enemy far more lethal than any human force.
- - Married six years and you're not pregnant yet? How old are you now, Susan?
- I'm seventy-four, Dad.
- You are not! You're twenty-seven. What's wrong with you? Here's your sister, married six minutes, and she's already four months pregnant!- If 1200 men couldn't hold a defensive position this morning, what chance have we with 100?
- - I fell down the chimney and landed on a flaming hot goose!
- You have all the fun!
- - We don't know what we are dealing with here. It's S.O.P. to call reinforcements when it's insecu...
- *We are*... the reinforcements.
-- Doom [2005]- I may be a king, but I'm a wrestler first.
-- The Scorpion King [2002]- Really? Blow dart in my butt cheek?
-- Moana [2016]- OK, who wants an 'A' in independent study? I'm starting a new class: "How to save lives by hacking media outlets".
-- San Andreas [2015]- - You do know how to fly this thing, right?
- How did you think we got here?
- Well, you crashed, remember?
-- Race to Witch Mountain [2009]
Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...
DEAL! Earlier we reported on Libratus, an AI poker-playing system that defeated four professional players over 20 days in January. The system, now modified and renamed Lengpudashi, has been at it again, this time in a series of exhibition games over five days in China, and it won a landslide victory and $290,000 (£230,000), which will go to the company founded by its creators. Despite the exhibition being in China, Lengpudashi, like Libratus before it, was run on supercomputers in Pittsburgh.
WATER! Scientists writing in the Astronomical Journal claim to have detected an atmosphere around an extra-solar Earth-like planet for the first time. The planet, GJ 1133b, is 39 light years away and roughly 1.4 times the size of Earth. They write that it has a dense layer of gases that are either methane, water vapour or both. It also has a surface temperature of 370C (698F), far hotter than the known limit for life on Earth at 120C (248F). As this issue goes to press NASA are due to give an 'extraordinary' press conference at which it is thought they will confirm the presence of large bodies of water on Europa, a moon of Jupiter and/or Enceladus, orbiting Saturn.
COULROPHOBICS BEWARE! With the spate of 'creepy clown' sightings last year that began in the US and spread to other countries, including the UK, it is either the ideal, or the worst time (depending on your viewpoint) for Warner Bros/Lionsgate to release the first trailer for their upcoming cinema version of Stephen King's It, in which an ancient evil appears in the guise of a clown called Pennywise. It, published in 1986, was previously adapted as a TV miniseries in 1990, with Tim Curry as Pennywise. The new trailer set the record for the most watched ever with 197 million views in the 24 hours after release. Not surprisingly, given their already battered image, professional clowns are up in arms, with Glaswegian Celine Harland, who has performed as Tickles for the last 17 years telling the Press Association that her profession has only just recovered from last year's problems, and the horror film will have a more negative impact. It opens in September.
QUACK! Shajar Abid, formerly an engineer at IBM but now "chief visionary officer" at Nubius Technologies LLC is suing Google for $10bn (£7.98bn) after the online ad business pulled his company's ads for "a divine cure for cancer" consisting of honey, herbs and spices. He also wants the $88 (£70.25) Google charged him for the ads returned. Abid, acting as his own attorney, claims that Google suppressed both his First Amendment speech and religious rights, as well as causing loss of business, pain and suffering. His sole scientific claim for his product appears to be that his father was a chemist. His ads ran on Google for a week before they were pulled, generating 500 web hits and 5 emails, but no sales for the $47/pound (£37.52) jars (about seven times the cost of normal honey). Abid also seems to not understand the First Amendment, which applies to government agencies rather than companies. In closing his complaint, Abid suggests that there is a conspiracy at work against him. Perhaps a tinfoil hat would work just as well as spiced honey...
SHRIMP! A newly-identified species of pistol shrimp, found off the Pacific coast of Panama, has been named Synalpheus pinkfloydi after one of the favourite bands of Sammy De Grave, who headed the team that identified it. He has previously named another species of shrimp Elephantis jaggerai after the Rolling Stones' front man. The pistol shrimp is so named because it can snap its enlarged claw closed at such a rate as to generate a sonic shock wave powerful enough to stun its prey.
IN BRIEF: Boaty McBoatFace, the yellow remotely-operated submarine that will be carried about the currently-under-construction research ship RRS David Attenborough successfully completed its first dive last week, launched from the RRS James Clark Ross in the Weddell Sea. Sculptor of Wall Street's Charging Bull statue wants Fearless Girl sculpture erected to face it, taken down as it changes the artistic meaning of his work. Hackers sets off 150 public warning sirens in Dallas, Texas, techs take 90 minutes to shut them off. Police in North India searching for parents of girl found apparently living with monkeys. Aberdeen football club who lost ball after it was kicked over a fence into the River Dee get phone call from Norwegian island of Vanna where it had washed up, 1,118 miles (1,800km) away. Scientists use super-slow-motion cameras, special shoes, to discover why - and how - shoelaces come undone. Traffic warden filmed parking illegally so they can ticket workers' vehicles. Fed up, irate and disillusioned Americans can pay $25 (£19.96) to spend five minutes smashing up a replica Oval Office complete with Donald Trump mannequin in Dallas; owner claims to have seen a 'yuge' surge in business since November. Man filmed dropping lit cigarette butt down hole in pavement only for sewer beneath to explode under him. It's official - McVitie's confirm that chocolate hobnobs and Jaffa cakes actually have the chocolate on the bottom, not the top (they are dipped into the chocolate during manufacturing); biscuit lovers up in arms. Gas blast that destroyed most of house in York 'might have been caused by ants'. Russian woman changes surname to win supermarket promotion; irate husband fills her car with concrete. Strange rock with raised markings, magnetic reactions (though no magnetic content) discovered near site of 1947 'UFO' crash in Roswell, New Mexico. Finally, considering this Sunday, remember than it would take over two hours' running to burn off the calories in most Easter eggs...
Crowdfunding campaign to buy out Sheffield's Tramlines festival for £1.2m ($1.5m). Ant And Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway hit by fresh claims of fixing after competition contestant seeingly allowed to change answer. BBC filming adaptation of Jessie Burton's The Miniaturist, starring Anya Taylor-Joy and Romola Garai. Bridget Jones's Baby: The Diaries shortlisted for Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse Prize. Claire Foy out of The Crown as ageing role recast for third series, Jenna Coleman still in Victoria. Colson Whitehead's The Underground Railroad wins Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. Dame Maggie Smith says a Downton Abbey film would be 'overkill', suggests that should it happen it could start with her character (the Dowager Countess)'s funeral. Ed Sheeran settles copyright infringement claim over Photograph song. Jay Z, Beyonce pull some of their music from Spotify (50m subscribers) in favour of Tidal (3m subscribers, owners include Jay Z); Spotify considering direct stock market listing rather than IPO. John Cleese to star in Edith, his first BBC sitcom since Fawlty Towers. John Simm returning to Doctor Who as the Master, alongside later-regeneration Missy. Jude Law cast as young Albus Dumbledore in Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them sequel. Marvel fires Adian Syaf after controversial religious imagery in current X-Men comic artwork. Microsoft release details of XBox One console successor Scorpio, also release Windows 10 Creators update; not really for creators, still spyware. Damon Albarn working on second The Good, The Bad & The Queen album; new Gorillaz album due in weeks. 12-year-old Tye Trujillo, son of Metallica bassist Robert Trujillo to tour with Korn, filling in for absent ("due to unforeseen circumstances") Fieldy. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child wins record nine Olivier Awards including best new play, best actor and best supporting actor and actress. Joan Baez, Pearl Jam, Tupac Shakur, ELO, Journey and Yes inducted into US Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. UK music labels hit five-year revenue high. Writers' Guild of America threatens new industrial action.
Comedian Charlie Murphy (Chappelle's Show, 57), actor Tim Piggot-Smith (The Jewel in the Crown, V For Vendetta, 70), guitarist John Geils Jr (J Geils Band, 71), cinematographer Michael Ballhaus (Goodfellas, Bram Stoker's Dracula, 81), writer & broadcaster David Parry-Jones ("the voice of Welsh rugby", BBC Wales Today, 83), radio broadcaster Brian Matthew (Sounds of the 60s, 88), comedian Don Rickles (Toy Story, The Tonight Show, 90), actor Peter Hansen (When Worlds Collide, General Hospital, 95).
There is always a risk when citing telephone numbers in fictional film, TV or music that they might be real and people will dial them. This is why most US numbers broadcast begin '555'; there are few actual in-use phone numbers with that prefix (though it is only 555-0100 - 555-0199 that is specifically reserved for fictional use). In music the use of phone numbers is a little more problematic, because specific numbers are often chosen to fit a song's metre. One famous occurrence was in 1982, when musician Alex Call came up with a combination of four chords, a girl's name, and seven digits. The result, a hit for Call's friend Jim Keller's band, Tommy Tutone, was called 867-5309 / Jenny. This week's site is the Snopes.com page on the legend that grew from claims people kept calling the number.- http://www.snopes.com/music/songs/8675309.asp
^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!
Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:1, 8, 15, 27, 48, 56[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.
It was a warm sunny day and Little Jennifer's mother had taken her to the park. They were sitting on a bench eating ice creams when an old schoolfriend of her mother's approached them. She chatted to Little Jennifer's mother for a few minutes, catching up on the news, then turned to her daughter. "Hello, Little Jennifer," she smiled, "You're looking so pretty sitting there with your ice cream, I think you're a proper little princess."
Little Jennifer looked up, took a big lick of ice cream and thought for a moment. "I'm not a princess," she pouted, "Mummy says I'm a drama queen!"
^ ...end of line